I get up to go to the bar for a drink and some @$$&*&*^ has not only taken my seat but has settled himself nicely and taken out his instrument. OK, so he is a marginally better player and more charming (you can tell by the way the girls gravitate toward him) but that’s my seat. I was on time, not him. I’m a regular, not him.
How do I get my seat back and not look a prat?
Perhaps you could say - "Excuse me, sorry mate but I was sitting there. I've just been up at the bar. Can I get you a pint, while you find another seat?"
That's very good Ptarmigan but does that mean that I am PAYING some guy to get off MY seat?
I suppose it's a small price to pay in order to look less like a prat.
Anyone have any more suggestions?
Look on the bright side gtag, for the cost of a pint you get your seat back, a new friend who plays a little better than you (your words not mine) & with any luck you'll get a crack at some of those girls that you say are fawning all over him - sounds like a win win situation to me!
I think you'd be quite right to speak as Ptarmy suggests, minus the offer of a pint (unless you really want to make it). It's one of those situations where it's possible to feel a prat without being one at all.
Oh, that’s a difficult one. If you buy the pint, he/she may just taste the beer and then leave with the girls. If you’re concerned about approaching this person. I’d be happy to go and say, ‘Hey, isn’t that gtags seat ?’ -Assuming that this is how the group has agreed to behave. If he puts you in a difficult situation, it may be that you could gently help him with his social skills. He’d probably appreciate it.
Well, gtag is pronounced gee and tag as in bag but you do know that it’s not my real name don’t you Ptarmigan? By the way this nom de plume has deep and significant meaning to me and is sooo top secret and if I told you I’d have to kill you.
As for my homeless, seat grabbing, gregarious, charming, girl magnate…I buy him a pint as suggested, right, and he stays put! He seems oblivious to the fact that he’s put my nose out of joint and the other musicians are equally ignorant of my dilemma. I’m still trying to hang on to some dignity here, I still want to play in the session and I want MY seat back. What do I do?
It would be best to just leave a sweater or instrument case or something of yours on the chair in the future and just let it go. There are people with no manners in the world, so mark your territory loud and clear! I'd even ask your neighbor to make sure to hold your seat for a few minutes and offer to get THEM a drink. That way they will for sure hold your seat.
Good point iris, I always leave my fiddle either on the seat (can be risky!), or on the table in front of my seat, or on a stand by my chair, plus, I often have my jumper draped over the back of the chair.
Try that next time gtag, or you could just lift your leg & p*ss on one of the chair legs .......... well it works for my dog ...... & I'm sure nobody would want to sit on that chair after you've 'made your mark'!
P.S. Hey gtag, you do know that Ptarmigan 'is' my real name , don't you?
....... pssssst, nobody tell gtag that we're only half way through the Grouse shooting season, I don't like that glint in his eye!
Irisnevins is so wise. Leaving an instrument case, bag, sweater USUALLU works but I have seen them being moved….ever so carefully…. out of the way while a miscreant plonks himself down and takes over. Yep, some people have no manners. Hind sight is 50/50 or is that 20/20 so I’m still stuck with my homeless, ignorant, seat grabbing, gregarious, charming, girl magnate belting out the tunes on MY seat.
Anyone have any really smart, funny remark that can be addressed to one and all to point out my dilemma and get MY SEAT back? Actually a really smart, funny remark to suit the situation and redeem my wounded pride would do, if he wants MY SEAT so bad he can have it. Humph!
Any suggestions?
P.S. Grouse. Grouse. It's grouse season, why didn't someone tell me?
Your dog has the right idea, I must get me one of them 4 legged critters to mind me seat in future. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr/
And so how do you pronounce YOUR name Mr Ptarmigan (Lagopus Mutus Millaisi) - and what the heck does it mean?
How do you pronounce my name gtag, well, that brings us back to P - & in fact, you just leave out the P - which is probably the best idea when it comes to session seats. AQfter all, the smell round some of those session tables is bad enough already.
.......... What?
...... Why is everyone looking at me like that?
As for meaning, it's actually Gaelic for - 'nearly as good a musician as Bliss'
How about something like, "Has anybody seen my chair? I can't seem to find it. I think I might have left it here by accident when I went to the bar for a drink. Maybe I should cut down on the beer - it seems to be destroying my memory."
gtag, you could always go back to your seat with a cloth in your hand & explain to him that you'd just gone to the bar to get a cloth to wipe the DIARRHEA off 'that' seat before you sat on it!
