You should run, not walk, in the other direction if any one or more of the following conditions is present at the session you’re visiting for the first time:
... A super-star (e.g. Liz Carroll, Kevin Burke, Frankie Gavin) is there.
... Someone who thinks he’s a super-star is there.
... The pub owner seems to have a thing for leprechauns.
... The family of piano-accordion-playing quadruplets from the next town shows up and is warmly greeted by the others.
... Eight of the ten musicians sitting at the table have tune-books open in front of them and the other two are reading Pizza Hut take-out menus.
... Al, the tone-deaf florist who specializes in attempting to sing John McCormack songs, grabs the seat next to yours and introduces himself with a limp handshake.
... There are three mikes, two speakers, one monitor, and 14 chairs. The sound system is controlled by the Alpha Musician and the others seem grateful for his "assistance".
... No one pretends to know the names of ANY tunes.
... There’s a semi-professional Pun Vendor in attendance who doesn’t play much but makes many stupid comments.
... The Alpha Musician refuses to play "Haste to the Wedding" or "The Boys of Blue Hill" but can imitate (badly and continuously) every reel Martin Hayes ever played.
... The local bodhrán institute adjourns from its weekly class just in time for its students to make it across town to this particular session.
... Three members of the local Angry Feminist Poetry sisterhood are preparing to inflict their most recent works on everyone during anything that looks like a break in the music.
... You start to play something and two people down at the other end of the table start to giggle uncontrollably.
... You start to play something and YOU start to giggle uncontrollably.
... You get up to take a leak and find your whistle stuffed with feta cheese when you return. Everyone feigns innocence but no one offers to help you get the cheese out.
... You tentatively join in on a tune, and the Alpha Musician stops and glares at you until you stop playing. The music does not resume until you have put your instrument on the table and removed your hands from its immediate vicinity. You never get the sliding microphone again, ever.
... The cute blonde flute player who you swear winked at you when you came in turns out to be a transvestite pipe-fitter named Shank.
... Three of the local Celtic (Hard C) Dance Cooperative members attempt an eight-hand reel while you're playing the "Kesh Jig". They get a big hand from audience and musicians alike when they finish.
... A fuzz-cheeked youth who has been playing for all of two months and knows exactly eight tunes makes a face when you suggest a slide or a polka. He mutters something about "not really traditional" but emits an audible sigh of relief when the gang swings into "Planxty Irwin".
Do NOT attempt to deal with any of these issues by yourself. Seek professional help immediately in any of the above circumstances!
Saw John Hegley last week, at a folk club.
Ok, he's really a performance poet, but he DOES like performing in folk clubs, plays the mandolin and the ukulele, etc.
Anyway he had this story of working in a tv studio in Carlisle, or some other northern town, and afterwards he and the crew went to the local pub, where there seemed to be a small session going on in one corner. Seeing the opportunity to impress his colleagues, he said, "I know what to do here", walked over to the session and, at the next lull, stepped in the middle and began "Tom Pearce, Tom Pearce, lend me your grey mare...." and there was a micro-second of shock and delay before the session all chimed in "All along, down along.....etc".
Ok, some people couldn't have got away with it.
out there, there are those natural perfomers who ' . . . have got it . . ' which i put down to a certain 6th sense (a hard one to completely nail) and a bucket full of confidence _ they know exactly what they're doing and pull it off accordingly (even professionally)
always impressive, witness and be inspired, these are the real 'magicians' amongst us
I was in a session at the Fleadh in Tullamore last year, when a family sat at the piano next to us, and the girls (about 10 and 12) began to practice their competition pieces - over and over again, while Dad nodded along.
Luckily, it was the Bridge House, so there were plenty of alternatives, so we upped and moved to the back, but what a fec king pain in the ar$e!
