Someone needs to compose a tune called "The Irish Wrist Watch" just for the pleasure of hearing some poor flute-player try to call out the tune in between gulps of breath at a session.
Try singing this one in polite company if you had a skinful of Guinness. Problem is, I can't remember how the tune goes ...
Anyone got the abc?
The Pheasant Plucking Song
-----------------------------------------
Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man,
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Cos the pheasant plucker's late.
I'm not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven't any grease.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with piles.
You have to pluck them fresh, if they're fresh it's not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday 'twixt the first and second lessons.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker's come.
My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.
Me husband's in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me crannies and there's feathers up me nose,
And I'm itchin' in the kitchin' from me head down to me toes.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck together
It's a pheasant plucking life!
Esau Wood sawed wood.
Esau Wood would saw wood with a wood saw.
Esau's wood saw would saw wood
One day, Wood's wood saw would saw no wood,
so Wood sought a wood saw that would.
Then, Wood saw a wood saw saw wood as no
wood saw Wood ever saw wood sawed wood.
So Wood sought the wood saw that sawed wood
as no wood saw Wood ever saw ever sawed.
Now Wood saws wood with the wood saw Wood
saw saw wood as no wood saw
Wood ever saw would wood saw wood.
A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
just stealing your material Pete & giving it a spin;
When I was in Arkansas,
I saw an old sod & he would saw,
and the old saw could out-saw any old sod
you ever saw saw.
Out of all the sods I ever saw saw,
I never saw a sod saw
that sawed like the saw
I saw in Arkansas sawed...
"When the tweedle beetles battle with their paddles in a bottle full of water on a noodle-eating poodle, it's a tweedle beetle noodle poodle water bottle paddle battle." Dr.Seuss
Here´s another test for Mr Ross:
One sock cutter, he cuts socks
Two sock cutters, they both cut socks
Three sock cutters, they all cut socks
With practice, it can be said at speed without mistakes. A bit like playing music, really.
Lurcherjohn - You could use that one to wreak revenge on those Leith police when they stop you for drink driving !
I digress, but llig's post has somehow recalled to my mind of a story about an American cruiser that ran aground in the Firth of Forth during World War II.
Aparently, instructions were received from the British Admiralty (via radio) to "... sail up the estuary and drop anchor just after "The Forth Bridge".
I can visualise the American captain saying: "Ah, here's the first one - three more to go yet" ....
I was in Leith police station not so long ago reporting my bike being stolen. Unfortunatly, they accepted my case. I was really wanting them to dismiss it.
And there's that funnny one of having to change the name of that really good Alan Bennett penned film "George IV", because the yanks wouldn't go and see it, if they hadn't seen the previous three.
Silver Spear-
i happen to know for a fact that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. The real question is, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
When I play bass, I am a plucker instead of picker.
I have more control over the tone, timbre, and pitch of the notes if I use my fingers instead of a pick.
Betty Botter bought some butter,
"But", she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
It would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter,
Would make my bitter batter better."
So Betty Botter bought a bit of butter,
Better than her bitter butter,
Baked it in her bitter batter,
And made Betty Botter's bitter batter better.
best tongue-twister ever
best tongue-twister ever
Someone needs to compose a tune called "The Irish Wrist Watch" just for the pleasure of hearing some poor flute-player try to call out the tune in between gulps of breath at a session.
# Posted on December 11th 2008 by cuchulain54
Re: best tongue-twister ever
What about an eqivalent new composition for our Caledonian comrades?
Maybe: "The Leith Police Dismisseth Us"
# Posted on December 11th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Ouch, I bit my tongue.
# Posted on December 11th 2008 by cuchulain54
Re: best tongue-twister ever
... and of course, there's always the song - the chorus of which goes:
I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's mate;
I'm always pluckling pheasants,
'Cos the pheasant plucker's late!
Anyone know it? I haven't heard it for years.
