To the casual observer, what we know as “a session” is just a bunch of musicians playing diddley music in a pub. And for the novice musician attending a session for the very first time, it probably feels more like a jungle.
But to the regular session-goer, a session is neither of these things. It’s really a human zoo. And – just like a normal zoo – it contains a collection of many different species. I’ve attempted to classify these species below. All “tongue in cheek”, of course! Also please note that my classification is not intended to be sexist in any way – where I’ve stated or implied the male of the species, the female of the species could also apply.
Of course, not all species are found in all zoos. And the distinction between the species is not always clear - sometimes one species can acquire the characteristics of another, or even mutate into a different species.
Denizens of the “Session Human Zoo”
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The Session Mainstay – Regular at the session, there most weeks. Might favour a particular chair - perhaps sitting next to one of the other session mainstays. Has a large repertoire, and is always adding to it. Capable of leading tunesets with crisp changes between tunes without any fumbling. If you have two or more session mainstays at a session, it should be a good session. No session mainstays, and it probably won’t be.
The Participant – Probably a regular at the session. Plays along quite happily and nicely with most of the tunesets started by others, but rarely (or never) leads a set himself.
The Session King – flash player, perhaps plays in a performance band. In terms of talent and technical skill, a few levels above that of the average session mainstay, although his tune repertoire may actually be smaller. Likes to play difficult and/or fashionable tunes, often in other than the one/two/three sharp keys. Not necessarily a regular at the session, but when the SK does turn up, the session mainstays defer to him, and they become more reluctant to start tunesets.
The Session Crown Prince – similar to the Session King, but with a somewhat lower level of talent and skill. He admires the style of the Session King, and makes a fair attempt at emulating it. But he also has a few fierce tunesets of his own – perhaps in the hope that one day he might knock the Session King off his perch. But as the playing skills of the Session King and the Session Crown Prince usually improve at the same rate, this rarely happens.
The Tune Pouncer - Allows only a fraction of a microsecond to elapse from someone else’s set before launching into a tune. Sometimes screws up, as he doesn’t always cotton on that the person who started the previous set hadn’t actually completed it.
The Minuteman – likes to have a more-or-less continuous flow of music throughout the session. He’ll be quite happy for someone else to start a set, but if nobody does after a minute, he’ll launch into a new one.
The Deferrer – Unassuming type. Likes to be absolutely sure than nobody is about to play before striking up. Occasionally gets to start a set, but is usually beaten to it by the Tune Pouncer or the Minuteman.
The Tuneset Hogger – plays a whole string of sets, one set straight after another giving nobody else a look-in.
The Expert Jammer – plays along competently with tunes that he doesn’t know (providing that they are not too difficult) without causing problems for the other musicians or for the session as a whole.
The Incompetent Jammer – plays along incompetently with (from the very first bar) tunes he doesn’t know, no matter how difficult - thus causing problems for the other musicians and for the session as a whole.
The Tune Snob – Liable to make an acid remark and/or to roll eyes in the air and/or put instrument down and/or go to the bar and/or go out for a smoke if someone starts a tune that is too well-known and/or is too easy and/or too slow and/or is not Irish.
The Tuneset Virgin – The most likely person to start the kind of tune likely to trigger the characteristic behaviour of the Tune Snob.
The Tuneset Bungler – Has practised up a tuneset in advance, but when playing it at the session his nerves get the better of him. Possibly comes to a grinding halt after the first tune, or maybe realises all too late that he is playing the “A” part of one tune and the “B” part of another. Sometimes able to finish the set following appeals for help from one of the Session Mainstays.
The Predictable Setter – Starts a good variety of tunesets when you first see him at a session, giving you the impression that he is a musician with a large repertoire. But when you encounter him at a second or subsequent session, it’s those same tunesets again, and with the tunes in those sets exactly in the same order.
The Surprise Setter – Quite likely to be a session mainstay type. Experienced enough to start first tune of a set without giving any prior thought about the tune(s) to follow. He just works it out “on the fly” – you rarely know what’s coming next.
The Consulter – keen to start a tuneset, but terrified that nobody will join in. To avoid this situation, he always seeks the agreement from other musicians about the set content before starting.
The Innovator – Also likes to consult with other musicians about possible tunesets, but, (unlike the Consulter), is a confident musician. His motives are in any case different, as they are prompted by the motive of wanting to keep the session “alive” by the continuous introduction of new material.
The Cribsheeter – Never starts a tuneset without having first glanced at a sheet of paper. What’s on that sheet of paper? Who knows, it might be a list of tunes, the abcs of the first few notes of a tune or even a music score. If the cribsheeter is under 35, the aide memoire is more likely to be a BlackBerry, and IPhone or some other electronic device.
The Recorder – Poor musical memory, with the seemingly added handicap of being unable to learn tunes from tunebooks, recordings or other external resources. Therefore needs to resort to recording (sometimes furtively) the music of the session using a tape recorder, mobile phone or other electronic device.
The Gangster – Not a regular at the session, but when he does turn up it’s usually with his mates who he normally plays with at a different pub. The evening is then tends to be dominated by the gang from the other session, and with the tunes that they normally play there.
The Newcomer – Has learned a few tunes from his tutor or maybe at a workshop, and has decided to try a “real session”. Arrives early, finds himself a seat, and gets his instrument out of its case. However, when session gets going, quickly realises that he is totally outclassed, and has no chance whatsover of joining in. What to do? Leaving the pub only a short while after taking your instrument out of its case might look rather lame, whereas hanging in there but not playing might be equally embarrassing. Catch 22! Usually sneaks away when the session is busy and in full swing, hoping that no-one will notice.
The Mimer – A rare species. Never leads tunesets and (if sitting some distance from you in the circle) can easily perceived as being a Participant. However, if he is sitting right next to you, you will quickly realise that (although he is moving his fingers), he’s not actually producing a single note!
The Partner – non-musician, usually wife or girlfriend of one of the musicians. Sits in the circle next to her musician all evening, quite often without saying a word.
So, what sayest you, sessionites? Do you recognise any (or all) of the session “species” that I’ve listed above? Are there any species that I have failed to list?
Excellent Taxonomy, Mix. It's like reading the DSM-IV where you go, "Oh, balls. That's me!"
I think there are a few species you haven't yet included.
The New Age Hippie -- Attends sessions because the whole "Celtic music" thing fits into his New Agey world-view. Joining your sessions means he is connecting to the Druids of ancient Ireland. If he knows any tunes at all, it will be the Lonesome Boatman which he will play badly on the whistle or recorder. He might play the bodhran or some other percussion implement, the ocarina, the didjeridoo, or any combination thereof.
The Session Hijacker -- A newcomer at your session, who doesn't let the fact that he hasn't introduced himself to anyone or joined in any of your sets stop him from jumping in and playing set after set the whole night. Because he is better than you all anyway.
The Walking Stick -- Like the insect of the same name, he sits in the middle of the session but hides so effectively that no one notices him. Inconspicuously strums a guitar or plays quietly along on tunes he knows on something like a whistle or mandolin. Never says a word to anyone or starts a set of tunes himself.
The Alcoholic -- Usually a skilled player with a decent repertoire when he's sober, but can't make it through a whole session without becoming blind drunk, turning into an a*rsehole, and getting thrown out of the pub by the management.
The Care in the Community Service User -- A subspecies of the Walking Stick. Hangs around the session inconspicuously (hopefully) noodling on his instrument of choice because by doing so, he gets some kind of social interaction without having to talk to anybody. If he is of the more aggressive variety, he will demand to sing his songs and the chances of him actually being a good singer are minimal.
The Wild Rover -- Usually plays the guitar and thinks a session is an open mike night, an invitation for anyone who sings or plays anything remotely Irish to participate. His repertoire is mostly derived from the Pogues, Flogging Molly, and Van Morrison. The punters love him, since that is what they really want to hear as well.
The Dictator -- The unquestioned leader of any session he plays in. He is a skilled player with a massive repertoire. He makes a point of starting most sets and when he wants someone else to start a set, he asks them to do it. Woe to any musician who starts a set without the Dictator's permission.
The Incompetent Dictator -- Same behaviour as the Dictator, but doesn't have the skill or the repertoire to back it.
I think you've got it covered there -- brilliant. Maybe you could add The Millstone:- as soon as you play a few notes he grabs your arm and says 'Hang on -- what key's that?' or 'Wait a minute till I get this thing in tune', or anything else that stops you playing rather than just join in himself, and risk messing it up.
The Likes to Hear the Sound of Own Voice -- likes a good chat between sets which is fine in itself but does this repeatedly and fails to notice other participants sort of losing the thread after several minutes and getting itchy fingers. Eventually sort of silenced when someone puts a few notes together and everyone else quickly joins in.
The session zoo seem to be very lax with their breeding programme. I (and most people I know) am obviously a mongrel, cross bred from at least four species.
DSM-IV is the fourth revision of the Big Book of Things That Can Go Wrong With Your Head, according to the Headshrinker's Union. DSM-IV is the fourth revision. I think this is the revision in which homosexuality stopped being a mental disorder.
It's fun reading - if you read it literally, everyone you know can be diagnosed with some serious condition, usually requiring lots of heavy psychotropics.
Myx that is definitely the poo flinging monkey- The the self entitled fiddler who considers his or herself good enough to join in on any tune, and 'help out' by noodling unsolicited harmonies, or drones especially when there is a song or an air being played beautifully by someone else, or a tune set started up that the monkey hasn't bothered to learn properly.
The wannabe - Tam O'Shanter cap, billy-goat beard like the mascot at Notre Dame, Dropkick Murphys T-shirt. Always American. Describes entire family tree to every native born Irish person he meets to validate connection to ancestral homeland. Plays Rakes of Mallow on a whistle, then drinks heavily the rest of the evening.
The Jokester - Can play riffs from My Sharona, Led Zepp, and other famous pop tunes in between sets. Knows 5,000 Irish/English/Scottish jokes and tells them in their regional accents. Can "burp-sing" Wild Rover. Often found near bar hitting on waitress.
Well, now that the lid has been lifted on "the inmates", what about their keepers, then - i.e. the landlords, landladies, barmen and barmaids that (sometimes) feed and water the inmates, (and sometimes don't). Can they be classified, too?
And no-one has yet mentioned the zoo visitors - i.e. "the punters" - they also come in all shapes and sizes ....
Well, near the Top of the Punter food chain for your average afternoon session has to be Mother Mary Margaret - you all know her - she's seen Quiet Man 374 times, weeps instantly at the sound of Danny Boy, and always walks up to the edge of the session during the best set of the night and requests it be sung.
Second would be Frat Boy - they always travel in a pack, sit near the session and demand the TV be turned up so they can watch the sporting events. Yell pointlessly and drink too much.
This is way more fun than finding out better ways to constitute mental disorders than 19th and 20th century classification schemes.
The Multitasker-- Seems to suffer from ADHD. He can't stay in his chair for more than one or two tune sets. Constantly getting up to flit about, go out for a fag, visit the bar, chat to anyone who's willing to listen, especially members of the opposite (or possibly the same, depending on the Multitasker's predilictions) sex.
