Sorry, this doesn't have much to do with trad, but it can be depending on how you reply.
I think I've found the worst band in the whole world! I went to see them tonight, and paid a fortune to get in the door - a fortune of much needed cash, I might add - and I've never regretted more having wasted my money on a night out.
These guys are Japanese and are called "Shaolong To The Sky", and they're a rock band, but I just had to write and tell you how awful they were just because I have to tell *someone*, otherwise I'll burst - I feel so cheated and dismayed.
Acoustic guitarist/singer knows 3 chords and can't sing in tune. His guitar's out of tune and I want to rush to the stage and tune it for him. His solos are *unbelievably* lame - I have to stop myself from giggling/crying as he stands up on his chair and poses melodramatically like guitarists he's seen on the telly, playing his tired string-bending blues scale riffs.
The double bass player is okay, but what's he doing in this band?
The "drummer" - wait for it - he's using a cardboard box as a drum, and he admits to being drunk and wanting to the concert to end quickly so that he can drink some more. He's beating seven shades out of this box, totally out of time, no sense of rhythm whatsoever. Towards the end of the concert, just as I'm starting to think it wasn't even worth staying for the giggle-factor, the cardboard box player's cardboard box gradually falls apart, until finally he's banging the palms of his hands on the floor with all his might. They have demo CDs for sale for an extortionate price, and people are actually buying them!
What has been your worst experience of a live performance?
I can beat that - well, not me personally, although at least one begrudger may think so....
When I was a student, I'd really only just discovered Irish music, so I didn't know the names of the bands too well - no excuse really. Anyway, there were some posters round campus - at Sheffield - advertising a band called De Tian - I must have been half-asleep, or something else that students do, because I foolishly got this confused with De Danann, so my girlfriend at the time, and I went along for a listen....
THEY WERE DIRE!!
They were actually a bunch of new age hippie types who literally could *not* play their instruments. I think they had a sax, guitar, a few other things and a percussionist, who was their leader, who just wandered round the stage hitting various objects at random, and not in any coordinated rhythm. The rest of them strummed and blew as the saw fit in a vile cacophony, trying to be like free-form jazz band but not even achieving that. We stayed for a couple of tear-jerkingly, throat lumpeningly boring tracks then got out. What a waste - of time, anyway, because it didn't cost much.
Never again. And I made sure I learned all the names of trad bands thereafter. I did see The Bothy Band at Sheffield Uni, though....
Went to a concert once. The band was called "Why us?" (direct translation from Polish). After one and half hour we all stumbled out of the hall moaning: "Why us? Oh, why us?"
I was a huge ween fan until I saw them live, they sounded like crap, they basically just cranked everything up as loud as it would go so all you could hear was feedback and instead of playing all the nice guitar solos that are on their CDs their guitarist just leaned into the monitor and made a bunch of noise.
I've been to some pretty heinous violin recitals, believe me! However I have to say that the worst band I've ever heard is this horrible fiddle group comprised of old biddies and men who don't have a clue what key their playing in and half the time the person on piano doesn't either. It was a sad, sad experience. Not that I have anything against older people playing the fiddle just this was really horrible.
In a way you are lucky to have places that book young/unknown/possibly horrible bands. The way things are going bands are supposed to deliver the "perfection" people are used to from watching the telly.
Mind you, surely there are "big" rock acts who just can't be bothered to make the effort and play well.
During the seven years in which I reported on concerts for the local small-town newspaper I never saw a really bad performance. And that covered a variety from the McCalmans via Bach's Christmas Oratory to heavy rock with Saxon.
Worst? Well, there's bad and then there's Bad. The Shaggs belong to the latter category, so Bad they attained cult status -- "My Pal Foot Foot" anybody?
I never like to disparage any ITM bands I've seen, 'cause you never know if you'll wind up in a session with one of the members. But I do recall in college, back in the 1970s (cue psychedelic flashback music and graphics), when there was a live-music festival in the student union, with a series of local and deservedly obscure bands performing. Most of the stuff was garage rock or attempts at punk (which was brand new then, children!) or some such, but one five-piece ensemble began their set with a guy playing fiddle -- I _think_ he might've been doing "Lady Ann Montgomery" but couldn't swear to it -- with the drummer doing a very spare backing. I couldn't stay to hear the rest of that piece, but several minutes later I passed by the stage again, and the band was still playing.
