Provided they are dropped at the same instant and neither hits the side nor each other on the way down, and ignoring what will be very slight differences in air resistance for two objects of such considerable mass, they will hit the bottom at the same time. Hope this helps.
Hobo Joe.....Gulp, Gulp, looks at his trusty thermos bottle and says, "The most amazing thing ever invented is this here thermos bottle. Here now, take it and have yourself a slug ol pal."
Box Car Willy......Takes a big gulp, hands it back and says, "Quite interesting Joe, but why is it the most amazing thing ever invented?"
Hobo Joe......Has another big gulp and says," Well it's like this Willy, it keeps things hot and it keeps things cold."
Box Car Willy......."Oh Joe that's just silly, what's so amazing about that?"
Hobo Joe.......Gazing fondly at his thermos bottle he replies, "How on earth does it know?"
Here's an experiment. Take one shaky egg, one bodhran, one piano accordion and one pair of bones. Muster enough people to be able to drop them down a very deep well at the same instant. Do the drop and walk away slowly. Go to pub for pint. Repeat as often as required. End of experiment.
The Mother Superior was at her death bed, after a long life of service.
The other sisters, seeing that she was in some discomfort, offered her a glass of warm milk. She accepted gratefully.
While the sisters were warming the milk, one of them says,
"You know, it might do the Mother Superior some comfort if we were to add a dram of whiskey, it might help relax her."
Cradle to grave, the Mother had never touched a drop. However, her comfort was their chief concern, so the other sisters agreed, and added a couple shots of the stuff.
They brought it to her, and she sipped away at it till it was all gone, She then asked for anotjher.
As her moment of passing drew closer, the sisters gathered close about her and said,
"Mother Superior, we shall soon be without your presence to gide us. Can you give us any words of wisdom before you go to meet your Maker?"
She smiled at them and said,
"Yes.
Don't ever sell that cow."
Hear about the bloke who desperately wanted to get rid of his banjo? He left it on the back seat of his car overnight with the doors unlocked and all the windows down.
A news photographer went to take pictures of a raging forest fire but the smoke was too thick to get any pictures.
He called the editor who arranged for a plane to be ready at a nearby airport so he could take some photos from the air.
He rushed to the airport where he saw a plane running and waiting all ready to go. He jumped in and said to the pilot, Hurry up now let's get going.
Once in the air he spotted the smoke and flames and said to the pilot, now fly in low over the fire and make three or four passes.
The pilot asks him why?
The annoyed photographer says, so I can take some photos of course, remember? I'm a news photographer?
After a long pause, the pilot says, You mean your not the flight instructor?
What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra? The bull has the horns in front and the a--hole in back.
___________________
The phone rings in the front office of a symphony orchestra and the receptionist picks it up. The voice on the other end says "May I please speak to the conductor?" "I'm sorry" she says, but the conductor died this past week." The caller hangs up.
Five minutes later the phone rings again. "May I please speak to the conductor?" the caller again asks. "Sir, I'm sorry, but the conductor died this past week." The caller again hangs up.
Five minutes later the phone rings again. "May I please speak to the conductor?" "Sir, i've told you twice now that the conductor died last week."
"I know," the caller says. "I just get so much pleasure hearing you say it."
I just got off the phone with a friend living in the Highlands. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping to 20 below and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.
Years ago during the Troubles, a tough-looking man walks into a bar on Shankill Road and places a large box on the bar. "I need to leave this here for a few hours."
When the bartender starts to object, the man lifts his belt to show a pistol and the bartender shuts up.
Hours pass, the bartender and patrons becoming steadily mroe nervous. Finally the rough man returns, grabs the box, and heads out the door.
"Ehmm," says the bartender, "what was in the box?"
"Five pounds of Semtex, three detonator caps, four sticks of dynamite and three grenades," says the man.
"WHEW!" goes the bartender, (and everyone in the bar) "We was worried there-- thought that might've been a piano accordion."
Kathy Lissaeur had a couple of good ones this evening;
"I tried to call the National Swine Flu Emergency number, but all I got was crackling."
"There's a rumour going round that you can get Swine Flu from these tins of pork, but it's only a vicious rumour. It's just spam."
a joke
a joke
If you drop a banjo and a piano accordion down a well which gets to the bottom the quickest.
answer, who cares
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Joseph Tailyour
Re: a joke
Provided they are dropped at the same instant and neither hits the side nor each other on the way down, and ignoring what will be very slight differences in air resistance for two objects of such considerable mass, they will hit the bottom at the same time. Hope this helps.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Steve Shaw
Re: a joke
So, it IS a happy ending anyway, then?