The Fussy Tuner -- Constantly tunes and retunes his instrument. Even stops playing mid-tune to faff with his tuning. Worries constantly about being out of tune. Always trying to tune between sets or during other people's sets.
The Fussy Tuner by Proxy -- Just as anxious about being out of tune but believes that the offender is always someone else in the session.
Emily - I always just say "member of the preferred sex", just to make things easier.
There's also
The Specialist In Everything - comes in with half a dozen instruments, can't decide which one to play on a given tune, changes around in the middle of every set.
The Specialist in Everything is often also:
The Goer - wants to "have a go" on everyone's instrument. Often knows a handful of tunes on a bunch of instruments, none of them well.
Ha! Silver Spear. Your newly-notified species reminds me of another:
The-Good-Enough-for-Folker - Plays a tuneable instrument but never bothers to check its tuning So it's usually about a quarter of a semitone out. Typical quote: "Well, it was in tune when I checked it last Tuesday!"
The Place Holder -- He is happy as Larry sitting in the middle of the session all night surrounded the music. The fact that he is not participating other than as a listener and meanwhile there are musicians sitting in an outer circle simply does not occur to him.
The American Idol -- Believes a session is the place to show off his immense vocal talent. Comes over to the session and asks to sing. Expects everyone to be riveted. Sometimes this species is in fact a great singer and provides a welcome break from the tunes. More commonly, they're not.
The Shane McGowan Fan -- Approaches the session and requests Pogues songs. Usually unappreciative of the fact that the only thing an Irish music session and Shane McGowan share is an association with a certain small European country.
The Taker - Related to the "Goer" - when you get back from the bar, you discover that he's picked up your instrument and is playing it without even as much as a prior "by your leave" ...
And here we can enter into the natural history of this system. These creatures display some amazingly crative behaviors at times! For example, a Fussy Tuner or a Fussy Tuner By Proxy can sometimes be seen feigning the behavior of the Goer, so he can get the Good-Enough-For-Folker's instrument in his hands long enough to fix the tuning. And sometimes an American Idol will molt and become a Wild Rover (who, during tunes, is more or less a Place Holder!)
The Melancholic -- After listening quietly and politely to the session for a while, proceeds to tell the musicians sitting nearest a sad story about his life and explain how hearing this amazing music has been the best thing that has happened to him in ten years. Once he begins telling you how amazing you are, he doesn't stop.
The Wildlife Photographer -- He takes liberal photos and videos of the session. There has been an epidemic of this very invasive species ever since digital cameras became smaller and easier to use and most mobile phones also acquired video recording capacity. Be careful of this species. You might find yourself unknowingly on YouTube.
The Night-Clubber -- He starts girating wildly to the music. Usually harmless unless he careens into your pint or your instrument.
The Happy Party-Goer -- He always travels in a herd. They sit as close to the session as they can and spend the entire night engaged in an extremely loud conversation and drink heavily. You learn everything there is to know about their past sexual exploits but have no idea what tune the musician next to is trying to play, or what tune you are playing.
Ah yes, "The Place Holder" which brings to mind another species - "The Place Grabber". Well, you got to the session early to get a good seat, didn't you? And you've been sitting there most of the evening, haven't you? But you need to go to the bar to get a drink. Bar is busy, so it's a little while before your able to get back to your seat. Shouldn't be a problem though, your coat's on the back of the chair, and you instrument's on the table in front of it ....
But when you get back, your seat has been taken. The culprit? - "The Place Grabber"!
Are in fact the same person. This individual; is the expert jammer in their own mind, to everyone else they are the incompetent jammer. 99% of the time anyway. You can often tell wehn someone is going into Jammer mode by the fact that they reach for a tin whistle even though that isn't their primary instrument under the deluded fancy that a whistle is somehow less obtrusive.
I'd also add
The Session Grump -- thinks ever act of social contact with a non-regular is to be scoled at. All requests should not only be denied but scornfully so. Visiting musicians are usurpers. Often takes opinions from this website at face value as the gospel truth for real life sessions.
Another punter species, a specimen of which oldstrings and I had the indistinct pleasure of encountering the other night:
The Advisor: approaches the musicians between sets to offer helpful tips on how to make the music more enjoyable to the listener. Common suggestions involve featuring that drum player more often, getting another guitarist, playing happier "songs", and maybe not playing the same tune over and and over again. The advisor openly and proudly admits that they don't know much about this music; however, they know what they like. The advisor may be upset if you do not accept their advice graciously, declaring that they are just trying to be helpful. While the musicians generally feel only contempt for the advisor, many take inspiration from this type as the former, for instance, are moved figure out how many consecutive Emin slip jigs they can play before exhausting their repertoire.
The Melody Player with a Bodhran - Related to pitchforks' jammer description, though instead of a whistle the offending party will pull out a bodhran and play, poorly. This creature is also known as The Bodhran Player Who Should Know Better.
The Camper -- A variant of the Newcomer, the Camper is a Participant who arrives several hours early, often pitching tent and eating a meal or two to stake out a coveted seat in the ''inner circle''.
The Roadrunner -- A person whose playing gradually speeds up as the set progresses, so that by the end of the set the music is going at breakneck speed.
The Tasmanian Devil -- A whirling dervish of energy, this session regular plays every set he/she starts extremely fast. Because he/she can!
The Tortoise -- A virtual opposite to the Tasmanian Devil, the Tortoise starts tunes/sets at a much slower speed, primarily due to the fact he/she is a relative beginner on his/her instrument or a relative newcomer to traditional music.
The Collector -- This unusual person always interrupts the flow seconds after the music stops to ask the names of the tunes. Usually armed with pen and paper, he/she writes the names of the tunes down, thus 'collecting' them for his/her very own! If under 35, the collector may be seen using an electronic recording device in lieu of pen and paper.
The Historian -- This session maven knows all the names to the tunes, who recorded them when and where, and has encyclopedic knowledge of all things musically arcane.
The Craic Addict -- This unusual bird comes to the session more for the craic than for the music. Rarely starting sets, this person revels in the chit-chat and latest goings on between plays.
The Punter -- This character--and every session seems to have one--is part of the 'peanut gallery' of revelers at the bar, imbibing Guiness or other such adult beverage. More often than not, the punter is wholly absorbed in the soccer/hurling/sports match on the overhead telly. The fact that the session is occuring is completely lost to his/her ignorance and level of inebriation. Usually staggers over the where the session is going on and requests Danny Boy, MacNamera's Band, Riverdance, or Irish Rebellion Songs. Cheers wildly for the bodhran player(s), while deaf to the music.
Roadrunning is a such a common ailment. Countless sessions around the world are harmed weekly by this disease. There must be something we can do. I've been really upset about this recently. Think of the children!
Agreed, SWFL Fiddler, and I'll even offer up our most recent Advisor. Hilariously, when she our approached our group the other day, she addressed our best fiddler - who also happens to be our most quick-witted and caustic musician, who proceeded to chew up our Advisor and spit her out.
To wit: Fiddler - "What do you mean, happier music? That tune we just played [Kid on the Mountain] is the happiest tune in all of Ireland? I just don't know what you're talking about."
Advisor: "It's sad! It's so depressing! [blah blah blah]"
Fiddler [offering the Advisor her fiddle and bow]: "Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but why don't you give us an example of the kind of music you mean?"
Advisor: [lectures fiddler on manners, storms off in a huff]
The Creep -- Hits on and at worst, attempts to grope, the female musicians at a session. Often a cause of Session Grumps, since a certain level of hostility is the only thing that keeps them away.
The Ponytail - Once saw a picture of Dónal Lunny (c. 1976) and reckoned that a bouzouki was the way to a woman's heart, not realizing that, to quote one seasoned Bothy Band observer, it was always 'Paddy who got the lookers'. The Ponytail spends much of his summers lugging his bouzouki from festival to festival along Ireland's west coast.
The Gnat -- A pesky little pest, this session goer plays with so much ornamentation that there are more rolls than melody to his/her playing. Cramming cuts, crans, pops, and rolls into every conceivable orifice of the tune, while constantly buzzing around the melody notes but never actually hitting them, this annoying player irritates others with ornamental overkill. Somebody swat this bug already!
Bronstein, you have defamed me and I'll see you in court !
It's not true I spend my summers lugging my bouzouki from festival to festival around Ireland; England maybe. Anyway, I have a wife to keep me in check.
PS I can no longer offer to stand-in for Willie Nelson, he's cut his hair !
The Performer - Who, out of the blue, will decide that the entire session wants to sit around and listen to a soulful air, or the latest obscure tune in Bm that nobody else has a prayer of knowing.
The Bard - Always has a song ready. Loves to sing in Irish. If kept unchecked, the bard attracts others, and the session becomes a sing-along.
The One Person Band - Is always the last to leave, because it takes a long time to pack up the 7 instruments!
The POET (Play On Every Tune) - Can't stand the idea of not participating, so every single piece of music is either played, or accompanied by the POET, whether it be fiddling harmony on an an air, or playing the shakey egg on a strathspey. This is a major cause of The One Person Band.
The Master of None - Often a One Person Band and/or POET. Can pick up and play just about any instrument known to man, but is barely competent, at best, with any of them.
The Prodigy - Picked up uilleann pipes at age 9. Was teaching in festivals by 15. Started playing fiddle last week, but is already better than you. Often burns out by age 20, and isn't interested in playing anymore, because there's no inspiration left.
The Mother Teresa of Kumbaya- obsessively checks with all present before starting a set to be sure that everyone knows all the tunes in the set and has no special dietary needs or physical limitations. Always throws in a good number of waltzes and random old-time crossovers during the course of the evening so that everyone feels validated and included. Twitters appreciatively after even the most awful rendition of [insert appalling song name here]. Will mime Fussy Tuner behavior if necessary to nudge intonation offender into action. Is known to revert to Acid-Tongued Session Witch form in privacy of own den.
Usually found at a fleadh or other such festival.
The Ignorant Arsehole : Session is going grand in the pub but he decides to start another one a little a bit away.
The Camp-fire Circle Wannabe -- Insists on going around the circle, with each person in turn playing "their" song or "their" tune. Related to Batlady's Mother Teresa of Kumbaya.
The Mean Girls -- They travel in small herds and tightly control the dynamics of their session. Newcomers must hang on the edge of the session until they decide whether the newcomer is worthy of inclusion, or not. Frequently involved in complicated session politics which may or may not include CCE. They have an ever lengthening list of musicians and pubs with whom they have fallen out. Not necessarily female.
The Team Captain -- Your session can't live without him. Until he walks through the door with his instrument, the rest of you sit around the table desultorily drinking your pints, wondering who will start a tune and kick this thing off. Once the Team Captain shows up, you know you'll have a good night.
The Tune Wikipedia -- He never p*sses anybody off, ever. The one player at the session everyone likes. Mostly because he doesn't say that much to anyone. He doesn't start many sets himself but he knows all the tunes, even the most obscure ones, and quietly and competently plays along on almost every set.
And more punters...
