Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
This is a true story, not very "PC" perhaps, but a true story non the less. I know, for I was that soldier.
Many years ago one of the local folk club regulars, who played flute, got me cornered one night. He'd seen me with the pipes before and we were getting to know each other. He said
"Would you come and play those where I work? They would love it and you'd get a very warm welcome"
How could I refuse? - I took the day off work, packed the pipes and proceeded to his place of work. It turned out to be a school for the mentally handicapped. That was fine, no issues with that. Anyway, in I went to be greeted by Peter (the flute player) who was very pleased to see me. We had a cup of tea in the staff room and then he took me to the "music room".
Before long the room filled up with his students. I started strapping myself in and, at this stage, Peter started handing out drums, symbols and triangles to the assembled multitude. Suddenly he stopped saying.
"Oh, I must fetch Mary, she would'nt want to miss this"
Up he got and strode out of the room before I could say anything. There am I, sat down, strapped in, no chance of escape.
Well, the next thing, a nurse enters the room with a government inspector. This inspector takes one look at me, strides in my direction and asks
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Does the answer have to be musical? Am I allowed to report that the funniest thing that ever happened to me was when I was sitting on a hospital bog having just had a barium enema? Is there a Guinness Book Of Records entry for the longest-ever uninterrupted fart? How does 37 seconds sound?
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
A fiddler and I were once the focus of a miss marpale type crime mystery.
My fiddler chum and I played this remote Inn at new year several years on the trot in the mid 90's........ The last time we played there the Inn had a newish manager known as Mr S, the owner was also in attendance, as he was every new year by way of a regular social jolly. The owner, CJ, loved to host a tune for these visits hence why this became a regular booking.
Anyway this gig was very well paid, as one might expect at new year and involved an hour or two of music, a break for Champaign & fire works and then an hour or six, depending on the mood after the bells..............
So the gig had gone well as usual and the fiddler and I were enjoying fine malt whiskies cheerfully supplied by Mr S, 50 year old something or others served in crystal dram "goblets".
As everybody sloped off to bed the fiddler and I got into a bit of an argument over the speed a certain tune should be played and, given that drink had been taken, I, the junior partner musically, was not for backing down. No blows please, we are artists. But suffice to say that no 50 year old something or other whiskies will ever be served in those particular crystal dram glasses ever again.
The cook who had just turned up to start breakfast duly chastised us for our ungentlemanly behavior and put us to bed as she soon would be expecting Inn guests for breakfast.
We slumbered pleasantly until a few hours later when we were rudely awoken by a pair of burly police constables. Christ I thought, WTF is all this about, as I tried to pice together the happenings of the previous night through what promised to be a vengeful hangover. The fiddler took a little longer to waken from his bed as he'd had even more to drink than I, only to aid creativity and lubricate his renowned fiddle finger, you understand.
"Can we inspect your foot ware please gentlemen", asked a burly constable. This was easily achieved as both the fiddler and I had conveniently kept our foot ware on when we went to bed, as was sometimes our want. "No signs of butter and no caterpillar logo sergeant", the constable duly reported. "What time did you go to bed gentlemen?", he asked as a follow up question. I spoke on behalf of the duet and told him I had absolutely no idea but the cook had shown us to our rooms so she may know. "Did you leave your room at any time after that", em, I don't think so, I told him. "Thats all for now but we may need to speak to you again", and so we diligently supplied our contact details.
On awaking for brunch my chum and I were astounded to learn that a theft had occurred at some point the previous evening and that several thousand pound had been stolen from the Inn. The cook, after putting us to bed, had found the kitchen window to be unusually open, unusual in January, she also found a suspicious foot print on a lump of butter situated on a work top by the open window, intriguingly the print included the brand legend; "Caterpillar".
We were duly cleared of suspicion by the cook in her statement, as we were considered incapable of the offense in her estimation, shrewd woman. The fiddler objected on the ground that he could have kept drinking for a few hours longer, but as the realisation that he was re incriminating himself dawned, he added; of course he'd been very very drunk.