Where were the other regulars when this happened? If someone gets up for a pint or whatever at our session, and someone else comes and sits in their chair, one of us will usually say, "I think so & so is sitting there." Then they will find another seat or say, "I'll get up when he (or she) gets back." Then when the person gets back the seat-taker usually vacates the seat. On occasion, when I've gone for a pint and my seat has been taken, I’ll return and the person who sat down will start to get up and I have the option to say, "Go ahead... I'm ok." and I'll take another seat. (if available) I will do this if it seems like a good idea, or if the available seat looks better. In your case, gtag, it might be next to one of his admirers... you never know... could work to your advantage.
This reminds me of something else. We had a piper that would play for a bit and then leave his pipes in his seat and disappear for hours. New arrivals would come along looking for a seat and would see the pipes and not even think of sitting there. The rest of us got tired of seeing the pipes in an otherwise empty seat and decided to take action. Someone came up with the idea of writing out a parking citation. The fine was buying a round for everyone at the table. That took care of that... *hic*
Well, Phantom Button that’s all very polite and civil and all that. I kinda know what I should do, session etiquette, decorum etc but I’d love a shmart, witty comment fitting to the occasion.
Well gtag, you could try - Excuse me but I'm afraid your sitting in my seat & please don't p*ss me off, cause I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
Well, diarrhoea and piddling is fine but lacks a touch of class and artistic drama in my humble opinion... so why not just stand over him and enter into an outrageous coughing fit (make sure your face goes read and your eyes kinda start popping) and tell him you have a contagious disease (just watch ER and the likes and pick out one of those big fancy names)... I'm sure he'll be a real gentleman and graciously step aside to let you have your seat back but the benefits don't stop there because you will also get a choice of many more seats around you
PS It does work.... tried in when being jostled in a chockablock train compartment when travelling Europe, so why should it not work for a session
gtag - a ptarmigan is a funny little bird like a small grey grouse that hangs around in flocks high up on some Scottish mountainsides - brings back memories of seeing some on Ben Lawers as a boy. (Perhaps they inspired the leg-pull that the haggis is a wee beastie that runs round hillsides...) - And I gather the P at the beginning was a c17 add-on to the Gaelic word, to make it imitate Ancient Greek where "pt" is a common combination: this I suppose was done by natural historians who looked up to Greek as a language of classification. I don't know if it's generally pronounced but the implication is it needn't be.
Ah, now there's an idea for Vanessa, nicholas, - instead of the coughing fit, she could just stand over her man & start trying to pronounce Ptarmigan, over & over again, but spitting out the p very forcefully each time - along with lots of dribbling saliva!
This would henceforth become known as the 'Ptarmigan Method', amongst sessioneers. (fame at last! )
Mind you, I'd say the offending seat stealer would willingly give up his seat for a gorgeous woman like yourself Vanessa, it's just ugly eejits like gtag & meself who are forced to think of more devious methods for evicting the squatter!
hi, ptarm.... yeah, that crossed my mind that the bodily excretion thingie was a male territorial kinda thing... us ladys prefer the more subtle approach and if that doesn't work we resort to marshall arts
oh, so that's you... always wondered what the big mighty PTARMY, the alpha male roaming the thickets of the mustard board, looks like: good teeth, hairy and a little shiny on top
Back to the "shmart, witty comment fitting to the occasion" dept. How about, "Excuse me, would you please get out of that seat?... I wasn't holding it for you, I was holding it for... (enter name of famous musician of choice here.)
In France, I learned to spit and belch on command so that the high school boys would stop trying to pull us into their cars. I was younger then. I find that being disgusting is a great way to move people. But in a pub, it's a little different, unless you can blame it on being drunk.
I would just go sit on him, and then say nothing whatsoever. When he complains, I would say, "Oh, you weren't part of the chair before I went to the bar? I thought it felt a little different!" But I always carry loads of stuff to leave on a chair.
Ok, offer him a pint, no make it two pints- of cheap whiskey, go back to the bar for chat, then saunter back to YOUR seat, gtag and help him to sit down on the floor where you assure him he'll feel more comfortable.
But why didn't someone throw something at him as he was closing in? What kind of session do you play at, gtag?
“a ptarmigan is a funny little bird like a small grey grouse that hangs around in flocks high up on some Scottish mountainsides” Grouse? Did you mention grouse? Now just where did I leave that shotgun?
Scrappy the Godo – somehow your name suits you.
S’funny, cough, splutter, cough, dribble, I seem to have developed a sudden case of something obnoxious.
Sitting on a guys lap may work for girls but I don’t think I’ll be trying it anytime soon.
