Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
So it happened like this. I play at a local session and often we have musicians passing thorugh and joining us which is good fun. But for the past two sessions we have been taken over by other musicians, one in particular who plays shuffle rhythm to everything. I mean every thing. And loud too. Never dipped out on a tune. Led a few and did several songs of the bawdy pseudo Irish tradition. Wild Rover. Tell me Ma. All sort of shouted not sung. I gave up leading off tunes because I could not hear myself play, or even think. Couldn't bear trying to keep time against the shuffle. Thing is the punters just loved it. And suddenly I felt like I was fooling myself all along and what I did was useless and... done a good deal of beating myself up. But it has now been two weeks and I haven't picked up the fiddle or listened to a tune. Just can't bear the thought. Am I the only one to go through such a crisis? How do I climb out?
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
What's wrong with "Tell me Ma" ? It's alot of fun. Just chill ... s hit happens ... then you can get back to where you wanted to be. If the session doesn't survive it may be time for a change. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing, in the long term.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Don't let anyone take away your love of the music... you can't control the clueless ejits who ruin sessions... they will eventually lose interest and you and your love of the music will still be there after they've gone. One way to deal with it is to stop playing, and if asked, just mention that what he's doing is putting you off. If there are others who feel like you they might follow suit. Eventually the eejit will be left with his own incompetence and get bored... you will still be there to pick up where you left off after he goes away. Good luck.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
"One way to deal with it is to stop playing, and if asked, just mention that what he's doing is putting you off."
Been there, done that. Alas, it's been my experience that putting one's instrument down in the middle of the tune that one leads is the sort of thing that doesn't go unnoticed, or misconstrued, by anyone BESIDES the offending party.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Happened to me twice at the same session - piano accordionist arrives about 45 minutes after everyone else, strides into middle of the session and just takes over. Twice in one evening he started up over something I had just begun.
The second evening, he sat down almost next to me and did the same thing - so I gave up on the mandolin and started playing the bodhran very loud and very badly. O.K. I wouldn't normally resort to such tactics but there's a time and place for everything...
The amazing thing, neither he nor anyone else seemed to notice, either what he was doing (perhaps they're used to it) - or my retribution... :-z Maybe they just couldn't hear over the four other accordions. I came away pretty annoyed - but it's not worth getting down about it... the gumboots always did trample on the more sensitive types in this world...
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
hey i feel your pain. you'll always get idiots like that... hopefully they don't persist in ruining ur session otherwise u may need to have a wee word.. seriously though, something like that shouldn't put you off playing trad! no way! pick up that fiddle now
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
"The second evening, he sat down almost next to me and did the same thing - so I gave up on the mandolin and started playing the bodhran very loud and very badly."
Bloody hell, Ian, I think you're finally getting it.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
redh, I've definitely been through that. It isn't you, it's them. For some people, the advice - to just stick it out and endure the session, with or without appropriate tactics, until they just go - will work. It wouldnt have wporked for me, and I have, at different times, ended up doing what you're doing. Looking back now, I wish that what I'd done instead was, yes, avoid the session, but use that time to work on my own stuff, learn a different instrument, anything other than what I did, which was, for a while, just to give up.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
My session mates are divided. Some think anything goes. Some are highly p+++ed off. I think what really got to me is that it just sounded like a wall of noise. Not a hint of music. Noise. That is what has sent me into a decline.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
If it's a "wall of noise" go to the bar... your friends might join you there... then from that vantage point you can watch the wall crumble and fall as you quietly sip your pints... after it's been cleaned up and removed you can return to the session.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I haven't had the same experienced that was described, but won't pick of the instrument either if I am put off, by anything. I have to be in a good mood to play.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
It's simple, we kill the Batman.
Well no, unfortunately we can't commit homicide on clueless strummers screaming crap.
This is really maddening however. Every eejit with six strings and a Clancy Bros. song should read that original post and perhaps (yeah right) understand how they harm the music and musicians.
redh, I don't know who is in charge of your session but it sounds like someone very weak, or perhaps there's no leader at all.
Whatever you do, please DO NOT stop playing or feel badly.
I mean, for the love of. "...fooling myself...useless...beating myself up..."
