Well at this approx time they should be gathering in the Blythe and possibly indulging in a wee bit of tuning before setting off for 3 approx hours of choice music and first class company...........well most of the time anyway
will I ever go there again or any other session?
You see the Mrs produced a baby about 6 weeks ago - yes I did have something to do with it and I had an idea it was coming. I know I am very lucky to be that dad of a very cute wee baby who is just now smiling with some discerment I hope but I can't help hankering for that session fix and yet I haven't been able to negotiate a pass yet.
So I am interested in all you who became parents while attending a session (I am talking generally not literally giving birth in a session although if that has been someone's experience please post). When did you get back to playing? Did it interupt at all? What strategies did you use to get back in the groove etc etc? Is there light at the end of the tunnell?
hi Alasdair, I understand this experience must be hard for a young daddy. When I got my children (2 girls), I took up music again after about 2 months. But then, i am only a mother, so what do i know about the hardships of being a dad.
Congratulations! It should all get easier after the first six weeks and start to settle down. After that, it depends on you and the Mrs. and the baby's sleeping preferences. It's always easier for a man to get his life back together than it is for a woman. Don't whatever you do say what the husband of a friend of mine said to her after their first baby was born: "I had a really bad night last night - I heard you every time you got up!" They are still married, just!
A new dad at my session recently brought his seven week old daughter along. ("Oh, my , they're starting them young," commented the session host.) Wise man, and good husband - gave the Mrs. a night off, too, instead of trying to negotiate a pass with her.
When I was a young man/when we were first married/up to the burth of No. 1 Son; it was folk clubs rather than sessions; and yes, attendance did take a dive. We were still listening to our large record collection, the bits of music on the radio, tried to get to a couple of folk festivals a year, and I had my barn-dance band to get my musical and performing rocks off with.
At this minute, you might not realise it but you have a very portable and easily managed bundle, and when they ban smoking in the pubs in about two-and-a-half months you might even find your SO would not object to coming out with you and little bundle, even if she occasionally has to take it into the changing area ( or maybe that's your job sometimes ).
When they get mobile it gets a bit trickier, but then there's always babysitters. Worse than that is usually that you are on one salary instead of two, so there's no spare cash for a while. There are certainly times when the withdrawl symptoms make you want to scream. But all these things will pass. Personally the big opportunity to get back to music-making for me was only when I lost my job, and suddenly had time and energy to spare, and to get out again. Now I work part-time, the kids are grown up, and SO and me get out to some sort of music several times a month. But that's another story........
say goodbye to late nights and hello to early mornings
I only got into sessions properly after my kids had grown up a bit. I realised I had hardly played for about ten years, and began to nervously venture out in search of someone to play with. I had lost touch with everyone musical by then so it was like starting from scratch.
Doesn't have to be that way with you - I encountered at least one session-going new parent on my recent travels. All you need is an understanding spouse/partner. Easy
I'll second srt19170. Babies and children are small for such a short time and once it's passed you can't get it back. It's hard and it's tiring but you'll never regret the time you spent with your kids, although, for sanitys sake you should be able to negotiate one night out a week/fortnight soon depending on how hard the week has been. Some people have nice easy happy babies that sleep well, and others have babies that scream from 6pm til 11pm. I had one of each
Alasdair, first and foremost, congratulations and best wishes to you and your family.
It's a truism to say "Everybody's experience is different," but well, that's precisely how it goes. People wonder how one can "prepare" to be a parent, and fact is you really can't; you just have to deal with whatever is in front of you. Along the way, you often find your priorities change, and some things that seemed so incredibly important to you a few years ago aren't even on your radar screen.
But does that mean your sessioning days are done? Hardly. My wife and I took our first-born to sessions (mainly of the house rather than pub variety) pretty regularly in her first 12-15 months; even brought her along for a few music camps. We were fortunate enough to know other musician-parents, so there were the occasional dinner parties to which we could all bring the kids along and (more or less) let them play around while we indulged our muse.
But in our particular case, there were a whole succession of major life events that took place in the first few years after our older daughter was born -- not least being the arrival of our second child two years later.
