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How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

How to promote your neo-trad irish/new england/quebecois/breton/old time band!

1.)first you need an album title: first think of how many people are in your band, then think of a pun on that. For example: triad, double take, triple time, or the age old favorite: three(used by both freres brunet and nightingale). This lets your audience know that the most interesting thing about your band is how many people are in it! If you have already used this tactic then just use the title from some old tune.
2.)The album art: get your college roommate who is now a wedding photographer to come take pictures of you that could be used in soap advertisements. Then have him slap something together on a five year old version of adobe photoshop using the same stock fonts that they use in soap advertisements. Whatever you do, don’t let anybody draw/paint you any album art. We don’t want anybody thinking our traditional music is 70 years behind the times (we’d prefer to have them think it’s only 15 years behind the times)
3.)production values: make sure to use lots of digital reverb, this is to let people know that you fully grasp the contemporary standards of audio production(of 1993) make sure your guitar sounds as thin as possible, because you heard that what the young folks are going for these days
4.)the content: you don’t want people thinking that you just play that boring old session stuff, make sure to have conga drums on at least one track(preferably a jig) this is to help distinguish you from all the other bands who have conga drums on one track. Also make sure to add lots of other elements from the sappy pop music that people started listening to traditional music to escape from. If you let anybody sing make sure to add lots of “ooh yeahs” and other vocal gymnastics so nobody can say that you couldn’t be a contestant on american idol. If you’re really adventurous you can add drumset and electric bass to one track so that anybody who actually likes traditional music will have to rush over to the stereo really fast to go to the next track.

NOW YOU”RE READY!

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by iplayeverything

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

it can't be that easy...surely there's an almighty band row and punches thrown and then a reunion...of sorts...to overcome first...before the tour...to Germany...

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by mickyfong

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

I want to start a fusion band of Irish and African music. I shall call the band Merry Blacksmith Mambazo.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Jimmy B

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

As Andy Bernard would say: "Nailed it."

The only place where I'd disagree is that it's commercial country music which is always—and deliberately—15 to 20 years behind things. So if anyone in Nashville is reading this, now is the time to assemble and launch that country version of the Police (maybe call the bottle blond lead singer "Bling").

Quasi / Neo / World Elevator Trad sells to so few people (though more than Trad Trad does) that it doesn't really matter which time it's behind and how far behind that time it is.

But I'd suggest "NEW Pure Drop® Ear Canal Oil" as the ultimate, bitchingest name for the band you've described.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by NEW Pure Drop® Ear Canal Oil

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Sonic Death Monkey. Do it.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Farr

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Well I bought an album at a gig on Monday night that made use of original art and very good it was too.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by No Cause For Alarm

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

"Merry Blacksmith Mambazo."?? So lame. Why not "the Afro Celtic" something or other?

(though I better would be "the Celtic Afro". - with a picture of the band in "see you Jimmy" wigs for the cover.)

https://orders.mkn.co.uk/mime/footballshirt/worldcup/scotlandtartanhat.jpg

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Oops, so sorry, Nashvillian A&R folks. What was I
thinking? Forget the Police—that was 30 years ago.
Time to launch a country version of Nirvana (call it
"Nevada"). Sensitive, troubled, stubbled singer in a
thrift store cashmere sweater (but with manly boots).

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by NEW Pure Drop® Ear Canal Oil

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Ha ha, Nevada. Kind of got a built in short life span though.

Reminds me that I was once in a bacd called "Staying Power", seriously (had posters prinred and everything (my own orriginal art work). We did exactly one gig. ha ha

(thank christ it was pre-tinternet)

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Merry Blacksmith Mambazo was meant to be lame, LL. But I'm glad I got your attention. :)

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Jimmy B

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

This was pretty good!

Side note: I always thought Luke Kelly wore the original Celtic Afro, no? I always thought that band was a Dubliners tribute...then I actually heard them.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

The numbers used as the title have to be in Irish, of course.

Or Orcish. Or African. Or something. This is to celebrate Ireland's contemporary multifaceted-ness. Or something.

I remember from childhood little pictures which, when you looked at them more closely or from another angle, would morph into something else. You could have a photo of the band that morphed horribly into roadkill, for example. Maybe a tiger run over by a truck. Or something.

