Some people don't think tune names matter much. Fair enough. They can play, whistle or lilt tunes to others. The tunes probably won't be too bothered.
But what about your name, for instance. How often do you reckon you need to tell it to someone before it sticks? A couple of times if you see them fairly frequently? Beyond that, you begin to suspect rudeness, right?
Now imagine this scenario. You drive a 100+ mile round trip to an Irish music society (not a random session), which you've visited enough times over a few years to know a few people. There is a guy on the door (the Chairman, as it happens)- ostensibly there to meet and greet, make people feel welcome etc. etc. He's a cheery and friendly enough bloke, but though you've told him your name at least half a dozen times, he is still having trouble (we're talking first names here, nothing complicated). It's like being at school again. Anyway, for the nth time, you tell him your name as he takes your money and signs you in.
The next time you try gently heightening his awareness by joshingly calling him by a name you know isn't his. He's baffled- thinks you've made a mistake. You explain.
Next time, you raise the issue directly with him- indicate you're not happy with his attitude. You might as well not have bothered. Water off a duck's back. You leave it, but it sours the start of what is otherwise a good experience playing music with some friendly, nice folk, some of whom do actively get to know people and give their time voluntarily to make things run smoothly.
This scenario may be beginning to ring bells with a few people.
The reason I'm raising this is NOT because I feel I'm individually so important that other people should know and remember my name. But a few people I've spoken to would also appreciate a slightly more personal approach.
The main reason for raising this is that we are frequently being told by officials that the club/society's numbers (and hence its funds) are dwindling, so could we please encourage other people to come along. One possible way to make sure people attend more regularly is to make sure all- especially newcomers, in-comers, and less confident players- feel truly welcomed and recognised from the moment they arrive.
Apologies to all those people who have read this far and who are outside this little local difficulty. I have tried tackling this directly with the person concerned, but, as I said, with no success.
I think there are enough people from this place on the Mustard Board for the message to carry back to those who might like to think about, and hopefully rectify, this problem.
I've made a big thing of it, I know- but I don't rant that often, and needed to get this off my chest. Now, back to the playing
I'm a teacher. I'm horrible with remembering names though I remember faces very well. It's not personal. That guys sees a lot of people. He might host events besides this one and see more people. I have a hell of a time remember 5 names in an intimate setting, let alone a shindig like this. I wouldn't take it so personally at all. Some people really do just have shoddy memories and a lot to remember!
You're right, Fiddlechick (I'll omit your number!)- I'm sure it's nothing personal from the guy himself, who as you say is doing this alongside mountains of other things, but when you are asked to repeat your name on a fairly regular basis, I can assure you it's a pain.
Maybe what I am really objecting to is the system, which with a slight tweaking, could solve both his problem and mine. Another member mentioned a simple solution- that people should just sign themselves in- leaving the greeter to do what he he is there for and good at- i.e. greeting the people.
Maybe a little brouhaha here will make that happen
On the broader front, I suppose we are back to the question of how far we can expect playing music together to be a satisfying experience in social interaction as well.
Wear one of those gigantic "Hello! My name is..." name tags next time - some people just need a visual cue since they can't learn the names by ear (ahem).
In your shoes I would donate a nice big box of nametags and a handful of good markers. I'd put on a nametag along with a big smile, then proceed to introduce myself around the room as I handed out nametags and asked people to wear them.
If nothing else, you'll get know as the "nametag guy" and people might remember your name, if no-one else's.
Nice idea, Jusa, but we're a reticent lot over here- wearing a name badge makes us uneasy at the best of times. Besides, people might think we're wearing it for our own benefit...
If you were a pretty woman he'd remember your name on his hard drive from day 1, even if his memory is otherwise reduced to mush.
(Maybe you *are* a pretty woman - your details give no clues - but just not pretty enough...)
You could always have a quick sex change. If it didn't work, you could change back pronto. It seems very easy to do this these days.
But the day that paying to go to sessions becomes general is the day to turn one's back on them and, with a bodhran player on a string, set out on the open road to intimidate the settled populace and embrace feral conditions between / during trad raves.
Nicholas- spot on- I have noticed his tendency to remember the women's names. Incidentally, they're all pretty to me.
(Are we still allowed to say that kind of thing these days?)
P-K, you could always spice up the name-tag gig with any number of false monikers for your own amusement:
Nick O'Teen
Paddy O'Furniture (tired and cliche, I know)
Siobhan Yernickers
Jimmy DeLatch
The list of possibilities is endless. Wouldn't it be great if your absent minded door man began calling you Ben Dover? You'd surely never be forgotten then...
i work for a company that supplies party noveltys i can supply you with a little pink badge with your name on it if you like and we also sell in bulk so you can have different coloured ones for different days of the weeks
just a thought
Ah, yes, Paddy O'Furniture- I remember him well- close friend of Paddy O'Doors. Speaking of remembering, the autobiography of the late, great actor Alec Guinness was entitled "My Name Escapes Me" -isn't that brilliant?
Jusa, your list reminds me of an academic colleague, who used to while away time inventing names of fictitious students to fill up various spurious courses. Jenny Saykwa, Natalie Dressed, etc. I don't remember a Ben Dover, tho'.....
I don't know rude-- they just might not care enough about you to remember your name. So just tell them to call you Matt Molloy, or Frankie Gavin. Soon enough they'll cop on to your real name. Unless of course you're Matt or Frankie. Then they would remember. Unless they're terminally thick.
I'm enjoying the irony of people who don't use there names here on this silly website complaining on this silly website that people can't remember their names. Daft precious eedjits
There is an open mic night in Glasgow run by the mighty Gerry Lyons. Despite it always being a busy night and always having new folk each week he never needs to write a name down. He makes no list of the running order and doesn't forget anyone. It is some talent.
When a new person comes along the conversation tends to run:
New Person: Can I sing a song?
Gerry: Of course. What is your name?
New Person: Tom
Gerry: Nice to meet you. You are Tom No 3 tonight.
An hour later he calls up Tom No 3 and will introduce him as a new contributor. If Tom turns up again a month later Gerry will remember his name. It is wonderful for making folk feel welcome and included.
Not everyone is able to recall names and faces so easily however. I am pretty good with faces but rotten with names. I wouldn't let it worry you K-P. I am sure he doesn't mean anything by it.
I think people who remember people's names either see them as individuals making memory easier or they work at it because they know how good it feels. The rest just don't think.
janmarie
I'm enjoying the irony of people who want people to know their names, albeit backwards, on this silly website taking the p*ss out of people who want people to know their names in real life.
If you are concerned about people knowing your name in real life then the quickest way to fix that is to commit multiple homicides. It certainly beats trailing it on a "silly website".
Remembering names is important but I don't seem to be able to do it reliably. The same happens with anything to do with taxation or superannuation and, unfortunately, music theory.
At the same time I can retain unimportant facts and figures seemingly forever. A psychologist friend says some form of word association helps, but that seems to be giving twice as much to remember.
It's as if the brain has different draws for different categories of information. Some of these draws are always accessible, some are right down the bottom and stick shut, and others spill their contents over the back never to be seen again.
