Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
got some ideas on this, but can´t decide whichone is my favourite:
... all my neighbours emmigrate to mars.
... all gps satellites send nothing else but "om"
... we start singing "imagine" and make love not war
... fiddles take over, manage their day to day live and get their recreational evening high by playing humans (and later put them back in the case and have them a rest till next day)
... the arctic ice melts and we learn to live under water (all sounds muted...)
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... I could get a fiddle teacher
... If more poeple played music where I live
... If my fellow teenagers could expand their musical tastes from pop, punk, and rap
... If I had a car so I could drive the multiple hours to a close by session
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
certain people, certain classes of people, certain nation states (and one in particular) and a certain species did not take more than their fair share of the world's resources.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Because we all wake up in the morning, you know, and think, gosh, I think I'll take up more than my fair share today. And whenever.
Most people just try to do the best they can to get by, each day. I think that probably includes any people, any class of people, any nation states (and any one in particular) and any species...
Can we do better? Of course we can. Thanks for the reminder, phonsie, but maybe a little less in people's faces?
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I'd agree with you, Zina, that most people do those things just as you say. But as for the others, they obviously need to be confronted with certain home truths "in their faces".
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I had 5 million dollars to put on the most brilliant trad festival of all time - it would be like woodstock but instead of Jimi we'd have 'Tommy' and instead of The Who, we'd have Dervish. And it would go on for 10 days and have all night venues - no closing time at all, and would be decked out for really, really comfortable sessions in bars with great accoustics- with perfect sounds and free beers of course (but only for musicians obviously - gotta keept he budget within 5 mill). sigh.......
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I can sort of see what phonsie is saying in a way - I dont think it is a personal attack is it?? When they signed the Kyoto (??) agreeement the US said they wouldnt lower gas emissions. Well Australia did one bette, not only did they say they wouldnt lower the emissions we said in fact that we were still not using enough and we needed to use even more. So slag of Australia for awhile Phosie if you like - I do it all the time.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Thank you, Zina, for being so gracious and to bb for the acknowledgment. Perhaps my initial submission was somewhat cack-handed insofar as it pointed the finger at “certain” people and countries etc. What I believe (and you probably won’t agree with me on this) is that the fault really lies with a “certain” belief system or ideology, viz., capitalism, that enshrines inequality and exploitation as a fundamental tenet. Of course the usual response to this is, “What’s the alternative?” Well one alternative could be based for starters on the ethical principle of equal pay for equal hours worked. I don’t see any moral or rational justification for a situation where in the same organisation you can have one individual sitting in a plush air-conditioned office being paid millions of euros or dollars to make “tough” decisions on the basis of one page memos fed to him (it’s usually a “him”) by subordinates, while another individual (usually female) gets paid a pittance for cleaning toilets. OK, that’s an extreme example, but, as delineated in the book Nickel and Dimed, it’s typical of the system that has triumphed over the “Evil Empire” of so-called communism. Anyway, that’s enough of the Egalitarian Manifesto for today. We had another mighty session at our regular venue last night: Two flutes, two fiddles a box and two bodhrans. Melody makers of the world unite!
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
the people of America protested the fraudulent election in the US like the people in the Ukrain are.
Phonsie, Zina, and bb... When people talk about the twisted US government policies they aren't talking about people that happen to live there. They're talking about the corporations that run the government, and I hope that anyone who is being fooled by it's leaders into voting for them will wake up if they happen to read it. I never take it personal when I see this sort of thing like what Phonsie said... I usually agree with it.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...all trad terrorists (ie. gobshites who commit unending, loathsome atrocities against their instruments and our ears) were recorded and made listen to themselves for all eternity...that'd mean that hell would have to have a soundproof room...better get on the hotline...
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Whoreinthenettles, I second that comment about goats wholeheartedly - as you might be aware from previous postings by me. Goats, poor divils, they've always been - well, scapegoated. Even that hackneyed expression derogatory of the caprine species, "separating the sheep from the goats", gets on my - well, goat. I prefer goats to sheep in that sheep are the archetypal mindless conformists. The Greeks had a goat god, Pan, but not a sheep god, as far as I know. And in Ireland we have a Puck Fair, but not a Ram Fair. Have we lost a lot of the ancient wisdom somewhere along the way? I see from your profile that you hail from a nettle farm in Tipperary. Well from someone who grew up on a daisy farm in the same county, greetings.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
....the drinking age(in U.S.) was lower
....kerry lost the all-ireland for the next 50 years
....george bush never came into existance
....johnny doran lived forever
i could go on and on with this one.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
dean, you don't believe in O'Bin Lardon, do you you now?