Everyone must have that story.... I was at a session in London at the Camden festival, playing away with a bunch of the London regulars. Then a very well-known flute player who was in town for the festival joined us and we all thought that was pretty cool. A few tunes later, these five kids and their father joined the session, the kids all with susato whistles. They played one tune and everyone was like, Well that was very sweet... give the kids the opportunity to play a tune with a session like that. Then dad encouraged them to play another, and another, and another. It was clear this was going to drag on for a while so most of us in that session bailed. We were very grumpy about it at the time but in retrospect it's quite funny.
A session I attended recently got swamped by waltzes --- going
from Trad to Aussie bush band session in moments. Actually
I've been to more than one like that; sorry I just can't get into them.
ok here's the reply of the angry feminist irish trad fiddler group:
If at a session any of the following happens...:
- you're the only woman in the group of 15 musicians
- everybody makes rude jokes about the good/not-so-good-lookin waitress or aforementioned transvestite pipe-fitter
- nobody makes rude jokes about females at all, no, they're all even extremly nice and encouraging towards you because you're the only woman in the group of 15 musicians
- someone keeps asking female session members if they woulnd't want to join the competition for Rose of Tralee
- you say to your neighbour "this guy plays really well" and get as an answer "oh, you should hear his wife" - only the wife never showed up to any session, somebody has to look after the kids at home after all
- aforementioned fuzzy-cheeked youth confesses to you in a quiet moment that he believes himself to be a direct descendant of the ancient celts and really admires the way their society worked with the men being fierce warriors and the women the keepers of the hearth in total union with mother earth
- aforementioned fuzzy-cheeked youth and/or seasoned, bearded 15 male session members just completely ignore you (still, even the fifth time you show up there)
- you're the only woman in there except for aforementioned Celtic Dance Group consisting entirely of women 10 years younger than you, all blondes in extremely short skirts
... if any of this should happen, run, duck for cover and find your quickest way to the Women's Studies department at your local college where someone finally will write that thesis about the gender issue in irish trad sessions....!
That reminds me of another one of Zouk's amusing posts from his archive, check this sad story out:
Dear Zouki:
I'm a male carnivorous bodhrán player who loves watching wrestling, drooling over "Playboy", and who believes sincerely that a Bacon Double-Cheeseburger may be Nature's Perfect Food (Biggie Fries included). I also own bowling shoes and am not ashamed of having two or three six-packs in my refrigerator at any given time.
For me a perfect session consist of nothing but reels, the faster the better. My session buddies are Louie, Kinch the Unclean, Spike, Mick, and Foosh. I am convinced that the invention of the piano accordion is proof of divine inter-vention in human affairs. Passing gas at our session table is not en-couraged, but will under normal circumstances not result in anything more than tasteless banter of less than a minute's duration.
My girl friend is a vegetarian whistle/dulcimer player who normally wears long non-wool dresses of no particular color and birkenstocks, and who spends inordinate amounts of time in the nearby woods playing tunes for the skunks, squirrels, and other critters. Once while playing "The Butterfly" (one of her favorites), she was severely bitten by a demented chipmunk and had to get rabies shots (after being heavily sedated to put an end to her protests about "animalism", whatever the hell that means).
Her idea of a session is to gather in some poor innocent oak grove with the other Artichoke Lovers, tootle or strum away on a couple of slip jigs, jump into the O'Carolan repertoire for an hour or two, and top the whole confection off with a blaze of strathspeys. If I dare to say anything about this, she stares at my bodhrán, hums "The Kid on the Mountain" while choking back sobs, and eventually allows tears to come into her eyes. (I think the skin on my bodhrán is actually plastic, but that's a whole other story.) Her session soulmates are Fawn, Laughing Water, StarPriestess, Ariel, and Lilith (who I think is actually a guy but I can't prove it).
Their session table - at the Sentient Being Coffeehouse - always has a vague aroma of incense and/or vanilla candles. Their standard session snack is a plate of green things grown on a farm that promotes Vegetable Euthanasia.
In my heart of hearts I think she's a little wacky, but I love her anyway, even if she does pray to her salad occasionally (for "forgiveness", she says). I’m convinced that with a certain amount of guidance and luck, she’d make a great wife and mother.