We also bought and moved into a two-family home, part of which we rented out; our kids started school, which took a fair amount of our time as well. It just got to the point where I couldn't muster much energy to pick up an instrument, let alone play it with other people.
But then about 10 years ago my older daughter got interested in folk dancing, and through this activity I met up with other parents who had similar interests and were quite involved in the folk music and dance scene. I was inspired to do likewise, and in the process started making my way out to house and pub sessions again, with increasing frequency.
As I did so, I started thinking a lot more about my technique and approach to the music, and how to improve on what I had done in my previous musical life. I therefore feel that I haven't just "gotten back" to where I was, but that I've moved ahead significantly.
Yeah, I guess you could say there were some lost years, musically, but then again perhaps I was just gathering steam for the great leap forward.
Your story may not turn out quite the same as mine, but hopefully it'll be a happy one.
Best of luck!
The combination of work and my two and a half year old more or less precludes me ever getting the fiddle out in the flat. It's no real problem though, as I'm not that keen on playing on my own anyway, and I learn easily enough tunes in my once a week session. And barring a few weeks of turmoil, I don't expect the arrival of number two in 12 days (ish) to seriously upset this.
Nope, Alasdair, your life will never be the same. But if you wanted your life to be the same, you would never have kids!
Pete is right, though; they are pretty portable at this age. Enjoy! Things get more complicated as they get older. Babies are basically eat, poop, sleep. As long as they are well-fed, dry and well-rested, the world is your oyster; you can take them everywhere. You do have to adjust your expectations a bit; someone else suddenly has some needs. But when I look back on the time when my daughters were small, I am amazed at how much we managed to do. Now they have strong opinions about music; when they were small, they would listen and dance to anything.
And there is the kitchen session strategy: I play one day a week at the house of a friend with small children. She gets her music fix, the kids are tucked neatly in bed (when they aren't hiding behind the sofa, giggling.).
First of all, congratulations and I hope your wife and the baby are well.
Personally I feel that any music is there to speak of things words cannot express and having a child/children is one of these. So I found being a father a great inspiration, no matter whether I was playing or not. And I can´t think of someone refusing to play with you because you have been away for a while taking care of your baby.
Our daughters and 3 and 5 now and they dance like mad when I play polka. What fun that is!
So, enjoy your time as a daddy. Music will always be with you.
Congratulations to Alasdair and congratulations in advance to Llig.
We have a 3 1/2 month old (and two others). Sometimes I think my wife would rather have me at a session than in the next room practicing. At least that's what I try to convince her.
You won't be missing much when the baby gets on a regular sleeping schedule, if s/he hasn't already.
I have had 4 children since playing music at sessions. I used to bring my first daughter to a Sunday afternoon session in a very friendly pub when she would sleep in an infant carrier. If this works for you, it would be a nice little break for your spouse.
A few years ago, one of our fiddlers played in the session on Sunday, gave birth to her third child on Wednesday, and played again on Sunday. She took a little more time off for the fourth, but not much.
Congratulations to you and the missus, Alasdair. And to you and yours as well, Michael.
About fifteen months ago I came home from my weekly session to a wife who announced she was in labor. Our little girl was born near dawn. I think I missed only one session, the one the next week. But then, I am married to an angel. I don't have the time to practice as much at home, but when I do it's wonderful, our lttle girl is drawn to music.
There's a popular book by Tracey Hogg called "The Baby Whisperer" that has some useful advice on getting a baby (and the parents) on a schedule that provides needed structure for the infant and even some free time for the adults so they can recharge. You might want to give it a look if you get the chance. It helped us a lot.
It's not so bad. If you've an understanding parter, it makes all the difference. And the bonus, when they get older, they may start developing an interest. My eldest daughter, now six, works studiously at her piano lessons in hopes I'll buy her a banjo and a fiddle, and my eldest boy, now four, has a toy accordion and obsesses over the real ones. The other two just love bouncing to the music.
One of my solutions to that problem Alasdair was to simply marry a musician, so the music never ever stopped for us, but instead of the pub every week, when he was very young, we just used to get a bunch of musicians over for the weekend & as often as possible in between.