The most impressive memory feat I've seen occurred on a river cruise in Africa. The drinks waiter took orders from maybe a hundred people, writing down nothing, then delivered them correctly. Later in the cruise he returned to see if anybody wanted another, correctly remembering what they'd had the first time round. It was thirty years ago so less likely that he had a hidden recorder.
I am horrible with names. I used to joke that I needed an entourage around me to whisper names into my ear so that I wouldn't offend donors when served a term as president of a small not for profit. (Sort of that scene in "The Devil Wears Prada."
My question is: do the other people in this music society remember you? Maybe this guy doesn't, but of the whole group, are your remembered? Are you involved only yearly, or do you participate in planning and other supportive events (if you can). Hopefully it's just this one person who is this forgetful.
A good friend of mine sits all day long in the pub and welcomes the tourists who wander in off the "Tartan zone". He remembers names and faces and stories. I've seen him welcome an old American couple who he only met once, for about an hour, six years previously. He knew their names and what they did etc. It's some talent.
I think the point is that it's great when someone remembers you. It makes you feel good. But that's a whole different ball game from expecting people to remember you. From being p*ssed off when they don't.
A few years ago my wife came to visit me in my office. Conveniently, all 13 of my officemates who I had been working with for about 5 years were in the conference room having lunch. I bravely decided to introduce her to them. I made it through 9 before I forgot the 10th one's name. No offence, though. They were surprised I made it that far and that I was daring enough to try. I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of remembering a guy's name I only met 6 times.
Why not just state the bloody obvious; the meeter/greeter guy has no reason to remember you and most likely could care less.
And why should it bother you and your insecurity? Quit holding on to something and trying to control a ludicrous situation. Just move on and enjoy the real importance of why you went there.
I have enough trouble remembering who I am, let alone other people. You'll get over it eventually. ;)
Well, I'll remember P dash K - he/she is the one who made a big deal out of someone not remembering their name name. Someone he's seen how many times over the last few years? And then someone brings up an idea, an oh no we're too reticent over here to wear name tags, I'd rather complain and feel hurt.
Heck, if i was the Chairman/Greeeter I'd probably not remember your name on purpose...
P-K - I do of course know the "Irish music society" that that you are referring to, and I also know its chairman quite well.
I would certainly agree with you that there are a few things that are wrong with that particular society that need to be addressed, but I don't really think that the chairman's "meeting and greeting" is one of them!
The person in question is one hell of a nice guy, and really does put a lot of effort in making folks feel welcome at the door. Sure, by his own admission, he's bad at remembering names - I can sympathise with that, because I'm lousy at it myself!
On one particular Saturday morning I was given the task of manning the door when the chairman was busy. It's more difficult than you might think! Swarms of people all arriving at once, and people going in and out of the building when they've already paid! On a number of occasions I found myself thinking: "Well, I know who you are are, but I just can't recall your name, which group you belong to, or whether you've paid or not!".
It's a shame that you are never able to get to the Saturday evening pub sessions. There, you are all in one room, the atmosphere is unhurried and relaxed, and you get to be able to fix other peoples' names in your mind!
OK- thanks for the replies, even the slagging- I probably deserved that. I honestly don't think it's an ego thing, more that I happen to be reasonably good with names, less good with playing, hence the insecurity someone mentioned. It's still quite a big deal for me to get myself out and travel to play with other people. A few years down the line, maybe, I'll be able to take it in my stride.
Sorry, Mix- I posted before yours appeared- and thank you for that. As you say, I'm sure he's a good guy doing a difficult job, and maybe it's the mayhem of arrivals you mention as much as anything which gets to me- I probably don't see that many people in a month. Maybe I'll try coming to the evening session instead for a bit, because, despite making a bit of a prat of myself in this thread, I do enjoy playing with you guys.
I've had problems remembering names all my life. For some people it doesn't come easy to remember names and accurately attach them to faces.
I don't go around attacking people and slagging them off for being sh*te at mathematics (something i'm very good at), or who have reading issues like dyslexia, so why do others feel the right to slag people off and attack people publicly who have problems accurately remembering names?
I know from personal experience that it doesn't make for smooth and easy socialising when you have to continuously ask someone their name because you simply cannot remember it no matter how hard you try. To have people attack you and slag you off for being ignorant on top of that is not at all helpful.
I've been going to a club for 9 months now and i'm still struggling to remember people's names there. In my head there's a big pile of faces and a big pile of names and a lot of the connections between the two are simply not there and i don't know which name to put with which face. It takes me a long time to start putting a name accurately to a face.
So cut people some slack, life's difficult enough when you can't remember people's names.
Phone numbers too. And pin numbers. Birthdays etc. Useless.
But how come I can remember reems and reems of diddley tunes I'll never know. Even tunes I don't particularly like. Tunes I've not tried to remember. Even tunes I've made a concerted effort to forget. All still there. The bastards
OK, here's another variation on abilities. I have a vision impaired friend at a singing group. He can't read a song but will have it perfectly memorised after once or twice through and is almost as good with the tune. There's no way I can do that. However he's rarely able to identify other members by their voice, but after a career in radio communications I can frequently identify by voice people I have never met face to face .
When I worked in a bar somebody once complained that I didn't recall his name. He seemed happy enough when I said that I had maybe a thousand customers who remembered my name, especially when they wanted serving, but I couldn't remember all of theirs. The staff referred to customers not by their names but by their order, eg 'Guinness and two lagers' or 'half a shandy'.
I remember a particularly splendid one night stand, 25 or so years ago. In the morning, just as that gentle half asleep thing was gently turning into that gentle half awake thing, the gorgeous lady suddenly jumped on me, sat astride my chest and pinned my wrists beside my ears. She leaned over, close, face to face, and calmly but clearly stated ... "You can't remember my name .... can you?"
I think it was the most terrified I've ever been in my whole life.
Worth it though.
It's nothing to worry about, llig; when you get to the stage of finding yourself admiring a woman and you don't know why you are doing that - then you'll have something to worry about.
Some years ago, at the end of a ceilidh (for which my band had been playing), someone approached the stage and started up a conversation with me. After a minute or two, it became clear to me that this guy knew me - but could I think who this guy was? Could I hell!
So after I while, I said: "Please accept my apologies, but how is it that you know me?
The bloke on the door maybe remembers names but forgets faces, like he knows there's this P-K chap who usually comes for a tune, but he's forgotten which face goes with P-K. I wouldn't worry about it
P-K, the Chairman of that Irish music society will probably be mighty confused if you announce yourself as "P-K" next time you turn up! I think I'll change my name to Piotr Zak for my arrival.
I suffer from a mild amount of Prosopagnosia. This is “Face Blindness” meaning I don’t recognize or perhaps confuse faces. What it means in a practical sense is that I have trouble knowing if a face I see playing a fiddle, say, is the same person that I friendly and copiously spoke to the previous week. I also have trouble with names (because I often confuse vague face recollection with a bad name memory!) And due to too many embarrassing occasions in my past, these days I tend to wait for people to make them selves known to me. It leads to a complete lack of confidence when speaking to people as one usually says their name first (“Johan! How’s your diamond smuggling business?” “Seamus, that bottle of poteen was shiet”) The behaviour associated with Prosopagnosia often comes across as “blanking” and I’m sure lots of people think I’m a very moody and/ or snooty git! I do slowly get to recognize people and remember their names but it can take a long time.