Your bio says your 38. It's about time to file him away with Father Christmas and the tooth fairy ...
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
......more people would learn to make the most of what they have, accept the world for what it is and get on with their short lives on this small rock. It is just a game after all.
......more people stood up for what they believe in , took affirmative action towards this goal and tried to make the world a better place (while remembering that it is just a game after all).
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Ottery, Are you trying to tell me Bin Laden senior " did " lose his balls in a farming accident, And Osama was never born, ooooooooooohhhhhhh shit that must have hurt !
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I'm intrigued as to what might constitute a ‘farming’ accident... And why are accidents on farms more likely to result in castration than say, an accident in a chip shop, or on an oil-rig, or indeed, in a crowded music session? Is it some particular (peculiar?) piece of farm machinery you have up there in Hull? Or is it just the way you swing your hoes?
Pray tell...
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
A lot of farming accidents tend to have serious consequence's such as the loss of part or whole of a limb, This isn't just unique to this region. And I have never heard of anyone losing a limb after an accident involving a battered haddock. I wasn't aware that Bin Laden senior had been farming in Hull either, You learn something new everyday.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Sounds good to me, you two! Especially since our fridge started leaking this morning and Pete discovered that the freezer was set too cold, so we've been chipping at ice all morning...er...what topic are we talking about here, accidents on farms or...?
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Of course, Bin Laden's Dad doesn't have a monopoly on agricultural accidents, there was that famous Irishman....
In the year 1800, a labourer dwelling near the town Of Athy, County Kikdare was walking with his comrade up the banks of the Barrow to the farm of a Mr. Richardson, on whose meadows they were employed to mow; each, in the usual Irish way, having his scythe loosely wagging over his shoulder, and lazily lounging close to the bank of the river, they espied a salmon partly hid under the bank. It is the nature of this fish that when his head is concealed, he fancies no one can see his tail - there are many wiseacres besides the salmon of the same way of thinking. On the present occasion the body of the fish was visible.
"O Ned, Ned, dear!" said one of the mowers, "look at that big fellow there. Isn't it a pity we ha'nt no spear?"
"Maybe," said Ned, "we could be after piking the lad with the scythe-handle."
"True for you!" said Dennis: "the spike of yeer handle is longer nor mine; give the fellow a dig with it at any rate."
"Ay, will I," returned the other: "I'll give the lad a prod he'll never forget anyhow."
The spike and their sport was all they thought of; but the blade of the scythe, which hung over Ned's shoulder, never came into the contemplation of either of them. Ned cautiously looked over the bank; the unconscious salmon lay snug, little imagining the conspiracy that had been formed against his tail.
Now hit the lad smart !" said Dennis : "there, now, there! rise your fist; now you have the boy! now, Ned - success !"
Ned struck at the salmon with all his might and main, and that was not trifling. But whether "the boy" was piked or not never appeared; for poor Ned, bending his neck as he struck at the salmon, placed the vertebrae in the most convenient position for unfurnishing his shoulders, and his head came tumbling splash into the Barrow, to the utter astonishment of his comrade, who could not conceive how it could drop off so suddenly. But the next minute he had the consolation of seeing the head attended by one of his own ears, which had been most dexterously sliced off by the same blow which beheaded his comrade.
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Well done Ottery, You have succeeded in making me feel good about Being ( Me ) Instead of being a sarcastic ( would be author ) with a head that is full of shite !
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Would that be the daisy farm where they had the trouble with the phantom daisy-streaker Phonsie?
Hope it wasn't you!
It said in the local paper a while back that a masked ( but otherwise b*llock naked ) male was seen streaking through the daisy fields shouting obscenities and throwing daisies at unsuspecting old ladies out for their Sunday stroll.
The gardai were informed but failed to aprehend the offending party after he escaped into the mountains with a wheelbarrow of daisies and a bag of miracle-gro.
Hope he doesn't come to my nettle farm, he'd be riddled after a run around in one of my fields!!
Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Just thought i'd see if anyone had any bright ideas. If musicians can't make the world a better place who can !
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by dean24
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... I was a better musician.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by BegF
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...they let me have a fidle in peace.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by aaron b
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... fiddlers and drummers could coexist in peace and harmony....
