I went to my local just in time for last orders, bought a pint and joined the lads at a crowded table. There was barely enough room on the brimming table for my pint, but as I put it down and gave a little push, the bloke's pint diametrically opposite fell off into his lap. So I resorted to :-
(d) Say nothing and hope he wouldn't know it was you.
Q. If you go into a pub and find there is Irish Music being played. Should you:
a) Talk loudly at the bar and ask for the football to be put on the tv?
b) Request "The Irish Rover"?
c) Ask for a go on someones instrument?
d) Join the "magic circle" and start to play a digeridoo?
e) Attempt all of the above?
Double marks will be awarded to anyone who puts option e).
One gets the impression sometimes that those who draw up these documents started their careers compiling student rag mags.
If I didn't actually happen to be British, I'd never qualify for permission to live here. I am too defective in too many capacities.
But I'd know better than to go up to whatever owner of a pint I'd spilt and offer to buy him another one, *straight* afterwards. I'd step back, with half my mind very rapidly sussing the type and likely temperament of the guy, and with the other trying to locate myself in some haven of the imagination very far removed from the scene. This would be to kid myself that the chap couldn't see me; a childish reaction, perhaps, but it does serve to lesson the impression he might get that I was looking at *him*, which is how fireworks might really start.
While he was effing and blinding and twitching angrily - which who doesn't, when his pint is spilt, especially over him? - I would summon up the barmaid with an imploring look, and point out the puddle and broken glass (if any). Thus, I would have a witness to any subsequent violence, moreover one protected by the barrier of the bar and also able to reach for alarms etc. and, above all, scream. This would be a tactical advantage to my account.
As the other guy sees this, and starts to simmer down, the subject of recompense to him might be safely broached, with Ers and Ums and downbeat apologetic noises and - above all - not a hint of a smile. A spilt pint's too serious a matter, which is not necessarily the same as being an important one.
I only hope over-zealous new citizens of Britain don't set out to knock people's pints over deliberately, in a misguided bid to practise and improve their social skills.
f) Immediately go over and announce to the group that you COULD have learned to play this stuff, but you got sidetracked with a huge promotion to a VERY important position in your company, and couldn't find the time.
(Then you ask for them to play "that Fields of Athenry folksong," because it reminds you of the trip you took to Boston one time and you were in the Irish bar and everyone was drunk and...)
The local version of Cregeen's doesn't have an official "car-park" nearby but the bank one block away from Cregeen's doesn't object to people using their parking lot in the evenings after the bank has closed for the day. The parking lot is right across the street from Cregeen's.
The other two session pubs which we go to have both on-street parking and small parking lots next to them.
If my reply isn't ironic enough, Mix O'Lydian, shall I get out the irony board and the iron? What setting should I put the iron on? One of the steam settings such as linen, cotton, wool, or polyester? Or maybe one of the dry settings such as acrylic/silk or acetate/nylon?
On the other hand, though, the "steam" settings probably wouldn't hold water any more than any reply I could post to this discussion.
Considering how many years I have been playing at various jam sessions, I have been both careful and lucky because the one and only time I have spilled someone else's drink, it was Coca-cola in a glass (yes, someone was actually drinking Coca-cola at a session). The glass broke and the Coca-cola splattered on the floor and only on the floor. The waitress wasn't happy about cleaning up the mess. When I offered to buy this person another glass of Coca-cola, they gladly took me up on the offer.
Yes, I do understand that "car-park" and "parking lot" are supposed to be one and the same thing.
My earlier message was typed during while I was at work and couldn't give my full attention to what I was typing because I was supposed to be working instead of posting comments to some web site on the Internet.
As you now correctly say, faux, the dry steam irony settings were the ones needed in this case ...
... Cocoa-Cola? Well, the rest of us have only knocked over pints, but it seems that you actually knocked over the real thing ....
... and I'm glad to hear that you didn't elect for option (c). Cocoa Cola just isn't worth fighting for...
Parking lots / car parks? Perhaps your "parking lots" phrase is preferable - "They paved paradise, and put up up a car-park" just wouldn't sound right.
I'll forgive you for your faux pas (oops, sorry! Freudian slip!) and I'll promise not to tell your employer that you weren't giving your duties your full attention...
Yes, Mix O'Lydian, while they are under the influence of various strange and unusual genres of folk music, people will do weird and peculiar things--such as drinking Coca-cola at a jam session.
Some musicians are so depraved that they try to "keep it real" by drinking the "real thing" while they are at a jam session.
My hands aren't "faux paws"--they are the "real thing".
You are pardoned for your "Freudian slip" (did you borrow it from Frau Freud?).
My employer (a large hospital) doesn't seem to care whether or not I am visiting this particular web site. There is a"filter" on the main computer which blocks hospital employees from going to certain web sites (such as pornography, gambling, YouTube, etc.). Otherwise, I can surf the Internet while I am at work just so long as it doesn't interfere with my official duties.
Is that four fishy fatuous fatalistic philosophical far-fetched faux pas?
Are they similar to the carp in the ark?
We do have some carp in the Ark(ansas) here.
At jam (or jelly or preserves) sessions of any type (Irish or otherwise), I usually drink water or beer while I am at the session. What I drink depends on whether or not they have a brand of beer which I like. I eat before I go to the session but I have seen other musicians take a break to eat if the session is in a restaurant.
In Arkansas, we prefer farkleberry jam.
Chocolate Coke sounds good to this chocoholic.
"Never mix my Lydians"? What about my sister whose name is Lydia?
As for my job, I am the medical clerk in one of the intensive care units at this hospital. I have been working here for three years. Since the nurses are the people who are actually getting their hands dirty taking care of the patients, if the nurses didn't like the way I do this job, I would have been transferred out of here a long time ago.
Some days here in this ICU are quiet and we don't have much to do while other days can be and are quite busy. It depends on what type of patients and how many patients are here in this ICU.
When I arrive at work, I am never quite sure what type of day to expect. These patients can surprise you unexpectedly in pleasant and unpleasant ways.
Ah yes, of course - I forgot that you Americans haven't yet mastered the English language. Is that why you refer to "jam" as "jello"? Does that mean that you also have jello sessions?
Sessions in resturants? The mind boggles! All ours are in pubs. The only proper place for a session.
I also like the idea of "chocolate coke" though - maybe we do have some things in common, after all..
Farkleberry=Sparkleberry=Huckleberry, does it not? Still I suppose if Hanna-Barbara had created a dog called "Farkleberry Hound", it wouldn't have sounded quite so cool. Barkleberry Hound might have been good, though ..
And you don't have any proper beer, either. You'll need to come to England if you want to try that. Maybe that's why you folks drink so much Cocoa (sorry, Coca) Cola) - it couldn't be any worse than American beer. If and when you make the trip, and get to an English pub, be sure to ask for real ale. Better still, make sure that the pub is CAMRA recommended (CAMRA =
Campaign for Real Ale).
If I had a sister called Lydia I wouldn't want her to be mixed ...
And I still think that you should give that medical clerking a little more intensive care ...
And finally (well, maybe not finally) a couple of questions for you:
1) Do you know the tune: "Arkansas Traveler"?
2) Can you play it? Without skipping over any of the notes?
3) Why is "Arkansas" pronounced "Arkansaw" (something I've always wanted to know!)
It seems that what you accurately know about American English usage, Mix, would fit in a thimble and leave room for your knowledge of American microbreweries.
As for the farkleberry comment......many years ago, when Orval Faubus was governor of Arkansas, he stated that he had helped a state highway maintenance crew clear underbrush away from a road without damaging the farkleberry bush on the side of the road. A local political cartoonist named George Fisher linked Faubus permanently with that poor, unoffending little farkleberry bush for the rest of his life. Fisher never would allow Faubus to forget his comment about the farkleberry bush.
Both Faubus and Fisher are dead and gone now but the farkleberry bush lives on.