The Pub Furniture -- Shows up at the session every single week. Listens intently. Never appears to have any pals in the pub as he is never seen talking anybody. Never talks to the musicians, either. But seems happy enough listening quietly, week in and week out.
The Six String Parasite -- Always asks to borrow people's guitars. Never shows up with his own instrument. Frequently bewildered when informed said guitar is in DADGAD.
This is a great thread, and here are some more species:
The Symbiote: Like in nature, where a symbiote helps keep its host digesting food properly, or keeps it free of parasites, this creature, while not playing melody, fits seamlessly into a session. Playing instruments like guitars, bouzoukis and bodhrans, Symbiotes enhance the music and the rhythm, adding color and interest to the tunes, and bringing everything up a notch. Very beneficial in small numbers, Symbiotes in large numbers can overwhelm the host, however, and work best when there are only one or two of them around.
The Parasite: A Parasite plays the same instruments as a Symbiote, but lacks the taste and discernment to know how to complement the tunes. This lack of awareness also causes Parasites to believe that they are actually Symbiotes.
Thank you for posting this Mix. I thought this was one of the funniest discussions I have read on here.
SilverSpear, I have discovered that someone put me on YouTube unknowingly.
As for which species I might be, what comes closest to describing me is a cross between and/or a combination of the "Participant", the "Symbiote", and the "Tune Wikipedia".
was laughing about this today, have maybe a couple more?
The Bo-Peep: Shows up with a flock of students, and admirers, who as a collective group control the session, until they have completed a recital. This can be handy as it gives everyone a chance to learn whatever was taught at the latest workshop or camp, without having to pay the fee.
Pinky's up girls:(aka Local Symphony out slumming) they have really stiff bodies, fingers, and use broad vibrato, and typically show up smiling and winking as if everyone is really glad they arrived. Also travel in groups usually only one member of the group insists on playing though, while the rest seem to sense the cool welcome and choose to join the punters.
cboody, that would be a subspecies of the Blue-Grassed Martin. Travels with sheaves of lyric sheets, complete with chords, and will share, forcefully, with everyone present.
@cboody - well, Im glad that you enjoyed the thread! But to answer your question, my (unposted) taxonomy listed 20 species and 85 sub-species. I had "Any Chord and Any Rhythm Will Do Guitarist" listed as a sub-species of "incompentent Jammer"....
The Rhino -- Known for their thick skin, sometimes called The Enforcer, this session goer agrees to play the role of session cop/bad guy/heavy. He/she has a thick skin and has no qualms about telling a clueless obnoxious git ruining the session to stop playing and/or leave.
Mix O' Lydian -- LOL !
At one particular session our Enforcer is the guitarist. He ensures that 'too many beat(er)s won't 'spoil the broth'. Has no problem with keeping drunken punter-wannabe blues guitar players from hijacking the session.
Actually, I see a bit of me in quite a few of the descriptions but I don't think it necessarily makes me a bad person.
However, I frequently seem to fall into this category...
"The Deferrer – Unassuming type. Likes to be absolutely sure than nobody is about to play before striking up. Occasionally gets to start a set, but is usually beaten to it by the Tune Pouncer or the Minuteman."
Of course, it's my own fault.... before I get accused of bleating again!!!
Aye, I see a bit of me in quite a lot of these as well. Depends on the night and the session.
A few more yet....
The Chameleon -- He is normally a Bluegrass/Old Time/Classical/Jazz player but has, through careful study and lots of musical talent, mastered Irish music. You would never know the difference. He could have come from the deepest heart of Clare.
The Jack of all Tunes -- He is of similar appearance to the Chameleon, like the venemous coral snake is of similar appearance to the harmless milk snake. He's not harmless, either. He plays Bluegrass/Old Time/Classical/Jazz and believes that qualifies him to play Irish music without having ever listened to any of it. Plays all tunes like Bluegrass/Old Time/Classical/Jazz tunes. Often a crossbreed with the Incompetent Jammer. These crossbreeds are dangerous, as they will start doing Bluegrass chops or Jazz harmonies to tunes they don't know.
The Neurotic -- He is extremely high strung at sessions and is excessively anxious about making mistakes. Believes that he is a terrible musician and that everyone else in the session only just tolerates him (regardless of what the reality may actually be). Worries that all of his fellow musicians will remember when he played the B part of Lucy Campbell's with the A part of the Bucks of Oranmore at that session five weeks ago. Can play well when relaxed, but prone to freaking out, bolting like a spooked horse, and becoming a Roadrunner.
The Delusional -- At the opposite end of the spectrum to the Neurotic. He is an unsteady player with a small repertoire but believes he is the best thing that ever happened to his instrument.
@John J Returns - see that you have "Returned" to answer my question ....
But your answer is in any case was "safe" one, as no-one ever objects to having a "Deferrer" at a session! ...
But who said anything about "good" or "bad"? In the animal kingdom, a lion might prey on an antelope, but that wouldn't make him a "bad" animal, would it? ...
The Lifter -- this guy/lass does a power of work in the musical and wider community, a widely known and liked figure. Often a non-player or limited musician, nonetheless they give a session a welcome boost when they turn up.
The Musician Repelling Workmates/Relatives -- These are not strictly a session species more of an vagrant that turns up announced or otherwise to listen. As if by magic the appearance of the MRW/R ensures that the none of the session regulars actually turn up apart from yourself.
The Random Emailer -- Rarely sighted, this shy and retiring species introduces themselves before the session by way of an email - "hello, is the session on? I'm J___ a ___ player. Would it be ok to sit in?" - only to never actually turn up despite assurances of welcome.
Bodhrans, eh - John Returns - interesting that no-one's yet submitted a category ...
I would suggest "Bodhran Basher", but would this mean someone who "bashes a bodhran" - or would it refer to someone who "bashes" someone who bashes a bodhran?
The Session Patron -- a guy, usually older, but has money and takes it upon himself to make sure the musicians have a drink and always buys a round for the session when he shows up.
Hey, ramblingpitch - I responded to yet another of "those" emails only this week! The enquirer didn't trouble to reply to my detailed (and welcoming) email - and - guess what - he didn't show up either!
Not worthy to be included in the taxonomy though - they never show! ....
They might still show up but keep quiet about having made contact. It seems a bit rude though and I daresay you'd soon spot a new face.
I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned "The Photographer" or even worse, the "You Tube" man.
He/she will often insist that "everyone plays" to ensure a good picture. Quite irritating if we move on to a lesser known tune or one of us wants to have a rest.
The Nagger -- He hovers around nearby and when you are not joining in on a set because you don't know the tune, he insist, "Come on, play. Why aren't you playing? Come ON, play!" Even if you explain that you don't know the tune, he continues demanding that you play anyway.
Our session patron is a lovely guy... mad for the music, and extremely generous. Here's how he came to be: he asked me one night about 20 years ago if the bar provided our drinks, and I told him it was discretionary and sometimes we do and most of the time we don't. He went to the publican, a stern belfast man, and said he thought the musicians should get free drinks. The publican looked back with an expression that could only be described as delighted indignation; he couldn't believe he was being asked such a thing but couldn't wait to respond to this outlandish suggestion... and he said, "You think they deserve a free drink do you?" and yur man says, "yes I do" and the publican says, "you buy them drinks then" and that's exactly what our patron did, and continues to do to this day. We're currently discussing having a big party for him as he's getting on in years and we want to celebrate his generosity and love of the music before it's too late.
John J - in the example that I cited, at the session concerned we always welcome a newcomer, ask him/her how he/she found out about the session, introduce ourselves individually etc. Of course, if they turned up at the pub with their instrument very well hidden and/or didn't join the circle, maybe we would never know ...
Hopefully I will be filling the" Bodhran Basher" (in the playing terms at least) and "Gangster" slots there as the plan is to drag down a few of the "Prodigies" from St James and St Rochs CCEs - That would probably put them into the "Mean Girls" category (except they are all boys). With my skin, the "Rhino" category might apply as well
Hey Phantom - it might be wise to keep the location of your seesion pub a closely-guarded secret - If "Star Trek's" transporter machine ever becomes a reality, you might be inundated with 60,000+ musicians turning up! ...
Ringo Starr -- He shows up at your session with every percussion instrument known to man. Bodhrans, bongos, tambourines, shakey things, maracas, djembes, you name it. Plays elaborate rhythms on every set, including slow airs, which may or may not be related to the rhythm of the tunes.
Mix~ Can't say that any of your links are like our Enforcer. He's just a damn good DADGAD guitarist who knows the tunes. His wife plays flute, so he learned the tunes from her. His passion for good music enables him to reject anything less than the best it can be.
The Candid Camera Guy -- A variant on the Photographer, who seems to have that rare talent of being able to take the worst possible picture of you while playing or talking (usually taken while eating or drinking). Think bad hair day crossed with a ridiculous facial expression crossed with catching you in the middle of something unexpected. Precisely two hours after the session, expect all the most revealing and unflattering photos to be posted on Facebook, or worse yet, youtube for the whole world to see. In the case of posting youtube footage, the Candid Camera guy has the magic ability to capture the exact moment when you flubbed the roll on the one tune in the set you weren't sure of after you'd had one too many to drink, thus ensuring you go down in history appearing like a confounded nincompoop!
The RenFair Reenactor – related to the new-age hippie except these folks like to wear kilts. They usually play bodhran or recorder.
Ersatz Culchie: Arran jumper, tweed cap, corduroys and brogans. Occasionally lapse into a wincingly fake Irish accent to say “Aye, laddie” and wink. Tend to play guitar, badly.
The Noodler -- A competent session player, this person usually starts sets by noodling random batches of notes until he/she hits a batch of notes that sound like something somebody else knows. Hard to distinguish random noodles from gas. As soon as someone else recognizes said noodles as something remotely resembling a tune, he/she jumps in with the Noodler and another improbable set begins. Not to be confused with...
The Snippeteer -- Usually a session leader, the Snippeteer plays little snatchets of the tunes to let others know what's coming up in the next set. Helpful for guitarists who might want to know about any sudden key changes when tunes change in the set.
The Human Jukebox - Always has a tune at the ready. Instead of money in the slot, all it takes to start him playing is a shrug of the shoulders, if you can't think of another tune to play. He'll chime in with a tune, but like many jukeboxes, he has a list of top tunes that are played more often than others.
The Former Master - Used to rule the roost, and is a very accomplished player. But life gets in the way, and the Former Master doesn't play as much anymore. People are always glad to see him when he shows up, but he's never comfortable with his playing, because he remembers how good he used to be.
The Pipe Major -- Of the same genus as the New Age Hippie and RenFair Reenactor, except he shows up at the session in full Highland dress and plays the Highland pipes. You really do not want one of these at your session.
The Nuclear Engineer -- Always an uilleann piper. Spends the entire evening taking his pipes apart, putting them back together, taking them apart, wrapping things with hemp, unwrapping them, twiddling endlessly with the blue tack and regulators. He might play a tune but you would be lucky indeed if that actually happened.