Yeah, that's right, it's just us prima donna melody players being fussy and elitist with our complaints about awful strummers.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
We've dealt with similar issues a number of times over the 12 or so years our local session has been running. Sometimes the problem is temporary and the player is soon gone. Sometimes it's chronic and we've had to address it directly to protect the
I think this redh's situation is a good example of why the participants in a session need to be clear about what their session is. Are you there to enjoy the nuances of these fine old tunes and the sense of community that comes with playing them *together,* close-knit? Or are you there to get a rise out of the punters, sell beer for the publican, and make some noise among friends?
In my experience, as soon as someone starts catering to the crowd--entertaining them--you've lost the focus of the music, and the session becomes a performance, a show. If that's what the session regulars (musicians) want it to be, fine. But if they'd rather play tunes for the sake of playing tunes, then you have to rein in the showboats.
There's little point stewing about this in private. Talk with your session mates. Find out how they feel about the situation, and then act accordingly. Chances are, you'll face two options: (a) explain the problem to the new player who has brought no joy and describe how he can modify his behavior to better fit in, or (b) go find yourself another session more to your liking.
Either way, the longer you let this go on without trying to resolve it, the unhappier you'll become. Sure, there's the off chance that the guy will leave of his own accord and the session will revert to what it was. But sooner or later someone else will come along and create the same dilemma.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I find that people like that are usually "one off" sessioners. They've
worked up their 5 or 6 tunes; they show up for their birthday with
six friends and relatives and you never see them again, or maybe
a year later.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Yes. I won't go into a lot of detail other than to say that some peoples' insensitivity and egoism can be infuriating.
Best thing for it: take the half of the session that's hacked off at your strummy., shouty interloper, and form your own session at a venue of your choosing. and to hellfire everlasting with that other scene.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
The people I've seen that do this aren't trying to turn the session into a staged production for an audience or anything absurd like that; they just want to be part of it and are clueless about what's going on, insensitive and mannerless. The first approach is, as I pointed out, to just stop and let it boil down to just them so they'll lose interest and go away, or possibly realize they have gone roughshod over the session. If they keep coming back and doing the same thing someone might want to pull them aside and try explaining, but these people are by their nature unlikely to remain interested long. If they are, they might get a clue eventually, but they will need to be offered a few clues along the way.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Jack, the OP says, "The thing is, the punters loved it."
That reaction can lead to pandering. It certainly happens. I've seen it happen more times than I can count, at sessions in many different places. And it can make dealing with the perpetrator difficult, because maybe some players in the circle enjoy the positive attention from the punters. And soon the circle is playing for that rise, instead of just for the sake of playing the tunes.
Yes, it's certainly "absurd." But not because this scenario is unlikely. It crops up to ruin many a good session.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
It is obvious from the above posts that you are not alone. As to how you climb out, you need to break the association between your fiddle and that bad feeling. Do you play any slow airs? Any nice mournful laments? Pick your fiddle up and shut your eyes and get it all out of your system. Easy on the pipes, a bit harder on the fiddle. Your fiddle is your friend, not an accomplice in the crime.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Just because the punters love it doesn't mean that's why he's doing it, Will. The punters love all sorts of things, they would love it if some babe danced topless on the session table. The point is that it was disrupting the session and one needs to just withdraw from supporting it by ceasing to play and going to the bar until the person gets tired and stops. That will separate the problem from the people that were there to have a session. This is a risk you take when you perform tunes in public... the public might decide they want a piece of it. When they try to grab a piece... just stop. We've done this to great effect at our local.
There was a group of Paddys once on holiday who decided they wanted our session to be their personal ballad session... they forced their way in and we stopped playing. They sang a few tunes and the punters loved it, but then the punters began to wonder why we weren't playing anymore. After a while there was no support from us or the punters, and the barmaid stepped in and asked them to stop. They ended up leaving, but not before getting into a fist fight out front with some bloke walking by. The punters loved that as well.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I've really appreciated the support and some good ideas for how I deal with my feelings. Gam, I am going to give my favourite slow air (twisting the hayrope) a go, because I think my lack of wanting to pick up the fiddle and the mournfulness of the tune might just do the trick and cancel each other out. For now it is late at night and I have shared a bottle of very pleasant pinot noir so picking up the fiddle is definitely not on. tomorrow is a new day. Right?
Thanks for the ideas
Cheers
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Why not take the childish approach, get yourself a tin whistle and play along with him and right beside him (I am presuming you don't play the whistle)...
or the mature approach and tell him that his loud playing is off putting for you and others, and would he mind toning it down a little...
failing that ask him how often he washes himself......