Gee French high school sounds rough but fair dues you survived nicely Meri-pixie.
And TaoCat – of course he knew it was MY seat. We’re all psychic here but you knew I was going to say that.
Cheap whiskey – that’s an oxymoron in this neck of the woods which brings me back to grouse.
That cat better watch out for the dog. http://loop.smorgasblog.com/archives/2006/01/its_the_little.html
Thanks guys there are some great suggestions so far.
Is there any lurker out there with some suggestions? Common ye lurking lads and ladies I KNOW you’re out there.
I've actually done this, but, frankly, i wouldn't recommend it, don't know how I got away with it ... I went and stood right over the miscreant ... about an inch away ... and said nothing. He left. Trouble is, I found the adrenaline meant I couldn't play so well afterwards ...
Tell him to **** off, who does he think he is? I don't care who or what or how good or famous or better or smart or big a wallet or if he drives a BMW or etc etc . . same happened to me a few weeks ago . This bloke reckoned I'd pinched his seat but I new for sure I hadn;t , and then later I heard him play , and he was crap , and not nearly as good as me, so there . . .
To echo PB, at one of the sessions I play at it's pretty much always over-crowded and there are never enough seats. The fact that the place is packed full of musicians, some playing and some not means that frequently people will vacate a seat with the intent of chatting for a bit and having a pint or two. To me, it's hardly fair that when they return half an hour or 45 minutes later to expect that seat to still be free for them. I'd ask if anyone was sitting there and if they're coming back shortly, and if they aren't I'd take the seat. But at another session I'd be mighty miffed if someone took my seat, it depends what type of session it is.
Grouse? Isn't that what gtag is doing?
Not wishing to hijack, but the title is too close:
What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepherd?
The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get offa my cloud", and a Scottish shepherd says "Hey, McLeod, get offa my ewe!"
.........sorry, sorry, couldn't help myself
Ptarmigan, I've actually told that haggis as a short left-legged wee beastie story to several gullible Americans over the years, and they fall for it every time. Truly! The key is telling it without a trace of a smile on your face, or they'll know you're taking the p***.
Gtag, how about using the situation as an opportunity to make a new friend? Something like, "hey, thanks for saving my seat for me, I was worried someone was going to steal the chair and it wouldn't be here when I got back. By the way, I'm Gtag, nice to meet you...etc...." I don't know, maybe this is more of an American in-your-face friendly kind of approach that wouldn't fly on the other side of the Atlantic, but I could see it working here. It would have to fit your personality, of course.
This man I know who's a bit like a really angry Taocat and a slightly angry Mr. Bliss told me this one to say. I don’t know what it means, and I don’t care, except that it sounds flash. You walk straight up to him and tell him that this didn’t happen. But you have to be convincing. You wait for the girls to turn to him and say ‘why, what does he mean, Antoine-Pierre ?’ Then you tell him again, a bit more forcefully this time. ‘It didn’t happen… but it IS happening, so stop it right now’.
Gtag . . just got your comments I didn't shift because he was out of order, I knew he had no right to my seat. It may have turned a bit nasty , luckily it didn't . . lucky for him I mean . .
How about get there a little early and make sure you've got a good seat then order a beer,leave it right in front of your seat, drape a jacket over the back and put your instrument case on the chair? foolproof.
How about:"Excuse me, you're in my chair". Answer: "I'm sorry, I didn't realise, I'll go find another one" No need for anyone to look silly. It's called basic manners and comunication. Sitting there fuming because someone doesn't have ESP is so pointless and stupid.
Hey! Get off my seat!
Hey! Get off my seat!
I get up to go to the bar for a drink and some @$$&*&*^ has not only taken my seat but has settled himself nicely and taken out his instrument. OK, so he is a marginally better player and more charming (you can tell by the way the girls gravitate toward him) but that’s my seat. I was on time, not him. I’m a regular, not him.
How do I get my seat back and not look a prat?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Perhaps you could say - "Excuse me, sorry mate but I was sitting there. I've just been up at the bar. Can I get you a pint, while you find another seat?"
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
That's very good Ptarmigan but does that mean that I am PAYING some guy to get off MY seat?
I suppose it's a small price to pay in order to look less like a prat.