I remember our son used a bouncy chair to just bounce his way from one side of the kitchen to the other, as the music tore on, then someone would turn him round & he'd bounce his way back over again!
Music was a part of our lives & it made no sense to stop it just because we had a baby. In any case we wanted music to be a part of his life too!
Incidentally, he's 24 now, has an Hons degree in music & is a pro jazz musician. He's actually gigging at the Isle of Wight Jazz thingy this weekend!
So I'd recommend you keep music around you & around the new babby too Alasdair. Of course, handled properly, music can have a very soothing effect on a young child. Good Luck
P.S. One thing worries me though Alasdair. You refer to the baby as *it*, which makes me wonder if perhaps you've never changed *its* nappy yet, so don't actually know what sex *it* is, yet!
Come on sir, get yer sleeves rolled up, get that clothes peg on yer nose & get tore in there! It's really not that bad, after the first time!
Thanks for all those rays of hope - I have had just a broken nights sleep although the Mrs would no doubt have much better right to claim this due to current feeding arrangements. I am just downstairs having a five minute breakfast before returning to the wee bundle who has only just now popped back to sleep.
I know things will chanage - have been looking forward to it actuay but do wander how actually my playing will develop. What is clear (as with children and parents) is that it is different for everyone and dependant on that wee baby and SO. My SO doesn't play but is supportive of me doing so as long as the obsession is kept under control - as my other vices have dimininshed since getting together I think she allows me this one to keep me sane and happy at home.
Think perhaps therefore its like good music - getting the balance right - and while its balanced in a cedrtain way currently a wee bit of re-setting and re-tuning when the time is right should do the trick.
I've been a father for 3 and a half months now and am managing to get to sessions a couple of times a month. I have a very understanding wife, but we have an arrangement where she goes to bellydancing classes most weeks and in return I get to go to sessions occasionally. The time off helps keep us both sane.
We actually both took the wee lassie along to an afternoon session last weekend -- she enjoyed being bounced around to the tunes. We're really looking forward to the no smoking law coming in in July so we can take her along more often with a clear conscience.
Absolutely - roll on the smoking ban. We were in Wales a week ago and it's brilliant that you can go to pubs and actually not come home smelling like an ashtray courtesy of other people's smoke. Typical that England comes round to it way later than anyone else.
Enjoy being a daddy - I have three children and wouldn't have missed it for the world. You don't mention if your partner plays, but we did a lot of playing together before we had children (in both senses!) but having children definitely limits the opportunity to BOTH go out and take part in a pub session - perhaps twice a year now instead of twice a month. However, it shouldn't stop one of you going out.
Expect eighteen years to just disappear. You'll look at your hulking brute of a son or beautiful siren of a daughter and think, "Eighteen years ago we had a baby - where did the time go?"
If you know more tunes than you did when they first arrived to steal your life, that means you managed to get to a few sessions along the way ....
Congrats, and like Ottery said, the years will fly by, and the next thing you know you will be a proud grandpa like me with plenty of time to go to the pub and play!
It's allright for mothers. Having spent the whole day at home with the baby, they've automatically earned their evening out. Fathers, on the other hand, having spent the day out at the office or the factory, are then duty bound to spend the evening in. }~
The only offspring I have spawned thus far is a mandolin which, despite being a mere 5 years old, always accompanies me to sessions.
Congratulations, Alasdair. Boy or Girl? From my experience of other people's children, I think the vast majority of children are stimulated by music. So, keep playing to him/her. It might be a few years before you have a playing partner, but you're guaranteed a receptive audience.
think she should be down for the night now - my wee girl that is - just snatching a quick look on line here - will buy that book mentioned and yes I reckon children and music will go well together so am hoping for some rewards in years to come without being hopeful of anything in particular - just plan to have music around -
while I haven't been to a session for a while I have been listening to a lot more music around the house which has been great - and hopefully won't be too long before an hour or two at the Blythe - I know some of the others have wee'uns but everyone's set up is different so as my little girl gets into a routine I hope I can too that includes a tune and a Guiness
Hiya Big Al. And big big Congratulations. To yersell, the Mrs and the wean. Sorry to have missed this one as I've been away in Suffolk.