Playing disco, that is. Yep.
Of course, a disco-ITM fusion band would probably make it big in the world-music category. Well, if done properly...
What if a band starts out with the idea of disregarding all known principles of music-melody, harmony and rhythm? In addition, while they have instruments, they reject the idea of any kind of expertise at all, even at the most modest level. Unlike the band that Dow mentioned, they are not trying to do anyting musically-not trying to play rock, jazz, trad or anything else. That would describe the Nihilst Spasm Band. They have been in business for nearly 40 years and have achieved a certain amount of renown. They have CDs and play gigs and have been invited to play in Japan. There is a lenghy list of articles written about the band...and so on. One band member describes his music as his "small contribution to entropy". Check 'em out. While you're there, click on Then and Now and then on Sunship Records for some other attractive stuff.
Reminds me of the legendary Portsmouth Symphony Orchestra (UK) I heard of in my youth, where the basic requirement of being a member apparently was that you couldn't actually play the instrument. I was told that home practice was forbidden, although that precept may have been apocryphal. I understand they gave concerts, but I never had the interesting experience of attending one.
In Bristol we do have one or two "returners" orchestras for musicians, usually middle-aged, who haven't played for years or decades and who want to get started again. They have excellent tuition and coaching and make good progress, so that's obviously not a case of "the worst band etc".
Trevor
There was an old 10 CC song called the "Worst Band in the World" and the lyrics went something like "It's one thing to know it but another to admit, we're the worst band in the world and we don't give a ----"
Actually, I don't think that you should have to be the greatest musician to join a band. Many of the best bands-traditional, rock or otherwise have been pretty ropey to start with but improved with age and practice on the road. Nowadays, there so many good young musicians that form excellent sounding line ups at the outset but this wasn't always (or necessarily should always be) the case. Yes, there are some hellish bands (and sessions) out there but we don't have to go and listen to them.
On the other hand, there are many great musicians who have no interest in joining a band or have "seen it, done it, and got the T shirt" so I don't regard this as the be all and end all.
I saw the Stones in Paris in '76. They turned up at midnight rather than 8.00pm as billed, they played for about 45 minutes, their support band was a bunch of nobodies never heard of again but they sounded better than the main act. Mick Jagger's singing was so awful you could not tell one song from the next. I never bought another Stones record after that. Luckily, people like Bruce Springsteen became successful through playing good quality gigs that lasted 3 hours and forced some of those self indulgent 60's and 70's rock stars into shape. Also in '76 a Rod Stewart's gig I had a ticket for was cancelled on the night because the man had a sore throat. Honestly! He was also getting so big for his shoes by then that he might have competed with the Stones for the worst band in the world, so I think I had a luck escape there. My feeling is that the trad guys are generally reliable live and so are most American performers as they spend a lot more time on the road than their British counterparts.
Getting old.....
It was The Portsmouth Synfonia.All you had to do was turn up with an instrument and join in.Their version of The 1812 Overture has to be heard to be believed.
I was in a band called The Kerosene Brothers. I never saw all the members of the band in the same room at the same time. We had a bass player who couldn't play, but was obsessed with effects and equipment. A couple of us wrote one song once, called "Liar Liar," and I'm sure it sounded pretty awful when we were improvising it.
The worst band in the world
The worst band in the world
Sorry, this doesn't have much to do with trad, but it can be depending on how you reply.
I think I've found the worst band in the whole world! I went to see them tonight, and paid a fortune to get in the door - a fortune of much needed cash, I might add - and I've never regretted more having wasted my money on a night out.
These guys are Japanese and are called "Shaolong To The Sky", and they're a rock band, but I just had to write and tell you how awful they were just because I have to tell *someone*, otherwise I'll burst - I feel so cheated and dismayed.
Acoustic guitarist/singer knows 3 chords and can't sing in tune. His guitar's out of tune and I want to rush to the stage and tune it for him. His solos are *unbelievably* lame - I have to stop myself from giggling/crying as he stands up on his chair and poses melodramatically like guitarists he's seen on the telly, playing his tired string-bending blues scale riffs.