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Johnny Jay
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
got some ideas on this, but can´t decide whichone is my favourite:
... all my neighbours emmigrate to mars.
... all gps satellites send nothing else but "om"
... we start singing "imagine" and make love not war
... fiddles take over, manage their day to day live and get their recreational evening high by playing humans (and later put them back in the case and have them a rest till next day)
... the arctic ice melts and we learn to live under water (all sounds muted...)
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by crannog
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
even a small proportion of the money spent by the state of Florida on mosquito control were to be redirected to finding a malaria vaccinet
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by ...
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Jimmy Troy would finish painting my house!!!
(where have you been Jim?)
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Eoino
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
....beer was free
... people would all just be friendly with each other
...our president (Holland) wasn't such a dick
...Kerry was president
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Dark Raven
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
.... I had a better attitude.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...parents were nice to their kids.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Rudall the time
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...anyone caught playing the spoons had both their hands chopped off.
Ok a bit extreme and a bit rich coming from me.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Conán McDonnell
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
computers had never been invented
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Ottery
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...there was a session within 60 miles of me!
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by seisflutes
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I could stay here in Ennis.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Tony Blair got a different hair cut....
and the whole world peace etc
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Folkie Junkie
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... there were fewer sentences beginning "finish this sentence"
... there were fewer sentences beginning "there were fewer sentences beginning"
yeah... that's a computer science teacher for ya...
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Eliot
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
....it could swim.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by len
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... I could get a fiddle teacher
... If more poeple played music where I live
... If my fellow teenagers could expand their musical tastes from pop, punk, and rap
... If I had a car so I could drive the multiple hours to a close by session
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by mountainfiddler
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
....it hadn't been created?
No, that's too cynical.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... if I could scratch that spot in the middle of my back that's driving me crazy!!!!
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by ThelenRA
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Doorpost for you, ThelenRA!
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Zina Lee
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
certain people, certain classes of people, certain nation states (and one in particular) and a certain species did not take more than their fair share of the world's resources.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by An Goban Saor
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Because we all wake up in the morning, you know, and think, gosh, I think I'll take up more than my fair share today. And whenever.
Most people just try to do the best they can to get by, each day. I think that probably includes any people, any class of people, any nation states (and any one in particular) and any species...
Can we do better? Of course we can. Thanks for the reminder, phonsie, but maybe a little less in people's faces?
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by Zina Lee
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... more people realised how wonderful it already is.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by GraemeO
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
....I lived in Ireland.
# Posted on November 24th 2004 by BTCpz
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
If I lived in Ireland, the rest of the world would be a better place.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
if I could meet the woman of my dreams . . .
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Justintime
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
we could make sweet music together . . .
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Justintime
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
and play with each other all night . . .
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Justintime
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
hey eliot! i just started taking computer science! there are 10 types of people in this world:...okay, okay, i'll stop.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Bard
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I'd agree with you, Zina, that most people do those things just as you say. But as for the others, they obviously need to be confronted with certain home truths "in their faces".
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by An Goban Saor
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Fair play to you, phonsie.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Zina Lee
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...if I could breathe through my ears.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Tim_Fiddler
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
.......TheSession.org had it's own transporter (Star Trek style) so that we could all get together for a session whenever and wherever suited.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Donough
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I had 5 million dollars to put on the most brilliant trad festival of all time - it would be like woodstock but instead of Jimi we'd have 'Tommy' and instead of The Who, we'd have Dervish. And it would go on for 10 days and have all night venues - no closing time at all, and would be decked out for really, really comfortable sessions in bars with great accoustics- with perfect sounds and free beers of course (but only for musicians obviously - gotta keept he budget within 5 mill). sigh.......
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by bb
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I can sort of see what phonsie is saying in a way - I dont think it is a personal attack is it?? When they signed the Kyoto (??) agreeement the US said they wouldnt lower gas emissions. Well Australia did one bette, not only did they say they wouldnt lower the emissions we said in fact that we were still not using enough and we needed to use even more. So slag of Australia for awhile Phosie if you like - I do it all the time.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by bb
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
if there were no piano accordions!