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I agree with the folks here (including myself) who have suggested simply having a word with the offender and explaining why his behavior is disruptive. But this presumes that other regulars at the session feel the same as the OP.
(BTW, I'm not presuming to know what the strummer is thinking. I merely pointed out that the punters' reaction can and often does lead to pandering to them.)
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy. He obviously doesn't have a clue and needs telling what's what. As far as he's concerned, he's having a good time and the punters are cheering him on so that means he's accepted.
Girl from Belfast City and Wild Rover are decent enough tunes if played sensitively; like many song tunes they lend themselves well to expressive playing and ornamentation. Perhaps someone could show him how it's done?
Of course, he could prove to be a total arse that can't be told, but doesn't he deserve a chance to learn?
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Yep, Red Menace, that's why, if it were me in the OP's shoes, I'd have a word with him, straight away. I do just that every time a disruptive force enters our local session. More often than not, a simple, diplomatic explanation solves the problem then and there.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I had an experience once where a formidable gal who played piano would push people out of her way to sit at the piano and then bang away as loud as she could to drown out any guitar players. These people she shoved, who were sitting in chairs playing as she shoved them away, were outraged as you might imagine. Everyone looked to me to do something about it since I was the host. I tried talking to her but it had no effect. Then, since I am even more formidable than she, I decided to sit in front of the piano because I was too big for her to shove out of the way. She ended up launching a campaign against me claiming I wasn't letting her join the session and leaving out the bit about how she shoved people out of the way to sit at the piano and then banged away as loud as she possibly could. For years I dealt with people coming and complaining about how I don't allow people to play in the session based on that misinformation campaign. I suppose that might have some bearing on my current approach.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Sure, protecting the session from wreckers means that the at least some of the wreckers will bad mouth you. Small price to pay, I think.
Going to the bar while someone behaves badly only turns the session over to them, however briefly. I'd rather not do that.
Over the years, I've found that blatant wreckers are best dealt with right out in the open. Diplomatically at first, and then no holds barred. That way, everyone sees and hears what's really happening, so it's harder for the wrecker to start false rumors.
No doubt all of this is much easier in a small town (where I live) than a big city, such as SF.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
More to the OP's question, dealing with such problems in the open and straightforward helps to keep our own dignity and integrity intact. I don't feel bad about myself or my music making when I've stood up to protect our session.
We're a pretty flexible lot at our local session, but some behaviors are simply beyond the pale, or become problems when they go chronic. I'd much rather annoy one ill-behaving person than see a half dozen of my session friends have a miserable night.
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
OP: Sounds like your session needs a leader. That leader will have to have the gumption to tell your stummer to be more polite. I doubt the strummer knows what's going on. Few people would be so rude if they knew better. If someone, with diplomacy, talks to Mr Rude, he'll do do one of three things: (1) Get p*ssed off and be a jack-ass. Ask him to leave. (2) Realize his errs and be too mortified to come back. (3) have the backbone to realize his errs and comeback to learn the tradition. If he comes back to learn, welcome him with open arms ( and tell him to strum very softly! ). You might try pointing him to this thread as a delicate way of breaking the news. What ever happens, try NOT to embarrass him; people do very rash things when they get embarrassed.
Phantom: "The punters love all sorts of things, they would love it if some babe danced topless on the session table"..... I wouldn't particularly mind that myself...As long as she doesn't spill my drink!
Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
So it happened like this. I play at a local session and often we have musicians passing thorugh and joining us which is good fun. But for the past two sessions we have been taken over by other musicians, one in particular who plays shuffle rhythm to everything. I mean every thing. And loud too. Never dipped out on a tune. Led a few and did several songs of the bawdy pseudo Irish tradition. Wild Rover. Tell me Ma. All sort of shouted not sung. I gave up leading off tunes because I could not hear myself play, or even think. Couldn't bear trying to keep time against the shuffle. Thing is the punters just loved it. And suddenly I felt like I was fooling myself all along and what I did was useless and... done a good deal of beating myself up. But it has now been two weeks and I haven't picked up the fiddle or listened to a tune. Just can't bear the thought. Am I the only one to go through such a crisis? How do I climb out?