# Posted on December 11th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Ha.! Just found the lyrics (see below).
Try singing this one in polite company if you had a skinful of Guinness. Problem is, I can't remember how the tune goes ...
Anyone got the abc?
The Pheasant Plucking Song
-----------------------------------------
Me husband is a keeper, he's a very busy man,
I try to understand him and I help him all I can,
But sometimes of an evening I feel a trifle dim,
All alone and plucking pheasants when I'd rather pluck with him.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Cos the pheasant plucker's late.
I'm not good at plucking pheasants, pheasant plucking I get stuck,
Though some peasants find it pleasant I'd much rather pluck a duck,
Oh, but plucking geese is gorgeous, I can pluck a goose with ease
But plucking pheasants is sheer torture, for they haven't any grease.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
He has gone out on the tiles,
He only plucked one pheasant
And I'm sitting here with piles.
You have to pluck them fresh, if they're fresh it's not unpleasant,
I knew a man in Dunstable, could pluck a frozen pheasant.
They say the village constable has pheasant plucking sessions
With the vicar of a Sunday 'twixt the first and second lessons.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker's come.
My good friend Godfrey's most adept, he's really got the knack,
He likes to have a pheasant plucked before he hits the sack.
I try and lend a helping hand, I gather up the feathers,
It's really all this pheasant plucking keeps us here together.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's friend,
And I'm only plucking pheasants
As a means unto an end.
Me husband's in the woods all day, a-banging with his gun,
If he could hear me heartfelt cries, then surely he would run,
For I've fluff in all me crannies and there's feathers up me nose,
And I'm itchin' in the kitchin' from me head down to me toes.
I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's wife,
And when we pluck together
It's a pheasant plucking life!
# Posted on December 11th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Here's a video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLqZZ1Hd-_Y
# Posted on December 11th 2008 by CleverName
Re: best tongue-twister ever
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick
Esau Wood sawed wood.
Esau Wood would saw wood with a wood saw.
Esau's wood saw would saw wood
One day, Wood's wood saw would saw no wood,
so Wood sought a wood saw that would.
Then, Wood saw a wood saw saw wood as no
wood saw Wood ever saw wood sawed wood.
So Wood sought the wood saw that sawed wood
as no wood saw Wood ever saw ever sawed.
Now Wood saws wood with the wood saw Wood
saw saw wood as no wood saw
Wood ever saw would wood saw wood.
A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
Pope Sixtus VI's six texts
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by dafydd
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Excellent!! I must memorize the "menagerie" twister.
Might I add:
Unique New York.
Lemon Liniment.
Rubber Baby-Buggy Bumpers.
SInful Caesar Sipped His Snifter, Seized His Knees And Sneezed.
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Piece
Re: best tongue-twister ever
heh, dafydd, your wood one reminds me of one I learned as a child:
When I was in Arkansas,
I saw a saw saw,
and it could out-saw any saw
you ever saw saw.
Out of all the saws I ever saw saw,
I never saw a saw saw
that sawed like the saw
I saw in Arkansas sawed...
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Reverend
Re: best tongue-twister ever
hoopteedoodle oo de
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RFW-_QEHTws
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by ...
2nd best tongue-twister ever
just stealing your material Pete & giving it a spin;
When I was in Arkansas,
I saw an old sod & he would saw,
and the old saw could out-saw any old sod
you ever saw saw.
Out of all the sods I ever saw saw,
I never saw a sod saw
that sawed like the saw
I saw in Arkansas sawed...
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Ben Steen
* *
twisted ~ "old saw" = tongue tied!
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Ben Steen
Re: best tongue-twister ever
The skunk sat on the stump
The stump thought the skunk stunk and
The skunk thought the stump stunk
Mary
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Antikhntr
Most tongue tied
looks like I got alot twisted.
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Ben Steen
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers
How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Re: best tongue-twister ever
There's a story (probably apocryphal) that the Pheasant Plucker chorus was used as a test for would-be BBC radio announcers back in the old days.