The Luddite -- He likes his tunes played a steady pace and could give a lecture on Paddy Canny, Paddy Fahy, Paddy O'Brien, and Paddy Carty. Dislikes include new tunes, fast tunes, Scottish tunes, Shetland tunes, in fact any tune that isn't from Clare or East Galway, accompanists in any form, electronic tuners, mobile phones, and the internet, Unlikely to be seen on thesession.org but you know him if he's at your session.
The Walter Mitty -- the guy (nearly always a guy) that lives out a fantasy life in tales told to sessioneers. Trouble is he's long ago been rumbled by telling mutually contadictory stories at other local sessions. Often rather creepy. Make sure he doesn't get to near any teenage females without warning them.
The Catalyst - the musician who knows how every tune begins. Catalysts' skill levels tend to range from below average to marginal; however, they often rise to a standing far above their contribution to the quality of music played because the more experienced (and, often, much older) participants would not be able to start a single tune without the catalysts' assistance.
I see myself in nearly all of these examples, at least to some degree.
Here's another;
The Lilter- Very nervous type, lilts loudly, out of tune and out of time, while playing rather frantically/sloppily. Appears not to be aware he's doing it and gets offended when others give up on trying to play along with him.
The Consulter – keen to start a tuneset, but terrified that nobody will join in. To avoid this situation, he always seeks the agreement from other musicians about the set content before starting.
The Innovator – Also likes to consult with other musicians about possible tunesets, but, (unlike the Consulter), is a confident musician. His motives are in any case different, as they are prompted by the motive of wanting to keep the session “alive” by the continuous introduction of new material.
Fiddlerdan's "snippiteer" is actually a redundancy since it was already described above, assuming the consultation involves various ways of communicating what tunes are being suggested.
The Classical Violinist - has heard, or heard about, Irish fiddle music and turns up at a session out of curiosity. Not all that common, but most of the ones I've met soon realise that there is far more to it than they thought and either apply themselves to it or decide it's not for them and go away. Some of those who do apply themselves to it may find it needs more time than they had bargained for, and this may clash with their classical commitments, so a difficult choice has to be made (the Menuhin Syndrome). Then there are the others who just don't get it with Irish fiddle and treat it as a form of classical playing ... the less said the better!
I think I should make it clear that by "Classical Violinist" I'm not necessarily referring to someone who once played in the school orchestra (many of us have) and then a few years later comes back into fiddle playing via the sessions (generally no great problem there). No ... by "Classical Violinist" I mean someone as an adult who is seriously into classical playing, either as an amateur or a professional, and it is at least a fairly significant part of his or her musical life.
The Technician - again not all that common - usually a fiddle player who is obsessed with perfection of technique to the exclusion of everything else. May very possibly deliver the goods at the technical level. Likely also to be a Neurotic. "Human Midi Player" would be a fairly accurate description.
The Rock-n-Roll guitarist. Asks to sit in, insisting that he can "find chords" for any sort of music. May actually be a skilled guitarist in his natural habitat. If allowed to sit in for lack of session Rhinos, generally fails to choose appropriate ITM chords. May or may not realize that chord choices are poor because he doesn't actually listen to ITM. Can be scared back into his natural habitat with enough slip jigs.
The Bluegrass Bassist. Species most often found at folk festivals. Closely related to the Rock-n-Roll guitarist, thinks Irish session is a "jam". Backs reels with a horribly tedious I-V-I-V but tends to cause less overall damage than the guitarist. Similarly, can be scared back into his natural bluegrass habitat with enough slip jigs.
The Tourist. Went to Ireland and returned with either a bodhran or a penny whistle. Waxes rhapsodic about ITM and asks to join the session. Tourists should be encouraged to seek instruction before joining the session because if allowed to play, they are revealed as Incompetent Jammers.
@All - don't know whether anyone spotted it, but my inspiration for this thread (and its title) was a book on human behaviour by Desmond Morris entitled: "The Human Zoo".
Sandy Bottoms~ I actually got to experience a Bo Peep at a session a month ago. A mother stopped by our session with her two children, who happened to be taking fiddle lessons from the session leader. As this was at a pub/restaurant, and the time being on a Sunday afternoon, we were happy to include the two aspiring fiddle kids into our circle. We asked what tunes they knew. Turns out they could play 4 tunes at half-speed so we all played with them at their tempo. They were very polite and respectful, and they thanked us for giving them a chance to play (no doubt their mother and teacher taught them session etiquette). They packed up their fiddles and left shortly later, leaving us all with a warm fuzzy glow inside. It felt like we were all ambassadors of Irish traditional music that afternoon, and by letting the kids play with us we were modeling all the great things of what a session can be to a future generation of traditional Irish musicians.
The Perfectionist- a subdivision of of the Session King. Plays with great style and technical skill, but turns out his repertoire isn't all that big. Usually have no trouble starting tunes, because the ones they do know, they could play in their sleep. Behavior/practice patterns include perfecting what they already know instead of learning new tunes.
The Teacher - an experienced musician at a session who gives good constructive advice to another player, usually a beginner or near-beginner. I've seen it happen a handful of times, and have been the grateful recipient of such advice on at least two occasions. It's usually done quietly and unobtrusively, typically at the end of the session. If fiddle, it may be advice on a problem with bowing or fingering, or on the basics of technique, or even teaching a tune, whole or in part.
Hey, lazyhound - would that not also mean adding yet another sub-species - "The Pupil" ?
Hmm ... maybe ... Participaratum Discipulus
Of course, (unlike your goodself) there might be some who might want not to listen to expert advice in that situation. So two varieties would be needed for that sub-species ....
Participaratum Discipulus Voluntaria
Participaratum Discipulus Involuntaria
Agreed AlBrown, could be the sweetest of all threads. Does the new comer kit becomes : a-pair-of-ears + session-etiquette-found-somewhere-on the-net + is-a-session-realy-a human-Zoo ? Thanks folks. +++
Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Is a session really a Human Zoo?
To the casual observer, what we know as “a session” is just a bunch of musicians playing diddley music in a pub. And for the novice musician attending a session for the very first time, it probably feels more like a jungle.
But to the regular session-goer, a session is neither of these things. It’s really a human zoo. And – just like a normal zoo – it contains a collection of many different species. I’ve attempted to classify these species below. All “tongue in cheek”, of course! Also please note that my classification is not intended to be sexist in any way – where I’ve stated or implied the male of the species, the female of the species could also apply.
Of course, not all species are found in all zoos. And the distinction between the species is not always clear - sometimes one species can acquire the characteristics of another, or even mutate into a different species.
Denizens of the “Session Human Zoo”
---------------------------------------------
The Session Mainstay – Regular at the session, there most weeks. Might favour a particular chair - perhaps sitting next to one of the other session mainstays. Has a large repertoire, and is always adding to it. Capable of leading tunesets with crisp changes between tunes without any fumbling. If you have two or more session mainstays at a session, it should be a good session. No session mainstays, and it probably won’t be.
The Participant – Probably a regular at the session. Plays along quite happily and nicely with most of the tunesets started by others, but rarely (or never) leads a set himself.
The Session King – flash player, perhaps plays in a performance band. In terms of talent and technical skill, a few levels above that of the average session mainstay, although his tune repertoire may actually be smaller. Likes to play difficult and/or fashionable tunes, often in other than the one/two/three sharp keys. Not necessarily a regular at the session, but when the SK does turn up, the session mainstays defer to him, and they become more reluctant to start tunesets.
The Session Crown Prince – similar to the Session King, but with a somewhat lower level of talent and skill. He admires the style of the Session King, and makes a fair attempt at emulating it. But he also has a few fierce tunesets of his own – perhaps in the hope that one day he might knock the Session King off his perch. But as the playing skills of the Session King and the Session Crown Prince usually improve at the same rate, this rarely happens.
The Tune Pouncer - Allows only a fraction of a microsecond to elapse from someone else’s set before launching into a tune. Sometimes screws up, as he doesn’t always cotton on that the person who started the previous set hadn’t actually completed it.
The Minuteman – likes to have a more-or-less continuous flow of music throughout the session. He’ll be quite happy for someone else to start a set, but if nobody does after a minute, he’ll launch into a new one.
The Deferrer – Unassuming type. Likes to be absolutely sure than nobody is about to play before striking up. Occasionally gets to start a set, but is usually beaten to it by the Tune Pouncer or the Minuteman.
The Tuneset Hogger – plays a whole string of sets, one set straight after another giving nobody else a look-in.
The Expert Jammer – plays along competently with tunes that he doesn’t know (providing that they are not too difficult) without causing problems for the other musicians or for the session as a whole.
The Incompetent Jammer – plays along incompetently with (from the very first bar) tunes he doesn’t know, no matter how difficult - thus causing problems for the other musicians and for the session as a whole.
The Tune Snob – Liable to make an acid remark and/or to roll eyes in the air and/or put instrument down and/or go to the bar and/or go out for a smoke if someone starts a tune that is too well-known and/or is too easy and/or too slow and/or is not Irish.
The Tuneset Virgin – The most likely person to start the kind of tune likely to trigger the characteristic behaviour of the Tune Snob.
The Tuneset Bungler – Has practised up a tuneset in advance, but when playing it at the session his nerves get the better of him. Possibly comes to a grinding halt after the first tune, or maybe realises all too late that he is playing the “A” part of one tune and the “B” part of another. Sometimes able to finish the set following appeals for help from one of the Session Mainstays.
The Predictable Setter – Starts a good variety of tunesets when you first see him at a session, giving you the impression that he is a musician with a large repertoire. But when you encounter him at a second or subsequent session, it’s those same tunesets again, and with the tunes in those sets exactly in the same order.
The Surprise Setter – Quite likely to be a session mainstay type. Experienced enough to start first tune of a set without giving any prior thought about the tune(s) to follow. He just works it out “on the fly” – you rarely know what’s coming next.
The Consulter – keen to start a tuneset, but terrified that nobody will join in. To avoid this situation, he always seeks the agreement from other musicians about the set content before starting.
The Innovator – Also likes to consult with other musicians about possible tunesets, but, (unlike the Consulter), is a confident musician. His motives are in any case different, as they are prompted by the motive of wanting to keep the session “alive” by the continuous introduction of new material.
The Cribsheeter – Never starts a tuneset without having first glanced at a sheet of paper. What’s on that sheet of paper? Who knows, it might be a list of tunes, the abcs of the first few notes of a tune or even a music score. If the cribsheeter is under 35, the aide memoire is more likely to be a BlackBerry, and IPhone or some other electronic device.
The Recorder – Poor musical memory, with the seemingly added handicap of being unable to learn tunes from tunebooks, recordings or other external resources. Therefore needs to resort to recording (sometimes furtively) the music of the session using a tape recorder, mobile phone or other electronic device.
The Gangster – Not a regular at the session, but when he does turn up it’s usually with his mates who he normally plays with at a different pub. The evening is then tends to be dominated by the gang from the other session, and with the tunes that they normally play there.