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by redh
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
What's wrong with "Tell me Ma" ? It's alot of fun. Just chill ... s hit happens ... then you can get back to where you wanted to be. If the session doesn't survive it may be time for a change. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing, in the long term.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Ben Steen
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Don't let anyone take away your love of the music... you can't control the clueless ejits who ruin sessions... they will eventually lose interest and you and your love of the music will still be there after they've gone. One way to deal with it is to stop playing, and if asked, just mention that what he's doing is putting you off. If there are others who feel like you they might follow suit. Eventually the eejit will be left with his own incompetence and get bored... you will still be there to pick up where you left off after he goes away. Good luck.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Phantom Button
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
"One way to deal with it is to stop playing, and if asked, just mention that what he's doing is putting you off."
Been there, done that. Alas, it's been my experience that putting one's instrument down in the middle of the tune that one leads is the sort of thing that doesn't go unnoticed, or misconstrued, by anyone BESIDES the offending party.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Tall, Dark, and Mysterious
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Happened to me twice at the same session - piano accordionist arrives about 45 minutes after everyone else, strides into middle of the session and just takes over. Twice in one evening he started up over something I had just begun.
The second evening, he sat down almost next to me and did the same thing - so I gave up on the mandolin and started playing the bodhran very loud and very badly. O.K. I wouldn't normally resort to such tactics but there's a time and place for everything...
The amazing thing, neither he nor anyone else seemed to notice, either what he was doing (perhaps they're used to it) - or my retribution... :-z Maybe they just couldn't hear over the four other accordions. I came away pretty annoyed - but it's not worth getting down about it... the gumboots always did trample on the more sensitive types in this world...
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by ian stock
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
hey i feel your pain. you'll always get idiots like that... hopefully they don't persist in ruining ur session otherwise u may need to have a wee word.. seriously though, something like that shouldn't put you off playing trad! no way! pick up that fiddle now
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by tradcracker
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
ps put on fierce traditional! that would get anyone going
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by tradcracker
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
"The second evening, he sat down almost next to me and did the same thing - so I gave up on the mandolin and started playing the bodhran very loud and very badly."
Bloody hell, Ian, I think you're finally getting it.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by ethical blend
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
redh, I've definitely been through that. It isn't you, it's them. For some people, the advice - to just stick it out and endure the session, with or without appropriate tactics, until they just go - will work. It wouldnt have wporked for me, and I have, at different times, ended up doing what you're doing. Looking back now, I wish that what I'd done instead was, yes, avoid the session, but use that time to work on my own stuff, learn a different instrument, anything other than what I did, which was, for a while, just to give up.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by ethical blend
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
What do your session mates think?
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Ben Steen
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
My session mates are divided. Some think anything goes. Some are highly p+++ed off. I think what really got to me is that it just sounded like a wall of noise. Not a hint of music. Noise. That is what has sent me into a decline.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by redh
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Oh and "tell me Ma" can be a nice tune, but al la Pogues.... not for me thanks
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by redh
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
If it's a "wall of noise" go to the bar... your friends might join you there... then from that vantage point you can watch the wall crumble and fall as you quietly sip your pints... after it's been cleaned up and removed you can return to the session.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Phantom Button
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I haven't had the same experienced that was described, but won't pick of the instrument either if I am put off, by anything. I have to be in a good mood to play.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Gringo
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
It's simple, we kill the Batman.
Well no, unfortunately we can't commit homicide on clueless strummers screaming crap.
This is really maddening however. Every eejit with six strings and a Clancy Bros. song should read that original post and perhaps (yeah right) understand how they harm the music and musicians.
redh, I don't know who is in charge of your session but it sounds like someone very weak, or perhaps there's no leader at all.
Whatever you do, please DO NOT stop playing or feel badly.
I mean, for the love of. "...fooling myself...useless...beating myself up..."
Yeah, that's right, it's just us prima donna melody players being fussy and elitist with our complaints about awful strummers.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THIS PERSON!
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Oh, and in case I forget, Happy New Year everyone! Woo hoo! Whimsy all around!
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Whimsy indeed! Happy New Year!!!
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by AlBrown
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
We've dealt with similar issues a number of times over the 12 or so years our local session has been running. Sometimes the problem is temporary and the player is soon gone. Sometimes it's chronic and we've had to address it directly to protect the
I think this redh's situation is a good example of why the participants in a session need to be clear about what their session is. Are you there to enjoy the nuances of these fine old tunes and the sense of community that comes with playing them *together,* close-knit? Or are you there to get a rise out of the punters, sell beer for the publican, and make some noise among friends?