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Roger O' Miller
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Thank you, Zina, for being so gracious and to bb for the acknowledgment. Perhaps my initial submission was somewhat cack-handed insofar as it pointed the finger at “certain” people and countries etc. What I believe (and you probably won’t agree with me on this) is that the fault really lies with a “certain” belief system or ideology, viz., capitalism, that enshrines inequality and exploitation as a fundamental tenet. Of course the usual response to this is, “What’s the alternative?” Well one alternative could be based for starters on the ethical principle of equal pay for equal hours worked. I don’t see any moral or rational justification for a situation where in the same organisation you can have one individual sitting in a plush air-conditioned office being paid millions of euros or dollars to make “tough” decisions on the basis of one page memos fed to him (it’s usually a “him”) by subordinates, while another individual (usually female) gets paid a pittance for cleaning toilets. OK, that’s an extreme example, but, as delineated in the book Nickel and Dimed, it’s typical of the system that has triumphed over the “Evil Empire” of so-called communism. Anyway, that’s enough of the Egalitarian Manifesto for today. We had another mighty session at our regular venue last night: Two flutes, two fiddles a box and two bodhrans. Melody makers of the world unite!
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by An Goban Saor
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... if ... we could all be a bit more thankful for the small gifts and a bit less prideful of the big ones.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by RogueFiddler
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
all landlords would hand out finger food and sandwiches and free pints to all sessioneers, always, no matter how long the session lasted..!
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Eoino
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
the people of America protested the fraudulent election in the US like the people in the Ukrain are.
Phonsie, Zina, and bb... When people talk about the twisted US government policies they aren't talking about people that happen to live there. They're talking about the corporations that run the government, and I hope that anyone who is being fooled by it's leaders into voting for them will wake up if they happen to read it. I never take it personal when I see this sort of thing like what Phonsie said... I usually agree with it.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Ukraine even
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Jack, are you still in Clare? Because I hear Kevin Burke is in the Killaloe area at the moment.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by An Goban Saor
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
all my classmates dropped down dead.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by snowyowl
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
That's OK. I see from your festival log thread that you're heading to Sligo.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by An Goban Saor
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Sorry, all my schoolmates dropped down dead (apart from about 10 I actually like)
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by snowyowl
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... mankind had evolved without index fingers.
Also, if kids read (and understand) the Tao te Ching and Siddhartha in school instead of Shakespeare.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
every trad cowboy went to Mars.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Celtic Hippy
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...goats were put on the endangered species list...
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by anniejryan
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...all trad terrorists (ie. gobshites who commit unending, loathsome atrocities against their instruments and our ears) were recorded and made listen to themselves for all eternity...that'd mean that hell would have to have a soundproof room...better get on the hotline...
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by anniejryan
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
. . . we brought back the horse and cart.
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by kris
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
evrybody played the djembi
# Posted on November 25th 2004 by Davetnova
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Whoreinthenettles, I second that comment about goats wholeheartedly - as you might be aware from previous postings by me. Goats, poor divils, they've always been - well, scapegoated. Even that hackneyed expression derogatory of the caprine species, "separating the sheep from the goats", gets on my - well, goat. I prefer goats to sheep in that sheep are the archetypal mindless conformists. The Greeks had a goat god, Pan, but not a sheep god, as far as I know. And in Ireland we have a Puck Fair, but not a Ram Fair. Have we lost a lot of the ancient wisdom somewhere along the way? I see from your profile that you hail from a nettle farm in Tipperary. Well from someone who grew up on a daisy farm in the same county, greetings.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by An Goban Saor
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
....the drinking age(in U.S.) was lower
....kerry lost the all-ireland for the next 50 years
....george bush never came into existance
....johnny doran lived forever
i could go on and on with this one.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by bmcclat
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Bribanjo - Let people decide for themselves.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
All people had the strength of character to be TOTALLY honest with themselves and take 100% responsibility for their every thought, word and deed.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Skigersta
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
...I worried less about what other people do and worried more about what I do.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Zina Lee
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
.......Osama bin Laden's dad lost his balls in a farming accident, ( Obviously before Osama was conceived ! )
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by dean24
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
dean, you don't believe in O'Bin Lardon, do you you now?
Your bio says your 38. It's about time to file him away with Father Christmas and the tooth fairy ...
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Ottery
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
......more people would learn to make the most of what they have, accept the world for what it is and get on with their short lives on this small rock. It is just a game after all.
......more people stood up for what they believe in , took affirmative action towards this goal and tried to make the world a better place (while remembering that it is just a game after all).