Anyone have any more suggestions?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Look on the bright side gtag, for the cost of a pint you get your seat back, a new friend who plays a little better than you (your words not mine) & with any luck you'll get a crack at some of those girls that you say are fawning all over him - sounds like a win win situation to me!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
I think you'd be quite right to speak as Ptarmy suggests, minus the offer of a pint (unless you really want to make it). It's one of those situations where it's possible to feel a prat without being one at all.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by nicholas
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Oh, that’s a difficult one. If you buy the pint, he/she may just taste the beer and then leave with the girls. If you’re concerned about approaching this person. I’d be happy to go and say, ‘Hey, isn’t that gtags seat ?’ -Assuming that this is how the group has agreed to behave. If he puts you in a difficult situation, it may be that you could gently help him with his social skills. He’d probably appreciate it.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Gilbey
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
If he's still there once you get back to the pub after getting all this online advice, maybe he's homeless.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ger the Rigger
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Ah but Gilby, could you really say - "Hey, isn’t that gtags seat ?" without looking a bit of a prat yourself?
I mean, how do you pronounce 'gtag' anyway?
What does it stand for?
...... or perhaps it's best if we don't know?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Well, gtag is pronounced gee and tag as in bag but you do know that it’s not my real name don’t you Ptarmigan?
By the way this nom de plume has deep and significant meaning to me and is sooo top secret and if I told you I’d have to kill you.
As for my homeless, seat grabbing, gregarious, charming, girl magnate…I buy him a pint as suggested, right, and he stays put! He seems oblivious to the fact that he’s put my nose out of joint and the other musicians are equally ignorant of my dilemma. I’m still trying to hang on to some dignity here, I still want to play in the session and I want MY seat back. What do I do?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
It would be best to just leave a sweater or instrument case or something of yours on the chair in the future and just let it go. There are people with no manners in the world, so mark your territory loud and clear! I'd even ask your neighbor to make sure to hold your seat for a few minutes and offer to get THEM a drink. That way they will for sure hold your seat.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by irisnevins
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Good point iris, I always leave my fiddle either on the seat (can be risky!), or on the table in front of my seat, or on a stand by my chair, plus, I often have my jumper draped over the back of the chair.
Try that next time gtag, or you could just lift your leg & p*ss on one of the chair legs .......... well it works for my dog ...... & I'm sure nobody would want to sit on that chair after you've 'made your mark'!
P.S. Hey gtag, you do know that Ptarmigan 'is' my real name , don't you?
....... pssssst, nobody tell gtag that we're only half way through the Grouse shooting season, I don't like that glint in his eye!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Irisnevins is so wise. Leaving an instrument case, bag, sweater USUALLU works but I have seen them being moved….ever so carefully…. out of the way while a miscreant plonks himself down and takes over. Yep, some people have no manners. Hind sight is 50/50 or is that 20/20 so I’m still stuck with my homeless, ignorant, seat grabbing, gregarious, charming, girl magnate belting out the tunes on MY seat.
Anyone have any really smart, funny remark that can be addressed to one and all to point out my dilemma and get MY SEAT back? Actually a really smart, funny remark to suit the situation and redeem my wounded pride would do, if he wants MY SEAT so bad he can have it. Humph!
Any suggestions?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
P.S. Grouse. Grouse. It's grouse season, why didn't someone tell me?
Your dog has the right idea, I must get me one of them 4 legged critters to mind me seat in future. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr/
And so how do you pronounce YOUR name Mr Ptarmigan (Lagopus Mutus Millaisi) - and what the heck does it mean?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
How do you pronounce my name gtag, well, that brings us back to P - & in fact, you just leave out the P - which is probably the best idea when it comes to session seats. AQfter all, the smell round some of those session tables is bad enough already.
.......... What?
...... Why is everyone looking at me like that?
As for meaning, it's actually Gaelic for - 'nearly as good a musician as Bliss'
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
How about something like, "Has anybody seen my chair? I can't seem to find it. I think I might have left it here by accident when I went to the bar for a drink. Maybe I should cut down on the beer - it seems to be destroying my memory."
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by GaryAMartin
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Hey gtag, I've found that dog you were looking for:
http://loop.smorgasblog.com/archives/2006/01/its_the_little.html
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
gtag, you could always go back to your seat with a cloth in your hand & explain to him that you'd just gone to the bar to get a cloth to wipe the DIARRHEA off 'that' seat before you sat on it!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Good start GaryAMArtin, anyone else out there have a smart remark that I could use?