But of course, the band should really be preoccupied by identity in an anarchic world. Yours. The CD will be fitted with clever micro-devices that phish every PC it goes into and transmit all bank account details to the band.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by nicholas

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

The name of the band has to be a random word in Irish or Gaelic. I recommend the Irish or Gaelic word for penis.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by DrSilverSpear

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

So that we can get it tattooed on some portion of our anatomy.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Michele Sims

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Miss Spear,
Step away from the Scotch... I repeat, step away from the Scotch :-D

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Pat Mustard

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

As a long standing participant in the neo-trad post punk Irish music scene I am deeply hurt by your satyrical take on our well honed craft of ripping off The Pogues and regurgitating it as some weak tea hybrid of a sloppy pub band by way of the Ramones. We have spent years developing bad whistle playing mixed with trashy guitars and poorly mixed drums. It wasn't easy, but our art reflects the pent up angst of the multi-generational diaspora who have never even seen Ireland; and longing for a revolution of our own, have romanticized "The Troubles" in order to puff up our musical street cred. Never mind the commitment to the music, the hours spent perfecting a fake brogue takes true dedication to art that you so called "traddies" would never understand. No if you'll excuse me, I'm off to pen another tune about booze and guns and the Ol' Sod. Perhaps I'll throw in the Kesh jig as a solo in the middle.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Jusa Nutter Eejit

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Any vocals? then you've got to use AutoTune - it's virtually de rigeur today. Don't worry about it, as soon as the studio engineer hears the first take he'll apply it automatically.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Trevor Jennings

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

JNE,

Sounds like a perfect description of Flogging Molly.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Jimmy B

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

I think it's 'pis'.

(...Where do I get this stuff from?!..)

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by nicholas

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Right area, wrong gender ( I think)

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by sechan

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Right on, sechan-

the word you are after is...wait for it...

bod.

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by red diesel

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

as in the bod from the sod ?

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by bazouki dave

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

"Why not "the Afro Celtic" something or other?"

there's bound to be an Afro Rangers Sound System out there to mop up the other half of the Scottish market

# Posted on October 28th 2009 by Bren

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

tee he

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Bren - both tours sponsored by Carling we presume?

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by Jusa Nutter Eejit

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

I suppose so
And they'd both recruit all the good Scottish players then leave them on the bench

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by Bren

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

What about the ubiquitous stage shots for myspace with purple lights and Breton numbers thrown in for good measure.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by Patkiwi

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

And it's bud, not to be confused with the Irish word for...

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by Patkiwi

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Are Breton numbers different from the ones *we* learnt to count in?

Oh, I suppose you mean tracks...

I wonder who their Myspace friends would be.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by nicholas

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

each other, of course

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Don't forget to advertise your CD here and then go apesh*t when people post their opinions on the sampler tracks that they took the time to listened to.

- chris

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ramblingpitchfork

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Hey that's the first time in a while that one of my sweary words has been *ed.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ramblingpitchfork

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Hmm, I'll just test that one out with the ubiquitous and gratuitous reference to the dreary English east coast town of Seejitthorp.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

ta dar

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

I rather like" llig leachim and the sychophants.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by mcknowall

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

".

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by mcknowall

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

you're an eejit

(te he)

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Dear Mr or Ms Iplayeverything,
Why has this thread got "satire" in brackets after the title? Is it just in case we think it's about a serious heartfelt observation and you have to rather patronizingly point out that it is in fact a jokey/ tongue-in-cheek piece of fun? Surely we would all be a bit demented if we didn't get that this was meant to be funny?
Or is it the New World inhabitants and irony problem?

Thank you,

Yhaal House

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by yhaalhouse

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

ha yeah, it's like Yanks thinking Spinal Tap are a real band.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Possibly it's so that stuck up sticky beaks know not to even bother visiting the thread. We've had plenty of times over the years where we could get this far down a lighthearted discussion when suddenly in bursts some bodhead who starts ranting at us for not taking the music seriously. (or even worse, one who is dense enough to think a humorous thread is serious) - this usually ends in tears - and sometimes in the serious guy storming out - but only after telling us all how immature we are, and calling Llig a pompous fart.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by showaddydadito

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

After all, Llig, you may (possibly) be a PF***, but your our PF and we like having you around.

*** I personally don't subscribe to this view. Although I tend to adopt a persona on this board somewhere between clown, dickhead, and wise old owl, I am in most of my real life a CURMUDGEON - and I applaud true quality curmudgeonliness when I see it. (I am infact a professional Curmudgeon - they pay me good money for it too, and so I come here for a rest from it.)

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by showaddydadito

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Who says Spinal Tap aren't a real band?

They're the greatest. Along with The Monkees, of course...

