On listening to the RTE broadcast re Seamus Tansey (I thought he was outrageously arrogant, by the way), I was very taken with his comment about Sharon playing the basses "like milking the tits of a bull". You couldn't help but laugh at that.
So, on a lighthearted note, I thought it might be fun to hear some of the classic "put downs" and comments you've heard over the years. No names need be mentioned, if you feel that's inappropriate.
Classic is right, this is an old phrase, as many might know, and doesn't really fit well to any of the various ways I've seen folks deal with that side of the box, players or those sitting on that side of the player.
I remember one said of Jim Troy, oops, I've mentioned a name
- that if you filled him with tomato juice and turned him sideways he would make a poor thermometer...
- something like that... (NO! - I didn't say it, I'm quoting some other old fart...)
Here's one of my favourites.Mickey Rooney (a short guy for those not of a certain age),once said to a chorus girl at a Hollywood party,
"I'd like to make love to you"
she looked down at him and said,
"If you do and I find out about it,there will be trouble"
Ah, but Sally - that remark is usually said to harpists. Being one, I can tell you that in most cases (orchestras especially) you get no reward for tuning. People can't hear you most of the time anyhow...
There was a bodhran player from Oz (originally from Ireland) who lived here for a spell that I used to think sounded like a helicoptor hovering over the session.
There was a bodhran player from Oz....
Jack that has to be the start of a Limerick. Think how disappointed I was when the rest of your posting didn't rhyme.☺
There was a bodhran player from Oz
who with his drum broke many rhythmical laws
In the middle of playing a tune I stopped'er
because I thought I heard a low flying helicopter
but he continued to play and didn't even pause
Like Jack's one to dismiss rhythmical flaws!
When his own is itself a lost cause.
And also in doubt
(I'd have to point out)
Is whether 'Oz' even rhymes with 'laws'.
No Jack, Oz is pronounced "Oz", not "Ahzzz". It's the "o" in "wok", not the o in "woke" or the a in "walk". Just remember who invented the language you're speaking. That's why we call it "English"?
Dow, your explanation doesn't jive with your original criticism. If the "o" in "wok" sounds like "walk" -- then it's pronounced "ah" just like "law" which is the word I rhymed with "Oz". You are the one who claimed the "O' in "Oz" didn't rhyme with "law". Unless you have some strange new way of pronouncing the word “law” your argument is seriously flawed and I refuse to discuss this with you any further.
My explanation makes perfect sense to me, Jack. Because I never said the o in wok sounds like the a in walk.
Because it just doesn't!
I maintain that the o in Oz rhymes with neither the o in woke nor the a in walk, as all 3 are different vowels
In fact, I can't even think of a word that Oz rhymes with. At least not off the top of my head.
It's okay I don't mind if you want to stomp off in a huff and not discuss it with me. It's simply that you don't know how to pronounce English properly, so I'm just saying, that's why your limericks suck
I collect put-downs. Here are two of the best: If my dog had, a face like yours, I'd shave it's ar*e and teach it to walk backwards. And: she has a face like that of a dog p*ssing on a stinging nettle.
playing a wedding reception in hampton once, a flute player came up for a few tunes and said : ''it's a great crack . . . ah there's nothing like the crack . . . especially on the periphery of the crack''
My goodness me.
I put a simple one liner into this discussion and look what I started between Jack and Dow. Unfortunately I was busy working and only just got back to reading their high-brow discussion of the English language.
Hi-jacking threads is a fascinating hobby especially when they have run their distance already. I haven't had much success at that in the past.
Anyway this got me thinking what does rhyme with Oz. I think you might have to look for a Spanish word ending in that -oz sound, but then they sometimes pronounce the z like a 'th' sound.
Donough, the only word I can think of that rhymes with "Oz" is my pronunciation of "was", but only if it's stressed in a sentence, as in "but I WAS, I tell you!", but not as in "I was watching the telly when the power cut happened".
What about 'Vase' - Said with a very upperclass English accent. It's not quite right but close. I actually went (obsessive) into two rhyming online dictionaries and could really not find a better match apart from your 'WAS'. Not even in another language.
SO now we have:
There was a bodhran player from Oz
who..............................vase
In the middle of playing
.........................-ing
............................was
When the words are complete we can write a tune to it!! - musical content.
Donough I think "vase" is just about as bad as "laws" I reckon Murf has it with "because", but only when the final syllable is stressed, as in "Why did you do it?... just beCAUSE okay!?", and not as in "I did it because I was bored". I'm sure that must be the only other 2 words that rhyme with "Oz" in proper English.