My apologies to any green thing-eating folks playing Carolans in forest groves or at coffee houses. I didn't write the thing, don't shoot the messenger.
Now can you please put out the incense and vanilla candles? I'm about to fire up a set of reels here.
The angry feminist sisterhood (aka "wimmin"...) were an appalling phenomenon of the lower circles of UK cultural life in the Seventies especially. Their thuggish clumsy squawkings and oppression fantasies were not to be borne.
They are now running the country.
Their uniform tended to be a Morris Traveller van with fungus growing in the windows, and "ATOMCRAFT - NEIN DANKE!" badges and stickers all over the place.
They must have existed in Germany, but I assume their cars were better even if their poetry wasn't.
Morris Travellers having mainly succumbed to various forms of wood decay, I have an elderly Volvo estate with moss growing along the window-seals. Nothing wrong with that.
The vehicle is definitely organic. Should it really have a woman owner, though ? I cherish it as a phallic symbol, ( despite no-one else agreeing with me ) as it's long, thick, heavy, and goes on almost indefinitely ( 184.000 miles on the clock so far. )
well, angry wimmin sisterhoods, "Kampflesben" etc. still exist and I don't like them much. I also don't like to be called one. And i don't like nuclear power. I do like Xena, the warrior princess, though .
The point is: as you may have noticed from my earlier post, the thuggish clumsy squawkings and oppression fantasies have shifted position and are today the domain of aforementioned fuzzy-cheeked-would-be-celtic/viking-warrior-youths and seasoned session goers growing fungus in their beards....or something...
And you have powers of expression that some of the sisterhood - some of the markedly vocal ones, I mean - have tended to lack. I recognise the vignettes you draw, and they are acute enough to provoke a wince! Certainly the fuzzy-cheeked wannabe Celtic warrior youths.
No i didn't feel that you meant me, Nicolas. Seems a shame that i missed those angry wimmin sisterhood times if just for the amusement , but i can well imagine what's meant here . Wannabe celtic warriors certainly are bad, the invitation to run for Rose of Tralee is something that actually happened in the virtual conversation on the germanspeaking fiddle forum (seemingly through SWFL's alter ego ). Just to make this clear i did enjoy both posts very much, the first here and the one about the vegetarian-tinwhistler-herbal-tea-hippie girlfriend. Some vignettes there very nicely drawn as well and oops, reminding me of myself in some aspects. Well i don't play to the squirrels but i'm certainly quite happy playing the Butterfly in a nice wood !
and i wouldn't know so much about fuzzy-cheeked-wannabe-celtic-warrior-youths if i didn't sometimes frequent places where you can meet them. Only i think it's their girlfriends, not mine, who are called StarPriestess and Lilith
Warning: problem session in progress!
Warning: problem session in progress!
You should run, not walk, in the other direction if any one or more of the following conditions is present at the session you’re visiting for the first time:
... A super-star (e.g. Liz Carroll, Kevin Burke, Frankie Gavin) is there.
... Someone who thinks he’s a super-star is there.
... The pub owner seems to have a thing for leprechauns.
... The family of piano-accordion-playing quadruplets from the next town shows up and is warmly greeted by the others.
... Eight of the ten musicians sitting at the table have tune-books open in front of them and the other two are reading Pizza Hut take-out menus.
... Al, the tone-deaf florist who specializes in attempting to sing John McCormack songs, grabs the seat next to yours and introduces himself with a limp handshake.
... There are three mikes, two speakers, one monitor, and 14 chairs. The sound system is controlled by the Alpha Musician and the others seem grateful for his "assistance".
... No one pretends to know the names of ANY tunes.
... There’s a semi-professional Pun Vendor in attendance who doesn’t play much but makes many stupid comments.
... The Alpha Musician refuses to play "Haste to the Wedding" or "The Boys of Blue Hill" but can imitate (badly and continuously) every reel Martin Hayes ever played.
... The local bodhrán institute adjourns from its weekly class just in time for its students to make it across town to this particular session.