I can't really add much to the good advice given above - but you mentioned the Blythe. Just think how many of the regular attendees are parents - Max, Aidan, me, Gordon, to mention but a few. Oor Fergus is 4 and a half now, but I still managed to get out quite soon after his arrival. The thing to do is to ensure Herself gets out at least one night a week with her mates, so you can get out to the BHT (or wherever) on *your* night.
Actually, mainly, the time will fly by, and suddenly the sprogs are at Uni and you have time on your hands again.
A last tip for new parents - keep the kids on the mother rather than the bottle for as long as reasonable; they don't pong half as badly, and it's all organic from the mother. On the other hand, if they can walk to their meals it's time to stop..........( shades of Little Britain )..
Ha ha ha! Speaks the man! It also means that if the Mummy goes out she has to take the baby with her, leaving her darling husband with a nice peaceful night in! It also means that only Mummy can do the night feeds. I'm all in favour of making sure the baby knows how to take a bottle occasionally so the mother can have some time out although mother is always best for the majority of feeds when possible.
Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Well at this approx time they should be gathering in the Blythe and possibly indulging in a wee bit of tuning before setting off for 3 approx hours of choice music and first class company...........well most of the time anyway
will I ever go there again or any other session?
You see the Mrs produced a baby about 6 weeks ago - yes I did have something to do with it and I had an idea it was coming. I know I am very lucky to be that dad of a very cute wee baby who is just now smiling with some discerment I hope but I can't help hankering for that session fix and yet I haven't been able to negotiate a pass yet.
So I am interested in all you who became parents while attending a session (I am talking generally not literally giving birth in a session although if that has been someone's experience please post). When did you get back to playing? Did it interupt at all? What strategies did you use to get back in the groove etc etc? Is there light at the end of the tunnell?
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Alasdair
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
hi Alasdair, I understand this experience must be hard for a young daddy. When I got my children (2 girls), I took up music again after about 2 months. But then, i am only a mother, so what do i know about the hardships of being a dad.
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by claudine
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Congratulations! It should all get easier after the first six weeks and start to settle down. After that, it depends on you and the Mrs. and the baby's sleeping preferences. It's always easier for a man to get his life back together than it is for a woman. Don't whatever you do say what the husband of a friend of mine said to her after their first baby was born: "I had a really bad night last night - I heard you every time you got up!" They are still married, just!
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by bowburner
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Ten years from now the music will still be there. Your baby won't be.
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by srt19170
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
A new dad at my session recently brought his seven week old daughter along. ("Oh, my , they're starting them young," commented the session host.) Wise man, and good husband - gave the Mrs. a night off, too, instead of trying to negotiate a pass with her.
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Tall, Dark, and Mysterious
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
When I was a young man/when we were first married/up to the burth of No. 1 Son; it was folk clubs rather than sessions; and yes, attendance did take a dive. We were still listening to our large record collection, the bits of music on the radio, tried to get to a couple of folk festivals a year, and I had my barn-dance band to get my musical and performing rocks off with.
At this minute, you might not realise it but you have a very portable and easily managed bundle, and when they ban smoking in the pubs in about two-and-a-half months you might even find your SO would not object to coming out with you and little bundle, even if she occasionally has to take it into the changing area ( or maybe that's your job sometimes ).
When they get mobile it gets a bit trickier, but then there's always babysitters. Worse than that is usually that you are on one salary instead of two, so there's no spare cash for a while. There are certainly times when the withdrawl symptoms make you want to scream. But all these things will pass. Personally the big opportunity to get back to music-making for me was only when I lost my job, and suddenly had time and energy to spare, and to get out again. Now I work part-time, the kids are grown up, and SO and me get out to some sort of music several times a month. But that's another story........
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
"birth..."
Shoot the proofreader.
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
say goodbye to late nights and hello to early mornings
I only got into sessions properly after my kids had grown up a bit. I realised I had hardly played for about ten years, and began to nervously venture out in search of someone to play with. I had lost touch with everyone musical by then so it was like starting from scratch.
