Now, I was having an interesting conversation with my partner when a curious statement got me thinking.
How friendly are your musician friends?
Do they merely pass the evening with you when you`re out, provide amiable conversation about all things musical, with no digression into your personal life and leave with the comment `see you next week`?
Or, are they truly your friend, some one who you could rely on in a time of need, offer advice, comfort, sympathy and have a healthy interest in your welfare.
To answer my own question, what I have realized is that there are a mixture of types in my life.
There are those people who play, that I aquire over time into my company, but on whom I would never off load a story of personal turmoil.
Those that I am glad to see, but who are often far away, or busy in other aspects of their own lives. Yet when we meet again it`s as though they had been around all along.
The final catagory are the friends who play with me frequently, are supportive, sympathetic, and offer great advice on my playing in a way that would never make me feel threatened or belittled.
Yeah I agree that you've covered the terrority...there are some at session who I talk to about my life, who know ME, not just my music or whistle playing...and others who I just play music with and know little about their personal lives.
I'm sitting here trying to think of any close friends who aren't musicians. Nope, can't think of any except family. I do have other friends, mostly workplace acquaintences, but all of my *close* friends are people I've jammed and gigged with for years.
Then there are lots of other musician friends I've known for many years but know almost nothing abot their personal lives.
Bliss!!! Be you paranoid or something? What? - is Jack after you to be his friend? Gweesh! I think he is still after that guy in the kilts hoping for an upward breeze or something.
That's nice to know! Last time I needed someone to rape and pillage Europe for me, I looked up Europe, Rape and Pillage in the Yellow Pages, and had to make nearly a dozen phone calls before I found someone who would do it for 2+ drinks.
Hmmm. If you wanted to, I suppose you could really turn the question into something fairly serious and all that...nah, let's just let The Glee Club loose. ;)
To answer the "question", though, like others earlier I have lots of acquaintances that fall in one or the other of your groups there, Rea. They don't have to be musicians for that. Running the risk of being rather mawkish about it, I think my real friends are few and very precious to me, and I believe that it takes so much effort and time to have real friends that it's almost impossible for me to have more than just the few.
Oddly, some of those true friends I got to know here. One of my best friends ever I 'met' here. I have a lot of good friends from here, though, we might not know all there is to know about each other, but we know enough to care about each other and to try and keep up with lives and offering help and support when needed. (This was really brought forward to me when my father died in March, and last year when he was in hospital.)
Guess proximity and familiarity aren't always necessary for someone to care and be a good friend. Thank goodness.
In my experience proximity does help. But then what do I know.
I met my current partner playing music. Apart from that, from good friends to people the company of whom I only tolerate because I pity their loneliness and wretchedness (more like a single person here), there are all kinds.
Sometines, beyond the shared interest in tunes, I have absolutely nothing in common with other session members - I really like most of them still and enjoy meeting them as people. But I'm glad my husband (who is otherwise so much like me) is not at all involved with Irish music as it gives my life a balance.
Some of the people I play with are good friends, some are pleasant acquaintences, a few I keep at arm's length. But in general, they are folks I get along with really well. Maybe it is because we share a common passion for music. They aren't quite as nurturing as the people I know from my church. But they are certainly more colorful than the friends I meet at work!....
How friendly are your friends?
How friendly are your friends?
Now, I was having an interesting conversation with my partner when a curious statement got me thinking.
How friendly are your musician friends?
Do they merely pass the evening with you when you`re out, provide amiable conversation about all things musical, with no digression into your personal life and leave with the comment `see you next week`?
Or, are they truly your friend, some one who you could rely on in a time of need, offer advice, comfort, sympathy and have a healthy interest in your welfare.
To answer my own question, what I have realized is that there are a mixture of types in my life.
There are those people who play, that I aquire over time into my company, but on whom I would never off load a story of personal turmoil.
Those that I am glad to see, but who are often far away, or busy in other aspects of their own lives. Yet when we meet again it`s as though they had been around all along.