... Three members of the local Angry Feminist Poetry sisterhood are preparing to inflict their most recent works on everyone during anything that looks like a break in the music.
... You start to play something and two people down at the other end of the table start to giggle uncontrollably.
... You start to play something and YOU start to giggle uncontrollably.
... You get up to take a leak and find your whistle stuffed with feta cheese when you return. Everyone feigns innocence but no one offers to help you get the cheese out.
... You tentatively join in on a tune, and the Alpha Musician stops and glares at you until you stop playing. The music does not resume until you have put your instrument on the table and removed your hands from its immediate vicinity. You never get the sliding microphone again, ever.
... The cute blonde flute player who you swear winked at you when you came in turns out to be a transvestite pipe-fitter named Shank.
... Three of the local Celtic (Hard C) Dance Cooperative members attempt an eight-hand reel while you're playing the "Kesh Jig". They get a big hand from audience and musicians alike when they finish.
... A fuzz-cheeked youth who has been playing for all of two months and knows exactly eight tunes makes a face when you suggest a slide or a polka. He mutters something about "not really traditional" but emits an audible sigh of relief when the gang swings into "Planxty Irwin".
Do NOT attempt to deal with any of these issues by yourself. Seek professional help immediately in any of the above circumstances!
(From “ZOUKI'S POSTS TO IRTRAD, 1995 TO PRESENT”)
http://www.qmcorp.net/scripta/irtrad2/problem_session.pdf
# Posted on April 14th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
i was the 'victim' of no.7 not a few months ago . . .never again
# Posted on April 14th 2009 by lisaniska
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Saw John Hegley last week, at a folk club.
Ok, he's really a performance poet, but he DOES like performing in folk clubs, plays the mandolin and the ukulele, etc.
Anyway he had this story of working in a tv studio in Carlisle, or some other northern town, and afterwards he and the crew went to the local pub, where there seemed to be a small session going on in one corner. Seeing the opportunity to impress his colleagues, he said, "I know what to do here", walked over to the session and, at the next lull, stepped in the middle and began "Tom Pearce, Tom Pearce, lend me your grey mare...." and there was a micro-second of shock and delay before the session all chimed in "All along, down along.....etc".
Ok, some people couldn't have got away with it.
# Posted on April 14th 2009 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
out there, there are those natural perfomers who ' . . . have got it . . ' which i put down to a certain 6th sense (a hard one to completely nail) and a bucket full of confidence _ they know exactly what they're doing and pull it off accordingly (even professionally)
always impressive, witness and be inspired, these are the real 'magicians' amongst us
# Posted on April 14th 2009 by lisaniska
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
I had to look up Hegley, pretty funny, thanks Pete.
This same poster had lots of funny stuff:
http://www.qmcorp.net/scripta/irtrad2/irtrad_index.html
# Posted on April 14th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
That was great!
(our session always seems to get the bodhran class...)
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by Greg the Piano Tuner
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
So, ahem, why is the florist's name Al? You tryin' to pick a fight there, Nancy boy? Huh?
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by AlBrown
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
And I thought all sessions were pretty much like that although the "sliding mike" is usually an air mike sorta thingy
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by mcknowall
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
LOL! Seriously Al! He could have picked a more effeminate name, eh? Al is pretty robust, speaks of butchers and truck drivers, not florists.
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
I was in a session at the Fleadh in Tullamore last year, when a family sat at the piano next to us, and the girls (about 10 and 12) began to practice their competition pieces - over and over again, while Dad nodded along.
Luckily, it was the Bridge House, so there were plenty of alternatives, so we upped and moved to the back, but what a fec king pain in the ar$e!
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by RockyRoader
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Everyone must have that story.... I was at a session in London at the Camden festival, playing away with a bunch of the London regulars. Then a very well-known flute player who was in town for the festival joined us and we all thought that was pretty cool. A few tunes later, these five kids and their father joined the session, the kids all with susato whistles. They played one tune and everyone was like, Well that was very sweet... give the kids the opportunity to play a tune with a session like that. Then dad encouraged them to play another, and another, and another. It was clear this was going to drag on for a while so most of us in that session bailed. We were very grumpy about it at the time but in retrospect it's quite funny.