But sitting here now, away from my regular session I can picture and recall the names of the usuals: Queenie (fiddle), Iqbal (flute), Gladstone (fiddle), Dorothea (whistle), Mtumbe (box), Boris (flute), Sivapillaikumarrajahnathan (tenor banjo), Welshy (Bodhran), Neptune (pipes), Caitlin (harp) and Frigg (bouzouki).
Thanks to your collective comments, I think I've at last realised what it is I was actually belly-aching about. That he *remembers* it, or not, is not the issue. Just that he stop asking me to repeat it so he can write it in his bloody book
"... calmly but clearly stated ... "You can't remember my name .... can you?" "
I think that might in fact have been a disguised command NOT to remember her name.
Sometimes, when we can't remember the name of one of our patients, we will refer to the patient by their bed number. For example, as Mr. Bed Number Two.
The only time in my life when I woke up in bed with a strange woman whom I had never seen before, she was polite enough to introduce herself to me and then ask me for my name when she woke up and noticed that she was in bed with a strange man.
Several years later, this woman married one of my friends and she is still married to him. Yes I am still friends with both of them.
SilverSpear, if you are better at remembering the names and faces of horses than you are at remembering the names and faces of people, then you have the same problem which afflicts my wife and her relatives (all of them love horses).
To borrow from All Moldy's comment.....my wife and her relatives suffer from this problem because they (and myself) are all the victims of too much nagging from my wife's older sister.
I don't know the names of any horses Silverspear, but I'm good at remembering the names of cars even ones from way back in the last century that I haven't seen for a long time, like Humber Super Snipe, Singer Gazelle, Austin A35, Riley 2.4 etc.
They're the ones I can identify too. Most cars now look as if they've come from the same CAD program, so you have to read the name to know what they are. Now there's a thought - if people wore name tags . . . . .
I am Alan Doyle, Chairman of Hibernia, the Irish music organization in question, and I am enraged by the attitude of this guy PK. I am very much aware of the importance of remembering people’s names and I am also very embarrassed by my problem with regard to memory. It is a problem that has become worse over the past few years. It becomes worse when I am stressed or under pressure. Does he think that I choose to make myself look like a idiot when I forget the names of some people that I have know much longer than I have “apparently” known him. Every Hibernia session, I have a flood of between thirty and fifty people coming through the door within a time frame of about ten minutes. Some don’t have change; some are just starting and need to be given forms etc. Some want to buy tune books and or Hibernia CD’s. If a crowd is building, I am very much aware of that fact and as such, I worry about keeping members waiting.
If this guy really knew me or bothered to discuss his problem with me or other committee members, he would discover that I am probably one of the most considerate and respectful people he will ever meet. I give my time voluntarily to Hibernia and do everything in my power to ensure that Mr PK (whose name escapes me!!!!!!) and all of the other members have an enjoyable visit. Also, I must add that at £5.00 for an hour and a half lesson with some very talented teachers (one of our teachers was voted “All Britain Fiddle Champion” over several years), we provide unbelievable value for money.
Does PK know anything about my background, my workload, my personal circumstances, or, for that matter, does he care. Once everybody in the world that he has ever met, a few times, remembers HIS name, all the other problems, pale into insignificance?????????????
To make it worse, I was totally oblivious to all this backbiting going on without having an opportunity to defend myself or even to explain that my problem is nothing to do with a lack of consideration or respect for individuals names, in fact the opposite is the case. I consider names to be so important that my forgetting them is a major cause of stress and, as already mentioned, embarrassment to me.
Why does PK, do a hundred mile roundtrip to come to Hibernia??? Because it’s a brilliant mornings entertainment and Hibernia is there because of the effort put in by the committee and myself, to ensure that PK and the other members have a good time, playing music in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Friendly and welcoming is what Hibernia is all about. It would be nice to think that this PK person put “friendly” as high up the priority list as I do. There is certainly nothing friendly or considerate about the manner in which he has treated me, behind my back, without just cause. Cowardly? Or what???. PK you ought to be ashamed. I am glad I don’t know who you are but even if I did, I would still welcome you into Hibernia, as I do with everyone who walks through our door. I must simply put it down to ignorance on your part and say “there but for the grace of God, go I”. I constantly strive to remember a very appropriate phrase that my Dad used to use, which was, “It’s nice to be nice and it costs nothing. I am glad to see that In all this discussion, there have been some who jumped to my defense. To them, I say, “Thank You”.
They have obviously taken the time to get to know me a little better than the illustrious PK.
I look forward to welcoming you to our next Hibernia, as always
Go dTé tú slán
ALAN DOYLE
Chairman HIBERNIA CENTRE BRISTOL www.hiberniacentrebristol.org
Apologies for adding this as a new discussion but I think my comments on the original one might not be seen.
PK you obviously know very little about me.
I am Alan Doyle, Chairman of Hibernia, the Irish music organization in question, and I am enraged by the attitude of this guy PK. I am very much aware of the importance of remembering people’s names and I am also very embarrassed by my problem with regard to memory. It is a problem that has become worse over the past few years. It becomes worse when I am stressed or under pressure. Does he think that I choose to make myself look like a idiot when I forget the names of some people that I have know much longer than I have “apparently” known him. Every Hibernia session, I have a flood of between thirty and fifty people coming through the door within a time frame of about ten minutes. Some don’t have change; some are just starting and need to be given forms etc. Some want to buy tune books and or Hibernia CD’s. If a crowd is building, I am very much aware of that fact and as such, I worry about keeping members waiting.
If this guy really knew me or bothered to discuss his problem with me or other committee members, he would discover that I am probably one of the most considerate and respectful people he will ever meet. I give my time voluntarily to Hibernia and do everything in my power to ensure that Mr PK (whose name escapes me!!!!!!) and all of the other members have an enjoyable visit. Also, I must add that at £5.00 for an hour and a half lesson with some very talented teachers (one of our teachers was voted “All Britain Fiddle Champion” over several years), we provide unbelievable value for money.
Does PK know anything about my background, my workload, my personal circumstances, or, for that matter, does he care. Once everybody in the world that he has ever met, a few times, remembers HIS name, all the other problems, pale into insignificance?????????????
To make it worse, I was totally oblivious to all this backbiting going on without having an opportunity to defend myself or even to explain that my problem is nothing to do with a lack of consideration or respect for individuals names, in fact the opposite is the case. I consider names to be so important that my forgetting them is a major cause of stress and, as already mentioned, embarrassment to me.
Why does PK, do a hundred mile roundtrip to come to Hibernia??? Because it’s a brilliant mornings entertainment and Hibernia is there because of the effort put in by the committee and myself, to ensure that PK and the other members have a good time, playing music in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Friendly and welcoming is what Hibernia is all about. It would be nice to think that this PK person put “friendly” as high up the priority list as I do. There is certainly nothing friendly or considerate about the manner in which he has treated me, behind my back, without just cause. Cowardly? Or what???. PK you ought to be ashamed. I am glad I don’t know who you are but even if I did, I would still welcome you into Hibernia, as I do with everyone who walks through our door. I must simply put it down to ignorance on your part and say “there but for the grace of God, go I”. I constantly strive to remember a very appropriate phrase that my Dad used to use, which was, “It’s nice to be nice and it costs nothing. I am glad to see that In all this discussion, there have been some who jumped to my defense. To them, I say, “Thank You”.
