i'm curious - what is the most amusing/most disturbing experience you've had with drunk people at a session (i mean very drunk punters - this does not include the musicians! unless you have something hilarious to say)
Once playing a at C/W bar the front tables started throwing money----coins----at us, really hard. They hurt quite bad. My fiddle escaped, but the guitarist got quite a chunk taken out of his instrument. The management threw them out; later in the set one of them slunk back in with a huge baggie full of coins and placed it on the edge of the stage mumbling, "Sorry, ma'am." $45 in the bag!
Amazing, isn't it? Like being on the set of a cowboy movie, complete with the bartender slamming the beer bottle on the bar to use as self-defense. When I took a bar-tending job to work my way through college my sheltered little eyes were opened. During the infamous college football games it was not only big stupid people with alcohol but also big stupid people on steroids and alcohol. People are nuts sometimes.
I know of a case where a silver dollar was thrown at a nude dancer, breaking her front tooth. It was treated as a civil matter (e.g., lawsuit only, no criminal charges files) and she won the suit.
My favorite drunken punters moment remains the time we were playing under the mic up on stage at our local pub and a very drunken women came up and asked if we would play something for her friend who was having a bachelorette party in the back. I complied of course, and announced over the sound system that we would dedicate the next set of tunes to the lady who was getting hitched tomorrow. Everyone in the pub cheered and I began improvising about how we have a tradition here at the Plough that when someone's getting married the next day they have to come up and dance with all their bride’s maids. My cohorts in the band looked at me funny, but they would soon be thanking me. The bride and her friends -- all p*ssed out of their heads -- showed up next to the stage. The bride, as it turned out, was lovely as could be possible and the top half of her was barely contained by the tube-top she was wearing. We began to play and the girls formed a line with their shoulders locked. The very ample bride was in the middle of the line and they began to do a chorus line high-kick -- or as much as they could muster in their current state of sobriety. They were having a grand old time laughing and throwing their heads back, and none of them, including the bride, had noticed that her tube-top had now slipped down to her waist exposing this amazing and very mammerifull bouncing display. The fiddler completely lost his place in the tune... I was hanging on by a thread... and the crown went wild.
We had a couple of guys sitting at the bar all night at a session. We didn't know they were musicians, one of them looking like straight out of ZZ Top...
A bit later on one of them -rather drunk by now - borrows a fiddle and starts playing some classical music really well. He gets more and more frantic and suddenly one of the strings of the fiddle just snaps. He's comment? "Well, if you used proper gut strings that wouldn't have happened..."
Do I need to say that it's a comment that's been cited a few times now... ?
A bit of both amusing and disturbing I think, possibly just very unexpected! Great fun to watch until you saw the face of the poor fiddle owner...
Myself & Cris, two Protestants, were sitting playing our fiddles in a local session bar in North Antrim one night, a few years ago.
After a while, the owner decided to physically throw out a druk who was just getting more & more annoying for everyone in there.
So as he's frogmarching him to the door, the drunk, as he is dragged past us says - "I don't want to stay here anyway, listening to that scum, those feckin' taiges and their music"!
He then staggers around outside the bar for a few minutes before - falling headlong through the front plateglass window!
This was a beautiful window too, and not long after that, the owner fitted bull bars all along the front of it, to stop drunks taking a short cut into the bar!
N.B.
Taig (also "Teague") is a slang term used by some in Scotland and Northern Ireland to refer to Irish Roman Catholics.
It is derived from the Irish name Tadhg, considered to be "the man on the street" (i.e. the average Irish person you would meet anywhere), and it is generally considered to be highly offensive.
Anyone remember drunken nights at Top Farm, Castleford (UK) pre 1990s?
Trousers down and melons out were a regular feature.
We had a caller who was always on the lookout for obvious stockings-wearers. Dances featuring baskets always followed, if he spotted any sussers - the dancers always ended up in a heap and displayed even more.
One night the drummer spotted someone he fancied, so we tried a "when the music stops" dance, and every time the music stopped, she was in front of the band. The chortles from the band gave it and she got wise and walked off.
The farmer was very proud of his shiny red dancefloor until the Hells Angels rode their bikes around it. The Hells Angels drank the most, Featherstone Comp 6th form drank nearly as much.