Pick one,
FMF
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by folkmasterflex
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Ottery, Are you trying to tell me Bin Laden senior " did " lose his balls in a farming accident, And Osama was never born, ooooooooooohhhhhhh shit that must have hurt !
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by dean24
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I'm intrigued as to what might constitute a ‘farming’ accident... And why are accidents on farms more likely to result in castration than say, an accident in a chip shop, or on an oil-rig, or indeed, in a crowded music session? Is it some particular (peculiar?) piece of farm machinery you have up there in Hull? Or is it just the way you swing your hoes?
Pray tell...
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Ottery
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
A lot of farming accidents tend to have serious consequence's such as the loss of part or whole of a limb, This isn't just unique to this region. And I have never heard of anyone losing a limb after an accident involving a battered haddock. I wasn't aware that Bin Laden senior had been farming in Hull either, You learn something new everyday.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by dean24
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Are testicles considered 'limbs' in Hull?
Well I never....
It opens a whole new world of possibilities.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Ottery
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
... Zina, Will and I were engaged in philosophical conversation relating to this topic over a hot cuppa tea on a sunny patio by the seaside.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
I'm there, Kerri. Just tell me which coastal town and I'll grab my sandals on the way out the door....
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Will Harmon
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Sounds good to me, you two! Especially since our fridge started leaking this morning and Pete discovered that the freezer was set too cold, so we've been chipping at ice all morning...er...what topic are we talking about here, accidents on farms or...?
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Zina Lee
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Of course, Bin Laden's Dad doesn't have a monopoly on agricultural accidents, there was that famous Irishman....
In the year 1800, a labourer dwelling near the town Of Athy, County Kikdare was walking with his comrade up the banks of the Barrow to the farm of a Mr. Richardson, on whose meadows they were employed to mow; each, in the usual Irish way, having his scythe loosely wagging over his shoulder, and lazily lounging close to the bank of the river, they espied a salmon partly hid under the bank. It is the nature of this fish that when his head is concealed, he fancies no one can see his tail - there are many wiseacres besides the salmon of the same way of thinking. On the present occasion the body of the fish was visible.
"O Ned, Ned, dear!" said one of the mowers, "look at that big fellow there. Isn't it a pity we ha'nt no spear?"
"Maybe," said Ned, "we could be after piking the lad with the scythe-handle."
"True for you!" said Dennis: "the spike of yeer handle is longer nor mine; give the fellow a dig with it at any rate."
"Ay, will I," returned the other: "I'll give the lad a prod he'll never forget anyhow."
The spike and their sport was all they thought of; but the blade of the scythe, which hung over Ned's shoulder, never came into the contemplation of either of them. Ned cautiously looked over the bank; the unconscious salmon lay snug, little imagining the conspiracy that had been formed against his tail.
Now hit the lad smart !" said Dennis : "there, now, there! rise your fist; now you have the boy! now, Ned - success !"
Ned struck at the salmon with all his might and main, and that was not trifling. But whether "the boy" was piked or not never appeared; for poor Ned, bending his neck as he struck at the salmon, placed the vertebrae in the most convenient position for unfurnishing his shoulders, and his head came tumbling splash into the Barrow, to the utter astonishment of his comrade, who could not conceive how it could drop off so suddenly. But the next minute he had the consolation of seeing the head attended by one of his own ears, which had been most dexterously sliced off by the same blow which beheaded his comrade.
# Posted on November 26th 2004 by Ottery
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Ewww
# Posted on November 27th 2004 by Skigersta
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Well done Ottery, You have succeeded in making me feel good about Being ( Me ) Instead of being a sarcastic ( would be author ) with a head that is full of shite !
# Posted on November 27th 2004 by dean24
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Glad to be of service
Mark
# Posted on November 27th 2004 by Ottery
Re: Finish this sentence - The world would be a better place if..........
Would that be the daisy farm where they had the trouble with the phantom daisy-streaker Phonsie?
Hope it wasn't you!
It said in the local paper a while back that a masked ( but otherwise b*llock naked ) male was seen streaking through the daisy fields shouting obscenities and throwing daisies at unsuspecting old ladies out for their Sunday stroll.
The gardai were informed but failed to aprehend the offending party after he escaped into the mountains with a wheelbarrow of daisies and a bag of miracle-gro.
Hope he doesn't come to my nettle farm, he'd be riddled after a run around in one of my fields!!
# Posted on November 27th 2004 by anniejryan