The Session: Tunes - The Stack Of Bacon (hornpipe)

Hmm, G Lydian... aren't there any any C naturals in the 1st part?

# Posted on February 12th 2003 by Dow

Is this perchance a recent composition?

# Posted on February 13th 2003 by milesnagopaleen

Or more likely a recent decomposition?

lol, sorry, but after our long debate about posting tunes here, it just hits a nerve between my right funny bone and my left eyelid, making me twitch like a madman whenever I try to play these goofy "tunes" that keep showing up here. And it's especially helpful that hockeygirl could't be bothered to tell us anything about it.

You guys are being far too kind (G lydian indeed, lol :-)

My vote is to to toss it before anyone else smells the pork frying.

# Posted on February 13th 2003 by Will CPT

Not Kosher?

My first thought was Stack of Bacon? Is it kosher?

# Posted on February 13th 2003 by milesnagopaleen

Will don't be cruel! Come on hockeygirl, tell us about this tune!

# Posted on February 13th 2003 by milesnagopaleen

Yer right, even if I'd used a dozen smiley faces, I came across too hard. It's just that I'm assuming this is supposed to be in G maj, with c sharp accidentals in the B part, and it just doesn't go anywhere.

That said, I feel bad for anything I've posted here that would put someone off about posting tunes, even--especially--their own compositions. Chalk it up to my crankiness over being an American right now (I don't understand why so many Congressmen were ready to impeach Clinton for spoiling a good cigar, yet few in Congress will dare even speak out against Bush and his private little jihad against Iraq), and the liberating effect this site has on my teenage sense of humor (which I haven't seen in over 20 years).

I too would like to hear from hockeygirl--would it help if I said I'm a left-handed shot, played center, am a big fan of Joe Sakic, and I once scored a hat trick in under a minute and a half? (OOoooo...that sounds like bragging and I honestly didn't mean it that way--just one of those quirky things that happens when you put a piece of frozen rubber on a big sheet of ice and send 12 grown men out with butter knives welded to their shoes..... and another hockey fan would appreciate. With my luck, she's into *field* hockey :o) .

# Posted on February 13th 2003 by Will CPT

Alright alright here's the skinny on the tune

Hi -

Something didn't come out quite right in the sheet music. I copied the abc text directly from my file. I'll go in and correct the abc file once I figure out what's frigged up. There should be c naturals everywhere except noted.

Yeah I know it's a crappy little tune, but I wrote it for a friend of mine as a going away present. I happened to be eating a stack of bacon, and kind of hummed an "mmmmmhhhhmmmm that's good bacon" - and the beginnings of the tune came out of the "mmmmhhhhmmmm" - in fact you can almost hear it if you just slurr the first couple bars and sing "mmmmhhhhmmmm" to it.

In any case I thought to myself ha ha wouldn't the Stack of Bacon make a great tune name, and the next thought was that yeah, naturally the "Stack of (insert whatever here)" would have to be a hornpipe. Given my love for salted pork products it only seemed fitting that I of all people would be the composer of the Stack of Bacon hornpipe (my friends found it amusing).

And this wasn't just any stack of bacon mind you. I'm temporarily working in Germany for the year and because you can get any and all cuts of the pig that you want here, I had been conducting weekly "bacon experiements" - testing all the various kinds of bacon that are available here. That paticular weekend I had discovered joy and pain all rolled into one glorious package - an entire slab of the white (fatty and therefore the tastiest) part of your normal piece of bacon. This tune therefore, is not so much a characterless hornpipe (I'll be the first to admit it sounds like 30 other hornpipes rolled into one, and at first I wasn't even sure it was a real composition so much as some other tune I'd heard reproducing itself), but rather an expression of my love for a giant slab of bacon fat. I've never ever met my limits before when it comes to bacon mind you. Great genetics make it possible for me to each nearly a pound of bacon for a meal and not suffer any cholesterol related repercussions. But with this slab bacon, after 3-4 slices I hear Death knocking at the door. :-)

Yes I play ice hockey. Presently I'm playing in the German Bundesliga (german federal league) for a marginally adequate team near Stuttgart. I have no claims to quickie hat trick fame, but I just consider not be crushed to my death by large german women each week accomplishment enough.