In my experience, as soon as someone starts catering to the crowd--entertaining them--you've lost the focus of the music, and the session becomes a performance, a show. If that's what the session regulars (musicians) want it to be, fine. But if they'd rather play tunes for the sake of playing tunes, then you have to rein in the showboats.
There's little point stewing about this in private. Talk with your session mates. Find out how they feel about the situation, and then act accordingly. Chances are, you'll face two options: (a) explain the problem to the new player who has brought no joy and describe how he can modify his behavior to better fit in, or (b) go find yourself another session more to your liking.
Either way, the longer you let this go on without trying to resolve it, the unhappier you'll become. Sure, there's the off chance that the guy will leave of his own accord and the session will revert to what it was. But sooner or later someone else will come along and create the same dilemma.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
"...to protect the session."
Oh, and P.S. Don't ever let some bludgeoner ruin your own joy for the music. Someone else can rob you of that *only* if you let them.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I find that people like that are usually "one off" sessioners. They've
worked up their 5 or 6 tunes; they show up for their birthday with
six friends and relatives and you never see them again, or maybe
a year later.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Hup
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
"Twice in one evening he started up over something I had just begun. "
That second time is when you say something loud and unmistakable.
"Excuse me - I would like to start a tune without being interrupted."
Polite but clear and firm.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by wormdiet
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Yes. I won't go into a lot of detail other than to say that some peoples' insensitivity and egoism can be infuriating.
Best thing for it: take the half of the session that's hacked off at your strummy., shouty interloper, and form your own session at a venue of your choosing. and to hellfire everlasting with that other scene.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Seosamh Ui Sinan
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
The people I've seen that do this aren't trying to turn the session into a staged production for an audience or anything absurd like that; they just want to be part of it and are clueless about what's going on, insensitive and mannerless. The first approach is, as I pointed out, to just stop and let it boil down to just them so they'll lose interest and go away, or possibly realize they have gone roughshod over the session. If they keep coming back and doing the same thing someone might want to pull them aside and try explaining, but these people are by their nature unlikely to remain interested long. If they are, they might get a clue eventually, but they will need to be offered a few clues along the way.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Phantom Button
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Jack, the OP says, "The thing is, the punters loved it."
That reaction can lead to pandering. It certainly happens. I've seen it happen more times than I can count, at sessions in many different places. And it can make dealing with the perpetrator difficult, because maybe some players in the circle enjoy the positive attention from the punters. And soon the circle is playing for that rise, instead of just for the sake of playing the tunes.
Yes, it's certainly "absurd." But not because this scenario is unlikely. It crops up to ruin many a good session.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
It is obvious from the above posts that you are not alone. As to how you climb out, you need to break the association between your fiddle and that bad feeling. Do you play any slow airs? Any nice mournful laments? Pick your fiddle up and shut your eyes and get it all out of your system. Easy on the pipes, a bit harder on the fiddle. Your fiddle is your friend, not an accomplice in the crime.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by gam
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Just because the punters love it doesn't mean that's why he's doing it, Will. The punters love all sorts of things, they would love it if some babe danced topless on the session table. The point is that it was disrupting the session and one needs to just withdraw from supporting it by ceasing to play and going to the bar until the person gets tired and stops. That will separate the problem from the people that were there to have a session. This is a risk you take when you perform tunes in public... the public might decide they want a piece of it. When they try to grab a piece... just stop. We've done this to great effect at our local.
There was a group of Paddys once on holiday who decided they wanted our session to be their personal ballad session... they forced their way in and we stopped playing. They sang a few tunes and the punters loved it, but then the punters began to wonder why we weren't playing anymore. After a while there was no support from us or the punters, and the barmaid stepped in and asked them to stop. They ended up leaving, but not before getting into a fist fight out front with some bloke walking by. The punters loved that as well.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Phantom Button
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I've really appreciated the support and some good ideas for how I deal with my feelings. Gam, I am going to give my favourite slow air (twisting the hayrope) a go, because I think my lack of wanting to pick up the fiddle and the mournfulness of the tune might just do the trick and cancel each other out. For now it is late at night and I have shared a bottle of very pleasant pinot noir so picking up the fiddle is definitely not on. tomorrow is a new day. Right?
Thanks for the ideas
Cheers
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by redh
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Why not take the childish approach, get yourself a tin whistle and play along with him and right beside him (I am presuming you don't play the whistle)...
or the mature approach and tell him that his loud playing is off putting for you and others, and would he mind toning it down a little...
failing that ask him how often he washes himself......