The Newcomer – Has learned a few tunes from his tutor or maybe at a workshop, and has decided to try a “real session”. Arrives early, finds himself a seat, and gets his instrument out of its case. However, when session gets going, quickly realises that he is totally outclassed, and has no chance whatsover of joining in. What to do? Leaving the pub only a short while after taking your instrument out of its case might look rather lame, whereas hanging in there but not playing might be equally embarrassing. Catch 22! Usually sneaks away when the session is busy and in full swing, hoping that no-one will notice.
The Mimer – A rare species. Never leads tunesets and (if sitting some distance from you in the circle) can easily perceived as being a Participant. However, if he is sitting right next to you, you will quickly realise that (although he is moving his fingers), he’s not actually producing a single note!
The Partner – non-musician, usually wife or girlfriend of one of the musicians. Sits in the circle next to her musician all evening, quite often without saying a word.
So, what sayest you, sessionites? Do you recognise any (or all) of the session “species” that I’ve listed above? Are there any species that I have failed to list?
The floor is yours …
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I have made a slight amendment to my membership details in the light of Mix's excellent taxonomy of session "species"
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Highjacker - never content to let a set finish without popping one of their own tunes on the end.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by johndsamuels
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey johndsamuels - you just hijacked my list! ...
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Aaah, if only I had the courage to actually do it in a session!
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by johndsamuels
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Well, johndsamuels - since "Jack" is one of the diminutives of "John", thence forward I'll' address you as "Jack" -... so here goes....

Hi, Jack! ...
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
You have to pay to enter a zoo.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Steve L
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Well the punters have to pay for their beer, don't they? And some sometimes the session denizens have to pay for *their* beer as well ...
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Excellent Taxonomy, Mix. It's like reading the DSM-IV where you go, "Oh, balls. That's me!"
I think there are a few species you haven't yet included.
The New Age Hippie -- Attends sessions because the whole "Celtic music" thing fits into his New Agey world-view. Joining your sessions means he is connecting to the Druids of ancient Ireland. If he knows any tunes at all, it will be the Lonesome Boatman which he will play badly on the whistle or recorder. He might play the bodhran or some other percussion implement, the ocarina, the didjeridoo, or any combination thereof.
The Session Hijacker -- A newcomer at your session, who doesn't let the fact that he hasn't introduced himself to anyone or joined in any of your sets stop him from jumping in and playing set after set the whole night. Because he is better than you all anyway.
The Walking Stick -- Like the insect of the same name, he sits in the middle of the session but hides so effectively that no one notices him. Inconspicuously strums a guitar or plays quietly along on tunes he knows on something like a whistle or mandolin. Never says a word to anyone or starts a set of tunes himself.
The Alcoholic -- Usually a skilled player with a decent repertoire when he's sober, but can't make it through a whole session without becoming blind drunk, turning into an a*rsehole, and getting thrown out of the pub by the management.
The Care in the Community Service User -- A subspecies of the Walking Stick. Hangs around the session inconspicuously (hopefully) noodling on his instrument of choice because by doing so, he gets some kind of social interaction without having to talk to anybody. If he is of the more aggressive variety, he will demand to sing his songs and the chances of him actually being a good singer are minimal.
The Wild Rover -- Usually plays the guitar and thinks a session is an open mike night, an invitation for anyone who sings or plays anything remotely Irish to participate. His repertoire is mostly derived from the Pogues, Flogging Molly, and Van Morrison. The punters love him, since that is what they really want to hear as well.
The Dictator -- The unquestioned leader of any session he plays in. He is a skilled player with a massive repertoire. He makes a point of starting most sets and when he wants someone else to start a set, he asks them to do it. Woe to any musician who starts a set without the Dictator's permission.
The Incompetent Dictator -- Same behaviour as the Dictator, but doesn't have the skill or the repertoire to back it.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I think you've got it covered there -- brilliant. Maybe you could add The Millstone:- as soon as you play a few notes he grabs your arm and says 'Hang on -- what key's that?' or 'Wait a minute till I get this thing in tune', or anything else that stops you playing rather than just join in himself, and risk messing it up.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by gam
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Likes to Hear the Sound of Own Voice -- likes a good chat between sets which is fine in itself but does this repeatedly and fails to notice other participants sort of losing the thread after several minutes and getting itchy fingers. Eventually sort of silenced when someone puts a few notes together and everyone else quickly joins in.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by the wounded hussar
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
A zoo, eh? So who's the waste flinging monkey?
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The session zoo seem to be very lax with their breeding programme. I (and most people I know) am obviously a mongrel, cross bred from at least four species.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by skreech
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
In all fairness, usually "The Minuteman" is simply trying to prevent yet another outburst from "The Likes to Hear the Sound of Own Voice".
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
But skreech, you didn't tell us *which* four species!
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@lazyhound - Phew! Very relieved to find that you're not a "Mimer" - or even worse, a Gangster! ....
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@Silver Spear - thanks for advising us of the additional session "species", I've though yet to meet one of the "Dictator" species (yet!)
BTW, what is DSM-IV ???
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
>New Age Hippie: He might play the bodhran or some other
>percussion implement, the ocarina, the didjeridoo, or any
>combination thereof
Ugh. Trying to picture that: "Hi, my name is Wing Moonwater, and I play the bodidjerockarina and the bodockaridjeridoo. And I also brought my djembe."
Actually, though, Wing Moonwater wouldn't say "Hi", he'd say "Namaste".
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
SWFL Fiddler "... So who's the waste flinging monkey?"
Could this be the one?
http://pics.rubylane.com/graphics/shops/traceoftime/9011.1N.jpg
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
DSM-IV is the fourth revision of the Big Book of Things That Can Go Wrong With Your Head, according to the Headshrinker's Union. DSM-IV is the fourth revision. I think this is the revision in which homosexuality stopped being a mental disorder.
It's fun reading - if you read it literally, everyone you know can be diagnosed with some serious condition, usually requiring lots of heavy psychotropics.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
DSM-IV -- The diagnostical and statistical manual of mental disorders.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
They are working on the fifth revision.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
... which is slow work with crayons as they're not allowed anything sharp.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by johndsamuels
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Myx that is definitely the poo flinging monkey- The the self entitled fiddler who considers his or herself good enough to join in on any tune, and 'help out' by noodling unsolicited harmonies, or drones especially when there is a song or an air being played beautifully by someone else, or a tune set started up that the monkey hasn't bothered to learn properly.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by SandyBottoms
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The wannabe - Tam O'Shanter cap, billy-goat beard like the mascot at Notre Dame, Dropkick Murphys T-shirt. Always American. Describes entire family tree to every native born Irish person he meets to validate connection to ancestral homeland. Plays Rakes of Mallow on a whistle, then drinks heavily the rest of the evening.
The Jokester - Can play riffs from My Sharona, Led Zepp, and other famous pop tunes in between sets. Knows 5,000 Irish/English/Scottish jokes and tells them in their regional accents. Can "burp-sing" Wild Rover. Often found near bar hitting on waitress.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Jusa Nutter Eejit
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
As recounted in this song then, SandyB ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHvYpu38MxY
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Well, now that the lid has been lifted on "the inmates", what about their keepers, then - i.e. the landlords, landladies, barmen and barmaids that (sometimes) feed and water the inmates, (and sometimes don't). Can they be classified, too?
And no-one has yet mentioned the zoo visitors - i.e. "the punters" - they also come in all shapes and sizes ....
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Well, near the Top of the Punter food chain for your average afternoon session has to be Mother Mary Margaret - you all know her - she's seen Quiet Man 374 times, weeps instantly at the sound of Danny Boy, and always walks up to the edge of the session during the best set of the night and requests it be sung.
Second would be Frat Boy - they always travel in a pack, sit near the session and demand the TV be turned up so they can watch the sporting events. Yell pointlessly and drink too much.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Jusa Nutter Eejit
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
This is way more fun than finding out better ways to constitute mental disorders than 19th and 20th century classification schemes.
The Multitasker-- Seems to suffer from ADHD. He can't stay in his chair for more than one or two tune sets. Constantly getting up to flit about, go out for a fag, visit the bar, chat to anyone who's willing to listen, especially members of the opposite (or possibly the same, depending on the Multitasker's predilictions) sex.
The Fussy Tuner -- Constantly tunes and retunes his instrument. Even stops playing mid-tune to faff with his tuning. Worries constantly about being out of tune. Always trying to tune between sets or during other people's sets.
The Fussy Tuner by Proxy -- Just as anxious about being out of tune but believes that the offender is always someone else in the session.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Emily - I always just say "member of the preferred sex", just to make things easier.
There's also
The Specialist In Everything - comes in with half a dozen instruments, can't decide which one to play on a given tune, changes around in the middle of every set.
The Specialist in Everything is often also:
The Goer - wants to "have a go" on everyone's instrument. Often knows a handful of tunes on a bunch of instruments, none of them well.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Ha! Silver Spear. Your newly-notified species reminds me of another:
The-Good-Enough-for-Folker - Plays a tuneable instrument but never bothers to check its tuning So it's usually about a quarter of a semitone out. Typical quote: "Well, it was in tune when I checked it last Tuesday!"
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The latter being the sworn enemy of the "The Fussy Tuner by Proxy" ....
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Ah... the punters
The Place Holder -- He is happy as Larry sitting in the middle of the session all night surrounded the music. The fact that he is not participating other than as a listener and meanwhile there are musicians sitting in an outer circle simply does not occur to him.
The American Idol -- Believes a session is the place to show off his immense vocal talent. Comes over to the session and asks to sing. Expects everyone to be riveted. Sometimes this species is in fact a great singer and provides a welcome break from the tunes. More commonly, they're not.
The Shane McGowan Fan -- Approaches the session and requests Pogues songs. Usually unappreciative of the fact that the only thing an Irish music session and Shane McGowan share is an association with a certain small European country.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Taker - Related to the "Goer" - when you get back from the bar, you discover that he's picked up your instrument and is playing it without even as much as a prior "by your leave" ...
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
And here we can enter into the natural history of this system. These creatures display some amazingly crative behaviors at times! For example, a Fussy Tuner or a Fussy Tuner By Proxy can sometimes be seen feigning the behavior of the Goer, so he can get the Good-Enough-For-Folker's instrument in his hands long enough to fix the tuning. And sometimes an American Idol will molt and become a Wild Rover (who, during tunes, is more or less a Place Holder!)
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
A few more...
The Melancholic -- After listening quietly and politely to the session for a while, proceeds to tell the musicians sitting nearest a sad story about his life and explain how hearing this amazing music has been the best thing that has happened to him in ten years. Once he begins telling you how amazing you are, he doesn't stop.
The Wildlife Photographer -- He takes liberal photos and videos of the session. There has been an epidemic of this very invasive species ever since digital cameras became smaller and easier to use and most mobile phones also acquired video recording capacity. Be careful of this species. You might find yourself unknowingly on YouTube.
The Night-Clubber -- He starts girating wildly to the music. Usually harmless unless he careens into your pint or your instrument.
