The Session: Tunes - The Cheating Bastard (jig)

AKA "The Cheating Lark of the Dirty Bastard"

The tune is a Fianna original (http://fianna.f2g.net) dedicated to my non-fiance (Shari does not approve of such an irreverent name for such a lovely tune, so this may end up being one of those tunes with many names). Our first original, actually. I hope the name isn't too racey for this family-friendly site, Jeremy. Feel free to replace questionable words and phrases with cheery emoticons if I've crossed the line. We wrote it to fit into a dodgy rendition of Spancil Hill, but we seem to have ditched the song in favour of playing the tune on its own, or with other tunes. I flatpick this tune in DADGAD on my guitar while Shari plays the mandolin and it sounds pretty good, I think.

# Posted on May 17th 2002 by Kerri Brown

Dodgy Tune Names

Dear life in Toronto,
...a funny thing happened to me the other day.... I was looking at this great session web-site and came across a tune I co-wrote complete with a scandalously irreverant name.

Kerri... I thought we talked about this!!! It's such a lovely tune (if I may say so).

Signed,

Your Insolant Partner in Crime

# Posted on May 17th 2002 by searai

Very nice tune...but do you play it all peaceful and floating along, or full of piss and vinegar? I can imagine it either way...just wondering how the composers interpret it.

# Posted on May 17th 2002 by Will CPT

Nice tune - I just was playing it & paired it with the "Walls of Liscarroll" with good effect. That opening DDD lends itself nicely to a cran.

# Posted on May 17th 2002 by Mad Baloney

Piss and vinegar

we did talk about it, sweetheart, but I don't want to write another tune just to slap the clever title on it... the title is particularly relevant to the very night we wrote the tune. I thought we agreed that you could call it something else if you like. bicker bicker bicker.

will, we play it pretty slow. I'm not much of a flatpicker so it's partly out of necessity. It lends itself to a healthy dose of lift.

# Posted on May 17th 2002 by Kerri Brown

I quite like it. I've already re-monikered it "Kerri's Cheating Bastard" in my head.

Zina

# Posted on May 18th 2002 by Zina Lee

Nice Tune, Needs new Name

Too thoughtful a tune for such a direct-frontal-assault title. How about "The Stab in the Back" "Unlucky in Love"?

# Posted on May 18th 2002 by LongNote

I don't like to think of myself as "unlucky". Cuckolded perhaps. Misused. Hot of the presses of Fianna's tune name generator (http://fianna.f2g.net/cgi-bin/Generator/tuneNameGenerator.cgi):

The Chipper Liaison of the Frolicking Philanderer
Lark of the Dirty Philanderer
The Banshee on the Unfaithful Fiance
Inconsiderate Jig of the Selfish Boyfriend
and last but not least:
The Infuriating Rude Pot of Tea

# Posted on May 18th 2002 by Kerri Brown

I have to agree with Longnote again, good tune but the name is dumb.

# Posted on May 18th 2002 by Mad Baloney

Jeepers!

oh, thanks, Brad. You're very sensitive and understanding. I come up with an amusing tune name that makes me laugh in a time of great trauma and emotional pain and all I get is grief. If you like the tune but hate the name, just play it and call it something else. This thread is now closed to anything but positive, caring, supportive comments about my troubles with my ex or ideas on presentation, combination, ornamentation, and pacing. Plus flattery. I could use some flattery. Plus maybe some good vegetarian recipes to help me get my full daily quota of Vitamin B12 (the Happy Vitamin). And advice on what colors a die-hard "Autumn" should be wearing in the spring. And possibly a couple good tales of vengeance from my fellow cuckolds. And flirting. That's all.

# Posted on May 18th 2002 by Kerri Brown

I didn't mean to break your heart :o( - Even you seemed trepiditious about the title by your original comments. Howsabout the "Unrequited Jig" or "Halfway to the Altar". I liked "A Stab in the Back".

# Posted on May 18th 2002 by Mad Baloney

Halfway to the Altar is pretty good. Stab in the Back I find much more violent and disturbing than the Cheatin' Bastard. I'm not in the least bit uncertain about the name, personally. I'm just not sure whether "bastard" is a swear word or if it's fit for public posting. There might be dozens of irreverent children learning the tune right now just so that they can legitimately say "bastard" in front of their grannies. I don't want to be held responsible for corrupting the vocabulary of innocents.

# Posted on May 19th 2002 by Kerri Brown

Kerri, I don't know you, but I can commiserate!! I like the Inconsiderate Jig as a title. Its got a lovely ring to the name. If you don't re-name the Cheating Bastard, write an Inconsiderate Jig, ok??

# Posted on May 20th 2002 by burek

burek, I'll see what I can do but writing tunes isn't something I do every day. This co-production is number two. I'll see if I'm still mad by the time number three comes out. Could be the Inconsiderate Reel though.

# Posted on May 20th 2002 by Kerri Brown

My two cents...

I still like The Cheating Bastard. Of course, the Infuriating Rude Pot of Tea is pretty good, too.