I never met Orval Faubus but I did get to meet Fisher and play music with him several years ago at the monthly meetings of a local old-time music society (I was playing bass with this group of mixed nuts). As well as playing guitar and singing, Fisher was one of the founding members of this group of mixed nuts.
Because Fisher lived here in Arkansas, he never lacked for material for his political cartoons and he always got more inspiration than he needed from the politicians here.
Since the local laws concerning the sale of alcoholic beverages are so strict and restrictive here in Arkansas, we have to hold our sessions wherever we can--including restaurants.
Until a few years ago, restaurants here weren't allowed to serve any alcoholic beverages at all on Sunday--unless the restaurant had paid the extra fees to be registered as a "private" club.
Thank you for the recommendations about beer in England. If we ever have the opportunity to travel to England, we will keep your recommendations in mind.
Yes, I do know the tune called the "Arkansas Traveler" and yes I can play it on the piano but I don't play it in public at sessions because there always seems to be a fiddle player present who can play it much better than I can. I just accompany the fiddler.
Arkansas isn't pronounced as it is spelled because some of the first Europeans to come here were from France and the French can't seem to spell or pronounce anything correctly. However, it is equally possible that the first Europeans here might have misunderstood some of the native American Indian words which they heard.
In other states such as Kansas, the name of a certain river is pronounced "Ar-Kan-Sass" instead of Ar-Kan-Saw".
Speaking of cartoons such as Huckleberry Hound......I remember watching this and other cartoons by Hanna-Barbera when I was a child. Unlike many other children, though, I would read the credits at the end of the cartoon and wonder who was this woman named Hanna Barbera or Barbera Hanna who seemed to be the producer of a lot of the cartoons I was watching.
Now that I am adult (chronologically), I know who William Hanna and Joseph Barbera were.
Joesmith - OK good buddy wiser - maybe it was wrong of me to make disparaging remarks about your beer. But what percentage of beer sold in the US actually comes from microbreweries?
Thimbles are handy for sewing and for playing washboards, but not much use for storing American English dictionaries. Not in England, anyway.
I would agree that "American Engish" is as good as "English English". As long as you call it American English, and not "International English", like the folks in Microsoft do!
fauxcelt - over here we have the bilberry, which also has a lot of alternative names, e.g. blaeberry, whortleberry, whinberry, myrtle blueberry etc. It's found on moors, so protecting it from roadside clearance wouldn't apply.
If only we had a Hanna-Barbera team over here, we could have had a "Bilberry Bulldog", maybe.
Over here, pianos at sessions would be just about as alien as sessions in resturants. I reckon that you really should try to make that trip to England. Or to Ireland or Scotland, for that matter. Get to find out what a real pub session is like! Get to taste our real ale as well. Or the real Guinness, if its Ireland that you get to. Or the real single malts, if Scotland.
At our sessions, we have a system of fines in force:
1) Singing "the Irish Rover" - buy one round of drinks.
2) Drinking Coca-Cola - buy two rounds of drinks.
3) Playing piano/keyboard/bongo-drums/shakey eggs - buy three rounds of drinks.
I'm still somewhat puzzled about the pronunciation of "Arkansas". Why isn't "Kansas" pronounced "Kansaw", then?
'Real ale' in Britain can be really, really good - but this depends on variables. Go into a pub that sells real ale - happily, most of them I think these days - and you will see a few handpumps for one or another beer out of the great number currently on sale. They vary enormously, from heavy sweet ones to light, very bitter ones. To get one you like, ask the barman about what he's got and ask for a taste of one or more of them. This should be provided, in a small glass. How many you get through before buying a drink, or instead of buying a drink, is really up to you! - but with any luck, you soon happen on something drinkable.
Real ale, being "live" and unpasteurised, can go off. If you get a duff pint - flat, sour - you should be able to get it changed free for another at the bar - though it'll probably be for a different kind of beer. Mishandling and thunderstorms are two common causes of beer going off.
The British bilberry is a smaller relative of the American blueberry (which has been lately marketed as a wonderfood that can cure everything, make you live for ever and all the rest of it, like ginseng and all the other stuff. Very nice, for all that.) Bilberries grow on moors, but they are usually cropped close by sheep there. To find berries, one usually has to find them in some upland nook where the sheep can't get them and they grow to two feet or so. The best I know grow on some country lane-sides.
Hey nicholas - my plan was to lure fauxcelt away from all those pianos and resturants first. (I would have explained all those little foibles and niceties concerning the real ale later on - you can be sure of that!)
Still, you did save me the trouble.
Didn't know about the thunderstorm thing though. I'll now be sure check the barometer before heading off to a session..
But how long is it since you last went walking on an upland moor or mountain in the UK? You'd be hard pushed to find a sheep in many such places these days. The low price paid for wool and lamb has pretty much wiped out hill farming. And when you do find a hill flock, it usually turns out to have been subsidised by the National Trust (e.g. in the English Lake District).
I suspect the reason or reasons behind the pronounciation and the name of the state of Kansas may be similar to the reason why Arkansas is pronounced "Ar-Kan-Saw".
Thank you for the advice on alcoholic beverages. I will try to keep it in mind if we are ever able to visit the United Kingdom or the Irish Republic. But any such trips will have to wait until my wife finishes school and can get a real job.
And no we won't be bringing any musical instruments with us because I refuse to trust any of my instruments to the none-too-tender mercies of airline baggage (mis)handlers. Nor do I like traveling by airplane. The seats are too close together and the pressurized air in the cabin hurts my ears.
Since I don't sing or drink Coca-cola at sessions and I won't have my instruments with me, we will probably just sit there quietly and listen.
As for luring me away from the piano, that is impossible because I have been playing this instrument much too long and am addicted to it.
I play piano at the local sessions because that was the instrument which they asked me to bring when I told them which instruments I played.
One of the nurses whom I work with is originally from Scotland. She advised me to visit Scotland in July or August because the weather is better in those two months.
As a piper i guess my pick is the cran-berry, heh. Southern Mass. is literally awash in the things this time of year. Mix O'Lydian, this is where the Bostonians live- not the Bostonites. Also, the pronunciation of Arkansas is definitely French in origin, just like Des Moines(read:The Moyne), and Des Plaines (pronounced "dess planes") Funny
cheers, pipewatcher
Merci Beaucoup pour la lecon, Monsieur le pipesurveiller.
The name "Ozarks" supposedly came from the French words "Aux Arc".
Also, the place name "Low Freight" may have come from the French words for fresh water--"l'eau frais".
Hi Pipes - I must confess, I did know that it was "Bostonians". Twas just part of my wind-up - but no-one took the bait - apart from you it seems ... ... And you're not even from Boston - at least, I presume that you're not.
Most remiss of me though to overlook "cranberry" as an alternative name for bilberry. Twas an insult to pipers - I trust that you will forgive me for that
faux - July/August might actually be a bad time to visit Scotland if you are an "outdoors" kind of a person. The reason being that this is right in the middle of the midge season. The midge is a biting insect that descends in swarms - especially on the scenic (west) side of Scotland, and especially near lochs and rivers. I'm surprised that your nurse friend didn't mention this. May or early June might be a better bet, before these wee beasties emerge.
... it might be quite cold in May though. Maybe even snow, as you go higher up. You might not be too keen on this if you are used to the climate in Arkansaw!
no trouble,Mix!The cranberry is in fact an alternative berry to the bilberry, compleatly different. cranberries are very popular here this time of year(especially today) i've spent some great times roaming the wilds of South Mass. (and South Boston) during cranberry season. now,with winter descending, my other favourite is my trusty Burberry! faux- i don't know how good your french is, but your typing of the word for "lesson" is lewd without the squiggly bit on the "c" heheh
Happy "T" Day, mes amis!
cheers, pipewatcher
Salue, pipes: oui - la sqigglything ( ç ) elle s'appelle: "la cedilla".
Cranberries - now I understand - a diiferent species, and much larger than bilberries ....
When those Bostonites (oops, sorry, Bostonians) strike it rich I don't expect that they will invite me to their tea-party on account of the fact that I made mock of their accent....
Thank you for the warning about the biting bugs called midges, Mix O'Lydian. I don't think it would be that much of a problem or an adjustment because we are used to being assaulted by mosquitoes here in Arkansas during the summer. This is especially true in the flatter, eastern part of Arkansas. We use bug spray to discourage the mosquitoes. Also, since July and August are the two hottest and most humid months here, that is when we like to travel to someplace cooler.
For example, my wife was born and raised in Wisconsin and still has family there. If we are going to visit her relatives, we go during the summer to get away from the heat and humidity here in Arkansas but we can't get away from the mosquitoes. They seem to be worse in Wisconsin than they are here.
All students at the college I attended were required to take a certain number of semesters of at least one foreign language and I picked French. The keyboard which came with my computer doesn't have the capability to add the accent mark which is supposed to go under the "c" in the French word for lesson. I think studying French helped improve my spelling, speaking, and writing of English. Based on my experience with trying to learn French, I think everybody should try to learn at least one language besides their native language.
There are wild cranberries in Britain (not to be confused with bilberries) but they are very small, rare and localised. The only wild berry here that is common overall and can be harvested in serious quantities is the blackberry (bramble). Rose-hips are also common - you can't eat them (enjoyably) straight, but they can be made into syrup high in Vitamin C. In the Sixties kids picked them for the companies for a bit of money. Now, of course, they don't bother.
I got the impression that May and September were the better (less rainy) months to visit Western Scotland and July and August the best for Eastern Scotland - but if I'm wrong, maybe a Scottish member will correct me. Seriously, fauxcelt, you don't want to end up among the Highland midges.
Nicholas, thank you for the warning about the midges but I must ask if you have ever been in Arkansas or Wisconsin during the summer at the height (or depth) of mosquito season? I was completely serious when I said "assaulted" by mosquitoes.
Besides, as I have already stated, we can't afford to travel that far away from Arkansas until after my wife has finished school and gotten her teaching degree.
I have never been to the US, so have not visited the idylls you mention. Do the locals develop immunity to the mosquitoes?
Midges are not mosquitoes - they're minute, 2 millimetres or under in length, but unbelievably numerous. Their blood-sucking bite irritates and causes painful swellings: one's enough, let alone hundreds or thousands.
Because of the election, there's been a whole lot of stuff on TV by Brit presenters travelling round the USA. It certainly was interesting - I've just forgotten (if I saw it) what they saw or showed us of Arkansas...
... a quick French lesson ... how to type a cedilla (ç ) on a US (or UK) keyboard:
1) Make sure that NumLock key is ON
2) Hold down the left Alt key, and keep it held down.
3) Keeping the left Alt key held down, type 135 on the numeric keypad.
4) Release the left Alt key
The cedila will appear on your screen .. as if by magic!
... like this ........ ç
Now, isn't it amazing what you can learn from reading the mustard board .... unlike most other boards, this one is the fount of all human knowledge ... no matter how obscure your question, some member or other will be able to supply the answer.
Nicholas wasn't joking about those Scottish midges, you know! Neither was I. Mosquitos are pussycats in comparison.
East coast Scotland might well be good in July or August, Nicholas. But not west coast in September. Still too many midges about!
Of all places in Scotland, the Isle of Skye is often said to have the most prolific and fiercest midges. And having camped at Glenbrittle (Skye) in August, I can vouch for that!
I camped on a still damp evening in the last week of September in 1988 in Glen Nevis, West Highlands, and had no midge trouble: they must have packed in for the year, as those conditions would be just to their liking in their season.
Now, in Shetland which I visited three years running in the 80s midges aren't much trouble. They're either on the ground or they're being blown away! - there's usually a stiff breeze blowing, at least. I should imagine the same applies to Orkney. Also, Shetland lacks bushes, long grass, bracken (I barely saw any) - the stuff they can shelter in elsewhere.
Fauxcelt, I've spent many summers camping and hiking in various places in the US but no mosquito attack ever compared to the onslaught of midges I experienced camping at Sligachan on Skye. The campground is just below the bar/hotel so the trick is to run like hell from your tent to the bar and then run like hell back to the tent at the end of the night. You find yourself obsessing and developing stringently enforced rules about entering and exiting the tent. Hundreds of the b*ggers took up residence between the fly and the tent and would assault you when you were in the tent's vestibule.
The midges also flew into the Land Rover as we were loading it up so we had to deal with all these midges swarming around inside the the car whilst driving around island and then back to Edinburgh. I think that was the trip the handle on the boot of the car rusted shut and I was dousing it with WD40. The handle never did come unstuck (we had to pull gear in and out through the passenger doors) but all these midges somehow ended up stuck in the WD40 and were pasted in this little midge graveyard on the back of the car. Good times.
The only place comparable, indeed worse, was Glen Etive in the West Highlands. I jumped out of the car to take some pictures of Loch Etive and hundreds of the things swarmed all over my hand while I was holding up the camera.
They sell midge nets at the Green Welly Stop for a reason.
September and October are better for midges, but no guarantees on the weather. Well, no guarantees on the weather in Scotland, ever, at any time of year. Last time I was on Skye we were getting blown away by 70mph gales. There were, however, no midges.
Midges don't seem to like personal spray-on insect repellent. (Spray it on yourself of course!)
Or you could try WD40!
I remember reading somewhere that historically during the English invasions of Ireland, the midges used to get inside the English armour in swarms - but not be able to get out again. How's that for an excruciating invasion!
Historically, the Scots used midges to defeat their enemies. This tactic was so successful, that they chose the midge as their national emblem.
However, after they had embroidered a giant midge on their banner, they found that it didn't look very attractive, and elected to have a thistle instead.
Of course, they then had to commission a legend writer to concoct the story about the thistle.
The midges, the midges, I’m no gonna kid yiz,
The midges is really the limit,
With teeth like piranhas they’ll drive you bananas,
If you let them get under your semmit.....
At least where I am you can do battle with beasties and have a fighting chance, not just end up running around like an eejit wavin' your arms crazy in the air and jumping up and down, like those feckin midge things. Jeez they were a b*std. Never forget 'em. How can you live in places with those feckers there!?
david_h - the midge forecasting levels are based on the assumption that you would have your trousers tucked into your socks and that you would be wearing a midge net!
Reading a book about upland ecology once, I came across the mind-boggling information that the total weight of invertebrate life in a given area of boggy peat moorland is considerably more - maybe a few times more, though I've forgotten - than that of any sheep or other animals that its surface can support.
But filtering them out would be a bit of a bugger.
That is why, when you kill lots of them, they keep coming...
Mind, I think that in terms of bulk quantity, most of these are various kinds of daddy-long-legs, larger than midges and not obnoxious.
I think the UK version of "daddy long-legs," the cranefly, are actually horrible, evil things out to get us, no matter how harmless we may be told they are. They are creepy things, flying around and looking sinister. Have you ever noticed their surprising ability to get into your flat? How the f*** do they get in?
Creepier of course are the American daddy long-legs, the spider-looking things which are actually not spiders as they only have six legs and one body segment. They have them in the UK as well but I don't know what they call them. The things feed on plant juices and while there is an urban myth classifying them as the most poisonous spider in the world, it is completely untrue. They are neither spiders nor poisonous, but they are creepy-looking.
Creepier are the house centipedes of New England. They are about two to three inches long with hundreds of longish legs and must be able to move at 30mph. Terrifying. When I lived in Massachusetts I'd deal with these critters by screeching and running in the opposite direction.
DD, don't they have vicious, man-eating flies in the Outback? At least they have man-eating crocodiles. Can't really beat that.
That is a brilliant euphemism. The highest midge-alert level is nuisance. David-h is right. Why is the running-and-screaming category not included?
The little round things with very long legs are called harvesters. They're quite harmless to humans - unless, I suppose, you ingest one or more, and have a choking fit...
I was told as a kid that centipedes (British ones) bit, stung and poisoned you all in one! Funny, I've never actually picked one up to put this to the test...I'm sure they do one little or no harm, but their appearance is quite off-putting.
Maybe the term "nuisance" as the highest midge-alert level is carefully pitched so as not to scare away tourists, but also to cover the backs of anyone who might stand to be sued on grounds of a ruined holiday.
Ingesting them.... eeek! I could face a deep fried grasshopper but never a daddy long-legs/harvester.
Nothing so disconcerting as facing down a giant one that has ensconced itself on your front door with its legs sprawled out. Who knew a harmless little invertebrate could keep you out of your house.
I doubt the Massachusetts centipedes are seriously poisonous, unless you eat a bunch of them. They don't need to be as their appearance alone will send you running for the hills. Well, me anyway. One of my fellow undergraduates was rather unfazed and I remember her smashing one into the wall of the uni computer lab with calculus textbook.
the old fiddlers here more often than not hung their fiddles on the wall when not in use. It was a common practise to put the rattle from a rattlesnake inside the fiddle to ward off spiders. a wise precaution, for here lives the dreaded Brown Recluse! A seriously dangerous little beast. look it up if you're interested-i'll spare the gorey details...
we have midges here too, known as biting black flies. if you dont believe me, go blueberry-picking in southern Maine sometime
down south is the worst creepie of all: the palmetto or water bug. a cockroach 2-3 inches long that flies at your head when irritated!
If I've understood you correctly - if you have a safety concern about a poisinous spider getting inside your fiddle, to deal with it you have to go off and capture a rattlesnake and remove its rattle without upsetting the snake too much!
Over here in England (NE), there is is a history of bands being called the something-or-other "rattlers" . Don't know the origin of this useage, but no doubt that nicholas will have a ready answer?
And then of course, in Ireland you have "the Rattling Bog"
... never really understood that useage either ...
nicholas - I reckon that your cynical explanation of the understated midge warnings is probably correct!
Or maybe the warning system was designed by someone who is also a rock-climber. Those folks are very fond of using massive understatement for affect. In a climbing guide book, a manoevre that normal people would consider to be death-defying is usually just described as being "delicate" or "slightly awkward"!
As for the crocs, again, you can see them (unless you go for a swim in their waterhole, which you should never do of course).
Poachers, I understand, resort to blowing up waterholes with gelignite or something, or shoot the crocs for skins (which is illegal now).
See, you can actually DO something about them - try those things with midges and you'd be locked up in short shrift and the key thrown away I'd say.
All you can do is stand there are lather youself in that sickening aerosol anti-insect spray. Mmm, aeroguard and a fine wine, wonderful combination - with the midges.
I stayed at a hostel next to Mt Errigal once, and literally everyone was holed up inside because of the damn midges.
No, nicholas, the locals haven't developed immunity to the mosquitoes. The mosquitoes seem to be most numerous in the eastern part of Arkansas where they drained the swamps in order to grow rice.
Mix O'Lydian, thank you for telling me how to type the cedilla although I will probably never need to type it again.
Siver spear, I am surprised that the midges didn't try to pick up the Land Rover with you still in and try to carry it away to some hiding place so they could eat you without any witnesses. I have heard jokes about mosquitoes carrying away cows and other animals to eat them in a secret hiding place.
Yes, we would like to visit but that will have to wait until my wife graduates from school with her teaching degree.
One warm day my wife and I were hiking in one of the National Forest areas here. Since there were mosquitoes trying to harass us, I got the can of insect repellent out of my back-pack and sprayed any mosquito who was stupid enough to come within range or eyesight. My wife made some sarcastic comment about men who just have to try to shoot at anything that moves.
yeah, a little whistling sound as the effers fry on hotplate - Whizzzz! Zeeee!
Why can't some smart scientist come up with a genetic modification to let loose, so these b*trds little pin heads fall off when they take off, or something.
My boyfriend was chasing midges down with a can of Raid while we were on Skye. I'm not convinced it made any difference in the midge population but it's pretty entertaining to watch them fall from the sky.
My spraying the mosquitoes didn't seem to discourage them or make any difference in the number of mosquitoes who were harassing us but fighting back against the mosquitoes and harassing them by spraying them was just too much fun for me.
Since I used up the whole can of insect repellent, I did have to buy some more after we got home.
Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
As we all know, it's not uncommon for the odd pint or two to get knocked over in the course of a crowded pub session.
So it's gratifying to know that UK government has recognised this aspect of life in Britain, and has a question about it its citizenship test:
Here's the question:
Q. What should you do if you spill someone's pint in the pub?
Should you:
(a) Offer to buy the person another pint?
(b) Dry their wet shirt with your own?
(c) Prepare for a fight in the car-park?
Unfortunately, the government hasn't appreciated that most sessions take place in city centre pubs that don't have car-parks ....
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Priceless.... But you cannot be serious.
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Dragut Reis
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
I went to my local just in time for last orders, bought a pint and joined the lads at a crowded table. There was barely enough room on the brimming table for my pint, but as I put it down and gave a little push, the bloke's pint diametrically opposite fell off into his lap. So I resorted to :-
(d) Say nothing and hope he wouldn't know it was you.
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by gam
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Wasn't (c) the right answer then, Robert Ryan? I thought that answer (c) was "right on the line".
You real name wouldn't be McEnroe, would it, by any chance?
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... and yes, I was serious - none of the session pubs in my home city has a car-park!
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Good answer, gam. Unfortunately these government questionnaires make no allowances for creative thinkers ...
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Chalk came up all over the place!
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Dragut Reis
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
McEnroe as a session musician? Doesn't bear thinking about.
He would always be getting into disputes about "Navvy on the Line" and "Lanigan's Ball" ...
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... not to mention 15-love is But a Lassie Yet...
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Q. If you go into a pub and find there is Irish Music being played. Should you:
a) Talk loudly at the bar and ask for the football to be put on the tv?
b) Request "The Irish Rover"?
c) Ask for a go on someones instrument?
d) Join the "magic circle" and start to play a digeridoo?
e) Attempt all of the above?
Double marks will be awarded to anyone who puts option e).
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by geoffwright
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... I'll claim the double marks ...
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
One gets the impression sometimes that those who draw up these documents started their careers compiling student rag mags.
If I didn't actually happen to be British, I'd never qualify for permission to live here. I am too defective in too many capacities.
But I'd know better than to go up to whatever owner of a pint I'd spilt and offer to buy him another one, *straight* afterwards. I'd step back, with half my mind very rapidly sussing the type and likely temperament of the guy, and with the other trying to locate myself in some haven of the imagination very far removed from the scene. This would be to kid myself that the chap couldn't see me; a childish reaction, perhaps, but it does serve to lesson the impression he might get that I was looking at *him*, which is how fireworks might really start.
While he was effing and blinding and twitching angrily - which who doesn't, when his pint is spilt, especially over him? - I would summon up the barmaid with an imploring look, and point out the puddle and broken glass (if any). Thus, I would have a witness to any subsequent violence, moreover one protected by the barrier of the bar and also able to reach for alarms etc. and, above all, scream. This would be a tactical advantage to my account.
As the other guy sees this, and starts to simmer down, the subject of recompense to him might be safely broached, with Ers and Ums and downbeat apologetic noises and - above all - not a hint of a smile. A spilt pint's too serious a matter, which is not necessarily the same as being an important one.
I only hope over-zealous new citizens of Britain don't set out to knock people's pints over deliberately, in a misguided bid to practise and improve their social skills.
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
f) Immediately go over and announce to the group that you COULD have learned to play this stuff, but you got sidetracked with a huge promotion to a VERY important position in your company, and couldn't find the time.
(Then you ask for them to play "that Fields of Athenry folksong," because it reminds you of the trip you took to Boston one time and you were in the Irish bar and everyone was drunk and...)
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by grego
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
The local version of Cregeen's doesn't have an official "car-park" nearby but the bank one block away from Cregeen's doesn't object to people using their parking lot in the evenings after the bank has closed for the day. The parking lot is right across the street from Cregeen's.
The other two session pubs which we go to have both on-street parking and small parking lots next to them.
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
You seemed to have somehow missed the irony of this discussion, fauxcelt!
... a witty response was called for in this case, rather than details of the car-parking facilities of your local session hangouts ....
Please have another try ...
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
g) Ask for Danny Boy to be played
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by snowyowl
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
h)ask the banjo player if you know duelling banjos?
i) can you do yhe riverdance thing
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by john knoss
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
'yhe' riverdance? sorry...
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by john knoss
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Snow Yowl....
The sound of huskies, or the "Yoik" of the Lapps, perhaps....
Couldn't resist it.
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
"The Corrs can play better than you lot. AND they're a damn sight better looking..."
# Posted on November 21st 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
j) "Can you play the 'Irish Jig' for us" (this actually happened, and the session to a man denied all knowledge of that tune).
# Posted on November 22nd 2008 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
I thought the preferred derogatory term was "the Irish *tune*"...
# Posted on November 22nd 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
we don't allow cars in our parks here.
# Posted on November 22nd 2008 by airport
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
You mean, the insurers won't cover them if they go there?
Things *must* be bad... ...?!...
# Posted on November 22nd 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Nice one, airport! Unlike fauxcelt, you seemed to have entered into the spirit of this discussion ...
... and for the benefit of anyone who didn't pick up on airport's joke:
UK English "Car Park"
US English " Parking Lot"
... ah yes - Britain and the USA - two nations separated by a common language ...
# Posted on November 22nd 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
still, we're in the same ball-park, eh,Mix
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
If my reply isn't ironic enough, Mix O'Lydian, shall I get out the irony board and the iron? What setting should I put the iron on? One of the steam settings such as linen, cotton, wool, or polyester? Or maybe one of the dry settings such as acrylic/silk or acetate/nylon?
On the other hand, though, the "steam" settings probably wouldn't hold water any more than any reply I could post to this discussion.
Considering how many years I have been playing at various jam sessions, I have been both careful and lucky because the one and only time I have spilled someone else's drink, it was Coca-cola in a glass (yes, someone was actually drinking Coca-cola at a session). The glass broke and the Coca-cola splattered on the floor and only on the floor. The waitress wasn't happy about cleaning up the mess. When I offered to buy this person another glass of Coca-cola, they gladly took me up on the offer.
Yes, I do understand that "car-park" and "parking lot" are supposed to be one and the same thing.
My earlier message was typed during while I was at work and couldn't give my full attention to what I was typing because I was supposed to be working instead of posting comments to some web site on the Internet.
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
As you now correctly say, faux, the dry steam irony settings were the ones needed in this case ...
... Cocoa-Cola? Well, the rest of us have only knocked over pints, but it seems that you actually knocked over the real thing ....
... and I'm glad to hear that you didn't elect for option (c). Cocoa Cola just isn't worth fighting for...
Parking lots / car parks? Perhaps your "parking lots" phrase is preferable - "They paved paradise, and put up up a car-park" just wouldn't sound right.
I'll forgive you for your faux pas (oops, sorry! Freudian slip!) and I'll promise not to tell your employer that you weren't giving your duties your full attention...
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... you could always tell your employer that this isn't just "some website" ...
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Prepare for a faux in the far park.
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
A far-fetched faux pas.
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
A fish-fight in the foe pas,
goes mainly in a carp ark.
Yep, thass't...bartender gimme another shot of red-eye.
# Posted on November 23rd 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
f) twit him first
# Posted on November 24th 2008 by gedpipes
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Yes, Mix O'Lydian, while they are under the influence of various strange and unusual genres of folk music, people will do weird and peculiar things--such as drinking Coca-cola at a jam session.
Some musicians are so depraved that they try to "keep it real" by drinking the "real thing" while they are at a jam session.
My hands aren't "faux paws"--they are the "real thing".
You are pardoned for your "Freudian slip" (did you borrow it from Frau Freud?).
My employer (a large hospital) doesn't seem to care whether or not I am visiting this particular web site. There is a"filter" on the main computer which blocks hospital employees from going to certain web sites (such as pornography, gambling, YouTube, etc.). Otherwise, I can surf the Internet while I am at work just so long as it doesn't interfere with my official duties.
Is that four fishy fatuous fatalistic philosophical far-fetched faux pas?
Are they similar to the carp in the ark?
We do have some carp in the Ark(ansas) here.
# Posted on November 24th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Faux - "Drinking Cocoa-Cola at a jam session? Do you eat jam, as well? Strawberry or huckleberry?
... And I trust that folks are a-dieing in that thur hospital of yours whilst you're neglecting your duties a-writing all these long screeds ...
Hmm...I see that you're an Akansas Traveler....
Best just take my advice then ...
If you drink and play, never mix yer Lydians ...
# Posted on November 24th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Cocoa-Cola? Chocolate Coke?
# Posted on November 24th 2008 by Bob himself
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Ahem ... a typo - the dreaded finger trouble - 'twas probably a faux pas. I'll blame it on fauxcelt ...
# Posted on November 25th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
At jam (or jelly or preserves) sessions of any type (Irish or otherwise), I usually drink water or beer while I am at the session. What I drink depends on whether or not they have a brand of beer which I like. I eat before I go to the session but I have seen other musicians take a break to eat if the session is in a restaurant.
In Arkansas, we prefer farkleberry jam.
Chocolate Coke sounds good to this chocoholic.
"Never mix my Lydians"? What about my sister whose name is Lydia?
As for my job, I am the medical clerk in one of the intensive care units at this hospital. I have been working here for three years. Since the nurses are the people who are actually getting their hands dirty taking care of the patients, if the nurses didn't like the way I do this job, I would have been transferred out of here a long time ago.
Some days here in this ICU are quiet and we don't have much to do while other days can be and are quite busy. It depends on what type of patients and how many patients are here in this ICU.
When I arrive at work, I am never quite sure what type of day to expect. These patients can surprise you unexpectedly in pleasant and unpleasant ways.
# Posted on November 25th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Ah yes, of course - I forgot that you Americans haven't yet mastered the English language. Is that why you refer to "jam" as "jello"? Does that mean that you also have jello sessions?
Sessions in resturants? The mind boggles! All ours are in pubs. The only proper place for a session.
I also like the idea of "chocolate coke" though - maybe we do have some things in common, after all..
Farkleberry=Sparkleberry=Huckleberry, does it not? Still I suppose if Hanna-Barbara had created a dog called "Farkleberry Hound", it wouldn't have sounded quite so cool. Barkleberry Hound might have been good, though ..
And you don't have any proper beer, either. You'll need to come to England if you want to try that. Maybe that's why you folks drink so much Cocoa (sorry, Coca) Cola) - it couldn't be any worse than American beer. If and when you make the trip, and get to an English pub, be sure to ask for real ale. Better still, make sure that the pub is CAMRA recommended (CAMRA =
Campaign for Real Ale).
If I had a sister called Lydia I wouldn't want her to be mixed ...
And I still think that you should give that medical clerking a little more intensive care ...
And finally (well, maybe not finally) a couple of questions for you:
1) Do you know the tune: "Arkansas Traveler"?
2) Can you play it? Without skipping over any of the notes?
3) Why is "Arkansas" pronounced "Arkansaw" (something I've always wanted to know!)
# Posted on November 25th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
It seems that what you accurately know about American English usage, Mix, would fit in a thimble and leave room for your knowledge of American microbreweries.
# Posted on November 25th 2008 by ∅
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Please enjoy the music while your party is reached...
http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=urB_EuOb2rY
Now There's some American English usage fer ya!! Sadly, this kind of talk is all but gone
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
who among you can dance on a wooden box?
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by airport
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Luckily this kind of talk is alive and well:
http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=RbK4cL3QSc0
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by airport
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
No, we don't have jello sessions here.
As for the farkleberry comment......many years ago, when Orval Faubus was governor of Arkansas, he stated that he had helped a state highway maintenance crew clear underbrush away from a road without damaging the farkleberry bush on the side of the road. A local political cartoonist named George Fisher linked Faubus permanently with that poor, unoffending little farkleberry bush for the rest of his life. Fisher never would allow Faubus to forget his comment about the farkleberry bush.
Both Faubus and Fisher are dead and gone now but the farkleberry bush lives on.
I never met Orval Faubus but I did get to meet Fisher and play music with him several years ago at the monthly meetings of a local old-time music society (I was playing bass with this group of mixed nuts). As well as playing guitar and singing, Fisher was one of the founding members of this group of mixed nuts.
Because Fisher lived here in Arkansas, he never lacked for material for his political cartoons and he always got more inspiration than he needed from the politicians here.
Since the local laws concerning the sale of alcoholic beverages are so strict and restrictive here in Arkansas, we have to hold our sessions wherever we can--including restaurants.
Until a few years ago, restaurants here weren't allowed to serve any alcoholic beverages at all on Sunday--unless the restaurant had paid the extra fees to be registered as a "private" club.
Thank you for the recommendations about beer in England. If we ever have the opportunity to travel to England, we will keep your recommendations in mind.
Yes, I do know the tune called the "Arkansas Traveler" and yes I can play it on the piano but I don't play it in public at sessions because there always seems to be a fiddle player present who can play it much better than I can. I just accompany the fiddler.
Arkansas isn't pronounced as it is spelled because some of the first Europeans to come here were from France and the French can't seem to spell or pronounce anything correctly. However, it is equally possible that the first Europeans here might have misunderstood some of the native American Indian words which they heard.
In other states such as Kansas, the name of a certain river is pronounced "Ar-Kan-Sass" instead of Ar-Kan-Saw".
Speaking of cartoons such as Huckleberry Hound......I remember watching this and other cartoons by Hanna-Barbera when I was a child. Unlike many other children, though, I would read the credits at the end of the cartoon and wonder who was this woman named Hanna Barbera or Barbera Hanna who seemed to be the producer of a lot of the cartoons I was watching.
Now that I am adult (chronologically), I know who William Hanna and Joseph Barbera were.
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
nice one, airport. At first i thought it was comedy bit... goes to show it's not always what you say , it's how you say it .
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Joesmith - OK good buddy wiser - maybe it was wrong of me to make disparaging remarks about your beer. But what percentage of beer sold in the US actually comes from microbreweries?
Thimbles are handy for sewing and for playing washboards, but not much use for storing American English dictionaries. Not in England, anyway.
I would agree that "American Engish" is as good as "English English". As long as you call it American English, and not "International English", like the folks in Microsoft do!
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Re: YouTube links, posted above:
Just loved that North Carolina accent. Pity if it's dying out.
As for the Boston accent, down the U-Tube would be more fitting place to send it.
(Sorry, Bostonites!)
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
fauxcelt - over here we have the bilberry, which also has a lot of alternative names, e.g. blaeberry, whortleberry, whinberry, myrtle blueberry etc. It's found on moors, so protecting it from roadside clearance wouldn't apply.
If only we had a Hanna-Barbera team over here, we could have had a "Bilberry Bulldog", maybe.
Over here, pianos at sessions would be just about as alien as sessions in resturants. I reckon that you really should try to make that trip to England. Or to Ireland or Scotland, for that matter. Get to find out what a real pub session is like! Get to taste our real ale as well. Or the real Guinness, if its Ireland that you get to. Or the real single malts, if Scotland.
At our sessions, we have a system of fines in force:
1) Singing "the Irish Rover" - buy one round of drinks.
2) Drinking Coca-Cola - buy two rounds of drinks.
3) Playing piano/keyboard/bongo-drums/shakey eggs - buy three rounds of drinks.
I'm still somewhat puzzled about the pronunciation of "Arkansas". Why isn't "Kansas" pronounced "Kansaw", then?
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
@fauxcelt:
'Real ale' in Britain can be really, really good - but this depends on variables. Go into a pub that sells real ale - happily, most of them I think these days - and you will see a few handpumps for one or another beer out of the great number currently on sale. They vary enormously, from heavy sweet ones to light, very bitter ones. To get one you like, ask the barman about what he's got and ask for a taste of one or more of them. This should be provided, in a small glass. How many you get through before buying a drink, or instead of buying a drink, is really up to you! - but with any luck, you soon happen on something drinkable.
Real ale, being "live" and unpasteurised, can go off. If you get a duff pint - flat, sour - you should be able to get it changed free for another at the bar - though it'll probably be for a different kind of beer. Mishandling and thunderstorms are two common causes of beer going off.
The British bilberry is a smaller relative of the American blueberry (which has been lately marketed as a wonderfood that can cure everything, make you live for ever and all the rest of it, like ginseng and all the other stuff. Very nice, for all that.) Bilberries grow on moors, but they are usually cropped close by sheep there. To find berries, one usually has to find them in some upland nook where the sheep can't get them and they grow to two feet or so. The best I know grow on some country lane-sides.
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Hey nicholas - my plan was to lure fauxcelt away from all those pianos and resturants first. (I would have explained all those little foibles and niceties concerning the real ale later on - you can be sure of that!)
Still, you did save me the trouble.
Didn't know about the thunderstorm thing though. I'll now be sure check the barometer before heading off to a session..
But how long is it since you last went walking on an upland moor or mountain in the UK? You'd be hard pushed to find a sheep in many such places these days. The low price paid for wool and lamb has pretty much wiped out hill farming. And when you do find a hill flock, it usually turns out to have been subsidised by the National Trust (e.g. in the English Lake District).
Good for bilberries, though!
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... so also good for hungry hill walkers who wish to live for ever?
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
I suspect the reason or reasons behind the pronounciation and the name of the state of Kansas may be similar to the reason why Arkansas is pronounced "Ar-Kan-Saw".
Thank you for the advice on alcoholic beverages. I will try to keep it in mind if we are ever able to visit the United Kingdom or the Irish Republic. But any such trips will have to wait until my wife finishes school and can get a real job.
And no we won't be bringing any musical instruments with us because I refuse to trust any of my instruments to the none-too-tender mercies of airline baggage (mis)handlers. Nor do I like traveling by airplane. The seats are too close together and the pressurized air in the cabin hurts my ears.
Since I don't sing or drink Coca-cola at sessions and I won't have my instruments with me, we will probably just sit there quietly and listen.
As for luring me away from the piano, that is impossible because I have been playing this instrument much too long and am addicted to it.
I play piano at the local sessions because that was the instrument which they asked me to bring when I told them which instruments I played.
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
One of the nurses whom I work with is originally from Scotland. She advised me to visit Scotland in July or August because the weather is better in those two months.
# Posted on November 26th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
As a piper i guess my pick is the cran-berry, heh. Southern Mass. is literally awash in the things this time of year. Mix O'Lydian, this is where the Bostonians live- not the Bostonites. Also, the pronunciation of Arkansas is definitely French in origin, just like Des Moines(read:The Moyne), and Des Plaines (pronounced "dess planes") Funny
cheers, pipewatcher
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Merci Beaucoup pour la lecon, Monsieur le pipesurveiller.
The name "Ozarks" supposedly came from the French words "Aux Arc".
Also, the place name "Low Freight" may have come from the French words for fresh water--"l'eau frais".
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Hi Pipes - I must confess, I did know that it was "Bostonians". Twas just part of my wind-up - but no-one took the bait - apart from you it seems ...
... And you're not even from Boston - at least, I presume that you're not.
Most remiss of me though to overlook "cranberry" as an alternative name for bilberry. Twas an insult to pipers - I trust that you will forgive me for that
... and thanks for the Aransaw info ...
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
faux - July/August might actually be a bad time to visit Scotland if you are an "outdoors" kind of a person. The reason being that this is right in the middle of the midge season. The midge is a biting insect that descends in swarms - especially on the scenic (west) side of Scotland, and especially near lochs and rivers. I'm surprised that your nurse friend didn't mention this. May or early June might be a better bet, before these wee beasties emerge.
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... it might be quite cold in May though. Maybe even snow, as you go higher up. You might not be too keen on this if you are used to the climate in Arkansaw!
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
no trouble,Mix!The cranberry is in fact an alternative berry to the bilberry, compleatly different. cranberries are very popular here this time of year(especially today) i've spent some great times roaming the wilds of South Mass. (and South Boston) during cranberry season. now,with winter descending, my other favourite is my trusty Burberry! faux- i don't know how good your french is, but your typing of the word for "lesson" is lewd without the squiggly bit on the "c" heheh
Happy "T" Day, mes amis!
cheers, pipewatcher
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Bostonite could be the name of a newly discovered mineral unearthed during the Big Dig, heh
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Salue, pipes: oui - la sqigglything ( ç ) elle s'appelle: "la cedilla".
Cranberries - now I understand - a diiferent species, and much larger than bilberries ....
When those Bostonites (oops, sorry, Bostonians) strike it rich I don't expect that they will invite me to their tea-party on account of the fact that I made mock of their accent....
C'est la vie!
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Thank you for the warning about the biting bugs called midges, Mix O'Lydian. I don't think it would be that much of a problem or an adjustment because we are used to being assaulted by mosquitoes here in Arkansas during the summer. This is especially true in the flatter, eastern part of Arkansas. We use bug spray to discourage the mosquitoes. Also, since July and August are the two hottest and most humid months here, that is when we like to travel to someplace cooler.
For example, my wife was born and raised in Wisconsin and still has family there. If we are going to visit her relatives, we go during the summer to get away from the heat and humidity here in Arkansas but we can't get away from the mosquitoes. They seem to be worse in Wisconsin than they are here.
All students at the college I attended were required to take a certain number of semesters of at least one foreign language and I picked French. The keyboard which came with my computer doesn't have the capability to add the accent mark which is supposed to go under the "c" in the French word for lesson. I think studying French helped improve my spelling, speaking, and writing of English. Based on my experience with trying to learn French, I think everybody should try to learn at least one language besides their native language.
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
There are wild cranberries in Britain (not to be confused with bilberries) but they are very small, rare and localised. The only wild berry here that is common overall and can be harvested in serious quantities is the blackberry (bramble). Rose-hips are also common - you can't eat them (enjoyably) straight, but they can be made into syrup high in Vitamin C. In the Sixties kids picked them for the companies for a bit of money. Now, of course, they don't bother.
I got the impression that May and September were the better (less rainy) months to visit Western Scotland and July and August the best for Eastern Scotland - but if I'm wrong, maybe a Scottish member will correct me. Seriously, fauxcelt, you don't want to end up among the Highland midges.
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Nicholas, thank you for the warning about the midges but I must ask if you have ever been in Arkansas or Wisconsin during the summer at the height (or depth) of mosquito season? I was completely serious when I said "assaulted" by mosquitoes.
Besides, as I have already stated, we can't afford to travel that far away from Arkansas until after my wife has finished school and gotten her teaching degree.
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
I have never been to the US, so have not visited the idylls you mention. Do the locals develop immunity to the mosquitoes?
Midges are not mosquitoes - they're minute, 2 millimetres or under in length, but unbelievably numerous. Their blood-sucking bite irritates and causes painful swellings: one's enough, let alone hundreds or thousands.
Because of the election, there's been a whole lot of stuff on TV by Brit presenters travelling round the USA. It certainly was interesting - I've just forgotten (if I saw it) what they saw or showed us of Arkansas...
# Posted on November 27th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Hey faux!
... a quick French lesson ... how to type a cedilla (ç ) on a US (or UK) keyboard:
1) Make sure that NumLock key is ON
2) Hold down the left Alt key, and keep it held down.
3) Keeping the left Alt key held down, type 135 on the numeric keypad.
4) Release the left Alt key
The cedila will appear on your screen .. as if by magic!
... like this ........ ç
Now, isn't it amazing what you can learn from reading the mustard board .... unlike most other boards, this one is the fount of all human knowledge ... no matter how obscure your question, some member or other will be able to supply the answer.
Nicholas wasn't joking about those Scottish midges, you know! Neither was I. Mosquitos are pussycats in comparison.
East coast Scotland might well be good in July or August, Nicholas. But not west coast in September. Still too many midges about!
Of all places in Scotland, the Isle of Skye is often said to have the most prolific and fiercest midges. And having camped at Glenbrittle (Skye) in August, I can vouch for that!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
I camped on a still damp evening in the last week of September in 1988 in Glen Nevis, West Highlands, and had no midge trouble: they must have packed in for the year, as those conditions would be just to their liking in their season.
Now, in Shetland which I visited three years running in the 80s midges aren't much trouble. They're either on the ground or they're being blown away! - there's usually a stiff breeze blowing, at least. I should imagine the same applies to Orkney. Also, Shetland lacks bushes, long grass, bracken (I barely saw any) - the stuff they can shelter in elsewhere.
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Fauxcelt, I've spent many summers camping and hiking in various places in the US but no mosquito attack ever compared to the onslaught of midges I experienced camping at Sligachan on Skye. The campground is just below the bar/hotel so the trick is to run like hell from your tent to the bar and then run like hell back to the tent at the end of the night. You find yourself obsessing and developing stringently enforced rules about entering and exiting the tent. Hundreds of the b*ggers took up residence between the fly and the tent and would assault you when you were in the tent's vestibule.
The midges also flew into the Land Rover as we were loading it up so we had to deal with all these midges swarming around inside the the car whilst driving around island and then back to Edinburgh. I think that was the trip the handle on the boot of the car rusted shut and I was dousing it with WD40. The handle never did come unstuck (we had to pull gear in and out through the passenger doors) but all these midges somehow ended up stuck in the WD40 and were pasted in this little midge graveyard on the back of the car. Good times.
The only place comparable, indeed worse, was Glen Etive in the West Highlands. I jumped out of the car to take some pictures of Loch Etive and hundreds of the things swarmed all over my hand while I was holding up the camera.
They sell midge nets at the Green Welly Stop for a reason.
September and October are better for midges, but no guarantees on the weather. Well, no guarantees on the weather in Scotland, ever, at any time of year. Last time I was on Skye we were getting blown away by 70mph gales. There were, however, no midges.
This place is awesome. Do come for a visit!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Midges don't seem to like personal spray-on insect repellent. (Spray it on yourself of course!)
Or you could try WD40!
I remember reading somewhere that historically during the English invasions of Ireland, the midges used to get inside the English armour in swarms - but not be able to get out again. How's that for an excruciating invasion!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight with the Midges?
Historically, the Scots used midges to defeat their enemies. This tactic was so successful, that they chose the midge as their national emblem.
However, after they had embroidered a giant midge on their banner, they found that it didn't look very attractive, and elected to have a thistle instead.
Of course, they then had to commission a legend writer to concoct the story about the thistle.
The rest is history ..
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Surely the midge is why the Romans built that wall.
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Silver - it wasn't the Romans that built that wall - it was the Geordies!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
All together now....!
The midges, the midges, I’m no gonna kid yiz,
The midges is really the limit,
With teeth like piranhas they’ll drive you bananas,
If you let them get under your semmit.....
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by On Sabbatical
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
- only if yer semmit is mawkit ....
... so, ye're familiar with the Argyle and Sutherland midges, then!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... post the abc, and we'll all sing it ....!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Most countries have weather forcasting websites ...
... but only Scotland has a midge forcasting website ....
http://www.midgeforecast.co.uk/2008/
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
At least where I am you can do battle with beasties and have a fighting chance, not just end up running around like an eejit wavin' your arms crazy in the air and jumping up and down, like those feckin midge things. Jeez they were a b*std. Never forget 'em. How can you live in places with those feckers there!?