There was a bodhran player from Oz,
A really shite player he was.
I said "Why do you play...
Your reels 'n' jigs the same way?!"
And looked at me and said "just beCAUSE!"
That rhymes in my accent, but I bet it wouldn't with Jack's Hollywoodesque vowels.
Just out of interest, is anyone here from New York or Boston? If so pls tell me if the above limerick rhymes for you. Joyce, where are you when I need you?
Dow
That's a wrap. Well done and I think Jack should make an mp3 recording of him reciting this! I do agree that 'vase' was stretching it almost as badly as laws.
Hey BTW on a completely irrelevant matter I'm playing with a few of the local Comhaltas musicians as a guest opening spot for the Chieftains next month here in Perth.
There was a namedropper from Perth
Who overestimated his worth
In the writing of Limericks
He searched for a quick fix
But fell flat on his face in the earth
"Like milking the tits of a bull"
"Like milking the tits of a bull"
On listening to the RTE broadcast re Seamus Tansey (I thought he was outrageously arrogant, by the way), I was very taken with his comment about Sharon playing the basses "like milking the tits of a bull". You couldn't help but laugh at that.
So, on a lighthearted note, I thought it might be fun to hear some of the classic "put downs" and comments you've heard over the years. No names need be mentioned, if you feel that's inappropriate.
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by Johnny Jay
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Noisy punter trying to join in the session by making noises, vocal or otherwise : "You wanna play in the band, you come to f***ing rehearsals!"
Jim
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by Worldfiddler
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Classic is right, this is an old phrase, as many might know, and doesn't really fit well to any of the various ways I've seen folks deal with that side of the box, players or those sitting on that side of the player.
I remember one said of Jim Troy, oops, I've mentioned a name
- that if you filled him with tomato juice and turned him sideways he would make a poor thermometer...
- something like that... (NO! - I didn't say it, I'm quoting some other old fart...)
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by ceolachan
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
I got it wrong James, he'd said - "wouldn't he make a fine thermometer."
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by ceolachan
You don't get it Jim? Have you put on weight?
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by ceolachan
One does tend to get shorter and rounder with age...
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by ceolachan
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
I've also heard someone say it you were stood on your head you'd be mistook for a pogo stick...
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by ceolachan
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Here's one of my favourites.Mickey Rooney (a short guy for those not of a certain age),once said to a chorus girl at a Hollywood party,
"I'd like to make love to you"
she looked down at him and said,
"If you do and I find out about it,there will be trouble"
# Posted on March 1st 2003 by dafydd
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Didn't some lady say to Churchill, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea." To which he replied, "Madam, if you were my wife -- I'd drink it."
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
My favourite drummer put down: "That guy sounds like he's buildin a shed."
# Posted on October 23rd 2004 by kris
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Fiddlers spend half their life tuning and the other half playing out of tune.
# Posted on October 24th 2004 by Happy Sally
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Oh, ain't you cruel, Sally!
Jim
# Posted on October 24th 2004 by Worldfiddler
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Ah, but Sally - that remark is usually said to harpists. Being one, I can tell you that in most cases (orchestras especially) you get no reward for tuning. People can't hear you most of the time anyhow...
But we do spend half our life tuning.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by violynnsey
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
There was a bodhran player from Oz (originally from Ireland) who lived here for a spell that I used to think sounded like a helicoptor hovering over the session.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
There was a bodhran player from Oz....
Jack that has to be the start of a Limerick. Think how disappointed I was when the rest of your posting didn't rhyme.☺
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Donough
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
There was a bodhran player from Oz
who with his drum broke many rhythmical laws
In the middle of playing a tune I stopped'er
because I thought I heard a low flying helicopter
but he continued to play and didn't even pause
I tried :-\
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Like Jack's one to dismiss rhythmical flaws!
When his own is itself a lost cause.
And also in doubt
(I'd have to point out)
Is whether 'Oz' even rhymes with 'laws'.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
But it does. How do you pronounce Oz?
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Like an "o" sound, and then a "zzz" sound after it
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
It's pronounced ah-zzz, not oh-zzz. No wonder you play the Brit-box.
hahaha
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
It's nice to know Jack's ah-zzz is down under ...
As opposed to the hole in the oh-zzz-one layer
Ouch
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Donough
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
No Jack, Oz is pronounced "Oz", not "Ahzzz". It's the "o" in "wok", not the o in "woke" or the a in "walk". Just remember who invented the language you're speaking. That's why we call it "English"?