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Theirlandais
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I agree with the folks here (including myself) who have suggested simply having a word with the offender and explaining why his behavior is disruptive. But this presumes that other regulars at the session feel the same as the OP.
(BTW, I'm not presuming to know what the strummer is thinking. I merely pointed out that the punters' reaction can and often does lead to pandering to them.)
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
You say "passive aggressive" like that's a bad thing.
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by ethical blend
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy. He obviously doesn't have a clue and needs telling what's what. As far as he's concerned, he's having a good time and the punters are cheering him on so that means he's accepted.
Girl from Belfast City and Wild Rover are decent enough tunes if played sensitively; like many song tunes they lend themselves well to expressive playing and ornamentation. Perhaps someone could show him how it's done?
Of course, he could prove to be a total arse that can't be told, but doesn't he deserve a chance to learn?
# Posted on January 1st 2011 by Red Menace
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Yep, Red Menace, that's why, if it were me in the OP's shoes, I'd have a word with him, straight away. I do just that every time a disruptive force enters our local session. More often than not, a simple, diplomatic explanation solves the problem then and there.
# Posted on January 2nd 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
I had an experience once where a formidable gal who played piano would push people out of her way to sit at the piano and then bang away as loud as she could to drown out any guitar players. These people she shoved, who were sitting in chairs playing as she shoved them away, were outraged as you might imagine. Everyone looked to me to do something about it since I was the host. I tried talking to her but it had no effect. Then, since I am even more formidable than she, I decided to sit in front of the piano because I was too big for her to shove out of the way. She ended up launching a campaign against me claiming I wasn't letting her join the session and leaving out the bit about how she shoved people out of the way to sit at the piano and then banged away as loud as she possibly could. For years I dealt with people coming and complaining about how I don't allow people to play in the session based on that misinformation campaign. I suppose that might have some bearing on my current approach.
# Posted on January 2nd 2011 by Phantom Button
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Sure, protecting the session from wreckers means that the at least some of the wreckers will bad mouth you. Small price to pay, I think.
Going to the bar while someone behaves badly only turns the session over to them, however briefly. I'd rather not do that.
Over the years, I've found that blatant wreckers are best dealt with right out in the open. Diplomatically at first, and then no holds barred. That way, everyone sees and hears what's really happening, so it's harder for the wrecker to start false rumors.
No doubt all of this is much easier in a small town (where I live) than a big city, such as SF.
# Posted on January 2nd 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
More to the OP's question, dealing with such problems in the open and straightforward helps to keep our own dignity and integrity intact. I don't feel bad about myself or my music making when I've stood up to protect our session.
We're a pretty flexible lot at our local session, but some behaviors are simply beyond the pale, or become problems when they go chronic. I'd much rather annoy one ill-behaving person than see a half dozen of my session friends have a miserable night.
# Posted on January 2nd 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Happened to us.
A talented banjo player but EVERYTHING was Gerry O'Connor style.
Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Couldn't get him to stop. Tune after tune, reel after reel.......
# Posted on January 2nd 2011 by bodhran bliss
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
LOL.
We've never had a banjo spoil the session, but a drum, yes. More than once.
# Posted on January 2nd 2011 by Will Harmon
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
OP: Sounds like your session needs a leader. That leader will have to have the gumption to tell your stummer to be more polite. I doubt the strummer knows what's going on. Few people would be so rude if they knew better. If someone, with diplomacy, talks to Mr Rude, he'll do do one of three things: (1) Get p*ssed off and be a jack-ass. Ask him to leave. (2) Realize his errs and be too mortified to come back. (3) have the backbone to realize his errs and comeback to learn the tradition. If he comes back to learn, welcome him with open arms ( and tell him to strum very softly! ). You might try pointing him to this thread as a delicate way of breaking the news. What ever happens, try NOT to embarrass him; people do very rash things when they get embarrassed.
Phantom: "The punters love all sorts of things, they would love it if some babe danced topless on the session table"..... I wouldn't particularly mind that myself...As long as she doesn't spill my drink!
# Posted on January 3rd 2011 by beretta
Re: Ever been totally put off even picking up the instrument?
Work up a few tunes with your guitar player
friend and/or prearrange with another player
and when he goes on, pull the ripcord;
we're going in.
You can overcome; the punters might like it.
# Posted on January 3rd 2011 by dogmageek