The version I'm told that was used for the test was slightly different:
I'm a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son;
I like plucking pheasants,
'Cos plucking pheasant's fun!
And be very grateful for spell checkers
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Trevor Jennings
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Reckon that Jonathan Ross must have missed out on that test, lazy!
... and my spell checker doesn't recognise "plucker" as being a valid word!
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Try saying this:
She is a thistle sifter.
She has one sieve of sifted thistles and one sieve of unsifted thistles.
That's why she is a thistle sifter.
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Lurcherjohn
Re: best tongue-twister ever
"When the tweedle beetles battle with their paddles in a bottle full of water on a noodle-eating poodle, it's a tweedle beetle noodle poodle water bottle paddle battle." Dr.Seuss
Next?
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Piece
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Here´s another test for Mr Ross:
One sock cutter, he cuts socks
Two sock cutters, they both cut socks
Three sock cutters, they all cut socks
With practice, it can be said at speed without mistakes. A bit like playing music, really.
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by murfbox
Re: best tongue-twister ever
From where I live, you can travel forth north accross the Firth of Forth to Fife and Perth.
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by ...
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Lurcherjohn - You could use that one to wreak revenge on those Leith police when they stop you for drink driving !
I digress, but llig's post has somehow recalled to my mind of a story about an American cruiser that ran aground in the Firth of Forth during World War II.
Aparently, instructions were received from the British Admiralty (via radio) to "... sail up the estuary and drop anchor just after "The Forth Bridge".
I can visualise the American captain saying: "Ah, here's the first one - three more to go yet" ....
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
I was in Leith police station not so long ago reporting my bike being stolen. Unfortunatly, they accepted my case. I was really wanting them to dismiss it.
And there's that funnny one of having to change the name of that really good Alan Bennett penned film "George IV", because the yanks wouldn't go and see it, if they hadn't seen the previous three.
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by ...
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Betty bought a bit of butter,
but she found the bit of butter bitter,
so she bought a better bit of butter,
to make the bit of bitter butter better.
or maybe,
A blokes back brake block broke.......
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by banjoburger
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Silver Spear-
i happen to know for a fact that Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. The real question is, if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Try saying this one:
The sixth sick Sheik's sixth sheep's sick
super tricky
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Brown Creeper
Re: best tongue-twister ever
How about some of the screen names here, particularly the ones that would puzzle those readers who don't known how to pronounce Irish
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Trevor Jennings
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Mix, the Pheasant Plucking Song would go quite well to the tune of My Old Man's A Dustman, wouldn't it? - and everyone knows that!
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Trevor Jennings
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Everyone over the age of 100, lazyhound.
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by oldstrings
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Lazy - knowing as I do of your impeccable musical judgement, I'm sure that you are correct. But alas, that particular song was before my time ....
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Thanks for the link, Clevername.
For some reason, I've only just spotted your post. Not the tune that I remember, but nonetheless this particular rendering of the song is hilarious!
And to underline my comment, here is the link again ...
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HLqZZ1Hd-_Y
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: best tongue-twister ever
When I play bass, I am a plucker instead of picker.
I have more control over the tone, timbre, and pitch of the notes if I use my fingers instead of a pick.
# Posted on December 14th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Betty Botter bought some butter,
"But", she said, "this butter's bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
It would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter,
Would make my bitter batter better."
So Betty Botter bought a bit of butter,
Better than her bitter butter,
Baked it in her bitter batter,
And made Betty Botter's bitter batter better.
# Posted on December 15th 2008 by dafydd
Re: best tongue-twister ever
I just remembered one from my schooldays.
Are you aluminiuming them my man? No,I'm copper bottoming them M'am
# Posted on December 15th 2008 by dafydd
Re: best tongue-twister ever
Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock
# Posted on December 16th 2008 by FiddleFi
Re: best tongue-twister ever
How about:-
"Ken Dodds dads dogs dead"
# Posted on June 17th 2009 by ragboggle