Try spending some time listening to the French bashing American and see how surly you become. I mean come on. Since when did people start toadying to France? Germany, what happened to you.

Cheers and enjoy - sorry the tune came out all frigged up. I'll try to fix it. Yeah it's really ugly that way. Hopefully I can upgrade it to "grin and bear it" status.

Have a great weekend all.

# Posted on February 13th 2003 by _Steph_

Good god, I love bacon, but that makes my arteries clang shut just hearing about it.

# Posted on February 14th 2003 by Zina Lee

Yuk

Sorry, this is not what this site is for, it's here for us to share real tunes, that we play. If you just need to get printed music, try the "tune-o-tron" at www.concertina.net: http://www.concertina.net/tunes_convert.html
You can get your sheet music there (get the PDF version, it's really high quality) without leaving it on the Web forever.

Actually, it's a good idea to try a tune there (or other ABC converter) first before posting it here, even if it's just to see if you got the ABC right.

I'm sorry, i'm with Will, this tune is not ready for prime time.

And if you say yourself it's a "crappy little tune", why did you waste our time with it? :-(

# Posted on February 14th 2003 by glauber

Life is rough--dodging hip checks from oversized eisfrau, and then trying to duck the slap shots from us in here. I hope you've still got your helmet on.

Seems to me that the only problem with the abcs for this tune is that it needs to be in G major, not D major. That, and the B part especially needs to find a melody....

Better luck on the ice...and stay out of the penalty box!

# Posted on February 14th 2003 by Will CPT

The Stack of Bacon Eulogy

OK so it was my bad and had nothing to do with the abc format - in my haste I put in D major instead of G major. Should be remedied shortly.

In any case...some final words about The Stack of Bacon...I posted it here to be available for some session acquaintainces I know as a matter of convenience for them. We had some mutterings of agreement of "oh yeah I get tunes from there all the time". OK says I, I'll just post the tune there it'll be faster and you can get it and print it out at your own leisure.

So, I suppose while it meets one criteria of the purpose of this site, that is to say "...it's here for us to share real tunes...", perhaps I missed the mark entirely because this isn't a tune "....that we play."

Well, somebody forgot to add to the FAQ that "we" actually means a minority of visitors of this site, that does not include me, or the several other people I know who are looking retrieve my tune from here for the sake of convenience and time. Perhaps these are imaginary people. Perhaps the sessions I go to are also imaginary and I doubt any "real tunes" actually get played there.

I can write and print music just fine and dandy without this site thank you very much. Oh and thanks for the link. I take it from the recommendation that the environment is not as hostile as it is here, and probably there is some kind of pre-posting "Is this tune likeable enough to meet the high standards that "we" has mandated at www.thesession.org?" polling service available before you actually unleash a tune upon the world.

So is my new understanding correct that only tunes that are universally loved and played all over can be posted here? If that's the case then I move to have Maid Behind the Bar taken off the site, because I for one hate that tune with a passion and would live a happy life if I never heard it again. But wait, that's not correct is it - a tune can only be posted here if "we" approves and "we" plays it. I get it now. My apologies for the billions of dollars in wasted time this tune has generated.

If at all possible it will be removed so as to relieve "we" of all pain and suffering it seems to be inflicting.

# Posted on February 16th 2003 by _Steph_

You got it!

That's right, you can only post tunes here if we (the secret ruling cabal) like them. You have to guess what we like! :-)

# Posted on February 16th 2003 by glauber

Real life

When I post comments on this site I try and say only things that I know I would be happy to say to someone in real life.

# Posted on February 16th 2003 by Dow

This *is* real life, isn't it? The only one i know. In real life, sarcasm tends to bring out more sarcasm. So lighten up, eat some bacon, whatever, but whatever you do, don't touch the Maid Behind The Bar! That's one tune that the ruling cabal likes very much.

# Posted on February 16th 2003 by glauber