The final catagory are the friends who play with me frequently, are supportive, sympathetic, and offer great advice on my playing in a way that would never make me feel threatened or belittled.
Any thoughts?
# Posted on April 30th 2005 by wreckin` rea
Re: How friendly are your friends?
"Any thoughts?"
I think you've pretty well covered the territory already, not just as it applies to music, but for all other activities as well.
KFG
# Posted on April 30th 2005 by KFG
Re: How friendly are your friends?
Yeah I agree that you've covered the terrority...there are some at session who I talk to about my life, who know ME, not just my music or whistle playing...and others who I just play music with and know little about their personal lives.
# Posted on April 30th 2005 by Crysania
Re: How friendly are your friends?
So that's what having friends is like...
# Posted on April 30th 2005 by Phantom Button
Re: How friendly are your friends?
If you buy them a drink, they will follow you anywhere. (^:
# Posted on April 30th 2005 by CeolCairdeas
Re: How friendly are your friends?
It just came up in the conversation did it? Casually, like? Has he seen the film, does he know about Jack? Is he after me?
# Posted on April 30th 2005 by bodhran bliss
Re: How friendly are your friends?
I'm sitting here trying to think of any close friends who aren't musicians. Nope, can't think of any except family. I do have other friends, mostly workplace acquaintences, but all of my *close* friends are people I've jammed and gigged with for years.
Then there are lots of other musician friends I've known for many years but know almost nothing abot their personal lives.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by Bob himself
Re: How friendly are your friends?
Bliss!!! Be you paranoid or something? What? - is Jack after you to be his friend? Gweesh! I think he is still after that guy in the kilts hoping for an upward breeze or something.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by CeolCairdeas
Re: How friendly are your friends?
If you give my friends two drinks and offer them more, they will rape and pillage Europe for you!
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by CeolCairdeas
Re: How friendly are your friends?
That's nice to know! Last time I needed someone to rape and pillage Europe for me, I looked up Europe, Rape and Pillage in the Yellow Pages, and had to make nearly a dozen phone calls before I found someone who would do it for 2+ drinks.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by GaryAMartin
Re: How friendly are your friends?
Hmmm. If you wanted to, I suppose you could really turn the question into something fairly serious and all that...nah, let's just let The Glee Club loose. ;)
Thank goodness.
To answer the "question", though, like others earlier I have lots of acquaintances that fall in one or the other of your groups there, Rea. They don't have to be musicians for that. Running the risk of being rather mawkish about it, I think my real friends are few and very precious to me, and I believe that it takes so much effort and time to have real friends that it's almost impossible for me to have more than just the few.
Oddly, some of those true friends I got to know here. One of my best friends ever I 'met' here. I have a lot of good friends from here, though, we might not know all there is to know about each other, but we know enough to care about each other and to try and keep up with lives and offering help and support when needed. (This was really brought forward to me when my father died in March, and last year when he was in hospital.)
Guess proximity and familiarity aren't always necessary for someone to care and be a good friend.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: How friendly are your friends?
In my experience proximity does help. But then what do I know.
I met my current partner playing music. Apart from that, from good friends to people the company of whom I only tolerate because I pity their loneliness and wretchedness (more like a single person here), there are all kinds.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by derpayatz
Re: How friendly are your friends?
Sometines, beyond the shared interest in tunes, I have absolutely nothing in common with other session members - I really like most of them still and enjoy meeting them as people. But I'm glad my husband (who is otherwise so much like me) is not at all involved with Irish music as it gives my life a balance.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by Cath
Re: How friendly are your friends?
Some of the people I play with are good friends, some are pleasant acquaintences, a few I keep at arm's length. But in general, they are folks I get along with really well. Maybe it is because we share a common passion for music. They aren't quite as nurturing as the people I know from my church. But they are certainly more colorful than the friends I meet at work!....
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by AlBrown
Re: How friendly are your friends?
There is a mixture but most of my real freinds happen to be musicians.
# Posted on May 1st 2005 by Why Bother?