This crime was never officially solved, but a few months later the fiddler and I were talking to a mutual friend who happens to be the stalker on the hill ground behind and above the Inn about these events. He winked and cleared his throat; "I was on the hill the day yon new manager arrived, I saw him through my glass. He was driving a beat up old ford escort and had both a holdall and an old suitcase held together with string, by way of possessions. I also happened to be on the hill when he left six months later. He was driving a brand new ford mondao and mate of his drove off in a self drive transit van full of new gear".
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
"i once fell of a stage singing Peggy Gordon in Tory Island"
Continuing in a similar vein, I was playing for a wedding ceili somewhere in the South of England. We were playing Dingle Regatta, which involved the unfortunately obligatory stand-up-sit-down charade. Being part of a fairly large band, I was located at the back and, on sitting down after one top G, my chair and I slid back an inch too far and disappeared down the back of the stage. Fortunately for me, the stage was outside on grass and my chair was of the flimsy plastic garden variety, serving quite effectively as a shock absorber, so I was able to clamber back on stage unhurt and continue playing. But the funniest thing was, nobody even noticed except me, the drummer and one of the wedding guests (who probably thought it was just a bad joke).
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
I don't know if it's funny, but I have a similar story to the OP's. I was doing research at the Argyll and Bute Hospital in Lochgilphead (which is, and has been since 1863, a psychiatric institution). There is a piper who lives in Argyll, not far from Lochgilphead, who I thought I'd get in touch with while I was in the area. When I phoned him up, he said that he was running a session of sorts at the hospital that night for patients who played tunes and anyone else, and the person he normally did that with was off sick or something, so could I help him out. As I was at the hospital anyway, I agreed to do it.
I went to the common room at the hospital, met up with the other piper, and the patients came in. There were several guys with guitars, a box player, and a fiddle player. Various percussive devices were handed out to other patients who came in. It was really a nice thing for them. I had to play the Streets of Laredo about seven times, as one guy asked for it every ten or fifteen minutes. Several people could sing and the fiddle player wasn't half bad. The box player played Calum's Road about half a dozen times. That was an interesting way to spend an evening.
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
TSS,
At least you knew what you were letting yourself in for. I had no clue at all.
The funny part of my story, well, to me at any rate, was the futile attempts I made trying to convince the inspector that I was'nt one of the inmates. To this day, I''m not sure I succeded
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Once, on the first day of school, I had a dozen or so new 7th graders in my classroom. I had just finished a 45 minute nonstop talk about the schedule, the rules, etc, etc, and asked if anyone has any questions or comments.
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
My zip broke on my very first day in a new teaching job. I spent the whole of an hour-long lesson teaching human biology to 16-year-old girls standing immovable in front of a tall stack of textbooks on the teacher's bench. Couldn't even walk the few steps to the blackboard. They must have thought I was completely bonkers.
There. Now I could have made that far funnier had I said that I'd emitted a 37-second fart in front of the girls, but I wouldn't dream of telling such a lie. It was two 15-second ones.
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Before I got an electrionic tuner, I'd have to step outside to tune my mando. This was only slightly less loud, as this was back when people who wer einto modifying their cars were into "fart cans"-- those awful loud "mufflers." So one day there I am on West Broadway tuning the mando of a lovely summer evening, and up come two Irish Dancer girls on their way to class and they say "will you give us a tune?"
So being a few sheets to the wind I start playing and the two of them start their routine (and kept at it...I must have been sober enough to at least manage the rhythm) and moments later the smokers start clinking glasses and tapping feet. In about the first time through part 4 of gravel walk, another dancer shows up and steps in, and by the time the tune nears its end, a cop has pulled over, and as the tune ends he gets out of his car
"F**k" I thought, "must have a pint standing around somewhere or something equally awful in the eyes of Johnny Law No Fun Allowed In Vancouver"
The cop stands up behind his car and says "play on...I'll make sure there's nobody speeding here to drown out your music."
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
At this hospital where I am employed as a medical clerk, many years ago a patient who had just returned from a biopsy accidentally made us all laugh by asking whether or not we had the results of his autopsy yet.
Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
This is a true story, not very "PC" perhaps, but a true story non the less. I know, for I was that soldier.
Many years ago one of the local folk club regulars, who played flute, got me cornered one night. He'd seen me with the pipes before and we were getting to know each other. He said
"Would you come and play those where I work? They would love it and you'd get a very warm welcome"
How could I refuse? - I took the day off work, packed the pipes and proceeded to his place of work. It turned out to be a school for the mentally handicapped. That was fine, no issues with that. Anyway, in I went to be greeted by Peter (the flute player) who was very pleased to see me. We had a cup of tea in the staff room and then he took me to the "music room".
Before long the room filled up with his students. I started strapping myself in and, at this stage, Peter started handing out drums, symbols and triangles to the assembled multitude. Suddenly he stopped saying.
"Oh, I must fetch Mary, she would'nt want to miss this"
Up he got and strode out of the room before I could say anything. There am I, sat down, strapped in, no chance of escape.
Well, the next thing, a nurse enters the room with a government inspector. This inspector takes one look at me, strides in my direction and asks
"Can you really play those?"
After that day, I never saw Peter again !!
# Posted on November 16th 2010 by ormepipes
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Cool story, bro.
# Posted on November 16th 2010 by I ♥ Dow
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
which was the funnny bit?
# Posted on November 16th 2010 by mickyfong
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Peter going to fetch Mary sounds funny, are you sure you were there ?
# Posted on November 16th 2010 by Theirlandais
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
i once fell of a stage singing Peggy Gordon in Tory Island
# Posted on November 16th 2010 by banjo'd
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
We were playing at an outdoor wedding once when a bird flew over and blessed the bride.
# Posted on November 16th 2010 by Boots MacAllen
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Think I've missed the punchline there somewhere... ?
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by suesinger
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Does the answer have to be musical? Am I allowed to report that the funniest thing that ever happened to me was when I was sitting on a hospital bog having just had a barium enema? Is there a Guinness Book Of Records entry for the longest-ever uninterrupted fart? How does 37 seconds sound?
Well, in a way, I suppose it *was* musical...
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Steve Shaw
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
"How does 37 seconds sound? "
About like 3 seconds, only longer.
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
37 seconds? Lightweight...
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Dragut Reis
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Well, a bit lighter before than after, wouldn't you think?
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/23927/comments
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Gone to work
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
I had a major stroke at age 32 and afterwords had a burning desire to play nothing but Irish jigs reels and polkas. I'm still laughing....
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by shanty
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
A fiddler and I were once the focus of a miss marpale type crime mystery.
My fiddler chum and I played this remote Inn at new year several years on the trot in the mid 90's........ The last time we played there the Inn had a newish manager known as Mr S, the owner was also in attendance, as he was every new year by way of a regular social jolly. The owner, CJ, loved to host a tune for these visits hence why this became a regular booking.
Anyway this gig was very well paid, as one might expect at new year and involved an hour or two of music, a break for Champaign & fire works and then an hour or six, depending on the mood after the bells..............
So the gig had gone well as usual and the fiddler and I were enjoying fine malt whiskies cheerfully supplied by Mr S, 50 year old something or others served in crystal dram "goblets".
As everybody sloped off to bed the fiddler and I got into a bit of an argument over the speed a certain tune should be played and, given that drink had been taken, I, the junior partner musically, was not for backing down. No blows please, we are artists. But suffice to say that no 50 year old something or other whiskies will ever be served in those particular crystal dram glasses ever again.
The cook who had just turned up to start breakfast duly chastised us for our ungentlemanly behavior and put us to bed as she soon would be expecting Inn guests for breakfast.
We slumbered pleasantly until a few hours later when we were rudely awoken by a pair of burly police constables. Christ I thought, WTF is all this about, as I tried to pice together the happenings of the previous night through what promised to be a vengeful hangover. The fiddler took a little longer to waken from his bed as he'd had even more to drink than I, only to aid creativity and lubricate his renowned fiddle finger, you understand.