The Happy Party-Goer -- He always travels in a herd. They sit as close to the session as they can and spend the entire night engaged in an extremely loud conversation and drink heavily. You learn everything there is to know about their past sexual exploits but have no idea what tune the musician next to is trying to play, or what tune you are playing.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Ah yes, "The Place Holder" which brings to mind another species - "The Place Grabber". Well, you got to the session early to get a good seat, didn't you? And you've been sitting there most of the evening, haven't you? But you need to go to the bar to get a drink. Bar is busy, so it's a little while before your able to get back to your seat. Shouldn't be a problem though, your coat's on the back of the chair, and you instrument's on the table in front of it ....
But when you get back, your seat has been taken. The culprit? - "The Place Grabber"!
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Not to mention, an American-Idol X Crib-sheeter is quite a common crossbreed.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
>The Expert Jammer
&
>The Incompetent Jammer
Are in fact the same person. This individual; is the expert jammer in their own mind, to everyone else they are the incompetent jammer. 99% of the time anyway. You can often tell wehn someone is going into Jammer mode by the fact that they reach for a tin whistle even though that isn't their primary instrument under the deluded fancy that a whistle is somehow less obtrusive.
I'd also add
The Session Grump -- thinks ever act of social contact with a non-regular is to be scoled at. All requests should not only be denied but scornfully so. Visiting musicians are usurpers. Often takes opinions from this website at face value as the gospel truth for real life sessions.
- chris
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
"scowled", not "scoled"
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Another punter species, a specimen of which oldstrings and I had the indistinct pleasure of encountering the other night:
The Advisor: approaches the musicians between sets to offer helpful tips on how to make the music more enjoyable to the listener. Common suggestions involve featuring that drum player more often, getting another guitarist, playing happier "songs", and maybe not playing the same tune over and and over again. The advisor openly and proudly admits that they don't know much about this music; however, they know what they like. The advisor may be upset if you do not accept their advice graciously, declaring that they are just trying to be helpful. While the musicians generally feel only contempt for the advisor, many take inspiration from this type as the former, for instance, are moved figure out how many consecutive Emin slip jigs they can play before exhausting their repertoire.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Tall, Dark, and Mysterious
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Melody Player with a Bodhran - Related to pitchforks' jammer description, though instead of a whistle the offending party will pull out a bodhran and play, poorly. This creature is also known as The Bodhran Player Who Should Know Better.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Camper -- A variant of the Newcomer, the Camper is a Participant who arrives several hours early, often pitching tent and eating a meal or two to stake out a coveted seat in the ''inner circle''.
The Roadrunner -- A person whose playing gradually speeds up as the set progresses, so that by the end of the set the music is going at breakneck speed.
The Tasmanian Devil -- A whirling dervish of energy, this session regular plays every set he/she starts extremely fast. Because he/she can!
The Tortoise -- A virtual opposite to the Tasmanian Devil, the Tortoise starts tunes/sets at a much slower speed, primarily due to the fact he/she is a relative beginner on his/her instrument or a relative newcomer to traditional music.
The Collector -- This unusual person always interrupts the flow seconds after the music stops to ask the names of the tunes. Usually armed with pen and paper, he/she writes the names of the tunes down, thus 'collecting' them for his/her very own! If under 35, the collector may be seen using an electronic recording device in lieu of pen and paper.
The Historian -- This session maven knows all the names to the tunes, who recorded them when and where, and has encyclopedic knowledge of all things musically arcane.
The Craic Addict -- This unusual bird comes to the session more for the craic than for the music. Rarely starting sets, this person revels in the chit-chat and latest goings on between plays.
The Punter -- This character--and every session seems to have one--is part of the 'peanut gallery' of revelers at the bar, imbibing Guiness or other such adult beverage. More often than not, the punter is wholly absorbed in the soccer/hurling/sports match on the overhead telly. The fact that the session is occuring is completely lost to his/her ignorance and level of inebriation. Usually staggers over the where the session is going on and requests Danny Boy, MacNamera's Band, Riverdance, or Irish Rebellion Songs. Cheers wildly for the bodhran player(s), while deaf to the music.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
cross post on the Punter!
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Roadrunning is a such a common ailment. Countless sessions around the world are harmed weekly by this disease. There must be something we can do. I've been really upset about this recently. Think of the children!
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
If there was a session Gestapo, the first people on the list should be the Advisors.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
SWFL~ But the Advisors are only doing it for the 'common good'! ;-P
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Agreed, SWFL Fiddler, and I'll even offer up our most recent Advisor. Hilariously, when she our approached our group the other day, she addressed our best fiddler - who also happens to be our most quick-witted and caustic musician, who proceeded to chew up our Advisor and spit her out.
To wit: Fiddler - "What do you mean, happier music? That tune we just played [Kid on the Mountain] is the happiest tune in all of Ireland? I just don't know what you're talking about."
Advisor: "It's sad! It's so depressing! [blah blah blah]"
Fiddler [offering the Advisor her fiddle and bow]: "Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but why don't you give us an example of the kind of music you mean?"
Advisor: [lectures fiddler on manners, storms off in a huff]
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Tall, Dark, and Mysterious
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Mayve you should have played "The Kid on the Mountain Bike! ...
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Creep -- Hits on and at worst, attempts to grope, the female musicians at a session. Often a cause of Session Grumps, since a certain level of hostility is the only thing that keeps them away.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Ponytail - Once saw a picture of Dónal Lunny (c. 1976) and reckoned that a bouzouki was the way to a woman's heart, not realizing that, to quote one seasoned Bothy Band observer, it was always 'Paddy who got the lookers'. The Ponytail spends much of his summers lugging his bouzouki from festival to festival along Ireland's west coast.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by MacCruiskeen
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Gnat -- A pesky little pest, this session goer plays with so much ornamentation that there are more rolls than melody to his/her playing. Cramming cuts, crans, pops, and rolls into every conceivable orifice of the tune, while constantly buzzing around the melody notes but never actually hitting them, this annoying player irritates others with ornamental overkill. Somebody swat this bug already!
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Bronstein, you have defamed me and I'll see you in court !
It's not true I spend my summers lugging my bouzouki from festival to festival around Ireland; England maybe. Anyway, I have a wife to keep me in check.
PS I can no longer offer to stand-in for Willie Nelson, he's cut his hair !
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Performer - Who, out of the blue, will decide that the entire session wants to sit around and listen to a soulful air, or the latest obscure tune in Bm that nobody else has a prayer of knowing.
The Bard - Always has a song ready. Loves to sing in Irish. If kept unchecked, the bard attracts others, and the session becomes a sing-along.
The One Person Band - Is always the last to leave, because it takes a long time to pack up the 7 instruments!
The POET (Play On Every Tune) - Can't stand the idea of not participating, so every single piece of music is either played, or accompanied by the POET, whether it be fiddling harmony on an an air, or playing the shakey egg on a strathspey. This is a major cause of The One Person Band.
The Master of None - Often a One Person Band and/or POET. Can pick up and play just about any instrument known to man, but is barely competent, at best, with any of them.
The Prodigy - Picked up uilleann pipes at age 9. Was teaching in festivals by 15. Started playing fiddle last week, but is already better than you. Often burns out by age 20, and isn't interested in playing anymore, because there's no inspiration left.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Reverend
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Mother Teresa of Kumbaya- obsessively checks with all present before starting a set to be sure that everyone knows all the tunes in the set and has no special dietary needs or physical limitations. Always throws in a good number of waltzes and random old-time crossovers during the course of the evening so that everyone feels validated and included. Twitters appreciatively after even the most awful rendition of [insert appalling song name here]. Will mime Fussy Tuner behavior if necessary to nudge intonation offender into action. Is known to revert to Acid-Tongued Session Witch form in privacy of own den.
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by Michele Sims
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Usually found at a fleadh or other such festival.
The Ignorant Arsehole : Session is going grand in the pub but he decides to start another one a little a bit away.
Is there a better name than ignorant arsehole?
# Posted on June 29th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Can't stand the "Master of None" Rev.
Don't mind the Bard, it's just those he/she attracts as you said
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Camp-fire Circle Wannabe -- Insists on going around the circle, with each person in turn playing "their" song or "their" tune. Related to Batlady's Mother Teresa of Kumbaya.
The Mean Girls -- They travel in small herds and tightly control the dynamics of their session. Newcomers must hang on the edge of the session until they decide whether the newcomer is worthy of inclusion, or not. Frequently involved in complicated session politics which may or may not include CCE. They have an ever lengthening list of musicians and pubs with whom they have fallen out. Not necessarily female.
The Team Captain -- Your session can't live without him. Until he walks through the door with his instrument, the rest of you sit around the table desultorily drinking your pints, wondering who will start a tune and kick this thing off. Once the Team Captain shows up, you know you'll have a good night.
The Tune Wikipedia -- He never p*sses anybody off, ever. The one player at the session everyone likes. Mostly because he doesn't say that much to anyone. He doesn't start many sets himself but he knows all the tunes, even the most obscure ones, and quietly and competently plays along on almost every set.
And more punters...
The Pub Furniture -- Shows up at the session every single week. Listens intently. Never appears to have any pals in the pub as he is never seen talking anybody. Never talks to the musicians, either. But seems happy enough listening quietly, week in and week out.
The Six String Parasite -- Always asks to borrow people's guitars. Never shows up with his own instrument. Frequently bewildered when informed said guitar is in DADGAD.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
This is a great thread, and here are some more species:
The Symbiote: Like in nature, where a symbiote helps keep its host digesting food properly, or keeps it free of parasites, this creature, while not playing melody, fits seamlessly into a session. Playing instruments like guitars, bouzoukis and bodhrans, Symbiotes enhance the music and the rhythm, adding color and interest to the tunes, and bringing everything up a notch. Very beneficial in small numbers, Symbiotes in large numbers can overwhelm the host, however, and work best when there are only one or two of them around.
The Parasite: A Parasite plays the same instruments as a Symbiote, but lacks the taste and discernment to know how to complement the tunes. This lack of awareness also causes Parasites to believe that they are actually Symbiotes.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by AlBrown
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Internet Stud but Session Dud
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Thank you for posting this Mix. I thought this was one of the funniest discussions I have read on here.
SilverSpear, I have discovered that someone put me on YouTube unknowingly.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fauxcelt
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
As for which species I might be, what comes closest to describing me is a cross between and/or a combination of the "Participant", the "Symbiote", and the "Tune Wikipedia".
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fauxcelt
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
was laughing about this today, have maybe a couple more?
The Bo-Peep: Shows up with a flock of students, and admirers, who as a collective group control the session, until they have completed a recital. This can be handy as it gives everyone a chance to learn whatever was taught at the latest workshop or camp, without having to pay the fee.
Pinky's up girls:(aka Local Symphony out slumming) they have really stiff bodies, fingers, and use broad vibrato, and typically show up smiling and winking as if everyone is really glad they arrived. Also travel in groups usually only one member of the group insists on playing though, while the rest seem to sense the cool welcome and choose to join the punters.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by SandyBottoms
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
This thread is part of the reason I hang out here. So many really clever folks. Great fun. thanks Mix.
But, how could you all have missed the "Any Chord and Any Rhythm Will Do Guitarist?"