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by TheSilverSpear
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
A session I attended recently got swamped by waltzes --- going
from Trad to Aussie bush band session in moments. Actually
I've been to more than one like that; sorry I just can't get into them.
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by Hup
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
funny!
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by zippydw
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Who is John McCormack? And where can I meet an angry feminist sisterhood ?
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by kuec
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
John McCormack: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McCormack
Angry feminist sisterhood: The 'Women's Studies' department at your local college. [ducks, runs for cover]
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Hahaha you crack me up SWFL.
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by Tasia
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
ok here's the reply of the angry feminist irish trad fiddler group:
If at a session any of the following happens...:
- you're the only woman in the group of 15 musicians
- everybody makes rude jokes about the good/not-so-good-lookin waitress or aforementioned transvestite pipe-fitter
- nobody makes rude jokes about females at all, no, they're all even extremly nice and encouraging towards you because you're the only woman in the group of 15 musicians
- someone keeps asking female session members if they woulnd't want to join the competition for Rose of Tralee
- you say to your neighbour "this guy plays really well" and get as an answer "oh, you should hear his wife" - only the wife never showed up to any session, somebody has to look after the kids at home after all
- aforementioned fuzzy-cheeked youth confesses to you in a quiet moment that he believes himself to be a direct descendant of the ancient celts and really admires the way their society worked with the men being fierce warriors and the women the keepers of the hearth in total union with mother earth
- aforementioned fuzzy-cheeked youth and/or seasoned, bearded 15 male session members just completely ignore you (still, even the fifth time you show up there)
- you're the only woman in there except for aforementioned Celtic Dance Group consisting entirely of women 10 years younger than you, all blondes in extremely short skirts
... if any of this should happen, run, duck for cover and find your quickest way to the Women's Studies department at your local college where someone finally will write that thesis about the gender issue in irish trad sessions....!
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by Mina the Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
That reminds me of another one of Zouk's amusing posts from his archive, check this sad story out:
Dear Zouki:
I'm a male carnivorous bodhrán player who loves watching wrestling, drooling over "Playboy", and who believes sincerely that a Bacon Double-Cheeseburger may be Nature's Perfect Food (Biggie Fries included). I also own bowling shoes and am not ashamed of having two or three six-packs in my refrigerator at any given time.
For me a perfect session consist of nothing but reels, the faster the better. My session buddies are Louie, Kinch the Unclean, Spike, Mick, and Foosh. I am convinced that the invention of the piano accordion is proof of divine inter-vention in human affairs. Passing gas at our session table is not en-couraged, but will under normal circumstances not result in anything more than tasteless banter of less than a minute's duration.
My girl friend is a vegetarian whistle/dulcimer player who normally wears long non-wool dresses of no particular color and birkenstocks, and who spends inordinate amounts of time in the nearby woods playing tunes for the skunks, squirrels, and other critters. Once while playing "The Butterfly" (one of her favorites), she was severely bitten by a demented chipmunk and had to get rabies shots (after being heavily sedated to put an end to her protests about "animalism", whatever the hell that means).
Her idea of a session is to gather in some poor innocent oak grove with the other Artichoke Lovers, tootle or strum away on a couple of slip jigs, jump into the O'Carolan repertoire for an hour or two, and top the whole confection off with a blaze of strathspeys. If I dare to say anything about this, she stares at my bodhrán, hums "The Kid on the Mountain" while choking back sobs, and eventually allows tears to come into her eyes. (I think the skin on my bodhrán is actually plastic, but that's a whole other story.) Her session soulmates are Fawn, Laughing Water, StarPriestess, Ariel, and Lilith (who I think is actually a guy but I can't prove it).