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by nicholas

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Wikepedia has spinal tap as "semi-fictional" ha ha. How can something be semi-fictional?

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

And while we're at it, I'd love to know how a fart could be pompous. Is it the delivery? The way you might raise one cheek? Or what?

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Dude, this one goes up to 11.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by DrSilverSpear

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Because, llig, they have actually toured. I saw them in the early 90's. They are characters, true, but Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest actually write the music and play it themselves, no stand-ins. Personally I've always liked the act and thought the film was hilarious, and despite the fact that it's a parody, some of the music is actually pretty decent rock and roll. I don't know if that defines it as semi-fictional, and I agree that's a dubious term, but I lend them at least a little credit for being an actual band.

Side note, their other "semi-fictional" group, The Folksmen, opened for Spinal Tap when I saw them. Unfortunately, I missed most of that set. Had I known it was them and they were opening, I would have showed up earlier.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by Jimmy B

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

When I see The Folksmen and Spinal Tap on stage together I'll know they're real.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Very nice!

Incidentally, while there may have been a few thick yanks who thought they were real, the vast majority of us knew it was a joke. I did meet a man from Ireland once who thought The Blair Witch Project was real, so there. :)

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by Jimmy B

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

There is a session in Seejithorpe: http://www.thesession.org/sessions/display/1940
It's worth checking out the comments.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by RichardB

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

I love the bit at the bottom which says please keep the comments relevant to this session.

Michael - you can bet that somewhere there is a proper etiquette for which cheek to raise to show that you are of noble birth.

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by showaddydadito

What's also embarrassing is people who post the word 'ye' instead of 'you' .
What's that about?

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by yhaalhouse

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

says ye olde ale house

# Posted on October 29th 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Lots of good suggestions on what to avoid here! ha ha. The group I am in is recording now--and I find that I dislike the whole recording process in general. Much more fun to just go to the pub and play for fun!

# Posted on October 30th 2009 by AlBrown

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Ah, another circle jerk. Excuse me while I slip away into the next room.

# Posted on October 30th 2009 by GDub

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Al, top tips for getting a better recording of diddley music:

0. make a bit of an extra effort to be in tune.
1. play together. Don't do that silly thing of taking turns.
2. because you are playing together, the engineer will be constantly complaining of crossover (where the instruments aren't isolated on each track). Tell him (it's always a him) it doesn't matter.
3. don't let the engineer put microphones too close. You need to be able to relax and move around a bit.
3. leave the record button on all the time. Even when you're having a natter or just messing about.
4. have plenty of natters and mess about a lot.
5. never ever ever listen back to any of the recordings until at least a day later.

# Posted on October 30th 2009 by ...

Re: Top tips for getting a better recording of diddley music from Mr Leachim...

Blimey!
I totally agree!
Fab informed comment.

# Posted on October 30th 2009 by yhaalhouse

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)


6. and if you are counting in the rest of the band be careful only to include one "3" :-)

- chris

# Posted on October 30th 2009 by ramblingpitchfork

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

I remember another one about headphones. It's a very different skill to be able to play with headphones. If you aspire to be a recording artist then it's something you are gonna have too learn how to do. It will take some practice and dedication though. However, If you're recording your own acoustic music live with your mates, don't let the engineer make you wear headphones.

Though if you aspire to dabble in some multi tracking (which is brilliant fun by the way), try to organise it so that you can record your multi track live with your mate/mates who also want to lay another track down. You'll have to use headphones for this. but see if you can make use of the trick of having your headphones only partially over your ears.

# Posted on October 31st 2009 by ...

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Who would have thought some good advice would come out of this thread? Already ran into the headphone issue, and we learned to wear them with one ear covered and one ear open--a good compromise. And while we are using some overdubs to add extra instruments (we just finished one where I played both harmonica and whistle), we are doing the basic tracks with all four of us playing at once. Someday, I do want to get some software to try multitracking at home, it does sound like fun!
Thanks for the tips!

# Posted on October 31st 2009 by AlBrown

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

"Move a little closer so my microphone can hear"

# Posted on October 31st 2009 by fauxcelt

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

Huh?? No one has mentioned getting the correct strategic sponsorships ...

And what's that about Spinal Tap? - that's not comedy! ...OR fiction!! - it's the most honest and accurate documentary I've ever seen!

# Posted on November 4th 2009 by Mozle

Re: How to promote your neo-trad irish band!(satire)

You mean "Rockumentary" of course

# Posted on November 4th 2009 by ...

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