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by cboody
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
cboody, that would be a subspecies of the Blue-Grassed Martin. Travels with sheaves of lyric sheets, complete with chords, and will share, forcefully, with everyone present.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Michele Sims
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@cboody - well, Im glad that you enjoyed the thread! But to answer your question, my (unposted) taxonomy listed 20 species and 85 sub-species. I had "Any Chord and Any Rhythm Will Do Guitarist" listed as a sub-species of "incompentent Jammer"....
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Rhino -- Known for their thick skin, sometimes called The Enforcer, this session goer agrees to play the role of session cop/bad guy/heavy. He/she has a thick skin and has no qualms about telling a clueless obnoxious git ruining the session to stop playing and/or leave.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey, fiddlerdan - is your guy a left-handed banjo player then?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_dWub6VEd6q8/RkDLAP-ZZKI/AAAAAAAACcc/oKALNScOxfk/s400/rhino%2Bwith%2Bbanjo%2B.jpg
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
".... sometimes called The Enforcer" - perhaps this might be your man .....
http://www.frontporchrepublic.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/NotreDameFightingIrishLogo.jpg
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Ok, will anyone admit to being one of the above described?
So far, nobody's mentioned "The Cynic...."
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@John J Returns - as you didn't "admit to being one of the above described" yourself, I reckon that you've answered your own question ....
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Mix O' Lydian -- LOL !
At one particular session our Enforcer is the guitarist. He ensures that 'too many beat(er)s won't 'spoil the broth'. Has no problem with keeping drunken punter-wannabe blues guitar players from hijacking the session.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Actually, I see a bit of me in quite a few of the descriptions but I don't think it necessarily makes me a bad person.
However, I frequently seem to fall into this category...
"The Deferrer – Unassuming type. Likes to be absolutely sure than nobody is about to play before striking up. Occasionally gets to start a set, but is usually beaten to it by the Tune Pouncer or the Minuteman."
Of course, it's my own fault.... before I get accused of bleating again!!!
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Linnaeus has nothing on thesession.org members!

Aye, I see a bit of me in quite a lot of these as well. Depends on the night and the session.
A few more yet....
The Chameleon -- He is normally a Bluegrass/Old Time/Classical/Jazz player but has, through careful study and lots of musical talent, mastered Irish music. You would never know the difference. He could have come from the deepest heart of Clare.
The Jack of all Tunes -- He is of similar appearance to the Chameleon, like the venemous coral snake is of similar appearance to the harmless milk snake. He's not harmless, either. He plays Bluegrass/Old Time/Classical/Jazz and believes that qualifies him to play Irish music without having ever listened to any of it. Plays all tunes like Bluegrass/Old Time/Classical/Jazz tunes. Often a crossbreed with the Incompetent Jammer. These crossbreeds are dangerous, as they will start doing Bluegrass chops or Jazz harmonies to tunes they don't know.
The Neurotic -- He is extremely high strung at sessions and is excessively anxious about making mistakes. Believes that he is a terrible musician and that everyone else in the session only just tolerates him (regardless of what the reality may actually be). Worries that all of his fellow musicians will remember when he played the B part of Lucy Campbell's with the A part of the Bucks of Oranmore at that session five weeks ago. Can play well when relaxed, but prone to freaking out, bolting like a spooked horse, and becoming a Roadrunner.
The Delusional -- At the opposite end of the spectrum to the Neurotic. He is an unsteady player with a small repertoire but believes he is the best thing that ever happened to his instrument.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@fiddlerdan - is this yer man, then?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N_77DX-caQ
... or is it this fella?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sp6WBTK3qq4
... or could it be this guy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMqsXNPvbAU
... or perhaps it's this character?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKekcJ-u5RU
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@John J Returns - see that you have "Returned" to answer my question ....

But your answer is in any case was "safe" one, as no-one ever objects to having a "Deferrer" at a session! ...
But who said anything about "good" or "bad"? In the animal kingdom, a lion might prey on an antelope, but that wouldn't make him a "bad" animal, would it? ...
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Lifter -- this guy/lass does a power of work in the musical and wider community, a widely known and liked figure. Often a non-player or limited musician, nonetheless they give a session a welcome boost when they turn up.
The Musician Repelling Workmates/Relatives -- These are not strictly a session species more of an vagrant that turns up announced or otherwise to listen. As if by magic the appearance of the MRW/R ensures that the none of the session regulars actually turn up apart from yourself.
The Random Emailer -- Rarely sighted, this shy and retiring species introduces themselves before the session by way of an email - "hello, is the session on? I'm J___ a ___ player. Would it be ok to sit in?" - only to never actually turn up despite assurances of welcome.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I reckon that I'll meet them all at Newcastleton this weekend and every conceivable type of session too.

It's quite a mixture down there, to say the least.
Good fun though apart from the midgies and bodhrans.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Linnaeus, eh, Silver Spear ...
Well here's a project for you - convert all the categories suggested thus far into pseudo-Latin, e.g. ......
Jammerincompeta guitarus
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Bodhrans, eh - John Returns - interesting that no-one's yet submitted a category ...
I would suggest "Bodhran Basher", but would this mean someone who "bashes a bodhran" - or would it refer to someone who "bashes" someone who bashes a bodhran?
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Session Patron -- a guy, usually older, but has money and takes it upon himself to make sure the musicians have a drink and always buys a round for the session when he shows up.
Great thread, Mix.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Phantom Button
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey, ramblingpitch - I responded to yet another of "those" emails only this week! The enquirer didn't trouble to reply to my detailed (and welcoming) email - and - guess what - he didn't show up either!

Not worthy to be included in the taxonomy though - they never show! ....
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey Phantom - would could use the services of your guy at our local sessions! ...
... Any chance that he might be available "on loan"? ....
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
They might still show up but keep quiet about having made contact. It seems a bit rude though and I daresay you'd soon spot a new face.
I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned "The Photographer" or even worse, the "You Tube" man.
He/she will often insist that "everyone plays" to ensure a good picture. Quite irritating if we move on to a lesser known tune or one of us wants to have a rest.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
John J, you just reminded me....
The Nagger -- He hovers around nearby and when you are not joining in on a set because you don't know the tune, he insist, "Come on, play. Why aren't you playing? Come ON, play!" Even if you explain that you don't know the tune, he continues demanding that you play anyway.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
*insists
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Our session patron is a lovely guy... mad for the music, and extremely generous. Here's how he came to be: he asked me one night about 20 years ago if the bar provided our drinks, and I told him it was discretionary and sometimes we do and most of the time we don't. He went to the publican, a stern belfast man, and said he thought the musicians should get free drinks. The publican looked back with an expression that could only be described as delighted indignation; he couldn't believe he was being asked such a thing but couldn't wait to respond to this outlandish suggestion... and he said, "You think they deserve a free drink do you?" and yur man says, "yes I do" and the publican says, "you buy them drinks then" and that's exactly what our patron did, and continues to do to this day. We're currently discussing having a big party for him as he's getting on in years and we want to celebrate his generosity and love of the music before it's too late.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Phantom Button
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
John J - in the example that I cited, at the session concerned we always welcome a newcomer, ask him/her how he/she found out about the session, introduce ourselves individually etc. Of course, if they turned up at the pub with their instrument very well hidden and/or didn't join the circle, maybe we would never know ...
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hi John J Returns

i will be at Newcastleton as well LOL.
Hopefully I will be filling the" Bodhran Basher" (in the playing terms at least) and "Gangster" slots there as the plan is to drag down a few of the "Prodigies" from St James and St Rochs CCEs - That would probably put them into the "Mean Girls" category (except they are all boys). With my skin, the "Rhino" category might apply as well
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by BigDavy
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Phantom,

If you have any Session Patrons, please send them to the Oran Mor, Glasgow G12 8QX. Cheers.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I meant to say, any spare ones.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey Phantom - it might be wise to keep the location of your seesion pub a closely-guarded secret - If "Star Trek's" transporter machine ever becomes a reality, you might be inundated with 60,000+ musicians turning up! ...
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
And yet another session "species"?
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/tzu/lowres/tzun642l.jpg
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I like Big Davy's ambition
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hi Premierflute
Glad you like it :D
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by BigDavy
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Egg - doesn't play an instrument, but when a set strikes up, produces the wretched shakey egg, often using it to 'set the pace'.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by domhnall.
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Egg is closely related to...
Ringo Starr -- He shows up at your session with every percussion instrument known to man. Bodhrans, bongos, tambourines, shakey things, maracas, djembes, you name it. Plays elaborate rhythms on every set, including slow airs, which may or may not be related to the rhythm of the tunes.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
And here' yer man - "falling out of favour" ....
http://picture-book.com/files/userimages/63u/humpty_dumpty.jpg
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Don't forget, the "spoons"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fbe922Rvi4
Actually, he's quite good but I can't hear much else!
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Random Emailer: I meet them all the time! I swear it's not us, we're nice people. We shower regularly, etc.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
You shower regularly?

How unusual for folkies.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
And, of course, there's always "The Dancer" or.... as they would say up in Glasgow... "Ra Dancer"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oovLfb1llU&feature=related
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
It's mandatory in Florida. No winters for any unwashed to hide behind.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Ah yes, John: "The Spooner" - And it seems that you can learn to become one in only ten minutes...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qK_M8TIEE-4&NR=1
... but note that "our tutor" keeps his face well hidden!
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
... and talking of percussion, never play with bones at a session - you never know what might happen ....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yYeZMx1Y7U
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Mix~ Can't say that any of your links are like our Enforcer. He's just a damn good DADGAD guitarist who knows the tunes. His wife plays flute, so he learned the tunes from her. His passion for good music enables him to reject anything less than the best it can be.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Candid Camera Guy -- A variant on the Photographer, who seems to have that rare talent of being able to take the worst possible picture of you while playing or talking (usually taken while eating or drinking). Think bad hair day crossed with a ridiculous facial expression crossed with catching you in the middle of something unexpected. Precisely two hours after the session, expect all the most revealing and unflattering photos to be posted on Facebook, or worse yet, youtube for the whole world to see. In the case of posting youtube footage, the Candid Camera guy has the magic ability to capture the exact moment when you flubbed the roll on the one tune in the set you weren't sure of after you'd had one too many to drink, thus ensuring you go down in history appearing like a confounded nincompoop!
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The RenFair Reenactor – related to the new-age hippie except these folks like to wear kilts. They usually play bodhran or recorder.
Ersatz Culchie: Arran jumper, tweed cap, corduroys and brogans. Occasionally lapse into a wincingly fake Irish accent to say “Aye, laddie” and wink. Tend to play guitar, badly.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fidkid
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I saw a RenFair Reenactor at the Fleadh last august, a mother moved her fiddle playing daughter to the other side of the session
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
he was playing the bodhran and was pretty p*ssed
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Noodler -- A competent session player, this person usually starts sets by noodling random batches of notes until he/she hits a batch of notes that sound like something somebody else knows. Hard to distinguish random noodles from gas. As soon as someone else recognizes said noodles as something remotely resembling a tune, he/she jumps in with the Noodler and another improbable set begins. Not to be confused with...