Doesn't have to be that way with you - I encountered at least one session-going new parent on my recent travels. All you need is an understanding spouse/partner. Easy
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Bren
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
I'll second srt19170. Babies and children are small for such a short time and once it's passed you can't get it back. It's hard and it's tiring but you'll never regret the time you spent with your kids, although, for sanitys sake you should be able to negotiate one night out a week/fortnight soon depending on how hard the week has been. Some people have nice easy happy babies that sleep well, and others have babies that scream from 6pm til 11pm. I had one of each
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by bowburner
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Alasdair, first and foremost, congratulations and best wishes to you and your family.
It's a truism to say "Everybody's experience is different," but well, that's precisely how it goes. People wonder how one can "prepare" to be a parent, and fact is you really can't; you just have to deal with whatever is in front of you. Along the way, you often find your priorities change, and some things that seemed so incredibly important to you a few years ago aren't even on your radar screen.
But does that mean your sessioning days are done? Hardly. My wife and I took our first-born to sessions (mainly of the house rather than pub variety) pretty regularly in her first 12-15 months; even brought her along for a few music camps. We were fortunate enough to know other musician-parents, so there were the occasional dinner parties to which we could all bring the kids along and (more or less) let them play around while we indulged our muse.
But in our particular case, there were a whole succession of major life events that took place in the first few years after our older daughter was born -- not least being the arrival of our second child two years later.
We also bought and moved into a two-family home, part of which we rented out; our kids started school, which took a fair amount of our time as well. It just got to the point where I couldn't muster much energy to pick up an instrument, let alone play it with other people.
But then about 10 years ago my older daughter got interested in folk dancing, and through this activity I met up with other parents who had similar interests and were quite involved in the folk music and dance scene. I was inspired to do likewise, and in the process started making my way out to house and pub sessions again, with increasing frequency.
As I did so, I started thinking a lot more about my technique and approach to the music, and how to improve on what I had done in my previous musical life. I therefore feel that I haven't just "gotten back" to where I was, but that I've moved ahead significantly.
Yeah, I guess you could say there were some lost years, musically, but then again perhaps I was just gathering steam for the great leap forward.
Your story may not turn out quite the same as mine, but hopefully it'll be a happy one.
Best of luck!
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by sts
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
It may not *stop*, but you can expect a lot of your life to go on hold for 10, 15 or 20 years.
The responsibility changes everything.
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Lingpupa
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
The combination of work and my two and a half year old more or less precludes me ever getting the fiddle out in the flat. It's no real problem though, as I'm not that keen on playing on my own anyway, and I learn easily enough tunes in my once a week session. And barring a few weeks of turmoil, I don't expect the arrival of number two in 12 days (ish) to seriously upset this.
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by llig leahcim
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Make a deal with the Mrs. You get one night a week and she gets one. That's what I did. Or can't you breastfeed?
# Posted on April 12th 2007 by Farr
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Nope, Alasdair, your life will never be the same. But if you wanted your life to be the same, you would never have kids!
Pete is right, though; they are pretty portable at this age. Enjoy! Things get more complicated as they get older. Babies are basically eat, poop, sleep. As long as they are well-fed, dry and well-rested, the world is your oyster; you can take them everywhere. You do have to adjust your expectations a bit; someone else suddenly has some needs. But when I look back on the time when my daughters were small, I am amazed at how much we managed to do. Now they have strong opinions about music; when they were small, they would listen and dance to anything.
And there is the kitchen session strategy: I play one day a week at the house of a friend with small children. She gets her music fix, the kids are tucked neatly in bed (when they aren't hiding behind the sofa, giggling.).
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Batlady
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
What?!!?--you could also lug one of the large puppy crates along with you; easier to clean.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Batlady
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
First of all, congratulations and I hope your wife and the baby are well.
Personally I feel that any music is there to speak of things words cannot express and having a child/children is one of these. So I found being a father a great inspiration, no matter whether I was playing or not. And I can´t think of someone refusing to play with you because you have been away for a while taking care of your baby.
Our daughters and 3 and 5 now and they dance like mad when I play polka. What fun that is!
