For some unknown reason, I have decided to try my hand at composing a tune (may the gods help us all). I would really appreciate it if folks would take a stab at playing it and let me know what you think.... does it sound like a tune you would want to play or does the melody sound too contrived/predictable? Does it “fit” within the genre? Fiddlers: Does it fall nicely under the fingers, or are the string crossings in the A turn a bit awkward?
Please tell me what works, what doesn’t and offer any suggestions you might have as how I can make it better. Don’t worry, I can handle constructive criticism so give me your honest opinions!
I realize it’s in the unlikely key of D dorion (I think... I’m not the best at figuring out modes!) but when I tried transposing it to a more “session friendly” key it just didn’t seem to fit ... I haven’t come up with a catchy title yet, so for now we’ll just stick with the utterly dull one of “Jenny’s” ....
It sounded nice on the flute even though I couldn't play the low C. I am guess those are Fnats as well because I thought it sounded better with the Fnats. It also sounds very nice played slowly. I haven't practiced enough to play it fast, but I will keep trying. Good piece, I am enjoying it.
Sounds promising. My main criticism is in the structure: the first part goes ABAC (the bars, I'm talking about) and the second part goes ABCB. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but I find it more satisfying if the pattern set out in the first part is followed in the second, even if it is only by suggestion. I like it though.
Thanks for all the comments so far. Keep 'em coming
@ jonny ward: yes, those are supposed to be Fnats. I'm horrible at figuring our modes, but I think D dorian is the one I want (no sharps, no flats with "D" as the "home note"). I hadn't thought about playing it slowly, but you're right, it does sounds quite nice as an air.
@ gam: Thanks for your imput about tune stucture. I hadn't thought about it in terms of each seaction, just the tune in general. I must admit, I'm not 100% satisfied with the B turn yet. I had been playing around with some ideas since I posted it. I will take your suggestion into consideration and see what I come up with!
You might consider the writing the first, third, and fifth measures without the triplet figure:
|: D3 A AGAB |...
or
|: D2 DA AGAB |...
This gives the player has the option to ornament the D3 either as a roll, a triplet, or play as written.
In a similar vein, in the B part try writing the fifth measure the same as the first measure. This gives the player the option to vary the fifth measure with a ^c. Likewise you could write the sixth measure without the _b thus:
| a2 ag agfa |...
Again this allows the player to insert his/her own variations such as adding a _b in measure six.
On the whole, a well conceived, well written piece. It's just that some players like to decide for themselves what variations and ornamentation get played and where to place them, rather than have the composer spell it out for them.
PS I agree with fiddlerdan: the triplets at the start don't feel right; but I interpret them as birls (crans) and they give the wrong emphasis. [I just hit the 'b' instead of the 'n' -- crabs would definitely feel wrong]
PPS
I've also changed the penultimate bar to afdB ecAF to fit with the matching bar of the first part. As someone said, a bad artist copies someone else's ideas -- a good one steals them. Thanks. Now, what shall I call it...
I ended up transposing it to Edor (I originally chose D dor because you can get some nice drones with the open D and A strings). I also changed parts of the B turn so that you don't have to go up to the C nat on the E string (although you could as a variation if you wanted to, I suppose) and simplified some other phrases to give others a chance to interpret the tune their own way as fidderlerdan suggested. Thanks for all your imput!
I also liked D.J.F's idea of transposing it to Ador. Sounds lovely and rich on the fiddle! decisions, decisions. Now... does anyone have a good title??
No prob. It's easy to do when you've got tunes going round in your head. A little altering of a few notes in the first part could sort that out. Keep up the good work!
Composition Feedback
Composition Feedback
Hi Everyone,
For some unknown reason, I have decided to try my hand at composing a tune (may the gods help us all). I would really appreciate it if folks would take a stab at playing it and let me know what you think.... does it sound like a tune you would want to play or does the melody sound too contrived/predictable? Does it “fit” within the genre? Fiddlers: Does it fall nicely under the fingers, or are the string crossings in the A turn a bit awkward?
Please tell me what works, what doesn’t and offer any suggestions you might have as how I can make it better. Don’t worry, I can handle constructive criticism so give me your honest opinions!
I realize it’s in the unlikely key of D dorion (I think... I’m not the best at figuring out modes!) but when I tried transposing it to a more “session friendly” key it just didn’t seem to fit ... I haven’t come up with a catchy title yet, so for now we’ll just stick with the utterly dull one of “Jenny’s” ....
Many thanks! I look forward to your comments!
-J
X:1
T:Jenny’s
C:J. Smith
R:Reel
L:1/8
M:4/4
K:Ddor
D/D/D A2 AGAB |cAGE CDEC| D/D/D A2 AGAB| cAGE EDDC|
D/D/D A2 AGAB |cAGE CDEC| FEFA GECc|AGEC D2 DA:||
d2 de fefg |agfe fedc |c2 Gc eceg|agfe fedc|
d^cde fefg |a_bag agfa| gecA dAGE|CDEC D2 DA:||
# Posted on July 24th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
It sounded nice on the flute even though I couldn't play the low C. I am guess those are Fnats as well because I thought it sounded better with the Fnats. It also sounds very nice played slowly. I haven't practiced enough to play it fast, but I will keep trying. Good piece, I am enjoying it.