The double bass player is okay, but what's he doing in this band?
The "drummer" - wait for it - he's using a cardboard box as a drum, and he admits to being drunk and wanting to the concert to end quickly so that he can drink some more. He's beating seven shades out of this box, totally out of time, no sense of rhythm whatsoever. Towards the end of the concert, just as I'm starting to think it wasn't even worth staying for the giggle-factor, the cardboard box player's cardboard box gradually falls apart, until finally he's banging the palms of his hands on the floor with all his might. They have demo CDs for sale for an extortionate price, and people are actually buying them!
What has been your worst experience of a live performance?
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by Dow
Re: The worst band in the world
Sounds like just about every punk gig I went to in the seventies/eighties.
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by Ottery
Re: The worst band in the world
I can beat that - well, not me personally, although at least one begrudger may think so....
When I was a student, I'd really only just discovered Irish music, so I didn't know the names of the bands too well - no excuse really. Anyway, there were some posters round campus - at Sheffield - advertising a band called De Tian - I must have been half-asleep, or something else that students do, because I foolishly got this confused with De Danann, so my girlfriend at the time, and I went along for a listen....
THEY WERE DIRE!!
They were actually a bunch of new age hippie types who literally could *not* play their instruments. I think they had a sax, guitar, a few other things and a percussionist, who was their leader, who just wandered round the stage hitting various objects at random, and not in any coordinated rhythm. The rest of them strummed and blew as the saw fit in a vile cacophony, trying to be like free-form jazz band but not even achieving that. We stayed for a couple of tear-jerkingly, throat lumpeningly boring tracks then got out. What a waste - of time, anyway, because it didn't cost much.
Never again. And I made sure I learned all the names of trad bands thereafter. I did see The Bothy Band at Sheffield Uni, though....
Danny.
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by Key Maniac Lad
Re: The worst band in the world
Happens to everybody!
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by pitnekit
Re: The worst band in the world
I had a punk band in Germany in the mid nineties. We were really really really bad. Does that count?
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by Q
Re: The worst band in the world
Went to a concert once. The band was called "Why us?" (direct translation from Polish). After one and half hour we all stumbled out of the hall moaning: "Why us? Oh, why us?"
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by EastPole
Re: The worst band in the world
I've played in several of them.
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by granama
Re: The worst band in the world
I was a huge ween fan until I saw them live, they sounded like crap, they basically just cranked everything up as loud as it would go so all you could hear was feedback and instead of playing all the nice guitar solos that are on their CDs their guitarist just leaned into the monitor and made a bunch of noise.
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by Daffydd ap Llewellyn
Re: The worst band in the world
I've been to some pretty heinous violin recitals, believe me! However I have to say that the worst band I've ever heard is this horrible fiddle group comprised of old biddies and men who don't have a clue what key their playing in and half the time the person on piano doesn't either. It was a sad, sad experience. Not that I have anything against older people playing the fiddle just this was really horrible.
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by Sarah_MadPlaid
Re: The worst band in the world
In a way you are lucky to have places that book young/unknown/possibly horrible bands. The way things are going bands are supposed to deliver the "perfection" people are used to from watching the telly.
Mind you, surely there are "big" rock acts who just can't be bothered to make the effort and play well.
During the seven years in which I reported on concerts for the local small-town newspaper I never saw a really bad performance. And that covered a variety from the McCalmans via Bach's Christmas Oratory to heavy rock with Saxon.
# Posted on November 22nd 2003 by kuec
Re: The worst band in the world
Worst? Well, there's bad and then there's Bad. The Shaggs belong to the latter category, so Bad they attained cult status -- "My Pal Foot Foot" anybody?
I never like to disparage any ITM bands I've seen, 'cause you never know if you'll wind up in a session with one of the members. But I do recall in college, back in the 1970s (cue psychedelic flashback music and graphics), when there was a live-music festival in the student union, with a series of local and deservedly obscure bands performing. Most of the stuff was garage rock or attempts at punk (which was brand new then, children!) or some such, but one five-piece ensemble began their set with a guy playing fiddle -- I _think_ he might've been doing "Lady Ann Montgomery" but couldn't swear to it -- with the drummer doing a very spare backing. I couldn't stay to hear the rest of that piece, but several minutes later I passed by the stage again, and the band was still playing.