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
There was a bodhran player whacking away one night. The flute player yelled "Come in!"
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Dow, your explanation doesn't jive with your original criticism. If the "o" in "wok" sounds like "walk" -- then it's pronounced "ah" just like "law" which is the word I rhymed with "Oz". You are the one who claimed the "O' in "Oz" didn't rhyme with "law". Unless you have some strange new way of pronouncing the word “law” your argument is seriously flawed and I refuse to discuss this with you any further.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
My explanation makes perfect sense to me, Jack. Because I never said the o in wok sounds like the a in walk.
Because it just doesn't!
I maintain that the o in Oz rhymes with neither the o in woke nor the a in walk, as all 3 are different vowels
In fact, I can't even think of a word that Oz rhymes with. At least not off the top of my head.
It's okay I don't mind if you want to stomp off in a huff and not discuss it with me. It's simply that you don't know how to pronounce English properly, so I'm just saying, that's why your limericks suck
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
It's okay though - you're an anglo player so my expectations of you are low
Hahahahaha
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
(rolling eyes)
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Y'know Jack, I don't even know who is the worse hijacker anymore - me or you. I reckon we should blame this one on Donough!
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Good idea, I guess this means Donough will be getting email from Jeremy then.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Thank you David... Oz rhymes with laws.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
I collect put-downs. Here are two of the best: If my dog had, a face like yours, I'd shave it's ar*e and teach it to walk backwards. And: she has a face like that of a dog p*ssing on a stinging nettle.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by jimbob
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Oz, Cause, pause, draws, claws, paws, thaws, and laws.
# Posted on October 25th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
playing a wedding reception in hampton once, a flute player came up for a few tunes and said : ''it's a great crack . . . ah there's nothing like the crack . . . especially on the periphery of the crack''
which knocked me completely sideways at the time
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by lisaniska
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
My goodness me.
I put a simple one liner into this discussion and look what I started between Jack and Dow. Unfortunately I was busy working and only just got back to reading their high-brow discussion of the English language.
Hi-jacking threads is a fascinating hobby especially when they have run their distance already. I haven't had much success at that in the past.
Anyway this got me thinking what does rhyme with Oz. I think you might have to look for a Spanish word ending in that -oz sound, but then they sometimes pronounce the z like a 'th' sound.
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Donough
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Do bulls have milk?
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Donough, the only word I can think of that rhymes with "Oz" is my pronunciation of "was", but only if it's stressed in a sentence, as in "but I WAS, I tell you!", but not as in "I was watching the telly when the power cut happened".
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
What about 'Vase' - Said with a very upperclass English accent. It's not quite right but close. I actually went (obsessive) into two rhyming online dictionaries and could really not find a better match apart from your 'WAS'. Not even in another language.
SO now we have:
There was a bodhran player from Oz
who..............................vase
In the middle of playing
.........................-ing
............................was
When the words are complete we can write a tune to it!! - musical content.
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Donough
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
What about the second syllable of the word "because" without pronouncing the "c"
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by murfbox
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
If you don't want to upset them too much, just say they played it "differently".
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by geoffwright
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Donough I think "vase" is just about as bad as "laws"
I reckon Murf has it with "because", but only when the final syllable is stressed, as in "Why did you do it?... just beCAUSE okay!?", and not as in "I did it because I was bored". I'm sure that must be the only other 2 words that rhyme with "Oz" in proper 
English.
There was a bodhran player from Oz,
A really shite player he was.
I said "Why do you play...
Your reels 'n' jigs the same way?!"
And looked at me and said "just beCAUSE!"
That rhymes in my accent, but I bet it wouldn't with Jack's Hollywoodesque vowels.
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Just out of interest, is anyone here from New York or Boston? If so pls tell me if the above limerick rhymes for you. Joyce, where are you when I need you?
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
I mean "if Jack's limerick rhymes for you" (mine won't).
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Dow
That's a wrap. Well done and I think Jack should make an mp3 recording of him reciting this! I do agree that 'vase' was stretching it almost as badly as laws.
Hey BTW on a completely irrelevant matter I'm playing with a few of the local Comhaltas musicians as a guest opening spot for the Chieftains next month here in Perth.
There was a namedropper from Perth
Who overestimated his worth
In the writing of Limericks
He searched for a quick fix
But fell flat on his face in the earth
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Donough
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Hahahaha!
Good on ya for the gig!
# Posted on October 26th 2004 by Dr. Dow
Re: "Like milking the tits of a bull"
Does Perth rhyme with worth?
# Posted on November 5th 2004 by strakajoe