They have obviously taken the time to get to know me a little better than the illustrious PK.
I look forward to welcoming you to our next Hibernia, as always
Go dTé tú slán
ALAN DOYLE
Chairman HIBERNIA CENTRE BRISTOL www.hiberniacentrebristol.org
You have my every sympathy, and I'm certain I'm not the only person that read that thread and could instantly see your side of the situation.
Having run public sessions in pubs and at festivals for a number of years I have met so many people there isn't a hope in hell I could remember them all, let alone their names, even if I've met them a dozen times. Luckily for me, none of them seems to have taken offence and they're all always keen to sit down for another set with me.
In fact I have been moved to discover that some of them felt those sessions were the highlight of the festival, and they've taken me aside to thank me for the effort I've put in, even though to me it's no effort at all as I love doing it.
Please take heart from the thought that over the years you've helped bring joy to hundreds of people, and if you've only p*ssed off one of them you've been batting a pretty world class average.
I also have great difficulty recalling names, sometimes of people I shouldn't forget, and yes, it's very embarrassing. Especially if I should be introducing somebody to another person I know and I can't because I've forgotten a name. It makes me appear rather rude if I don't introduce them, and rather stupid if I have to ask!
i apologized once for not being able to recall someone's name, and was informed that it was no doubt due to my extreme self-absorption -- which has been cold comfort since, as i continue to stumble with names. i used to get them wrong often enough that i now just go blank when confronted with a familiar but apparently nameless face, rather than try out a name and be insultingly wrong. i generally like people, and the possibility that i might misname an acquaintance is mind-numbing to me.
suggestion: hold an instrument at all times and, when someone whose name you should know, but don't, looms, grin affably and launch a set of reels.
I too am terrible with names, especially when I'm playing, or about to start, or just finished. But I do seem to remember what instrument(s) people played, and how well, even if I can't put a name to the face.
So I guess I'm not so much self-absorbed, as music-absorbed. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I didn't take part in the original discussion. But I thought at the time that the complaint was a little on the precious side and difficult to take seriously.
Alan- firstly, a personal apology. I was out of order posting the thread- it came out as as personal attack on you, when that was not at all the intention.
If you read through the original thread you will have seen that I learned something from the comments posted there about the problem some people have remembering names. I hadn't realised it was so widespread.
Again, I can only say I'm sorry to those people who felt attacked, and to yourself in particular. With hindsight, I can see that that wasn't at all a friendly way to go about things.
I just read through much of the original thread, which I didn't continue reading at the time.
Based on that I would like to add that the original poster did take the more critical comments rather well for the most part ,and appear to modify their opinion based on the replies posted. Which is quite refeshing behaviour on an internet discussion forum.
PK Thanks for the apology. It is really important to me that everyone concerned is aware of the fact that I do try very hard to remember names (by the way, that was a cheap shot on pretty girls) I know some of the members outside Hibernia, some are female, and see quite a lot of them socially, this does make it a lot easier to remember names, so less of that please!!!!!!! This has got silly enough. Thanks and regards and don't forget, if you are in Bristol on the Hibernia Saturday, please call in, I may not know your name???????? but, please, don't take it personally, I will do my best to make you feel welcome.
PK You need to look after the knees, just in case, when you come to Hibernia next (note the positive mental attitude), If I can't remember your name again, you may fall on them in exasperation haha. Obviously, just kidding!!!!!!!!! Doing my best!!!!!! By the way, Eno, thanks for the empathy and thanks to all the others who, obviously, share my problem.
P-K, if you're intending to go up Croagh Patrick on your knees then if you're going to do the job properly you've got to do it in bare feet as well Anyway, however you do it, you'll need a stick because the last third is the most difficult, and it's worse coming back down.
Don't do it, the knees thing, mine are shot along with my memory. Knees are an important thing we can too easily take for granted.
I'll gladly take that cuppa Rambler... I'm my own worse critic about my uncooperative memory...
It is heart warming to see this resolved as it has. I can already hear the pint glasses ringing as they gently nudge each other in a quiet toast... Keep up the good works...
When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Some people don't think tune names matter much. Fair enough. They can play, whistle or lilt tunes to others. The tunes probably won't be too bothered.
But what about your name, for instance. How often do you reckon you need to tell it to someone before it sticks? A couple of times if you see them fairly frequently? Beyond that, you begin to suspect rudeness, right?
Now imagine this scenario. You drive a 100+ mile round trip to an Irish music society (not a random session), which you've visited enough times over a few years to know a few people. There is a guy on the door (the Chairman, as it happens)- ostensibly there to meet and greet, make people feel welcome etc. etc. He's a cheery and friendly enough bloke, but though you've told him your name at least half a dozen times, he is still having trouble (we're talking first names here, nothing complicated). It's like being at school again. Anyway, for the nth time, you tell him your name as he takes your money and signs you in.
The next time you try gently heightening his awareness by joshingly calling him by a name you know isn't his. He's baffled- thinks you've made a mistake. You explain.
Next time, you raise the issue directly with him- indicate you're not happy with his attitude. You might as well not have bothered. Water off a duck's back. You leave it, but it sours the start of what is otherwise a good experience playing music with some friendly, nice folk, some of whom do actively get to know people and give their time voluntarily to make things run smoothly.
This scenario may be beginning to ring bells with a few people.
The reason I'm raising this is NOT because I feel I'm individually so important that other people should know and remember my name. But a few people I've spoken to would also appreciate a slightly more personal approach.
The main reason for raising this is that we are frequently being told by officials that the club/society's numbers (and hence its funds) are dwindling, so could we please encourage other people to come along. One possible way to make sure people attend more regularly is to make sure all- especially newcomers, in-comers, and less confident players- feel truly welcomed and recognised from the moment they arrive.
Apologies to all those people who have read this far and who are outside this little local difficulty. I have tried tackling this directly with the person concerned, but, as I said, with no success.
I think there are enough people from this place on the Mustard Board for the message to carry back to those who might like to think about, and hopefully rectify, this problem.
I've made a big thing of it, I know- but I don't rant that often, and needed to get this off my chest. Now, back to the playing
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
...and let it begin with me.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by feardearg
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I'm a teacher. I'm horrible with remembering names though I remember faces very well. It's not personal. That guys sees a lot of people. He might host events besides this one and see more people. I have a hell of a time remember 5 names in an intimate setting, let alone a shindig like this. I wouldn't take it so personally at all. Some people really do just have shoddy memories and a lot to remember!
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Fiddlechick7
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
You're right, Fiddlechick (I'll omit your number!)- I'm sure it's nothing personal from the guy himself, who as you say is doing this alongside mountains of other things, but when you are asked to repeat your name on a fairly regular basis, I can assure you it's a pain.
Maybe what I am really objecting to is the system, which with a slight tweaking, could solve both his problem and mine. Another member mentioned a simple solution- that people should just sign themselves in- leaving the greeter to do what he he is there for and good at- i.e. greeting the people.