Their session table - at the Sentient Being Coffeehouse - always has a vague aroma of incense and/or vanilla candles. Their standard session snack is a plate of green things grown on a farm that promotes Vegetable Euthanasia.
In my heart of hearts I think she's a little wacky, but I love her anyway, even if she does pray to her salad occasionally (for "forgiveness", she says). I’m convinced that with a certain amount of guidance and luck, she’d make a great wife and mother.
Is there any hope for this relationship?
- Confused in Grand Rapids
http://www.qmcorp.net/scripta/irtrad2/advice_question.pdf
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Well done, Mina!
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by kuec
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
My apologies to any green thing-eating folks playing Carolans in forest groves or at coffee houses. I didn't write the thing, don't shoot the messenger.
Now can you please put out the incense and vanilla candles? I'm about to fire up a set of reels here.
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
see, SWFL Fiddler?
Thanks kuec 
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by Mina the Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Oh no, they're here! Run for it! Everyone for themselves! Look out for vanilla candles!
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by SWFL Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
@kuec:
The angry feminist sisterhood (aka "wimmin"...) were an appalling phenomenon of the lower circles of UK cultural life in the Seventies especially. Their thuggish clumsy squawkings and oppression fantasies were not to be borne.
They are now running the country.
Their uniform tended to be a Morris Traveller van with fungus growing in the windows, and "ATOMCRAFT - NEIN DANKE!" badges and stickers all over the place.
They must have existed in Germany, but I assume their cars were better even if their poetry wasn't.
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
( "ATOMKRAFT "...)
# Posted on April 15th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Morris Travellers having mainly succumbed to various forms of wood decay, I have an elderly Volvo estate with moss growing along the window-seals. Nothing wrong with that.
The vehicle is definitely organic. Should it really have a woman owner, though ? I cherish it as a phallic symbol, ( despite no-one else agreeing with me ) as it's long, thick, heavy, and goes on almost indefinitely ( 184.000 miles on the clock so far. )
# Posted on April 16th 2009 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
PS; John McCormack;
as Spike Milligan said,
"That fine Irish tenor, known and hated the world over.....".
# Posted on April 16th 2009 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
well, angry wimmin sisterhoods, "Kampflesben" etc. still exist and I don't like them much. I also don't like to be called one. And i don't like nuclear power. I do like Xena, the warrior princess, though
.
The point is: as you may have noticed from my earlier post, the thuggish clumsy squawkings and oppression fantasies have shifted position and are today the domain of aforementioned fuzzy-cheeked-would-be-celtic/viking-warrior-youths and seasoned session goers growing fungus in their beards....or something...
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by Mina the Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Mina - I didn't mean you! (I hope...)
And you have powers of expression that some of the sisterhood - some of the markedly vocal ones, I mean - have tended to lack. I recognise the vignettes you draw, and they are acute enough to provoke a wince! Certainly the fuzzy-cheeked wannabe Celtic warrior youths.
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
No i didn't feel that you meant me, Nicolas. Seems a shame that i missed those angry wimmin sisterhood times if just for the amusement
, but i can well imagine what's meant here 
. Wannabe celtic warriors certainly are bad, the invitation to run for Rose of Tralee is something that actually happened in the virtual conversation on the germanspeaking fiddle forum (seemingly through SWFL's alter ego 
). Just to make this clear i did enjoy both posts very much, the first here and the one about the vegetarian-tinwhistler-herbal-tea-hippie girlfriend. Some vignettes there very nicely drawn as well and oops, reminding me of myself in some aspects. Well i don't play to the squirrels but i'm certainly quite happy playing the Butterfly in a nice wood 
!
and i wouldn't know so much about fuzzy-cheeked-wannabe-celtic-warrior-youths if i didn't sometimes frequent places where you can meet them. Only i think it's their girlfriends, not mine, who are called StarPriestess and Lilith
# Posted on April 21st 2009 by Mina the Fiddler
Re: Warning: problem session in progress!
Ive just googled transvestite - you bastard SWFL! i've been shanked.
# Posted on April 24th 2009 by gedpipes