The Snippeteer -- Usually a session leader, the Snippeteer plays little snatchets of the tunes to let others know what's coming up in the next set. Helpful for guitarists who might want to know about any sudden key changes when tunes change in the set.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Okay, settle down Dan, we don't need to go back into that one...
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Jon Kiparsky
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Agreed: Throw a party for Chuck.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Atahualpa Quigley
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The "Snippeter", fiddlerdan? - sounds painful ...
http://k-punk.abstractdynamics.org/archives/WF8.GOYA.CASTRATED.jpg
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Bodhran players beware......
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey, fiddlerdan - here's a session with a bunch of noodlers ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-U8cBaM544
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
These guys also double up as "The Photographers"

Please excuse the stereotyping....
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Human Jukebox - Always has a tune at the ready. Instead of money in the slot, all it takes to start him playing is a shrug of the shoulders, if you can't think of another tune to play. He'll chime in with a tune, but like many jukeboxes, he has a list of top tunes that are played more often than others.
The Former Master - Used to rule the roost, and is a very accomplished player. But life gets in the way, and the Former Master doesn't play as much anymore. People are always glad to see him when he shows up, but he's never comfortable with his playing, because he remembers how good he used to be.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Reverend
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Pipe Major -- Of the same genus as the New Age Hippie and RenFair Reenactor, except he shows up at the session in full Highland dress and plays the Highland pipes. You really do not want one of these at your session.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
haha
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Nuclear Engineer -- Always an uilleann piper. Spends the entire evening taking his pipes apart, putting them back together, taking them apart, wrapping things with hemp, unwrapping them, twiddling endlessly with the blue tack and regulators. He might play a tune but you would be lucky indeed if that actually happened.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Jon~ No judgment implied. Just relating what I've seen.
Mix~ Ouch!!! LOL! Best laugh I've had in a while.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
hahaha nuclear engineer, I play with a guy like that , at least he's always in tune
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by premier
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Luddite -- He likes his tunes played a steady pace and could give a lecture on Paddy Canny, Paddy Fahy, Paddy O'Brien, and Paddy Carty. Dislikes include new tunes, fast tunes, Scottish tunes, Shetland tunes, in fact any tune that isn't from Clare or East Galway, accompanists in any form, electronic tuners, mobile phones, and the internet, Unlikely to be seen on thesession.org but you know him if he's at your session.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Not so keen on the "Pipe Major" type turned up, eh Silver Spear?
But what would your feelings be if this piper turned up?
http://www.thewomandirector.com/theladypiper_files/female_piper2.jpg
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Probably annoyance that all the blokes in the session were doing something other than playing tunes.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I don't know, there may be a few Luddites on here. Every now and then I come down with a symptom or two.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I'm sure there'd be a few comments about squeezing.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Well, I don't dare ask what they "might be doing", Silver Spear!

BTW, here's a "Luddite" in action! ....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVG9u_nxWBI
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Walter Mitty -- the guy (nearly always a guy) that lives out a fantasy life in tales told to sessioneers. Trouble is he's long ago been rumbled by telling mutually contadictory stories at other local sessions. Often rather creepy. Make sure he doesn't get to near any teenage females without warning them.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Reverend: "The Human Jukebox - Always has a tune at the ready"

Here's your man, Rev.
http://www.neodygrads.com/pages/poznikov/jukebox.gif
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
LOL, Mix. I have been accused to being the Human Jukebox (by the old ex-wife, even)
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Reverend
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I’ve been both the craic addict and the neurotic at the same time.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by fidkid
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Catalyst - the musician who knows how every tune begins. Catalysts' skill levels tend to range from below average to marginal; however, they often rise to a standing far above their contribution to the quality of music played because the more experienced (and, often, much older) participants would not be able to start a single tune without the catalysts' assistance.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Tall, Dark, and Mysterious
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
We are so easy at identifying the character of others, but would we be so free as to choose which one is ourself?
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Phantom Button
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I described myself perfectly in one of mine (anyone care to guess) and definitely suit others.
The Rev has started it off: http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/24968
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Goat- Has just jogged/biked to the session. Sweaty and odoriferous, seems blissfully unaware of their stench.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by TaoCat
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I see myself in nearly all of these examples, at least to some degree.
Here's another;
The Lilter- Very nervous type, lilts loudly, out of tune and out of time, while playing rather frantically/sloppily. Appears not to be aware he's doing it and gets offended when others give up on trying to play along with him.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Murph
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Haha, Murph.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I fall somewhere right between these two:
The Consulter – keen to start a tuneset, but terrified that nobody will join in. To avoid this situation, he always seeks the agreement from other musicians about the set content before starting.
The Innovator – Also likes to consult with other musicians about possible tunesets, but, (unlike the Consulter), is a confident musician. His motives are in any case different, as they are prompted by the motive of wanting to keep the session “alive” by the continuous introduction of new material.
Fiddlerdan's "snippiteer" is actually a redundancy since it was already described above, assuming the consultation involves various ways of communicating what tunes are being suggested.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Phantom Button
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Classical Violinist - has heard, or heard about, Irish fiddle music and turns up at a session out of curiosity. Not all that common, but most of the ones I've met soon realise that there is far more to it than they thought and either apply themselves to it or decide it's not for them and go away. Some of those who do apply themselves to it may find it needs more time than they had bargained for, and this may clash with their classical commitments, so a difficult choice has to be made (the Menuhin Syndrome). Then there are the others who just don't get it with Irish fiddle and treat it as a form of classical playing ... the less said the better!
I think I should make it clear that by "Classical Violinist" I'm not necessarily referring to someone who once played in the school orchestra (many of us have) and then a few years later comes back into fiddle playing via the sessions (generally no great problem there). No ... by "Classical Violinist" I mean someone as an adult who is seriously into classical playing, either as an amateur or a professional, and it is at least a fairly significant part of his or her musical life.
The Technician - again not all that common - usually a fiddle player who is obsessed with perfection of technique to the exclusion of everything else. May very possibly deliver the goods at the technical level. Likely also to be a Neurotic. "Human Midi Player" would be a fairly accurate description.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Rock-n-Roll guitarist. Asks to sit in, insisting that he can "find chords" for any sort of music. May actually be a skilled guitarist in his natural habitat. If allowed to sit in for lack of session Rhinos, generally fails to choose appropriate ITM chords. May or may not realize that chord choices are poor because he doesn't actually listen to ITM. Can be scared back into his natural habitat with enough slip jigs.
The Bluegrass Bassist. Species most often found at folk festivals. Closely related to the Rock-n-Roll guitarist, thinks Irish session is a "jam". Backs reels with a horribly tedious I-V-I-V but tends to cause less overall damage than the guitarist. Similarly, can be scared back into his natural bluegrass habitat with enough slip jigs.
The Tourist. Went to Ireland and returned with either a bodhran or a penny whistle. Waxes rhapsodic about ITM and asks to join the session. Tourists should be encouraged to seek instruction before joining the session because if allowed to play, they are revealed as Incompetent Jammers.
# Posted on June 30th 2010 by ElaineT
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
This is quite possibly the best thread ever!
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by AlBrown
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey, AlBrown - just been looking at your session profile (a good read, BTW!)

On the topic of seventh chords you say:
"If you use them sparingly, seventh chords can add nice variety to your playing."
Perhaps there should be an additional sub-species of guitarist .....
Seventh Day Chordist - a guitarist who only uses seventh chords sparingly - maybe once a week ....
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
@All - don't know whether anyone spotted it, but my inspiration for this thread (and its title) was a book on human behaviour by Desmond Morris entitled: "The Human Zoo".
A good read, BTW. More info here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Human_Zoo_(book)
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
You could have started a thread called "The Naked Bodhran Player"...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Naked_Ape_(book)
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by Johnny Jay
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Sandy Bottoms~ I actually got to experience a Bo Peep at a session a month ago. A mother stopped by our session with her two children, who happened to be taking fiddle lessons from the session leader. As this was at a pub/restaurant, and the time being on a Sunday afternoon, we were happy to include the two aspiring fiddle kids into our circle. We asked what tunes they knew. Turns out they could play 4 tunes at half-speed so we all played with them at their tempo. They were very polite and respectful, and they thanked us for giving them a chance to play (no doubt their mother and teacher taught them session etiquette). They packed up their fiddles and left shortly later, leaving us all with a warm fuzzy glow inside. It felt like we were all ambassadors of Irish traditional music that afternoon, and by letting the kids play with us we were modeling all the great things of what a session can be to a future generation of traditional Irish musicians.
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
"Naked Bodhran Player", John J? The mind boggles. Although I guess that this one might be acceptable ....
http://www.ehow.com/video_5537917_play-bodhran.html
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey fiddlerdan! I bet your "Bo-Peep" didn't look anything like this: ...
http://www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com/images/coolest-lil-bo-peep-and-the-man-who-stole-my-sheep-costume-3-21139220.jpg
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Mix~ Ha ha. Nope. The kids were 8 and 10 years old.
# Posted on July 1st 2010 by fiddlerdan
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Perfectionist- a subdivision of of the Session King. Plays with great style and technical skill, but turns out his repertoire isn't all that big. Usually have no trouble starting tunes, because the ones they do know, they could play in their sleep. Behavior/practice patterns include perfecting what they already know instead of learning new tunes.
# Posted on July 2nd 2010 by scordion
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
The Teacher - an experienced musician at a session who gives good constructive advice to another player, usually a beginner or near-beginner. I've seen it happen a handful of times, and have been the grateful recipient of such advice on at least two occasions. It's usually done quietly and unobtrusively, typically at the end of the session. If fiddle, it may be advice on a problem with bowing or fingering, or on the basics of technique, or even teaching a tune, whole or in part.
# Posted on July 2nd 2010 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Hey, lazyhound - would that not also mean adding yet another sub-species - "The Pupil" ?

Hmm ... maybe ... Participaratum Discipulus
Of course, (unlike your goodself) there might be some who might want not to listen to expert advice in that situation. So two varieties would be needed for that sub-species ....
Participaratum Discipulus Voluntaria
Participaratum Discipulus Involuntaria
# Posted on July 3rd 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Grasshopper, we are all pupils (Pupil Master then beats Grasshopper with bamboo rod).
# Posted on July 3rd 2010 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
And here is a picture of lazygrasshopper holding his fiddle ....
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/f8/The_Ant_and_the_Grasshopper_-_Project_Gutenberg_etext_19994.jpg/250px-The_Ant_and_the_Grasshopper_-_Project_Gutenberg_etext_19994.jpg
# Posted on July 3rd 2010 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Nice one
# Posted on July 3rd 2010 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
I agree I love playing with the little ones. They are usually quite relieved when everyone joins in.
.
# Posted on July 5th 2010 by SandyBottoms
Re: Is a session really a Human Zoo?
Agreed AlBrown, could be the sweetest of all threads. Does the new comer kit becomes : a-pair-of-ears + session-etiquette-found-somewhere-on the-net + is-a-session-realy-a human-Zoo ? Thanks folks.
+++
# Posted on October 4th 2010 by gilles.tabary