Maybe a little brouhaha here will make that happen
On the broader front, I suppose we are back to the question of how far we can expect playing music together to be a satisfying experience in social interaction as well.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Wear one of those gigantic "Hello! My name is..." name tags next time - some people just need a visual cue since they can't learn the names by ear (ahem).
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Jusa Nutter Eejit
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
In your shoes I would donate a nice big box of nametags and a handful of good markers. I'd put on a nametag along with a big smile, then proceed to introduce myself around the room as I handed out nametags and asked people to wear them.
If nothing else, you'll get know as the "nametag guy" and people might remember your name, if no-one else's.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by worthy
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Nice idea, Jusa, but we're a reticent lot over here- wearing a name badge makes us uneasy at the best of times. Besides, people might think we're wearing it for our own benefit...
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Jeez, amyamanda- I think I'd rather be 'Gan Ainm' than 'the name-tag guy'- the ignomy of it! Smiling is of course another thing we have trouble with.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
If you were a pretty woman he'd remember your name on his hard drive from day 1, even if his memory is otherwise reduced to mush.
(Maybe you *are* a pretty woman - your details give no clues - but just not pretty enough...)
You could always have a quick sex change. If it didn't work, you could change back pronto. It seems very easy to do this these days.
But the day that paying to go to sessions becomes general is the day to turn one's back on them and, with a bodhran player on a string, set out on the open road to intimidate the settled populace and embrace feral conditions between / during trad raves.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by nicholas
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Nicholas- spot on- I have noticed his tendency to remember the women's names. Incidentally, they're all pretty to me.
(Are we still allowed to say that kind of thing these days?)
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
P-K, you could always spice up the name-tag gig with any number of false monikers for your own amusement:
Nick O'Teen
Paddy O'Furniture (tired and cliche, I know)
Siobhan Yernickers
Jimmy DeLatch
The list of possibilities is endless. Wouldn't it be great if your absent minded door man began calling you Ben Dover? You'd surely never be forgotten then...
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Jusa Nutter Eejit
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
i work for a company that supplies party noveltys i can supply you with a little pink badge with your name on it if you like and we also sell in bulk so you can have different coloured ones for different days of the weeks
just a thought
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by kilhoran
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Ah, yes, Paddy O'Furniture- I remember him well- close friend of Paddy O'Doors. Speaking of remembering, the autobiography of the late, great actor Alec Guinness was entitled "My Name Escapes Me" -isn't that brilliant?
Jusa, your list reminds me of an academic colleague, who used to while away time inventing names of fictitious students to fill up various spurious courses. Jenny Saykwa, Natalie Dressed, etc. I don't remember a Ben Dover, tho'.....
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
A little pink badge, eh? Now let me see....would you mind if I passed on that one?
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Some People Are Just Thick
I don't know rude-- they just might not care enough about you to remember your name. So just tell them to call you Matt Molloy, or Frankie Gavin. Soon enough they'll cop on to your real name. Unless of course you're Matt or Frankie. Then they would remember. Unless they're terminally thick.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by David Levine
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Cocus- great minds! I had thought about snatching the pen from him and signing in as Frankie. Or possibly just De Danaan? That would fox him!
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Tell me again why it's important he remembers your name??
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Dennis Regan
. . . psst
it's at the top of this page ;)
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Ben Steen
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I'm enjoying the irony of people who don't use there names here on this silly website complaining on this silly website that people can't remember their names. Daft precious eedjits
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
.eerga I
(-:
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Dennis Regan
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Human relations not your strong point, eh, llig? Another glib assumption. Read the first post.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
eet eet
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
"I've made a big thing of it, I know- but I don't rant that often, and needed to get this off my chest."
Tee he
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
There is an open mic night in Glasgow run by the mighty Gerry Lyons. Despite it always being a busy night and always having new folk each week he never needs to write a name down. He makes no list of the running order and doesn't forget anyone. It is some talent.
When a new person comes along the conversation tends to run:
New Person: Can I sing a song?
Gerry: Of course. What is your name?
New Person: Tom
Gerry: Nice to meet you. You are Tom No 3 tonight.
An hour later he calls up Tom No 3 and will introduce him as a new contributor. If Tom turns up again a month later Gerry will remember his name. It is wonderful for making folk feel welcome and included.
Not everyone is able to recall names and faces so easily however. I am pretty good with faces but rotten with names. I wouldn't let it worry you K-P. I am sure he doesn't mean anything by it.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by No Cause For Alarm
Reading backwards
llig leahcim = michael gill
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Ben Steen
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I think people who remember people's names either see them as individuals making memory easier or they work at it because they know how good it feels. The rest just don't think.
janmarie
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by janmarie
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I'm enjoying the irony of people who want people to know their names, albeit backwards, on this silly website taking the p*ss out of people who want people to know their names in real life.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
If you are concerned about people knowing your name in real life then the quickest way to fix that is to commit multiple homicides. It certainly beats trailing it on a "silly website".
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by No Cause For Alarm
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Remembering names is important but I don't seem to be able to do it reliably. The same happens with anything to do with taxation or superannuation and, unfortunately, music theory.
At the same time I can retain unimportant facts and figures seemingly forever. A psychologist friend says some form of word association helps, but that seems to be giving twice as much to remember.
It's as if the brain has different draws for different categories of information. Some of these draws are always accessible, some are right down the bottom and stick shut, and others spill their contents over the back never to be seen again.
The most impressive memory feat I've seen occurred on a river cruise in Africa. The drinks waiter took orders from maybe a hundred people, writing down nothing, then delivered them correctly. Later in the cruise he returned to see if anybody wanted another, correctly remembering what they'd had the first time round. It was thirty years ago so less likely that he had a hidden recorder.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by All Moldy
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I am horrible with names. I used to joke that I needed an entourage around me to whisper names into my ear so that I wouldn't offend donors when served a term as president of a small not for profit. (Sort of that scene in "The Devil Wears Prada."
My question is: do the other people in this music society remember you? Maybe this guy doesn't, but of the whole group, are your remembered? Are you involved only yearly, or do you participate in planning and other supportive events (if you can). Hopefully it's just this one person who is this forgetful.
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by grumblingoldwoman
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
A good friend of mine sits all day long in the pub and welcomes the tourists who wander in off the "Tartan zone". He remembers names and faces and stories. I've seen him welcome an old American couple who he only met once, for about an hour, six years previously. He knew their names and what they did etc. It's some talent.
I think the point is that it's great when someone remembers you. It makes you feel good. But that's a whole different ball game from expecting people to remember you. From being p*ssed off when they don't.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
A few years ago my wife came to visit me in my office. Conveniently, all 13 of my officemates who I had been working with for about 5 years were in the conference room having lunch. I bravely decided to introduce her to them. I made it through 9 before I forgot the 10th one's name. No offence, though. They were surprised I made it that far and that I was daring enough to try. I wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of remembering a guy's name I only met 6 times.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by bigpalooka
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Why not just state the bloody obvious; the meeter/greeter guy has no reason to remember you and most likely could care less.
And why should it bother you and your insecurity? Quit holding on to something and trying to control a ludicrous situation. Just move on and enjoy the real importance of why you went there.