Vengeance, my dear O'MacBrown, is already yours. He doesn't have YOU anymore, now does he? *grin*

Zina

# Posted on May 21st 2002 by Zina Lee

P.S. Flirting

Flirting is good. However, I doubt it would do you any good (or your ego) if *I* flirted with you. Brad, Glauber, Will, Wayne, and all the rest of them are likely to do a much better job.

Unless you've simply had it with men. *grin*

Zina

# Posted on May 21st 2002 by Zina Lee

Whoah

I'm spoken for, Zina, I didn't know you were ac/dc.

# Posted on May 22nd 2002 by Mad Baloney

"An Mac Suir� M�dhilis" has been recommended as the new 'less offensive' name for the tune. Although "bastard" is an Irish masculine noun of the first declension in its own right, "mac suir�" is a particularly vulgar and offensive epithet, with various rakish and sexual connotations which, I suspect, may be called for in the circumstances of Kerri's recent personal tribulations. (Taken from a friend of mine).

# Posted on May 22nd 2002 by searai

Brilliant, searai! I love it! Now how do you pronounce it? (And which of your plethora of friends suggested translating the general sentiment to settle the dispute?)

Thanks for the offer, Zina. I'd be honored to flirt with a beautiful goddess like you. True, I generally play for the home team, but what difference does gender make in this abstract world of disembodied thoughts and statements?

# Posted on May 22nd 2002 by Kerri Brown

Hehehe...I'm not, Brad, but, there, Kerri knew what I meant.

Zina

# Posted on May 22nd 2002 by Zina Lee

I pretty much figured that - just excercising my weird sense of humor. PS I'm not really a man.

# Posted on May 22nd 2002 by Mad Baloney

I knew it! There's a cyborg among us!

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Kerri Brown

Which of course brings up thoughts of what exactly Brad is, then. *grin* A cyborg is just too ... well, logical. I think something more fun is in order.

A friend of mine is a nurse and was telling me about a case of a true hermaphodite that they had recently at the hospital where she works. Believe it or else, this person impregnated HER/HISSELF when they decided to have children, and...wait for it...her/his partner as well. Using a turkey baster, before you get too titillated. They both gave successful birth recently.
Yup, you read it here first. What a great Enquirer article this story would make. Perhaps we can start a rumor that Brad's actually a hermaphodite.

You have to admit, where else would be possibly get into a conversation like this except for a session?! Heh.

Searai, I'll probably continue to call this tune Kerri's Cheating Bastard, if only because I've no idea how to pronounce An Mac Suiri Midhilis. Also, I have a hard enough time to get Dirk not to blush constantly -- if I add yet another tune with a vulgar epithet to the mix, I'll never hear the end of it. *snicker*

Zina

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Zina Lee

probably something like "on mac shiree milish". Care to weigh in, searai?

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Kerri Brown

I'm not a cyborg, hermaphodite or even a turkey baster; I'm an alien, so there :P

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Mad Baloney

Hmmmm....see this map? *grin*

zls

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Zina Lee

Are we talking "working in the orange patch without a greencard" kind of alien or a "just ran out of supercharged nuclear plasma juice and had to park the spaceship in a secluded stretch of parkland, terrifying a lovable group of misfit teens out on a camping trip and stirring them into a frenzy of innovative self-defence strategizing and desperate last minute romantic risk-taking only to teach them the true meaning of inter-species love and understanding in the end" kind of alien?

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Kerri Brown

*snicker*

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Zina Lee

"We Mean No Harm To Your Planet!"
- The Kentucky Fried Movie

# Posted on May 23rd 2002 by Mad Baloney

Well I think this discussion is going in a different direction than my comment ;) but I wanted to post and say I really like this tune, name and all. 'Course, I've co-written a tune called "Aquatic Narcolepsy" so maybe I'm not the best judge. *sigh* Anyway we're working out a fast-ish version for flute & low whistle that I'm extremely fond of. Great tune!!!

# Posted on October 25th 2002 by Trinil

Keep the name 'The Cheating Bastard' is perfect. It's a great wee tune and if it hadn't been for it's name I would never have found it!!

# Posted on October 24th 2003 by jkneale

Also fits well with 'Out on the Ocean' and 'Gander in the Pratie Hole'.

Thought you could call this set

'You Cheating Bastard - I'll drown you Out on the Ocean with a Gander up your Hole' !!!?

# Posted on October 24th 2003 by jkneale

Nice tune!

# Posted on October 24th 2003 by gian marco

I've posted another of our compositions called "Better off without him". It starts off even more melancholy as this one but then gets all chipper in the B part. They fit well together. Sometimes I play this in E then play Better off (in D minor and A mixolydian) or some such madness.

# Posted on April 12th 2004 by Kerri Brown

"Better off without him" is located here: http://www.thesession.org/tunes/display.php/2795

I always play the two tunes together. Otherwise I don't get any sense of closure.

# Posted on September 29th 2004 by Kerri Brown