So, enjoy your time as a daddy. Music will always be with you.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Reelin´ man
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Congratulations to Alasdair and congratulations in advance to Llig.
We have a 3 1/2 month old (and two others). Sometimes I think my wife would rather have me at a session than in the next room practicing. At least that's what I try to convince her.
You won't be missing much when the baby gets on a regular sleeping schedule, if s/he hasn't already.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Kheelch
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
I have had 4 children since playing music at sessions. I used to bring my first daughter to a Sunday afternoon session in a very friendly pub when she would sleep in an infant carrier. If this works for you, it would be a nice little break for your spouse.
Rob
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by mellow_bellows
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
A few years ago, one of our fiddlers played in the session on Sunday, gave birth to her third child on Wednesday, and played again on Sunday. She took a little more time off for the fourth, but not much.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by GaryAMartin
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Congratulations to you and the missus, Alasdair. And to you and yours as well, Michael.
About fifteen months ago I came home from my weekly session to a wife who announced she was in labor. Our little girl was born near dawn. I think I missed only one session, the one the next week. But then, I am married to an angel. I don't have the time to practice as much at home, but when I do it's wonderful, our lttle girl is drawn to music.
There's a popular book by Tracey Hogg called "The Baby Whisperer" that has some useful advice on getting a baby (and the parents) on a schedule that provides needed structure for the infant and even some free time for the adults so they can recharge. You might want to give it a look if you get the chance. It helped us a lot.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by fidkid
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
It's not so bad. If you've an understanding parter, it makes all the difference. And the bonus, when they get older, they may start developing an interest. My eldest daughter, now six, works studiously at her piano lessons in hopes I'll buy her a banjo and a fiddle, and my eldest boy, now four, has a toy accordion and obsesses over the real ones. The other two just love bouncing to the music.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by TaoCat
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
"I have had 4 children since playing music at sessions".
Damn!! Is THAT what causes it? Who knew?
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by oldstrings
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
One of my solutions to that problem Alasdair was to simply marry a musician, so the music never ever stopped for us, but instead of the pub every week, when he was very young, we just used to get a bunch of musicians over for the weekend & as often as possible in between.
I remember our son used a bouncy chair to just bounce his way from one side of the kitchen to the other, as the music tore on, then someone would turn him round & he'd bounce his way back over again!
Music was a part of our lives & it made no sense to stop it just because we had a baby. In any case we wanted music to be a part of his life too!
Incidentally, he's 24 now, has an Hons degree in music & is a pro jazz musician. He's actually gigging at the Isle of Wight Jazz thingy this weekend!
So I'd recommend you keep music around you & around the new babby too Alasdair. Of course, handled properly, music can have a very soothing effect on a young child. Good Luck
P.S. One thing worries me though Alasdair. You refer to the baby as *it*, which makes me wonder if perhaps you've never changed *its* nappy yet, so don't actually know what sex *it* is, yet!
Come on sir, get yer sleeves rolled up, get that clothes peg on yer nose & get tore in there! It's really not that bad, after the first time!
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Ptarmigan
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Thanks for all those rays of hope - I have had just a broken nights sleep although the Mrs would no doubt have much better right to claim this due to current feeding arrangements. I am just downstairs having a five minute breakfast before returning to the wee bundle who has only just now popped back to sleep.
I know things will chanage - have been looking forward to it actuay but do wander how actually my playing will develop. What is clear (as with children and parents) is that it is different for everyone and dependant on that wee baby and SO. My SO doesn't play but is supportive of me doing so as long as the obsession is kept under control - as my other vices have dimininshed since getting together I think she allows me this one to keep me sane and happy at home.
Think perhaps therefore its like good music - getting the balance right - and while its balanced in a cedrtain way currently a wee bit of re-setting and re-tuning when the time is right should do the trick.
Cheers for the good wishes everyone
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Alasdair
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Huge congratulations, Alasdair!
I've been a father for 3 and a half months now and am managing to get to sessions a couple of times a month. I have a very understanding wife, but we have an arrangement where she goes to bellydancing classes most weeks and in return I get to go to sessions occasionally. The time off helps keep us both sane.