I have enough trouble remembering who I am, let alone other people. You'll get over it eventually. ;)
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Lint - upon - Tweed
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Everytime I'm introduced to someone new, I say their name three times to myself, so I can commit it to memory- but it doesn't always work
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Greg the Piano Tuner
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
People always say the full name of a multiple homicide. Would you like for us to remember your middle name too?
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Atahualpa Quigley
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Well, I'll remember P dash K - he/she is the one who made a big deal out of someone not remembering their name name. Someone he's seen how many times over the last few years? And then someone brings up an idea, an oh no we're too reticent over here to wear name tags, I'd rather complain and feel hurt.
Heck, if i was the Chairman/Greeeter I'd probably not remember your name on purpose...
Scott
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by wileydog
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
P-K - I do of course know the "Irish music society" that that you are referring to, and I also know its chairman quite well.
I would certainly agree with you that there are a few things that are wrong with that particular society that need to be addressed, but I don't really think that the chairman's "meeting and greeting" is one of them!
The person in question is one hell of a nice guy, and really does put a lot of effort in making folks feel welcome at the door. Sure, by his own admission, he's bad at remembering names - I can sympathise with that, because I'm lousy at it myself!
On one particular Saturday morning I was given the task of manning the door when the chairman was busy. It's more difficult than you might think! Swarms of people all arriving at once, and people going in and out of the building when they've already paid! On a number of occasions I found myself thinking: "Well, I know who you are are, but I just can't recall your name, which group you belong to, or whether you've paid or not!".
It's a shame that you are never able to get to the Saturday evening pub sessions. There, you are all in one room, the atmosphere is unhurried and relaxed, and you get to be able to fix other peoples' names in your mind!
- Mix
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
OK- thanks for the replies, even the slagging- I probably deserved that. I honestly don't think it's an ego thing, more that I happen to be reasonably good with names, less good with playing, hence the insecurity someone mentioned. It's still quite a big deal for me to get myself out and travel to play with other people. A few years down the line, maybe, I'll be able to take it in my stride.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Sorry, Mix- I posted before yours appeared- and thank you for that. As you say, I'm sure he's a good guy doing a difficult job, and maybe it's the mayhem of arrivals you mention as much as anything which gets to me- I probably don't see that many people in a month. Maybe I'll try coming to the evening session instead for a bit, because, despite making a bit of a prat of myself in this thread, I do enjoy playing with you guys.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Diving header in the six-yard box.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by hotspur
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I've had problems remembering names all my life. For some people it doesn't come easy to remember names and accurately attach them to faces.
I don't go around attacking people and slagging them off for being sh*te at mathematics (something i'm very good at), or who have reading issues like dyslexia, so why do others feel the right to slag people off and attack people publicly who have problems accurately remembering names?
I know from personal experience that it doesn't make for smooth and easy socialising when you have to continuously ask someone their name because you simply cannot remember it no matter how hard you try. To have people attack you and slag you off for being ignorant on top of that is not at all helpful.
I've been going to a club for 9 months now and i'm still struggling to remember people's names there. In my head there's a big pile of faces and a big pile of names and a lot of the connections between the two are simply not there and i don't know which name to put with which face. It takes me a long time to start putting a name accurately to a face.
So cut people some slack, life's difficult enough when you can't remember people's names.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by freefeet
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Phone numbers too. And pin numbers. Birthdays etc. Useless.
But how come I can remember reems and reems of diddley tunes I'll never know. Even tunes I don't particularly like. Tunes I've not tried to remember. Even tunes I've made a concerted effort to forget. All still there. The bastards
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
"Everytime I'm introduced to someone new, I say their name three times to myself, so I can commit it to memory - it doesn't always work."
Well done Greg. Umm any tips on remembering it long enough to repeat three times?
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by All Moldy
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
OK, here's another variation on abilities. I have a vision impaired friend at a singing group. He can't read a song but will have it perfectly memorised after once or twice through and is almost as good with the tune. There's no way I can do that. However he's rarely able to identify other members by their voice, but after a career in radio communications I can frequently identify by voice people I have never met face to face .
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by All Moldy
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I'd genuinely never realised that remembering names was such a widespread problem for people. Apologies- no hurt intended.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Michael do you mean reams & reams of tunes?
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Ben Steen
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
"When you treat people as Gan Ainms".....they will stop coming to your local session.
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by fauxcelt
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Just out of interest, what does PJ stand for anyway?
# Posted on August 31st 2009 by Dennis Regan
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
When I worked in a bar somebody once complained that I didn't recall his name. He seemed happy enough when I said that I had maybe a thousand customers who remembered my name, especially when they wanted serving, but I couldn't remember all of theirs. The staff referred to customers not by their names but by their order, eg 'Guinness and two lagers' or 'half a shandy'.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by gam
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I remember a particularly splendid one night stand, 25 or so years ago. In the morning, just as that gentle half asleep thing was gently turning into that gentle half awake thing, the gorgeous lady suddenly jumped on me, sat astride my chest and pinned my wrists beside my ears. She leaned over, close, face to face, and calmly but clearly stated ... "You can't remember my name .... can you?"
I think it was the most terrified I've ever been in my whole life.
Worth it though.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Well, come on, could you remember her name?
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by John Culhane
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I bet she didn't give a bugger.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Steve Shaw
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
she'd probably pronounced her name backwards just to throw you off track, and was testing whether you'd remember or not.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
It's nothing to worry about, llig; when you get to the stage of finding yourself admiring a woman and you don't know why you are doing that - then you'll have something to worry about.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Some years ago, at the end of a ceilidh (for which my band had been playing), someone approached the stage and started up a conversation with me. After a minute or two, it became clear to me that this guy knew me - but could I think who this guy was? Could I hell!
So after I while, I said: "Please accept my apologies, but how is it that you know me?
He replied: "I'm your doctor!"
... oops!
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
The bloke on the door maybe remembers names but forgets faces, like he knows there's this P-K chap who usually comes for a tune, but he's forgotten which face goes with P-K. I wouldn't worry about it
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Steamwilkes
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
P-K, the Chairman of that Irish music society will probably be mighty confused if you announce yourself as "P-K" next time you turn up! I think I'll change my name to Piotr Zak for my arrival.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Trevor Jennings
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
What if someone tried to give everyone a name whether it was right or not, like some people do with tunes?
"Oh yeah, it's Bob! Hi Bob!" ['Isn't that Mike?"]
"That last tune was the Pipe on the Hob." ["What? Wasn't that Gander in the Pratie Hole?"]
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I suffer from a mild amount of Prosopagnosia. This is “Face Blindness” meaning I don’t recognize or perhaps confuse faces. What it means in a practical sense is that I have trouble knowing if a face I see playing a fiddle, say, is the same person that I friendly and copiously spoke to the previous week. I also have trouble with names (because I often confuse vague face recollection with a bad name memory!) And due to too many embarrassing occasions in my past, these days I tend to wait for people to make them selves known to me. It leads to a complete lack of confidence when speaking to people as one usually says their name first (“Johan! How’s your diamond smuggling business?” “Seamus, that bottle of poteen was shiet”) The behaviour associated with Prosopagnosia often comes across as “blanking” and I’m sure lots of people think I’m a very moody and/ or snooty git! I do slowly get to recognize people and remember their names but it can take a long time.