What about shakey eggs vs. spoons?
Bodhrans vs.
...
oh, anything?
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Piece
Re: a joke
Wait a second. I play the shaky egg. Is this one of those sites that has it in for my beloved shaky egg?
To heck with all of you.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Jimmy B
Re: a joke
Hobo Joe.....Gulp, Gulp, looks at his trusty thermos bottle and says, "The most amazing thing ever invented is this here thermos bottle. Here now, take it and have yourself a slug ol pal."
Box Car Willy......Takes a big gulp, hands it back and says, "Quite interesting Joe, but why is it the most amazing thing ever invented?"
Hobo Joe......Has another big gulp and says," Well it's like this Willy, it keeps things hot and it keeps things cold."
Box Car Willy......."Oh Joe that's just silly, what's so amazing about that?"
Hobo Joe.......Gazing fondly at his thermos bottle he replies, "How on earth does it know?"
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Gone to work
Re: a joke
Here's an experiment. Take one shaky egg, one bodhran, one piano accordion and one pair of bones. Muster enough people to be able to drop them down a very deep well at the same instant. Do the drop and walk away slowly. Go to pub for pint. Repeat as often as required. End of experiment.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Steve Shaw
Re: a joke
What's the difference between and accordion and a sausage?
An accordion has slice marks.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by John Culhane
Re: a joke
What's the difference between a five-string banjo and a hand grenade?
There's no difference. By the time you've heard either, it's too late.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Steve Shaw
Re: a joke
Hell, you’ve all heard this one--a variation on what Steve Shaw just put out there--but here goes:
What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”
When you pitch a banjo and an accordion into a well and neither hits the sides on the way to the bottom.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by NEW Pure Drop® Ear Canal Oil
Re: a joke
What's the difference between a banjo and a vacuum cleaner?
The vacuum cleaner only sucks when you plug it in.......
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Gone to work
Re: a joke
What's the definition of a gentleman piper?
Someone who knows how to play the pipes but chooses not to......
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Gone to work
Re: a joke
Insert your preferred instrument (if you'll pardon the expression).
http://www.segall.com/viola.html
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by gam
Re: a joke
The Mother Superior was at her death bed, after a long life of service.
The other sisters, seeing that she was in some discomfort, offered her a glass of warm milk. She accepted gratefully.
While the sisters were warming the milk, one of them says,
"You know, it might do the Mother Superior some comfort if we were to add a dram of whiskey, it might help relax her."
Cradle to grave, the Mother had never touched a drop. However, her comfort was their chief concern, so the other sisters agreed, and added a couple shots of the stuff.
They brought it to her, and she sipped away at it till it was all gone, She then asked for anotjher.
As her moment of passing drew closer, the sisters gathered close about her and said,
"Mother Superior, we shall soon be without your presence to gide us. Can you give us any words of wisdom before you go to meet your Maker?"
She smiled at them and said,
"Yes.
Don't ever sell that cow."
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Piece
Re: a joke
my current favourite...
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
Iron Man is a super hero and the other is an instruction...
ho ho.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by john knoss
Re: a joke
What is the range of a set of Great Highlands?
Abuot fifteen meters, with a good arm.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Piece
Re: a joke
Q: What is the difference between a bottle of wig glue (e.g. the highly recomended SyrupStik) and a hot water bottle collection?
A: D mixolydian
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by yhaalhouse
Re: a joke
I've met the world accordion champion the other day....
he threw it at25 meters....
a winter one : wht's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman ?
snowballs,,,
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Nikita Pfister
Re: a joke
Jeez, john, I don't care what you say, I'm nicking that one!
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Steve Shaw
Re: a joke
Hear about the bloke who desperately wanted to get rid of his banjo? He left it on the back seat of his car overnight with the doors unlocked and all the windows down.
Next morning there were two banjos.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Steve Shaw
Re: a joke
What do a prisoner and a guitar player have in common?
They're both behind bars and can't find the key.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Cian O Gallchobhair
Re: a joke
How do you know a guitar player is at your door?
They don't know when to come in and can't find the key.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: a joke
You're playing music with your mates, and your friend the guitarist knocks at the door. What do you do?