I don't have a funny story, but would like to thank Ptarmigan for answering a question I've always wanted to ask... Do Northern Protestants play trad? Obviously they do and I'm overjoyed to hear it.
Further to Grouser's post: I've met plenty of people with the surname Teague (or McTeague) but I only once met somebody with it as a first name. It's the son of one of my wife's friends. He's a big gangling fifteen year-old. People call him "Tiggy"! (He used to play diablo on-line with the handle "Baron Tiggywinkle".) And yes, Aberandy. Some of us don't play very well, of course, but we like to think we're improving.
Last night, a very drunk young man, with a strong Irish accent and a New England Patriots football jersey, asked us to play Whiskey in the Jar, which I proceeded to do, as best I could, as I hadn't played it since last March (I forgot words throughout, and two full verses, which became la la la verses). He thanked me, gave me a hug, shook everyone's hands, wished us a Merry Christmas. Bad news is that I was embarrassed to hack up a song in public. Good news is that he went home happy. Better news is that he had a friend guiding him to the car, who was taking him home. I wish to God more stories of drunkenness finished with happy endings....
There were a couple bad ones when I was at various sessions -
At one back in Indiana, a drunken guy who THOUGHT he could play harmonica decided to come over to the session and try to play along. He said he could play in any key, so we told him the tune was in G. "E?" "No G." "D?" "G!!!!" "Oh...G?" "Yes!" And then he proceeded to play loudly, in a totally different key, in a totally different rhythm, and without paying one iota of attention to the music. His friends finally yanked him away.
Then there was the one out here in Syracuse - lovely session. We were having a great time. As we were wrapping up, one of the guys produced some t-shirts he was selling as a fund raiser for a local group (cute shirts with "I love Irish music" written on them in symbols). A drunken guy at the bar bought one (which was nice of him and all)...but then proceeded to take his shirt off right there at the bar...and then dropped his pants to tuck the shirt in. It was horrifying enough. But it got worse - he sat down to finish his meal and moments later shoved the plate with the remainder of the food right over the bar and left. We never were sure what that was about.
Probably a very common occurance on this sid eof the pond is to be playing for a crowd of drunken eejits who proudly sponsor the fact that their great great great great grandmother came over from some county in Ireland and that makes them irish especaiily on St Pat's day. I was playing at the local pub when one persistant patron kept requesting "the Unicorn" which is one of the most annoying non Irish yet associated with Irish because of the Rovers tune. After a few of these requests to sing a "real Irish tune" I fianlly presented the crowd with a rendition of "bean phadeen" (spelling is probably wrong) in the Irish language. The eejit then loks up on stage and roars out in drunken stupor "that's not an Irish song I want to hear the unicorn!"
I lost it.
The bar security was heading for the man but I got there first and quite physically threw the eejit out into the snow and cold minus his coat and shoes. The rest of the night went without a hitch and I've never had anyone ever ask me to sing the unicorn again.
We used to get drunken zombies sometimes towards the end of a Friday or Saturday night when we would be playing on the stage. There would be one or two of them; they would sit with a vacant expression staring at us and tapping their foot of fingers to the tunes. When we came to the end of the tunes, whatever they were tapping would stop as well. They wouldn't move a muscle or bat an eye. When we would start a new set they would resume their tapping. Sometimes I would try, with limited success, to wake them from their stupor by announcing; "This next set of tunes is for the fellow enjoying the music with us here in the front." and I'd point him out. The more sober punters would clap for him, but seemed equally amused that it inspired no reaction. We would resume playing -- he would resume tapping.
The other drunken zombies were simply passed out here and there around the room. They remained motionless until the barman roused them and put them in a cab. Oh the joys of entertaining drunken zombies.
drunkenness!
drunkenness!
i'm curious - what is the most amusing/most disturbing experience you've had with drunk people at a session (i mean very drunk punters - this does not include the musicians! unless you have something hilarious to say)
x
# Posted on December 11th 2005 by flisstle
Re: drunkenness!
Once playing a at C/W bar the front tables started throwing money----coins----at us, really hard. They hurt quite bad. My fiddle escaped, but the guitarist got quite a chunk taken out of his instrument. The management threw them out; later in the set one of them slunk back in with a huge baggie full of coins and placed it on the edge of the stage mumbling, "Sorry, ma'am." $45 in the bag!
# Posted on December 11th 2005 by dmarie
Re: drunkenness!