We actually both took the wee lassie along to an afternoon session last weekend -- she enjoyed being bounced around to the tunes. We're really looking forward to the no smoking law coming in in July so we can take her along more often with a clear conscience.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by robharper
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Absolutely - roll on the smoking ban. We were in Wales a week ago and it's brilliant that you can go to pubs and actually not come home smelling like an ashtray courtesy of other people's smoke. Typical that England comes round to it way later than anyone else.
Enjoy being a daddy - I have three children and wouldn't have missed it for the world. You don't mention if your partner plays, but we did a lot of playing together before we had children (in both senses!) but having children definitely limits the opportunity to BOTH go out and take part in a pub session - perhaps twice a year now instead of twice a month. However, it shouldn't stop one of you going out.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Mark Harmer
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Congratulations to you both, Alasdair, and hope to see you at the BHT soon (1, 2 or all 3 of you!).
Max
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by maxF
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Fidkid, the Secrets of the Babywhisperer is a brilliant book. I had it for my second baby and wished I'd heard of it in time for my first.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by bowburner
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Expect eighteen years to just disappear. You'll look at your hulking brute of a son or beautiful siren of a daughter and think, "Eighteen years ago we had a baby - where did the time go?"
If you know more tunes than you did when they first arrived to steal your life, that means you managed to get to a few sessions along the way ....
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Ottery
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Congrats, and like Ottery said, the years will fly by, and the next thing you know you will be a proud grandpa like me with plenty of time to go to the pub and play!
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by AlBrown
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
It's allright for mothers. Having spent the whole day at home with the baby, they've automatically earned their evening out. Fathers, on the other hand, having spent the day out at the office or the factory, are then duty bound to spend the evening in. }
~
The only offspring I have spawned thus far is a mandolin which, despite being a mere 5 years old, always accompanies me to sessions.
Congratulations, Alasdair. Boy or Girl? From my experience of other people's children, I think the vast majority of children are stimulated by music. So, keep playing to him/her. It might be a few years before you have a playing partner, but you're guaranteed a receptive audience.
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by ragaman
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
think she should be down for the night now - my wee girl that is - just snatching a quick look on line here - will buy that book mentioned and yes I reckon children and music will go well together so am hoping for some rewards in years to come without being hopeful of anything in particular - just plan to have music around -
while I haven't been to a session for a while I have been listening to a lot more music around the house which has been great - and hopefully won't be too long before an hour or two at the Blythe - I know some of the others have wee'uns but everyone's set up is different so as my little girl gets into a routine I hope I can too that includes a tune and a Guiness
thanks again everyone for your thougts
# Posted on April 13th 2007 by Alasdair
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Hiya Big Al. And big big Congratulations. To yersell, the Mrs and the wean. Sorry to have missed this one as I've been away in Suffolk.
I can't really add much to the good advice given above - but you mentioned the Blythe. Just think how many of the regular attendees are parents - Max, Aidan, me, Gordon, to mention but a few. Oor Fergus is 4 and a half now, but I still managed to get out quite soon after his arrival. The thing to do is to ensure Herself gets out at least one night a week with her mates, so you can get out to the BHT (or wherever) on *your* night.
So yes, there IS Life after Birth.
# Posted on April 15th 2007 by Alf Tupper
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Actually, mainly, the time will fly by, and suddenly the sprogs are at Uni and you have time on your hands again.
A last tip for new parents - keep the kids on the mother rather than the bottle for as long as reasonable; they don't pong half as badly, and it's all organic from the mother. On the other hand, if they can walk to their meals it's time to stop..........( shades of Little Britain )..
# Posted on April 16th 2007 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Will I ever go to a sesion again?
Ha ha ha! Speaks the man! It also means that if the Mummy goes out she has to take the baby with her, leaving her darling husband with a nice peaceful night in! It also means that only Mummy can do the night feeds. I'm all in favour of making sure the baby knows how to take a bottle occasionally so the mother can have some time out although mother is always best for the majority of feeds when possible.
# Posted on April 16th 2007 by bowburner