"Can we inspect your foot ware please gentlemen", asked a burly constable. This was easily achieved as both the fiddler and I had conveniently kept our foot ware on when we went to bed, as was sometimes our want. "No signs of butter and no caterpillar logo sergeant", the constable duly reported. "What time did you go to bed gentlemen?", he asked as a follow up question. I spoke on behalf of the duet and told him I had absolutely no idea but the cook had shown us to our rooms so she may know. "Did you leave your room at any time after that", em, I don't think so, I told him. "Thats all for now but we may need to speak to you again", and so we diligently supplied our contact details.
On awaking for brunch my chum and I were astounded to learn that a theft had occurred at some point the previous evening and that several thousand pound had been stolen from the Inn. The cook, after putting us to bed, had found the kitchen window to be unusually open, unusual in January, she also found a suspicious foot print on a lump of butter situated on a work top by the open window, intriguingly the print included the brand legend; "Caterpillar".
We were duly cleared of suspicion by the cook in her statement, as we were considered incapable of the offense in her estimation, shrewd woman. The fiddler objected on the ground that he could have kept drinking for a few hours longer, but as the realisation that he was re incriminating himself dawned, he added; of course he'd been very very drunk.
This crime was never officially solved, but a few months later the fiddler and I were talking to a mutual friend who happens to be the stalker on the hill ground behind and above the Inn about these events. He winked and cleared his throat; "I was on the hill the day yon new manager arrived, I saw him through my glass. He was driving a beat up old ford escort and had both a holdall and an old suitcase held together with string, by way of possessions. I also happened to be on the hill when he left six months later. He was driving a brand new ford mondao and mate of his drove off in a self drive transit van full of new gear".
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Solidmahog
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
One day, a friend of mine invited me to join him at some regular irish sessions and try learning some of the music.
Not sure I've ever been quite sane since. People keep looking at me funny when I randomly start humming diddley-like things at the market.
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by banshee misfortune
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
This is just the funniest thread ever
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by mickyfong
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
"i once fell of a stage singing Peggy Gordon in Tory Island"
Continuing in a similar vein, I was playing for a wedding ceili somewhere in the South of England. We were playing Dingle Regatta, which involved the unfortunately obligatory stand-up-sit-down charade. Being part of a fairly large band, I was located at the back and, on sitting down after one top G, my chair and I slid back an inch too far and disappeared down the back of the stage. Fortunately for me, the stage was outside on grass and my chair was of the flimsy plastic garden variety, serving quite effectively as a shock absorber, so I was able to clamber back on stage unhurt and continue playing. But the funniest thing was, nobody even noticed except me, the drummer and one of the wedding guests (who probably thought it was just a bad joke).
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
I don't know if it's funny, but I have a similar story to the OP's. I was doing research at the Argyll and Bute Hospital in Lochgilphead (which is, and has been since 1863, a psychiatric institution). There is a piper who lives in Argyll, not far from Lochgilphead, who I thought I'd get in touch with while I was in the area. When I phoned him up, he said that he was running a session of sorts at the hospital that night for patients who played tunes and anyone else, and the person he normally did that with was off sick or something, so could I help him out. As I was at the hospital anyway, I agreed to do it.
I went to the common room at the hospital, met up with the other piper, and the patients came in. There were several guys with guitars, a box player, and a fiddle player. Various percussive devices were handed out to other patients who came in. It was really a nice thing for them. I had to play the Streets of Laredo about seven times, as one guy asked for it every ten or fifteen minutes. Several people could sing and the fiddle player wasn't half bad. The box player played Calum's Road about half a dozen times. That was an interesting way to spend an evening.
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
I think we need to swap the word "Funny" and replace it by "Strange" and then this thread should be back up and running again.
Which reminds me of the time I went to a session, I drank about 4 or 5 pints and then I went home...
Has anyone else had similar experiences...
# Posted on November 17th 2010 by Theirlandais
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
TSS,
At least you knew what you were letting yourself in for. I had no clue at all.
The funny part of my story, well, to me at any rate, was the futile attempts I made trying to convince the inspector that I was'nt one of the inmates. To this day, I''m not sure I succeded
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by ormepipes
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
OK It was a hospital and not a school, correct ?
and Peter wasn't actually working there, he was a more like a resident..