Oh, ya know, punches, tables and chairs being thrown. Just the usual sort of thing.
Once while taking refuge at a corner table and observing the affair from the vantage point of relative saftey my bodhran player commented:
"Now there's a good idea. Let's mix big, stupid people with alchohol."
KFG
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by KFG
Re: drunkenness!
Amazing, isn't it? Like being on the set of a cowboy movie, complete with the bartender slamming the beer bottle on the bar to use as self-defense. When I took a bar-tending job to work my way through college my sheltered little eyes were opened. During the infamous college football games it was not only big stupid people with alcohol but also big stupid people on steroids and alcohol. People are nuts sometimes.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by dmarie
Re: drunkenness!
DMarie, that's assault. Were charges pressed?
I know of a case where a silver dollar was thrown at a nude dancer, breaking her front tooth. It was treated as a civil matter (e.g., lawsuit only, no criminal charges files) and she won the suit.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by cathrynb
Re: drunkenness!
My favorite drunken punters moment remains the time we were playing under the mic up on stage at our local pub and a very drunken women came up and asked if we would play something for her friend who was having a bachelorette party in the back. I complied of course, and announced over the sound system that we would dedicate the next set of tunes to the lady who was getting hitched tomorrow. Everyone in the pub cheered and I began improvising about how we have a tradition here at the Plough that when someone's getting married the next day they have to come up and dance with all their bride’s maids. My cohorts in the band looked at me funny, but they would soon be thanking me. The bride and her friends -- all p*ssed out of their heads -- showed up next to the stage. The bride, as it turned out, was lovely as could be possible and the top half of her was barely contained by the tube-top she was wearing. We began to play and the girls formed a line with their shoulders locked. The very ample bride was in the middle of the line and they began to do a chorus line high-kick -- or as much as they could muster in their current state of sobriety. They were having a grand old time laughing and throwing their heads back, and none of them, including the bride, had noticed that her tube-top had now slipped down to her waist exposing this amazing and very mammerifull bouncing display. The fiddler completely lost his place in the tune... I was hanging on by a thread... and the crown went wild.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Phantom Button
Re: drunkenness!
We had a couple of guys sitting at the bar all night at a session. We didn't know they were musicians, one of them looking like straight out of ZZ Top...
A bit later on one of them -rather drunk by now - borrows a fiddle and starts playing some classical music really well. He gets more and more frantic and suddenly one of the strings of the fiddle just snaps. He's comment? "Well, if you used proper gut strings that wouldn't have happened..."
Do I need to say that it's a comment that's been cited a few times now... ?
A bit of both amusing and disturbing I think, possibly just very unexpected! Great fun to watch until you saw the face of the poor fiddle owner...
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by jennie
Re: drunkenness!
mammerifull?
oh, mammalian protruberances...ha...great story
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Sunnybear
Re: drunkenness!
Myself & Cris, two Protestants, were sitting playing our fiddles in a local session bar in North Antrim one night, a few years ago.
After a while, the owner decided to physically throw out a druk who was just getting more & more annoying for everyone in there.
So as he's frogmarching him to the door, the drunk, as he is dragged past us says - "I don't want to stay here anyway, listening to that scum, those feckin' taiges and their music"!
He then staggers around outside the bar for a few minutes before - falling headlong through the front plateglass window!
This was a beautiful window too, and not long after that, the owner fitted bull bars all along the front of it, to stop drunks taking a short cut into the bar!
N.B.
Taig (also "Teague") is a slang term used by some in Scotland and Northern Ireland to refer to Irish Roman Catholics.
It is derived from the Irish name Tadhg, considered to be "the man on the street" (i.e. the average Irish person you would meet anywhere), and it is generally considered to be highly offensive.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: drunkenness!
- ............for druk read drunk!
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: drunkenness!
Anyone remember drunken nights at Top Farm, Castleford (UK) pre 1990s?
Trousers down and melons out were a regular feature.
We had a caller who was always on the lookout for obvious stockings-wearers. Dances featuring baskets always followed, if he spotted any sussers - the dancers always ended up in a heap and displayed even more.
One night the drummer spotted someone he fancied, so we tried a "when the music stops" dance, and every time the music stopped, she was in front of the band. The chortles from the band gave it and she got wise and walked off.
The farmer was very proud of his shiny red dancefloor until the Hells Angels rode their bikes around it. The Hells Angels drank the most, Featherstone Comp 6th form drank nearly as much.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by geoffwright
Re: drunkenness!
I don't have a funny story, but would like to thank Ptarmigan for answering a question I've always wanted to ask... Do Northern Protestants play trad? Obviously they do and I'm overjoyed to hear it.
Go Raibh míle maith agat!
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Aberandy
Re: drunkenness!
Further to Grouser's post: I've met plenty of people with the surname Teague (or McTeague) but I only once met somebody with it as a first name. It's the son of one of my wife's friends. He's a big gangling fifteen year-old. People call him "Tiggy"! (He used to play diablo on-line with the handle "Baron Tiggywinkle".) And yes, Aberandy. Some of us don't play very well, of course, but we like to think we're improving.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Innocent Bystander
Re: drunkenness!
Hey Bystander, I don't like the way you were looking at me when you wrote - "Some of us don't play very well....." - Who's been talking?
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: drunkenness!
Last night, a very drunk young man, with a strong Irish accent and a New England Patriots football jersey, asked us to play Whiskey in the Jar, which I proceeded to do, as best I could, as I hadn't played it since last March (I forgot words throughout, and two full verses, which became la la la verses). He thanked me, gave me a hug, shook everyone's hands, wished us a Merry Christmas. Bad news is that I was embarrassed to hack up a song in public. Good news is that he went home happy. Better news is that he had a friend guiding him to the car, who was taking him home. I wish to God more stories of drunkenness finished with happy endings....
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by AlBrown
Re: drunkenness!
There were a couple bad ones when I was at various sessions -
At one back in Indiana, a drunken guy who THOUGHT he could play harmonica decided to come over to the session and try to play along. He said he could play in any key, so we told him the tune was in G. "E?" "No G." "D?" "G!!!!" "Oh...G?" "Yes!" And then he proceeded to play loudly, in a totally different key, in a totally different rhythm, and without paying one iota of attention to the music. His friends finally yanked him away.
Then there was the one out here in Syracuse - lovely session. We were having a great time. As we were wrapping up, one of the guys produced some t-shirts he was selling as a fund raiser for a local group (cute shirts with "I love Irish music" written on them in symbols). A drunken guy at the bar bought one (which was nice of him and all)...but then proceeded to take his shirt off right there at the bar...and then dropped his pants to tuck the shirt in. It was horrifying enough. But it got worse - he sat down to finish his meal and moments later shoved the plate with the remainder of the food right over the bar and left. We never were sure what that was about.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Crysania
Re: drunkenness!
Probably a very common occurance on this sid eof the pond is to be playing for a crowd of drunken eejits who proudly sponsor the fact that their great great great great grandmother came over from some county in Ireland and that makes them irish especaiily on St Pat's day. I was playing at the local pub when one persistant patron kept requesting "the Unicorn" which is one of the most annoying non Irish yet associated with Irish because of the Rovers tune. After a few of these requests to sing a "real Irish tune" I fianlly presented the crowd with a rendition of "bean phadeen" (spelling is probably wrong) in the Irish language. The eejit then loks up on stage and roars out in drunken stupor "that's not an Irish song I want to hear the unicorn!"
I lost it.
The bar security was heading for the man but I got there first and quite physically threw the eejit out into the snow and cold minus his coat and shoes. The rest of the night went without a hitch and I've never had anyone ever ask me to sing the unicorn again.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by newfie percussionist
Re: drunkenness!
We used to get drunken zombies sometimes towards the end of a Friday or Saturday night when we would be playing on the stage. There would be one or two of them; they would sit with a vacant expression staring at us and tapping their foot of fingers to the tunes. When we came to the end of the tunes, whatever they were tapping would stop as well. They wouldn't move a muscle or bat an eye. When we would start a new set they would resume their tapping. Sometimes I would try, with limited success, to wake them from their stupor by announcing; "This next set of tunes is for the fellow enjoying the music with us here in the front." and I'd point him out. The more sober punters would clap for him, but seemed equally amused that it inspired no reaction. We would resume playing -- he would resume tapping.
The other drunken zombies were simply passed out here and there around the room. They remained motionless until the barman roused them and put them in a cab. Oh the joys of entertaining drunken zombies.
# Posted on December 12th 2005 by Phantom Button