But sitting here now, away from my regular session I can picture and recall the names of the usuals: Queenie (fiddle), Iqbal (flute), Gladstone (fiddle), Dorothea (whistle), Mtumbe (box), Boris (flute), Sivapillaikumarrajahnathan (tenor banjo), Welshy (Bodhran), Neptune (pipes), Caitlin (harp) and Frigg (bouzouki).
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Krick Stahlschwanz
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Thanks to your collective comments, I think I've at last realised what it is I was actually belly-aching about. That he *remembers* it, or not, is not the issue. Just that he stop asking me to repeat it so he can write it in his bloody book
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
"... calmly but clearly stated ... "You can't remember my name .... can you?" "
I think that might in fact have been a disguised command NOT to remember her name.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by Trevor Jennings
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Sometimes, when we can't remember the name of one of our patients, we will refer to the patient by their bed number. For example, as Mr. Bed Number Two.
The only time in my life when I woke up in bed with a strange woman whom I had never seen before, she was polite enough to introduce herself to me and then ask me for my name when she woke up and noticed that she was in bed with a strange man.
Several years later, this woman married one of my friends and she is still married to him. Yes I am still friends with both of them.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by fauxcelt
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I'm rubbish at remembering names of faces of people but quite good at remembering names and faces of horses. There might be something wrong with me.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by DrSilverSpear
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Poor Spear - the victim of too much nagging.
# Posted on September 1st 2009 by All Moldy
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
P-K, hope to see you on Saturday. Remember, you're Number 6, I'm Number 2.
# Posted on September 2nd 2009 by Trevor Jennings
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
SilverSpear, if you are better at remembering the names and faces of horses than you are at remembering the names and faces of people, then you have the same problem which afflicts my wife and her relatives (all of them love horses).
To borrow from All Moldy's comment.....my wife and her relatives suffer from this problem because they (and myself) are all the victims of too much nagging from my wife's older sister.
# Posted on September 2nd 2009 by fauxcelt
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
I don't know the names of any horses Silverspear, but I'm good at remembering the names of cars even ones from way back in the last century that I haven't seen for a long time, like Humber Super Snipe, Singer Gazelle, Austin A35, Riley 2.4 etc.
# Posted on September 3rd 2009 by Steamwilkes
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
They're the ones I can identify too. Most cars now look as if they've come from the same CAD program, so you have to read the name to know what they are. Now there's a thought - if people wore name tags . . . . .
# Posted on September 3rd 2009 by All Moldy
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Lazyhound, are you and P-K, "The Prisoner" of your past?
# Posted on September 4th 2009 by fauxcelt
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Is there anything in the statistic that 99.8% of all the horses in the UK are owned by women?
# Posted on September 4th 2009 by ...
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Wouldn't surprise me.
# Posted on September 4th 2009 by DrSilverSpear
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
PK you obviously know very little about me.
I am Alan Doyle, Chairman of Hibernia, the Irish music organization in question, and I am enraged by the attitude of this guy PK. I am very much aware of the importance of remembering people’s names and I am also very embarrassed by my problem with regard to memory. It is a problem that has become worse over the past few years. It becomes worse when I am stressed or under pressure. Does he think that I choose to make myself look like a idiot when I forget the names of some people that I have know much longer than I have “apparently” known him. Every Hibernia session, I have a flood of between thirty and fifty people coming through the door within a time frame of about ten minutes. Some don’t have change; some are just starting and need to be given forms etc. Some want to buy tune books and or Hibernia CD’s. If a crowd is building, I am very much aware of that fact and as such, I worry about keeping members waiting.
If this guy really knew me or bothered to discuss his problem with me or other committee members, he would discover that I am probably one of the most considerate and respectful people he will ever meet. I give my time voluntarily to Hibernia and do everything in my power to ensure that Mr PK (whose name escapes me!!!!!!) and all of the other members have an enjoyable visit. Also, I must add that at £5.00 for an hour and a half lesson with some very talented teachers (one of our teachers was voted “All Britain Fiddle Champion” over several years), we provide unbelievable value for money.
Does PK know anything about my background, my workload, my personal circumstances, or, for that matter, does he care. Once everybody in the world that he has ever met, a few times, remembers HIS name, all the other problems, pale into insignificance?????????????
To make it worse, I was totally oblivious to all this backbiting going on without having an opportunity to defend myself or even to explain that my problem is nothing to do with a lack of consideration or respect for individuals names, in fact the opposite is the case. I consider names to be so important that my forgetting them is a major cause of stress and, as already mentioned, embarrassment to me.
Why does PK, do a hundred mile roundtrip to come to Hibernia??? Because it’s a brilliant mornings entertainment and Hibernia is there because of the effort put in by the committee and myself, to ensure that PK and the other members have a good time, playing music in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Friendly and welcoming is what Hibernia is all about. It would be nice to think that this PK person put “friendly” as high up the priority list as I do. There is certainly nothing friendly or considerate about the manner in which he has treated me, behind my back, without just cause. Cowardly? Or what???. PK you ought to be ashamed. I am glad I don’t know who you are but even if I did, I would still welcome you into Hibernia, as I do with everyone who walks through our door. I must simply put it down to ignorance on your part and say “there but for the grace of God, go I”. I constantly strive to remember a very appropriate phrase that my Dad used to use, which was, “It’s nice to be nice and it costs nothing. I am glad to see that In all this discussion, there have been some who jumped to my defense. To them, I say, “Thank You”.
They have obviously taken the time to get to know me a little better than the illustrious PK.
I look forward to welcoming you to our next Hibernia, as always
Go dTé tú slán
ALAN DOYLE
Chairman HIBERNIA CENTRE BRISTOL www.hiberniacentrebristol.org
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Alan Doyle
When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
Apologies for adding this as a new discussion but I think my comments on the original one might not be seen.
PK you obviously know very little about me.
I am Alan Doyle, Chairman of Hibernia, the Irish music organization in question, and I am enraged by the attitude of this guy PK. I am very much aware of the importance of remembering people’s names and I am also very embarrassed by my problem with regard to memory. It is a problem that has become worse over the past few years. It becomes worse when I am stressed or under pressure. Does he think that I choose to make myself look like a idiot when I forget the names of some people that I have know much longer than I have “apparently” known him. Every Hibernia session, I have a flood of between thirty and fifty people coming through the door within a time frame of about ten minutes. Some don’t have change; some are just starting and need to be given forms etc. Some want to buy tune books and or Hibernia CD’s. If a crowd is building, I am very much aware of that fact and as such, I worry about keeping members waiting.
If this guy really knew me or bothered to discuss his problem with me or other committee members, he would discover that I am probably one of the most considerate and respectful people he will ever meet. I give my time voluntarily to Hibernia and do everything in my power to ensure that Mr PK (whose name escapes me!!!!!!) and all of the other members have an enjoyable visit. Also, I must add that at £5.00 for an hour and a half lesson with some very talented teachers (one of our teachers was voted “All Britain Fiddle Champion” over several years), we provide unbelievable value for money.