Did he smoke woodbines ? or even better the "Connaught Tribune" ?
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by Theirlandais
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Strangest of all is that I read this stupid thread to the end.... hoping in vain for some humor.
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by David Levine
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
A few years ago I sat next to Ged Foley for about an hour at a
session - barely able to play anything - having no idea who he
was until the next day.
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by Hup
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Definitely a funny as in strange thread, as opposed to a funny as in ha ha thread...
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by AlBrown
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Once, on the first day of school, I had a dozen or so new 7th graders in my classroom. I had just finished a 45 minute nonstop talk about the schedule, the rules, etc, etc, and asked if anyone has any questions or comments.
One boy..."your zipper is down."
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by Greg the Piano Tuner
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
My zip broke on my very first day in a new teaching job. I spent the whole of an hour-long lesson teaching human biology to 16-year-old girls standing immovable in front of a tall stack of textbooks on the teacher's bench. Couldn't even walk the few steps to the blackboard. They must have thought I was completely bonkers.
There. Now I could have made that far funnier had I said that I'd emitted a 37-second fart in front of the girls, but I wouldn't dream of telling such a lie. It was two 15-second ones.
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by Steve Shaw
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
It was the textbooks on the teacher's bench, not me standing on it as well.
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by Steve Shaw
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Those of us who don't have a teacher's perspective of 'front' in a classroom may be imagining you standing *behind* the books. Or perhaps not...
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by David50
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
God, you're right. Two complete absurdities in three lines of typing. I'm off to get myself investigated.
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by Steve Shaw
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Ugh. The lameness is underwhelming.
# Posted on November 18th 2010 by underthetoaster
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Well stop moaning and tell us something funny that happened to you, preferably involving a fart in a session. That'll cheer us all up.
# Posted on November 19th 2010 by Steve Shaw
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Jaysus Steve you really are a wild man!
# Posted on November 19th 2010 by big_tab
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
It's the red kidney beans. I even have 'em in porridge.
# Posted on November 19th 2010 by Steve Shaw
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Before I got an electrionic tuner, I'd have to step outside to tune my mando. This was only slightly less loud, as this was back when people who wer einto modifying their cars were into "fart cans"-- those awful loud "mufflers." So one day there I am on West Broadway tuning the mando of a lovely summer evening, and up come two Irish Dancer girls on their way to class and they say "will you give us a tune?"
So being a few sheets to the wind I start playing and the two of them start their routine (and kept at it...I must have been sober enough to at least manage the rhythm) and moments later the smokers start clinking glasses and tapping feet. In about the first time through part 4 of gravel walk, another dancer shows up and steps in, and by the time the tune nears its end, a cop has pulled over, and as the tune ends he gets out of his car
"F**k" I thought, "must have a pint standing around somewhere or something equally awful in the eyes of Johnny Law No Fun Allowed In Vancouver"
The cop stands up behind his car and says "play on...I'll make sure there's nobody speeding here to drown out your music."
# Posted on November 19th 2010 by chris stolz
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
This sort of http://randsesotericotr.podbean.com/2008/05/14/the-great-crepitation-contest-of-1946/
# Posted on November 19th 2010 by Boots MacAllen
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Oops.. This sort of relates, check out the historic audio
# Posted on November 19th 2010 by Boots MacAllen
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
At this hospital where I am employed as a medical clerk, many years ago a patient who had just returned from a biopsy accidentally made us all laugh by asking whether or not we had the results of his autopsy yet.
Laurence
# Posted on November 28th 2010 by fauxcelt
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Yeah, and I'm always careful when I get my quarterly phlebotomy that the lab tech doesn't confuse it with lobotomy....
# Posted on November 28th 2010 by Will Harmon
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Thanks for sharing that, Boots - it was a gas!
# Posted on November 28th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Sorry, I mean to say, it was a hoot.
# Posted on November 28th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Whats the funniest thing that ever happend to you ?
Anyway, I had a blast listening to it.
# Posted on November 28th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky