Comments

Things that are never said at a session

By the musicians:
"Thank goodness, another guitar player!"
"Everybody needs to try harder to speed up."
"That mandolin is remarkably in tune."
"You can hardly hear the bagpipes."
"More cowbell!"

By the listeners:
"All these tunes sound nothing like each other."

Others?

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by crazy_fingerz

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"that's OK squire, as a musician I'm happy to pay for my own drinks"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Why yes, that IS the banjo player's Porsche parked out front.

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by fidkid

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Don't you just love it when Martin plays tunes in F?

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Backer

Re: Things that are never said at a session

You can't have enough percussion

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Could you talk a bit louder, please?"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by maxF

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Welcome to the session my name is"

I know a few places were you won't hear this

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Sorry we are saving that seat just in case a bodhran player comes in

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

lets play the Lonesome Boatman

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Saint will you sing a song

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

can I sit next to you saint

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"More backing, that's what we need! More backing!"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by maxF

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Are you not drinking to night saint

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

It's your turn Brian, don't be shy.

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Alf Tupper

Re: Things that are never said at a session

I m going away because ye are all sh*t musicians.

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Tell that good looking girl to stop staring at me.

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

me thinks eddie is dreaming

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by bazouki dave

Re: Things that are never said at a session

let me dream dave its a happy place .hows everyone at the cumberland arms?Thanks again I had a great weekend and I loved morpeth.

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

No, I never have done, 'cause it was in tune when I bought it.

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by drone

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Hey, let's play the Kesh Jig!!"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Greg the Piano Tuner

Re: Things that are never said at a session

It dose nt matter if everyones out of tune

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

put the fiddle on the ground it will be ok there

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"No - we do the bagpipe set and 'The Turkish Song Of The Damned', and THEN we crowd-surf..!"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"It's about time we had a bodhran duet. With all 7 of you playing."

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Wurzel

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"I'll teach you all a morris tune I've just written. It's got a very slow third part that's played three times..."

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Gee, I love you being all out of tune, that's what makes your music so REAL..!"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"2 seconds and I'll have these pipes out an playing"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"you're OK, it must be my flute that's out of tune"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"My dogs are just longing to romp all over you, they've had a hard day, would you mind awfully if I let them off the lead just for a little bit, I feel they deserve a treat..."

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"I don't care who you say he is, I can play twice as fast as that - watch me..."

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"no, no, we regulars at the bar really appreciate being alerted when someone in the session is singing a long solo ballad and you're absolutely spot on to tell us to shush our convivial conversations"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"no that's OK, we can watch the cup final at home"

# Posted on May 26th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Yes of course I know the name. It's called ..."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by benhall.1

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Just keep on smoking that cigarette and blow the smoke right over in my direction, especially when I'm playing this flute, as it really improves my breath control, and I just love going home with the delicate fragrance of Ache Tré on my clothes, and my small children love it too, cos it's vegetarian so it must be good for them. I'm really dreading July 1st. Oh, and I love cigars even more.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Alf Tupper

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"I sure love the tune 'The Wizard's Walk'."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by crazy_fingerz

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"I could hardly tell that the banjo player didn't really know that last tune."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by crazy_fingerz

Re: Things that are never said at a session

it time for the last tune will we play a slow air

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

The flute player begins a tune and gets a snot that starts whistling. The rest of the players nod and smile convincingly.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Ray Mariani

Re: Things that are never said at a session

yes of course ye can play cards at this table

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

barman You can leave the back round music on it does nt bother us

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

johnny the horse can't come into the bar tie him up outside

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Stranger walks into rip roaring flying session:
"I just bought a bodhran and a geetar - see! Teach me how ta play 'em tonight, will ya?"
"Sweet!"
Session leader puts down fiddle, smiling broadly, to show stranger some basic chords, strums and drum beats so he can bang and/or thump along as is his pleasure.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Clear Drops

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Since it seems like nobody knew the last 5 obscure tunes I played, I will start playing some more well known ones."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by crazy_fingerz

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Frankie Gavin was n't invited how dare he just turn up and try to play at our session.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

yes banjo player, come sit next to me, and bring your 4 bodhran friends with you. We'll have a lovely time.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Flute86

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"What? Another Gmin tune? Do you hate flute players?"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by slainte

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"What? Another McGoldrick tune? Do you seriously know any good traditional tune?"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by slainte

Re: Things that are never said at a session

that guy needs bigger spoons

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

keep tapping that glass with the coin its lovely

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Where did the strippers go

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Even tho the tab has run out, let's stay and play some more.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by feardearg

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Please, kind listeners, keep the applause quiter and shorter. We are all humble musicians and we are so embarrassed.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by feardearg

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Let's have another lovely sean nos song, Pat. We've only had five ...

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by benhall.1

Re: Things that are never said at a session

get off the table and sit down like the rest of us

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

It was me who threw up over your concertina...

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

C'mon chaps. Let's all shove up and give the bodhran player some room.

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by benhall.1

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"whaddya mean, there are six different ways of pronouncing it? Can't even you lot agree on one of them? And you say this has been going on for hundreds of years?..."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"arnt those 60 yr old men great at picking up tunes by ear..... and they've only been playing for two months or so...."

that really hapens..... cos they just sit there all nite playing random notes...... argh!!!!!!

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by saxwhistle

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"No more beer tonight please. A dram is all I can hold."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by jrathbun

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Obviously all your instruments must be home-made..."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Do you know "They Can't Stop the Spring" by any chance? It is my favourite song!

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by No Cause For Alarm

Re: Things that are never said at a session

The pipes and that mandolin sound great together

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

do ya think Clare will beat Cork

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Let's just go out for a smoke one at a time instead of all disappearing at once"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"now that two musicians are here, let's start playing immediately and then we can finish early"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

I know its not my turn to call but i'd like to buy the drink for the night

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Is a session a performance...ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

This is the 7th last set

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Of course bodhrans are OK on slow airs!

You think I'm kidding...

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Steve Shaw

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Lads have ye heard of The Session.org it has some great information on it.

Low one

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"You're a crap player, u shoulnt even bother"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by copo24

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Whamberpopp! Whamberpopp! Whamberpopp!"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by maxF

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"i swapped my mandolin for a sitar, its easier to tune"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by DubChieftain

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"no, attractive young tourist woman with low-cut T-shirt, you can't sit next to me and , sorry, I won't even consider given you private tuition, not for a split-second"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Not so loud, Bliss".

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by bodhran bliss

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Bliss is a great bodhran player.........................sorry i m getting confused

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Oh, it's perfectly alright to play the Rights of Man at double speed just because you *can*."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by kuec

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"What's that outlandish pipe thing that sounds like two drunken dog-fights in a henhouse?"

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"The last clue's under that bench, you're all just going to have to move!.."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"My ten-year-old's got all her violin grades and you call yourselves musicians!.."

(This one's rather near the bone, actually...)

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"I'm sorry I can't buy any of you a drink, but I'd love it if you played Annie's Song through a few times, and my wife will make humpback whale noises, she's really good at it..."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

that ceili drum is exactly what this session needed

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Nicholas, those are all things you could easily hear at a session ....

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Bren

Re: Things that are never said at a session

will play that bodhran solo one more time

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Oh, they've put on the piped music. Are we allowed to play along with it?

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by lazyhound

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"I thought of playing in sessions but I'm too good-looking."

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

There are too many good looking women at this session its terrible

# Posted on May 27th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

This is great. I wish there was somebody to listen to us.

# Posted on May 28th 2007 by RockyRoader

Re: Things that are never said at a session

The bodhran player just isn't quite loud enough.

# Posted on May 28th 2007 by RockyRoader

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Hey, chaps, we haven't been asked to do Fields of Athenry for absolutely months! How about it then!

# Posted on May 28th 2007 by Steve Shaw

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"Hello, we're talent spotters, and we're seriously interested in the bloke who's passed out under the table..."

# Posted on May 28th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

There are no drugs around tonight

# Posted on May 28th 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Stop hitting my flick-knife with your bodhran

# Posted on May 29th 2007 by geoffwright

Re: Things that are never said at a session

"My son can play that reel on his electric guitar with his teeth..."

# Posted on May 29th 2007 by nicholas

Re: Things that are never said at a session

My, that banjo player's good-looking!

# Posted on May 29th 2007 by Catherine..

Re: Things that are never said at a session

It s very important to be able to play all the purcussion instruments .spoons ,bodhran, triangle etc.

# Posted on May 31st 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

BRITISH ISLES

# Posted on June 2nd 2007 by Saint

Re: Things that are never said at a session

Let's try and cut down the intervals between 'sets of tunes' to about 15 minutes, me hands keep getting cold.
"Don't look up when you're playing lads, there may be customers watching you", and to the customers "No we can't play Sean South of Garryowen nor Danny Boy, and we certainly don't know the bloody Sally Gardens"

# Posted on June 3rd 2007 by Free Reed