Pay him for the pizza, and don't forget to tip.
What's the difference between a large pizza and a professional musician?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: a joke
How do you know when the stage is level?
Bodhran player is dribbling from both sides of his mouth.
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by bogman
Re: a joke
What do you call uilleann pipes made entirely from sausage?
Paddy Boloney
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by MacCruiskeen
Re: a joke
Whoops, that should read '... an uilleann piper ...'!
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by MacCruiskeen
Re: a joke
slow news day
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by zippydw
Re: a joke
A news photographer went to take pictures of a raging forest fire but the smoke was too thick to get any pictures.
He called the editor who arranged for a plane to be ready at a nearby airport so he could take some photos from the air.
He rushed to the airport where he saw a plane running and waiting all ready to go. He jumped in and said to the pilot, Hurry up now let's get going.
Once in the air he spotted the smoke and flames and said to the pilot, now fly in low over the fire and make three or four passes.
The pilot asks him why?
The annoyed photographer says, so I can take some photos of course, remember? I'm a news photographer?
After a long pause, the pilot says, You mean your not the flight instructor?
# Posted on January 6th 2011 by Gone to work
Re: a joke
If a banjo was playing in the woods and nobody was there to hear it, It would still be sh*t.
# Posted on January 7th 2011 by John McCartin
Re: a joke
Just so long as we a rehashing old jokes:
What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
One plays three chords to thousands of people ...
# Posted on January 7th 2011 by ...
Re: a joke
What's the difference between a bull and a symphony orchestra? The bull has the horns in front and the a--hole in back.
___________________
The phone rings in the front office of a symphony orchestra and the receptionist picks it up. The voice on the other end says "May I please speak to the conductor?" "I'm sorry" she says, but the conductor died this past week." The caller hangs up.
Five minutes later the phone rings again. "May I please speak to the conductor?" the caller again asks. "Sir, I'm sorry, but the conductor died this past week." The caller again hangs up.
Five minutes later the phone rings again. "May I please speak to the conductor?" "Sir, i've told you twice now that the conductor died last week."
"I know," the caller says. "I just get so much pleasure hearing you say it."
# Posted on January 7th 2011 by wormdiet
Re: a joke
I just got off the phone with a friend living in the Highlands. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping to 20 below and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.
# Posted on January 7th 2011 by StringTheory
Re: a joke
"Put ' coat on love, I'm of t' pub."
"Oh that's nice. You never invite me t' pub."
"I'm not. I'm turnin' 'heating off."
# Posted on January 7th 2011 by ...
Re: a joke
Years ago during the Troubles, a tough-looking man walks into a bar on Shankill Road and places a large box on the bar. "I need to leave this here for a few hours."
When the bartender starts to object, the man lifts his belt to show a pistol and the bartender shuts up.
Hours pass, the bartender and patrons becoming steadily mroe nervous. Finally the rough man returns, grabs the box, and heads out the door.
"Ehmm," says the bartender, "what was in the box?"
"Five pounds of Semtex, three detonator caps, four sticks of dynamite and three grenades," says the man.
"WHEW!" goes the bartender, (and everyone in the bar) "We was worried there-- thought that might've been a piano accordion."
# Posted on January 7th 2011 by chris stolz
Re: a joke
What's the difference between an accordion and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off before jumping on a trampoline.
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by fiddlerdan
Re: a joke
Why do highland pipers march when they play?
They're trying to get away from that awful sound.
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by ScotFiddler
Re: a joke
Funny, I was always taught it was to get away from the drummers :0)
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by bogman
Re: a joke
....... but then again I'm biased, you could be right on reflection.
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by bogman
Re: a joke
Wasn't it because it's harder to hit a moving target?
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by Prof. Prlwytzkofski
Re: a joke
probably all these reasons are true!
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by bogman
Re: a joke
Why do dogs howl when harmonica players play?
They're trying to tell them how the tune goes.
# Posted on January 8th 2011 by Steve Shaw
Re: a joke
Kathy Lissaeur had a couple of good ones this evening;
"I tried to call the National Swine Flu Emergency number, but all I got was crackling."
"There's a rumour going round that you can get Swine Flu from these tins of pork, but it's only a vicious rumour. It's just spam."
# Posted on January 15th 2011 by Guernsey Pete
Re: a joke
http://www.thesession.org/tunes/#requests
# Posted on January 26th 2012 by ain't fluffed