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
A midge forecast ? And the scale doesn't go higher than 'nuisance' levels. Where does 'run screaming in frustration' fit in ?
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by David50
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
david_h - the midge forecasting levels are based on the assumption that you would have your trousers tucked into your socks and that you would be wearing a midge net!
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Oh I see - and are feeding sandwiches up inside a midge net with a gloved hand no doubt.
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by David50
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... or maybe this particular website is intended for midges, rather than for human surfers ....
... midges have a much higher tolerance level, so would see things in a different perspective ....
... Nessie can't stand midges either - that's why she rarely comes to the surface ...
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Reading a book about upland ecology once, I came across the mind-boggling information that the total weight of invertebrate life in a given area of boggy peat moorland is considerably more - maybe a few times more, though I've forgotten - than that of any sheep or other animals that its surface can support.
But filtering them out would be a bit of a bugger.
That is why, when you kill lots of them, they keep coming...
Mind, I think that in terms of bulk quantity, most of these are various kinds of daddy-long-legs, larger than midges and not obnoxious.
# Posted on November 28th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
I think the UK version of "daddy long-legs," the cranefly, are actually horrible, evil things out to get us, no matter how harmless we may be told they are. They are creepy things, flying around and looking sinister. Have you ever noticed their surprising ability to get into your flat? How the f*** do they get in?
Creepier of course are the American daddy long-legs, the spider-looking things which are actually not spiders as they only have six legs and one body segment. They have them in the UK as well but I don't know what they call them. The things feed on plant juices and while there is an urban myth classifying them as the most poisonous spider in the world, it is completely untrue. They are neither spiders nor poisonous, but they are creepy-looking.
Creepier are the house centipedes of New England. They are about two to three inches long with hundreds of longish legs and must be able to move at 30mph. Terrifying. When I lived in Massachusetts I'd deal with these critters by screeching and running in the opposite direction.
DD, don't they have vicious, man-eating flies in the Outback? At least they have man-eating crocodiles. Can't really beat that.
That is a brilliant euphemism. The highest midge-alert level is nuisance. David-h is right. Why is the running-and-screaming category not included?
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
The little round things with very long legs are called harvesters. They're quite harmless to humans - unless, I suppose, you ingest one or more, and have a choking fit...
I was told as a kid that centipedes (British ones) bit, stung and poisoned you all in one! Funny, I've never actually picked one up to put this to the test...I'm sure they do one little or no harm, but their appearance is quite off-putting.
Maybe the term "nuisance" as the highest midge-alert level is carefully pitched so as not to scare away tourists, but also to cover the backs of anyone who might stand to be sued on grounds of a ruined holiday.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Ingesting them.... eeek! I could face a deep fried grasshopper but never a daddy long-legs/harvester.
Nothing so disconcerting as facing down a giant one that has ensconced itself on your front door with its legs sprawled out. Who knew a harmless little invertebrate could keep you out of your house.
I doubt the Massachusetts centipedes are seriously poisonous, unless you eat a bunch of them. They don't need to be as their appearance alone will send you running for the hills. Well, me anyway. One of my fellow undergraduates was rather unfazed and I remember her smashing one into the wall of the uni computer lab with calculus textbook.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
the old fiddlers here more often than not hung their fiddles on the wall when not in use. It was a common practise to put the rattle from a rattlesnake inside the fiddle to ward off spiders. a wise precaution, for here lives the dreaded Brown Recluse! A seriously dangerous little beast. look it up if you're interested-i'll spare the gorey details...
we have midges here too, known as biting black flies. if you dont believe me, go blueberry-picking in southern Maine sometime
down south is the worst creepie of all: the palmetto or water bug. a cockroach 2-3 inches long that flies at your head when irritated!
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by pipewatcher
Re: Prepare for a Fight with a Rattlesnake?
I just loved that story, Pipes!
If I've understood you correctly - if you have a safety concern about a poisinous spider getting inside your fiddle, to deal with it you have to go off and capture a rattlesnake and remove its rattle without upsetting the snake too much!
Over here in England (NE), there is is a history of bands being called the something-or-other "rattlers" . Don't know the origin of this useage, but no doubt that nicholas will have a ready answer?
And then of course, in Ireland you have "the Rattling Bog"
... never really understood that useage either ...
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
nicholas - I reckon that your cynical explanation of the understated midge warnings is probably correct!
Or maybe the warning system was designed by someone who is also a rock-climber. Those folks are very fond of using massive understatement for affect. In a climbing guide book, a manoevre that normal people would consider to be death-defying is usually just described as being "delicate" or "slightly awkward"!
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Yes, but Silver, with outback flies although there are millions of them, you can at least see the effers, and a lot of the time they just sit there....like this -
http://hapworkingtheworld.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/490-my-friends-the-flies.jpg
unless you stir them up.
As for the crocs, again, you can see them (unless you go for a swim in their waterhole, which you should never do of course).
Poachers, I understand, resort to blowing up waterholes with gelignite or something, or shoot the crocs for skins (which is illegal now).
See, you can actually DO something about them - try those things with midges and you'd be locked up in short shrift and the key thrown away I'd say.
All you can do is stand there are lather youself in that sickening aerosol anti-insect spray. Mmm, aeroguard and a fine wine, wonderful combination - with the midges.
I stayed at a hostel next to Mt Errigal once, and literally everyone was holed up inside because of the damn midges.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
a lot of the time they just sit there…unless you stir them up.
See how your environment can influence your culture?
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Didge - maybe someone could persuade Paul Hogan to make a new film: "Midge Dundee"!
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
No, nicholas, the locals haven't developed immunity to the mosquitoes. The mosquitoes seem to be most numerous in the eastern part of Arkansas where they drained the swamps in order to grow rice.
Mix O'Lydian, thank you for telling me how to type the cedilla although I will probably never need to type it again.
Siver spear, I am surprised that the midges didn't try to pick up the Land Rover with you still in and try to carry it away to some hiding place so they could eat you without any witnesses. I have heard jokes about mosquitoes carrying away cows and other animals to eat them in a secret hiding place.
Yes, we would like to visit but that will have to wait until my wife graduates from school with her teaching degree.
One warm day my wife and I were hiking in one of the National Forest areas here. Since there were mosquitoes trying to harass us, I got the can of insect repellent out of my back-pack and sprayed any mosquito who was stupid enough to come within range or eyesight. My wife made some sarcastic comment about men who just have to try to shoot at anything that moves.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Yeah, put another midge on the barbie.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
look at the ugly feckers!...
http://www.mzephotos.com/gallery/insects/midge-in-profile.html
When you crunch them, they seem to just uncrinkle and resume their shape. Aliens!
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
... yes, another midge on the barbie - and music provided by a midgeredo!
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
yeah, a little whistling sound as the effers fry on hotplate - Whizzzz! Zeeee!
Why can't some smart scientist come up with a genetic modification to let loose, so these b*trds little pin heads fall off when they take off, or something.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
May the wind be always at your back; And a midge ne'er bite you on the bum.
Until we meet again.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Skull Duggeraigh Dubh
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
My boyfriend was chasing midges down with a can of Raid while we were on Skye. I'm not convinced it made any difference in the midge population but it's pretty entertaining to watch them fall from the sky.
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Prepare for a Fight with a Monster Midge
Yes a massive monster midge. Remember, you saw it here first!
http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/usfeatures/midges/
... "undiscovered" Scotland? Not everyone's found those midges yet, it seems!
# Posted on November 29th 2008 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
Might need at least two cans of Raid for that one.
# Posted on November 30th 2008 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Prepare for a Fight in the Car-Park?
My spraying the mosquitoes didn't seem to discourage them or make any difference in the number of mosquitoes who were harassing us but fighting back against the mosquitoes and harassing them by spraying them was just too much fun for me.
Since I used up the whole can of insect repellent, I did have to buy some more after we got home.
# Posted on November 30th 2008 by fauxcelt