# Posted on July 24th 2010 by pipersgrip
Sounds good in Adorian
On the fiddle anyway:
X:1
T:Jenny’s
C:J. Smith
R:Reel
L:1/8
M:4/4
K:Ador
A,/2A,/2A, E2 EDEF |GEDB, G,A,B,G,| A,/2A,/2A, E2 EDEF| GEDB, B,A,A,G,|
A,/2A,/2A, E2 EDEF |GEDB, G,A,B,G,| CB,CE DB,G,G|EDB,G, A,2 A,E:||
A2 AB cBcd |edcB cBAG |G2 DG BGBd|edcB cBAG|
I like tunes that go down to the bottom string, they sound more serious
# Posted on July 24th 2010 by I ♥ Dow
Re: Composition Feedback
Sounds promising. My main criticism is in the structure: the first part goes ABAC (the bars, I'm talking about) and the second part goes ABCB. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but I find it more satisfying if the pattern set out in the first part is followed in the second, even if it is only by suggestion. I like it though.
# Posted on July 24th 2010 by gam
Re: Composition Feedback
Thanks for all the comments so far. Keep 'em coming
@ jonny ward: yes, those are supposed to be Fnats. I'm horrible at figuring our modes, but I think D dorian is the one I want (no sharps, no flats with "D" as the "home note"). I hadn't thought about playing it slowly, but you're right, it does sounds quite nice as an air.
@ gam: Thanks for your imput about tune stucture. I hadn't thought about it in terms of each seaction, just the tune in general. I must admit, I'm not 100% satisfied with the B turn yet. I had been playing around with some ideas since I posted it. I will take your suggestion into consideration and see what I come up with!
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
You might consider the writing the first, third, and fifth measures without the triplet figure:
|: D3 A AGAB |...
or
|: D2 DA AGAB |...
This gives the player has the option to ornament the D3 either as a roll, a triplet, or play as written.
In a similar vein, in the B part try writing the fifth measure the same as the first measure. This gives the player the option to vary the fifth measure with a ^c. Likewise you could write the sixth measure without the _b thus:
| a2 ag agfa |...
Again this allows the player to insert his/her own variations such as adding a _b in measure six.
On the whole, a well conceived, well written piece. It's just that some players like to decide for themselves what variations and ornamentation get played and where to place them, rather than have the composer spell it out for them.
Good work, and keep the tunes coming.
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Composition Feedback
Try it like this: it is how it would feel natural to me. I'm going to learn it now. :}
X: 1
T:Jenny’s
C:J. Smith
R:Reel
L:1/8
M:4/4
K:Edor
E/2E/2E B2 BABc |dBAF DEFD| E/2E/2E B2 BABc| dBAF FEED|
E/2E/2E B2 BABc |dBAF DEFD| GFGB AFDd|BAFD E2 EB:||
e2 ef gfga |bagf gfed |e2 ef gfga |bagf feed|
e^def gfga |b=c'ba bagb| afdB eBAF|DEFD E2 EB:||
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by gam
Re: Composition Feedback
PS I agree with fiddlerdan: the triplets at the start don't feel right; but I interpret them as birls (crans) and they give the wrong emphasis. [I just hit the 'b' instead of the 'n' -- crabs would definitely feel wrong]
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by gam
Re: Composition Feedback
PPS
I've also changed the penultimate bar to afdB ecAF to fit with the matching bar of the first part. As someone said, a bad artist copies someone else's ideas -- a good one steals them. Thanks. Now, what shall I call it...
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by gam
Re: Composition Feedback
gam's Edorian version goes well with The Cat that Ate the Candle. I like it-nice job.
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by shanty
Re: Composition Feedback
I like the cranned D at the beginning.
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by pipersgrip
Re: Composition Feedback
After spending some more time on it last night, I came up with the following:
X:1
T: Jenny's (Take Two)
R:Reel
L:1/8
M:4/4
K:Edor
E2 B2 BABc| dBAF DEFD|E2 B2 BABc| dBAF FEEB|
E2 B2 BABc| dBAF DEFD| GFGB AFDd|BAFD FEEB:||
e2 ef gfga| bagf gfed| d2 Ad fdfa|bagf gfed|
e^def gfga| bagf gfed| fedB edBA| GEFD FEEB:||
I ended up transposing it to Edor (I originally chose D dor because you can get some nice drones with the open D and A strings). I also changed parts of the B turn so that you don't have to go up to the C nat on the E string (although you could as a variation if you wanted to, I suppose) and simplified some other phrases to give others a chance to interpret the tune their own way as fidderlerdan suggested. Thanks for all your imput!
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
I also liked D.J.F's idea of transposing it to Ador. Sounds lovely and rich on the fiddle! decisions, decisions. Now... does anyone have a good title??
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
How about Jenny's Number Two? Oh, perhaps not...
Anyway. I've already got it filed as Jenny Smith's. I like the last three bars now. Next!
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by gam
Re: Composition Feedback
Thanks, gam. I am honored that you would take the time to learn it
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
I wouldn't transpose it to A dorian. It sounds alot like Farewell to Erin in the first part, especially if you start on the low A. Keep it in D.
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by Deise
Re: Composition Feedback
How 'bout 'Jenny's Cobbler', 'cause it's got bits of this 'n that in it!
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Composition Feedback
Good call, Deise. I was wondering if I had ripped off another tune somewhere....I think I'll stick with either D or E dor
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
nice one, fiddlerdan! Jenny's Cobbler it is (for now at least.....
)
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by jsmith
Re: Composition Feedback
No prob. It's easy to do when you've got tunes going round in your head. A little altering of a few notes in the first part could sort that out. Keep up the good work!
# Posted on July 25th 2010 by Deise