Joe, have you ever tried pulling that old haggis story with someone and they believed it? Myself and two Glaswegian mates had this poor Nigerian friend believing that they ran wild in the Highlands, had the body of a small horse and the head of a seagull.
Also, two of their legs on one side were shorter than the other two, so that they could run upright on the steep inclines of the mountains. I had to quickly qualify that statement by saying that they could only run in one direction around the mountain, otherwise they would fall down; that's why they're easy to catch and you get loads of them in Sainsbury's in time for Burn's night!
I still snigger to myself when I think of that one.
I asked a guy who took out his fiddle the other night what kind of tunes he played. He said "I play a dotted rythm in Gmin." I laughed, I thought it was a good answer.
But after he "joined in" with some steady straight reels in D, I stopped laughing.
And after he "joined in" with some jigs, I told him to shut up.
Conàn,
That story is true. There are right hand haggis that run around the mountain clockwise whereas left hand haggis have shorter legs on the other side and consequently they run around the mountain anti-clockwise. from time to time the right hand and left hand haggis (or haggi) collide. All you have to do then is nab èm while they are still stunned.
Honest!
Their skins can also be used to make a beautiful and melodious instrument called a Bodhràn.
The left handed and right handed haggis are two distinct species. This is because the left can only mate with left and the right with other right ones. There is a lot of serious head butting between the species though, as Joe mentioned.
Aye and bodhràns made from the haggis are played by head butting the instrument. Left hand haggis skins are of course used to make bodhràns for left handed players.
Here in the southern hemisphere it's the other way round of course. Here left handed players play on right handed bodhràns. (Nuturally, left handed players still use left handed wackers, regardless of hemisphere.)
But there's one thing I've always wondered about; if you flush a left handed bodhràn down a toilet in the southern hemisphere, which way does it spin?
I hate sessions where you try to start a bit of crack and you're met with blank stares. I'm sure many of us have been party to these "shop dummy" sessions. Like pulling teeth.
Even if only one person at our session is feeling fantastic, the session will not be boring. If no-one does, the chances are it will be a boring session.
Ptarmigan, I feel I should inform you that you can get special dummies with extra large mouths, obviously for flute-playing, and with their arms in the ideal position for wearing a set of pipes.
Yeah, I know these sessions. People who are too scared to talk to each other lest it's considered rude. And you get barred if you laugh. Zombie sessions. Playing with the walking dead.
If you strike lucky Ptarmigan, you might get to take one of those special dummies home ... Though you'll probably not want to bother with the laughter tape.
I think you would need to be very experienced to have enough puff to blow up four of these particular species of dummy, & surely only flute players would have been desparate enough over the years to have gained that experience.
How do you get lucky with a dummy..... Zina?
Ask a flute player!
I dunno. That would mean shifting the weekly sock drawer re-org. And, I really enjoy watching old golf broadcasts and the home shopping network on Tuesdays. Yeah, I just dunno.
Let's face it, there's one shed load of wasters out there from Nebraska to Alaska, from Sutherland to Suffolk, East London, Union of South Africa to East London UK.................
Everybody's gone surfin' ...
What a fascinating discussion topic indeed. We could get loads of mileage out of this one. I wonder what would happen if everyone posted a discussion topic on every internet forum in existence announcing that they were bored and that they couldn't think of anything to talk about. Maybe the whole web would come to a standstill, unable to cope with the sheer volume of creative ideas and imagination from its users. Jolly glad I logged on to the session today - there's so much valuable new stuff to be learnt here it just makes my head spin with the intensity of it all. Ooh I think I need to sit down and have a rest, this is all too much.
This thread seriously does my head in though. I mean, seriously, if everyone posted a discussion while they were at work to the effect of "hi guys & gals, I'm bored at work, can't think of anything to talk about but let's chat anyway", or "hello, talk to me please, I'm feeling lonely tonight because my friend Julie's looking after my cat round her place and there's nothing on the telly because it's Friday night when there's only naff films and anyway I've already seen them all", this board would degenerate fairly quickly into something like one of those skin-dryingly jejune mobile network things where you text flirty messages to people you don't even know. It's the Irish-Traditional-Music-On-The-Web equivalent of the mundane bits of Big Brother, or a really boring but simultaneously incredibly irritating TV advert. I mean, it's just begging to have the pess taken out of it.
Do I give a toss what does your head in?
Actually, yes. If it annoys you, that amuses me.
But let's face it, you don't have to read it. It's that simple.
It doesn't annoy me Pingu, it just baffles me. And of course I do have to read it, because you wrote it. Any excuse to wind you up. It's so easy to do, after all
OBTW that's not me in the pic - I never wear a shirt and tie for a start. Nice that you remembered my name tho'. Now you can say you've played tunes with me
Okay, leaving aside for a moment the fact that you might be bored by my posts (that's fine by me, whatever), really Pingu, you should never, ever, ever be bored in life. If you ever find you're bored, you're doing something wrong. There's so much to be had out of life, so much to see and do, so many tunes to learn to play, so many interesting people to meet, there's no reason for you ever to sit there being bored. So if you're bored at work do something to make it interesting. Go and talk to someone at work who you don't usually talk to. Ask them some questions and find out about them. When you've finished work go and do something wacky that you wouldn't normally do, like sleep outside in the street for a night in Central London, so that you can find out what it's like for homeless people. Get some friends together and go out to an event that you wouldn't normally choose to see like an evening of Lithuanian folk song in an obscure suburb. Go and eat some food you've never tried before, or see a film. You're living in one of the most exciting megacities in the entire world. If you're bored, you're missing out on something, belive me dude.
Thanks for your unexpected concern and words of wisdom, Mark. The truth is I'm not really bored - I just made that up to get a silly thread going. After all we are here partly to foster some sense of an internet community are we not? I'm rushing through some experiments but there's some down-time in between, so what better way to waste time than to come on here and inflict you lot with some drivel - and it can't be that bad if you keep coming back here also. I think maybe you take things a bit too seriously.
BTW, I knew the picture wasn't you. I have this mental image of a cross between Rick and Neil from The Young Ones, with a Geordie accent.
(Oh incidentally - that was a wind-up in case you weren't sure.)
Starting a thread about being bored is exactly the kind of thing you are recommending, Dow. Do something wacky, talk to people about things you wouldn't normally talk to them about, do something you wouldn't normally do, throw something up into the air just for the thrill of seeing where it will land, post a thread about being bored on a session site, bug your colleagues about their private lives...
To keep from being bored, now that Dow has gotten sermonizing out of his system, at least for the time being (and there is nothing I can think of that is less boring than a good sermon or lecture---ho ho ho), we could talk about how our own instrument is better than the fiddles/ flutes/ accordions/ whistles/ banjoes/ guitars/ bodhrans/ bouzoukis (pick one) that the idiot/ moron/ lowlife beside us is playing, and not playing up to our standards.
That kind of talk seems to generate the longest threads!
bored bored bored
bored bored bored
I'm a bit bored today - and bereft of ideas.
Can anyone think up a topic we might discuss?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
Haggis hunting in the Highlands?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
"What' shall we talk about next, George? Football."
"Nah, we did that back in Liverpool"
"Beer. What about beer?"
"Newcastle"
"Racing?"
"York"
"May as well take a break then."
OK then; what makes some sessions boring? Why do we sometimes put ourselves through 3 hours of hell in the slim hope things will get better?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
Joe, have you ever tried pulling that old haggis story with someone and they believed it? Myself and two Glaswegian mates had this poor Nigerian friend believing that they ran wild in the Highlands, had the body of a small horse and the head of a seagull.
Also, two of their legs on one side were shorter than the other two, so that they could run upright on the steep inclines of the mountains. I had to quickly qualify that statement by saying that they could only run in one direction around the mountain, otherwise they would fall down; that's why they're easy to catch and you get loads of them in Sainsbury's in time for Burn's night!
I still snigger to myself when I think of that one.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
I asked a guy who took out his fiddle the other night what kind of tunes he played. He said "I play a dotted rythm in Gmin." I laughed, I thought it was a good answer.
But after he "joined in" with some steady straight reels in D, I stopped laughing.
And after he "joined in" with some jigs, I told him to shut up.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by llig leahcim
Re: bored bored bored
Sounds like you shoud have joined in a right-hook with his gob.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
*should*; the "l" is silent
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
Conàn,
That story is true. There are right hand haggis that run around the mountain clockwise whereas left hand haggis have shorter legs on the other side and consequently they run around the mountain anti-clockwise. from time to time the right hand and left hand haggis (or haggi) collide. All you have to do then is nab èm while they are still stunned.
Honest!
Their skins can also be used to make a beautiful and melodious instrument called a Bodhràn.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
The left handed and right handed haggis are two distinct species. This is because the left can only mate with left and the right with other right ones. There is a lot of serious head butting between the species though, as Joe mentioned.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Shrog
Re: bored bored bored
Aye and bodhràns made from the haggis are played by head butting the instrument. Left hand haggis skins are of course used to make bodhràns for left handed players.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
Jaysus! Just do a Google search on Haggis Hunting! Lads, I believe you now; I'm a convert.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
You have to be careful to get a health haggis - tick infection can lead to serious tuning problems further down the line.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by jfother
Re: bored bored bored
Here in the southern hemisphere it's the other way round of course. Here left handed players play on right handed bodhràns. (Nuturally, left handed players still use left handed wackers, regardless of hemisphere.)
But there's one thing I've always wondered about; if you flush a left handed bodhràn down a toilet in the southern hemisphere, which way does it spin?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Shrog
Re: bored bored bored
This bodhràn has me kilt!
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
Do Haggi wear kilts?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
Have you noticed that after a certain point, we all just reset to "nonsense"? I love that.
Hmmm. What DOES make some sessions boring? Isn't it more how you're feeling rather than the session itself?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: bored bored bored
I hate sessions where you try to start a bit of crack and you're met with blank stares. I'm sure many of us have been party to these "shop dummy" sessions. Like pulling teeth.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
Even if only one person at our session is feeling fantastic, the session will not be boring. If no-one does, the chances are it will be a boring session.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Shrog
Re: bored bored bored
What a great idea Conan!!
Think I'll start a new session on a Tuesday night, & just take along four 'shop dummies' & stick instruments in their hands.
What a brilliant idea. I can then play all my favourite tunes without any interuptions!
I could also tape laughter & ensure that everyone laughs for ages at all my jokes.
Sorry. I'm not going to tell you where this will happen, that would just spoil it all, if real musicians turned up.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: bored bored bored
Ptarmigan, I feel I should inform you that you can get special dummies with extra large mouths, obviously for flute-playing, and with their arms in the ideal position for wearing a set of pipes.
Have a wonderful evening!!
C
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Conán McDonnell
Re: bored bored bored
Yeah, I know these sessions. People who are too scared to talk to each other lest it's considered rude. And you get barred if you laugh. Zombie sessions. Playing with the walking dead.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
What're you saying about flute players now, Conan?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: bored bored bored
If you strike lucky Ptarmigan, you might get to take one of those special dummies home ... Though you'll probably not want to bother with the laughter tape.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Ottery
Re: bored bored bored
Just don't try any love bites - that could be a deflating experience.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
How do you get lucky with a dummy....?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: bored bored bored
I think you would need to be very experienced to have enough puff to blow up four of these particular species of dummy, & surely only flute players would have been desparate enough over the years to have gained that experience.
How do you get lucky with a dummy..... Zina?
Ask a flute player!
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: bored bored bored
I was hoping somebody would give me an answer, y'see, Ptarmigan! I'm not sure I've the courage to ask a flute player, though.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: bored bored bored
<blank stare>
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Jode
Re: bored bored bored
Jode, I don't get it.
Are you saying that a <blank stare> is what one expects, when one asks a flute player a question?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: bored bored bored
Do you not know, or do you just refuse to answer, Jode? ;)
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: bored bored bored
No no, this is my shop dummy impression:
<blank stare>
How'm I doin'?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Jode
Re: bored bored bored
Perfect!
Can you come to my session, next Tuesday?
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: bored bored bored
"How do you get lucky with a dummy?"
Judging from how us men are typically characterized in the media, I'd suppose any woman would feel qualified to answer that.....
D'oh!
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Miss Lonelyhearts
Re: bored bored bored
I dunno. That would mean shifting the weekly sock drawer re-org. And, I really enjoy watching old golf broadcasts and the home shopping network on Tuesdays. Yeah, I just dunno.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by Jode
Re: bored bored bored
"Just dont try any love bites.."
Yes it might go down on you.
# Posted on August 11th 2005 by flanum
Re: bored bored bored
Ach well. Not bad mileage for a load of nothing.
Let's face it, there's one shed load of wasters out there from Nebraska to Alaska, from Sutherland to Suffolk, East London, Union of South Africa to East London UK.................
Everybody's gone surfin' ...
surfin' USA (Union of South Africa).
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
Haggis Hunting in the Highlands!
Where is the sport in that?
Try hunting them in Cornwall or Kerry, or out in the North Sea, & give yourself a real challange!!
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Ptarmigan
Re: bored bored bored
What a fascinating discussion topic indeed. We could get loads of mileage out of this one. I wonder what would happen if everyone posted a discussion topic on every internet forum in existence announcing that they were bored and that they couldn't think of anything to talk about. Maybe the whole web would come to a standstill, unable to cope with the sheer volume of creative ideas and imagination from its users. Jolly glad I logged on to the session today - there's so much valuable new stuff to be learnt here it just makes my head spin with the intensity of it all. Ooh I think I need to sit down and have a rest, this is all too much.
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Dow
Re: bored bored bored
You're so bored with it you felt you just had to post something anyway. You didn't have to but you did.
There you go.
What else do I need to say?
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
Still bored, Pingu?
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
With pointless negative comments, yes. The rest of this thread has been a good bit of fun. Thanks Joe!
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
"I'm a bit bored today - and bereft of ideas."
And that's not a pointless negative comment of course! Not on Planet Pingu anyway. Heh.
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Dow
Re: bored bored bored
Well, the bad news is ye're all gonna die one day. The good news is that I'm off to Co. Clare tomorrow for a few days R & R.
anyone else in that area?
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
Nope, but I am off up to rural Suffolk as soon as I can. Wa-hey!
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
This thread seriously does my head in though. I mean, seriously, if everyone posted a discussion while they were at work to the effect of "hi guys & gals, I'm bored at work, can't think of anything to talk about but let's chat anyway", or "hello, talk to me please, I'm feeling lonely tonight because my friend Julie's looking after my cat round her place and there's nothing on the telly because it's Friday night when there's only naff films and anyway I've already seen them all", this board would degenerate fairly quickly into something like one of those skin-dryingly jejune mobile network things where you text flirty messages to people you don't even know. It's the Irish-Traditional-Music-On-The-Web equivalent of the mundane bits of Big Brother, or a really boring but simultaneously incredibly irritating TV advert. I mean, it's just begging to have the pess taken out of it.
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Dow
Re: bored bored bored
Do I give a toss what does your head in?
Actually, yes. If it annoys you, that amuses me.
But let's face it, you don't have to read it. It's that simple.
Is this someone we know:
http://www.nswteachers.nsw.edu.au/about/1049431161_16092.html
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
It doesn't annoy me Pingu, it just baffles me. And of course I do have to read it, because you wrote it. Any excuse to wind you up. It's so easy to do, after all
OBTW that's not me in the pic - I never wear a shirt and tie for a start. Nice that you remembered my name tho'. Now you can say you've played tunes with me
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Dow
Re: bored bored bored
bored bored bored
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
Okay, leaving aside for a moment the fact that you might be bored by my posts (that's fine by me, whatever), really Pingu, you should never, ever, ever be bored in life. If you ever find you're bored, you're doing something wrong. There's so much to be had out of life, so much to see and do, so many tunes to learn to play, so many interesting people to meet, there's no reason for you ever to sit there being bored. So if you're bored at work do something to make it interesting. Go and talk to someone at work who you don't usually talk to. Ask them some questions and find out about them. When you've finished work go and do something wacky that you wouldn't normally do, like sleep outside in the street for a night in Central London, so that you can find out what it's like for homeless people. Get some friends together and go out to an event that you wouldn't normally choose to see like an evening of Lithuanian folk song in an obscure suburb. Go and eat some food you've never tried before, or see a film. You're living in one of the most exciting megacities in the entire world. If you're bored, you're missing out on something, belive me dude.
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Dow
Re: bored bored bored
Here endeth the sermon. Go forth and multiply
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
Hall- eluuuu- jah!
Thanks for your unexpected concern and words of wisdom, Mark. The truth is I'm not really bored - I just made that up to get a silly thread going. After all we are here partly to foster some sense of an internet community are we not? I'm rushing through some experiments but there's some down-time in between, so what better way to waste time than to come on here and inflict you lot with some drivel - and it can't be that bad if you keep coming back here also. I think maybe you take things a bit too seriously.
BTW, I knew the picture wasn't you. I have this mental image of a cross between Rick and Neil from The Young Ones, with a Geordie accent.
(Oh incidentally - that was a wind-up in case you weren't sure.)
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
See?! I'm not as heartless as you think, Pingu. I meant every word from the depths of my warm and caring soul.
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Dow
Re: bored bored bored
Eh --- yeah, ok.....what am I supposed to say?
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Nick Splease
Re: bored bored bored
Soooo Dow gets all preachy and then Pingu starts to explain himself ....... what the f**k is all that about?
Lighten up boys
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by breandan
Re: bored bored bored
Starting a thread about being bored is exactly the kind of thing you are recommending, Dow. Do something wacky, talk to people about things you wouldn't normally talk to them about, do something you wouldn't normally do, throw something up into the air just for the thrill of seeing where it will land, post a thread about being bored on a session site, bug your colleagues about their private lives...
BTW Pingu, it's a republic, not a union. :-p
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Shrog
Re: bored bored bored
http://www.andertoons.com/psychology_cartoons.php
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by breandan
Re: bored bored bored
WELL? DO haggisss wear kilts?
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Joe Quinn
Re: bored bored bored
Why shouldn't they?
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: bored bored bored
To keep from being bored, now that Dow has gotten sermonizing out of his system, at least for the time being (and there is nothing I can think of that is less boring than a good sermon or lecture---ho ho ho), we could talk about how our own instrument is better than the fiddles/ flutes/ accordions/ whistles/ banjoes/ guitars/ bodhrans/ bouzoukis (pick one) that the idiot/ moron/ lowlife beside us is playing, and not playing up to our standards.
That kind of talk seems to generate the longest threads!
# Posted on August 12th 2005 by AlBrown
Re: bored bored bored
yes
so what's the crack with the musical ''dancing priest'' of nunhead then?
# Posted on August 16th 2005 by lisaniska