Does PK know anything about my background, my workload, my personal circumstances, or, for that matter, does he care. Once everybody in the world that he has ever met, a few times, remembers HIS name, all the other problems, pale into insignificance?????????????
To make it worse, I was totally oblivious to all this backbiting going on without having an opportunity to defend myself or even to explain that my problem is nothing to do with a lack of consideration or respect for individuals names, in fact the opposite is the case. I consider names to be so important that my forgetting them is a major cause of stress and, as already mentioned, embarrassment to me.
Why does PK, do a hundred mile roundtrip to come to Hibernia??? Because it’s a brilliant mornings entertainment and Hibernia is there because of the effort put in by the committee and myself, to ensure that PK and the other members have a good time, playing music in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Friendly and welcoming is what Hibernia is all about. It would be nice to think that this PK person put “friendly” as high up the priority list as I do. There is certainly nothing friendly or considerate about the manner in which he has treated me, behind my back, without just cause. Cowardly? Or what???. PK you ought to be ashamed. I am glad I don’t know who you are but even if I did, I would still welcome you into Hibernia, as I do with everyone who walks through our door. I must simply put it down to ignorance on your part and say “there but for the grace of God, go I”. I constantly strive to remember a very appropriate phrase that my Dad used to use, which was, “It’s nice to be nice and it costs nothing. I am glad to see that In all this discussion, there have been some who jumped to my defense. To them, I say, “Thank You”.
They have obviously taken the time to get to know me a little better than the illustrious PK.
I look forward to welcoming you to our next Hibernia, as always
Go dTé tú slán
ALAN DOYLE
Chairman HIBERNIA CENTRE BRISTOL www.hiberniacentrebristol.org
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Alan Doyle
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
Alan,
You have my every sympathy, and I'm certain I'm not the only person that read that thread and could instantly see your side of the situation.
Having run public sessions in pubs and at festivals for a number of years I have met so many people there isn't a hope in hell I could remember them all, let alone their names, even if I've met them a dozen times. Luckily for me, none of them seems to have taken offence and they're all always keen to sit down for another set with me.
In fact I have been moved to discover that some of them felt those sessions were the highlight of the festival, and they've taken me aside to thank me for the effort I've put in, even though to me it's no effort at all as I love doing it.
Please take heart from the thought that over the years you've helped bring joy to hundreds of people, and if you've only p*ssed off one of them you've been batting a pretty world class average.
Eno
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by bc_box_player
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
I also have great difficulty recalling names, sometimes of people I shouldn't forget, and yes, it's very embarrassing. Especially if I should be introducing somebody to another person I know and I can't because I've forgotten a name. It makes me appear rather rude if I don't introduce them, and rather stupid if I have to ask!
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Bredna
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
Ditto - I'm no good with the names.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Hup
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
i apologized once for not being able to recall someone's name, and was informed that it was no doubt due to my extreme self-absorption -- which has been cold comfort since, as i continue to stumble with names. i used to get them wrong often enough that i now just go blank when confronted with a familiar but apparently nameless face, rather than try out a name and be insultingly wrong. i generally like people, and the possibility that i might misname an acquaintance is mind-numbing to me.
suggestion: hold an instrument at all times and, when someone whose name you should know, but don't, looms, grin affably and launch a set of reels.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by 'tinamatt
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
I too am terrible with names, especially when I'm playing, or about to start, or just finished. But I do seem to remember what instrument(s) people played, and how well, even if I can't put a name to the face.
So I guess I'm not so much self-absorbed, as music-absorbed. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by John Galt
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
Way to go, PK. Your plan to have Alan remember your name is working well. Just give out your name and your plan will have come full circle.
This is even more clever than the Emperor figuring out good Star Wars dialog. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhnPaiSFVSE
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by awildman
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
I'm not bad with names, but terrivle with faces. Equally embarrassing, as I spend my life unsure if I've met people before.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by minijackpot
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
I didn't take part in the original discussion. But I thought at the time that the complaint was a little on the precious side and difficult to take seriously.
- Chris
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
Alan- firstly, a personal apology. I was out of order posting the thread- it came out as as personal attack on you, when that was not at all the intention.
If you read through the original thread you will have seen that I learned something from the comments posted there about the problem some people have remembering names. I hadn't realised it was so widespread.
Again, I can only say I'm sorry to those people who felt attacked, and to yourself in particular. With hindsight, I can see that that wasn't at all a friendly way to go about things.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
I just read through much of the original thread, which I didn't continue reading at the time.
Based on that I would like to add that the original poster did take the more critical comments rather well for the most part ,and appear to modify their opinion based on the replies posted. Which is quite refeshing behaviour on an internet discussion forum.
- chris
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
oops, cross posted with P-K's message, which actually makes my point much bettre than I coulod myself, coming from the Horses Mouth
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ramblingpitchfork
Hibernia Centre ~ Bristol
http://www.hiberniacentrebristol.org/
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ceolachan
Re: When you treat people as gan ainms contd.
When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
# Posted on August 30th 2009 by P-K
http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/22526
~ guilty! ~ & dyslexic (short term memory) ~ 'c'
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ceolachan
When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/22526
# Posted on September 20th 2009 by Alan Doyle
http://www.hiberniacentrebristol.org/
~ as I was saying ~ the previous meant for elsewhere...
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ceolachan
Damn, duplication, I got it right the first time... Sorry, still shell shocked, several long stories worth...
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ceolachan
I got the names confused...
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ceolachan
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Cup of tea for Ceolachan. Quick! Somebody.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ramblingpitchfork
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
PK Thanks for the apology. It is really important to me that everyone concerned is aware of the fact that I do try very hard to remember names (by the way, that was a cheap shot on pretty girls) I know some of the members outside Hibernia, some are female, and see quite a lot of them socially, this does make it a lot easier to remember names, so less of that please!!!!!!! This has got silly enough. Thanks and regards and don't forget, if you are in Bristol on the Hibernia Saturday, please call in, I may not know your name???????? but, please, don't take it personally, I will do my best to make you feel welcome.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Alan Doyle
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Thanks, Alan- good man. I'll cancel that trip to Craogh Patrick now- wasn't fancying doing that climb on my knees
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Croagh!
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
PK You need to look after the knees, just in case, when you come to Hibernia next (note the positive mental attitude), If I can't remember your name again, you may fall on them in exasperation haha. Obviously, just kidding!!!!!!!!! Doing my best!!!!!! By the way, Eno, thanks for the empathy and thanks to all the others who, obviously, share my problem.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Alan Doyle
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Right, I'll bring the knee-pads then...
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Here Lyeth
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
P-K, if you're intending to go up Croagh Patrick on your knees then if you're going to do the job properly you've got to do it in bare feet as well
Anyway, however you do it, you'll need a stick because the last third is the most difficult, and it's worse coming back down.
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by Trevor Jennings
Re: When you treat People as Gan Ainms...
Don't do it, the knees thing, mine are shot along with my memory. Knees are an important thing we can too easily take for granted.
I'll gladly take that cuppa Rambler... I'm my own worse critic about my uncooperative memory...
It is heart warming to see this resolved as it has. I can already hear the pint glasses ringing as they gently nudge each other in a quiet toast... Keep up the good works...
# Posted on September 21st 2009 by ceolachan