Playing disco, that is. Yep.
Of course, a disco-ITM fusion band would probably make it big in the world-music category. Well, if done properly...
# Posted on November 23rd 2003 by sts
Re: The worst band in the world
What if a band starts out with the idea of disregarding all known principles of music-melody, harmony and rhythm? In addition, while they have instruments, they reject the idea of any kind of expertise at all, even at the most modest level. Unlike the band that Dow mentioned, they are not trying to do anyting musically-not trying to play rock, jazz, trad or anything else. That would describe the Nihilst Spasm Band. They have been in business for nearly 40 years and have achieved a certain amount of renown. They have CDs and play gigs and have been invited to play in Japan. There is a lenghy list of articles written about the band...and so on. One band member describes his music as his "small contribution to entropy". Check 'em out. While you're there, click on Then and Now and then on Sunship Records for some other attractive stuff.
http://www3.sympatico.ca/pratten/NSB/
Steve
# Posted on November 23rd 2003 by SteveKendall
Re: The worst band in the world
Reminds me of the legendary Portsmouth Symphony Orchestra (UK) I heard of in my youth, where the basic requirement of being a member apparently was that you couldn't actually play the instrument. I was told that home practice was forbidden, although that precept may have been apocryphal. I understand they gave concerts, but I never had the interesting experience of attending one.
In Bristol we do have one or two "returners" orchestras for musicians, usually middle-aged, who haven't played for years or decades and who want to get started again. They have excellent tuition and coaching and make good progress, so that's obviously not a case of "the worst band etc".
Trevor
# Posted on November 23rd 2003 by lazyhound
Re: The worst band in the world
There was an old 10 CC song called the "Worst Band in the World" and the lyrics went something like "It's one thing to know it but another to admit, we're the worst band in the world and we don't give a ----"
Actually, I don't think that you should have to be the greatest musician to join a band. Many of the best bands-traditional, rock or otherwise have been pretty ropey to start with but improved with age and practice on the road. Nowadays, there so many good young musicians that form excellent sounding line ups at the outset but this wasn't always (or necessarily should always be) the case. Yes, there are some hellish bands (and sessions) out there but we don't have to go and listen to them.
On the other hand, there are many great musicians who have no interest in joining a band or have "seen it, done it, and got the T shirt" so I don't regard this as the be all and end all.
John
# Posted on November 24th 2003 by Johannes J
Re: The worst band in the world
I saw the Stones in Paris in '76. They turned up at midnight rather than 8.00pm as billed, they played for about 45 minutes, their support band was a bunch of nobodies never heard of again but they sounded better than the main act. Mick Jagger's singing was so awful you could not tell one song from the next. I never bought another Stones record after that. Luckily, people like Bruce Springsteen became successful through playing good quality gigs that lasted 3 hours and forced some of those self indulgent 60's and 70's rock stars into shape. Also in '76 a Rod Stewart's gig I had a ticket for was cancelled on the night because the man had a sore throat. Honestly! He was also getting so big for his shoes by then that he might have competed with the Stones for the worst band in the world, so I think I had a luck escape there. My feeling is that the trad guys are generally reliable live and so are most American performers as they spend a lot more time on the road than their British counterparts.
Getting old.....
# Posted on November 28th 2003 by Cath
Re: The worst band in the world
It was The Portsmouth Synfonia.All you had to do was turn up with an instrument and join in.Their version of The 1812 Overture has to be heard to be believed.
# Posted on March 1st 2003 by dafydd
Re: The worst band in the world
I was in a band called The Kerosene Brothers. I never saw all the members of the band in the same room at the same time. We had a bass player who couldn't play, but was obsessed with effects and equipment. A couple of us wrote one song once, called "Liar Liar," and I'm sure it sounded pretty awful when we were improvising it.
We did have t-shirts, though.
# Posted on February 22nd 2004 by LCorinth