'tarmigan (nearly as good a musician as Bliss) that is the perfect dog. Nice find.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Where were the other regulars when this happened? If someone gets up for a pint or whatever at our session, and someone else comes and sits in their chair, one of us will usually say, "I think so & so is sitting there." Then they will find another seat or say, "I'll get up when he (or she) gets back." Then when the person gets back the seat-taker usually vacates the seat. On occasion, when I've gone for a pint and my seat has been taken, I’ll return and the person who sat down will start to get up and I have the option to say, "Go ahead... I'm ok." and I'll take another seat. (if available) I will do this if it seems like a good idea, or if the available seat looks better. In your case, gtag, it might be next to one of his admirers... you never know... could work to your advantage.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Sorry crossed post there. You're stealing the show 'tarmigan. That diarrhea comment is brilliant :D
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
This reminds me of something else. We had a piper that would play for a bit and then leave his pipes in his seat and disappear for hours. New arrivals would come along looking for a seat and would see the pipes and not even think of sitting there. The rest of us got tired of seeing the pipes in an otherwise empty seat and decided to take action. Someone came up with the idea of writing out a parking citation. The fine was buying a round for everyone at the table. That took care of that... *hic*
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Well, Phantom Button that’s all very polite and civil and all that. I kinda know what I should do, session etiquette, decorum etc but I’d love a shmart, witty comment fitting to the occasion.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Would you jump in my feckin grave as fast?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by geoffwright
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Well gtag, you could try - Excuse me but I'm afraid your sitting in my seat & please don't p*ss me off, cause I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Ok... tell him that the barman says some girl wants him on the phone.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Aye, ... or warn him his wife has just been seen parking her car by the front door - & then watch him disappear!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Well, diarrhoea and piddling is fine but lacks a touch of class and artistic drama in my humble opinion... so why not just stand over him and enter into an outrageous coughing fit (make sure your face goes read and your eyes kinda start popping) and tell him you have a contagious disease (just watch ER and the likes and pick out one of those big fancy names)... I'm sure he'll be a real gentleman and graciously step aside to let you have your seat back but the benefits don't stop there because you will also get a choice of many more seats around you
PS It does work.... tried in when being jostled in a chockablock train compartment when travelling Europe, so why should it not work for a session
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by vanessa
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
gtag - a ptarmigan is a funny little bird like a small grey grouse that hangs around in flocks high up on some Scottish mountainsides - brings back memories of seeing some on Ben Lawers as a boy. (Perhaps they inspired the leg-pull that the haggis is a wee beastie that runs round hillsides...) - And I gather the P at the beginning was a c17 add-on to the Gaelic word, to make it imitate Ancient Greek where "pt" is a common combination: this I suppose was done by natural historians who looked up to Greek as a language of classification. I don't know if it's generally pronounced but the implication is it needn't be.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by nicholas
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Ah, now there's an idea for Vanessa, nicholas, - instead of the coughing fit, she could just stand over her man & start trying to pronounce Ptarmigan, over & over again, but spitting out the p very forcefully each time - along with lots of dribbling saliva!
)
This would henceforth become known as the 'Ptarmigan Method', amongst sessioneers. (fame at last!
Mind you, I'd say the offending seat stealer would willingly give up his seat for a gorgeous woman like yourself Vanessa, it's just ugly eejits like gtag & meself who are forced to think of more devious methods for evicting the squatter!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
haggis? is that a grimacing hairy troll?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by vanessa
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Now now Vanessa, that's no way to speak about Paul!
http://www.amazon.com/Dialogue-Interview-Screenwriter-Paul-Haggis/dp/images/B000GET1BE
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
hi, ptarm.... yeah, that crossed my mind that the bodily excretion thingie was a male territorial kinda thing
... us ladys prefer the more subtle approach and if that doesn't work we resort to marshall arts
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by vanessa
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
oh, so that's you... always wondered what the big mighty PTARMY, the alpha male roaming the thickets of the mustard board, looks like: good teeth, hairy and a little shiny on top
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by vanessa
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Back to the "shmart, witty comment fitting to the occasion" dept. How about, "Excuse me, would you please get out of that seat?... I wasn't holding it for you, I was holding it for... (enter name of famous musician of choice here.)
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
i know what i'd do. i ask him to move politely and if he doesn't get the message smack round the chops!
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Scrappy the Godo
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
In France, I learned to spit and belch on command so that the high school boys would stop trying to pull us into their cars. I was younger then. I find that being disgusting is a great way to move people. But in a pub, it's a little different, unless you can blame it on being drunk.
I would just go sit on him, and then say nothing whatsoever. When he complains, I would say, "Oh, you weren't part of the chair before I went to the bar? I thought it felt a little different!" But I always carry loads of stuff to leave on a chair.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Meri-pixie
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Just a dumb question...but did he KNOW you were sitting there, or did it look like an empty spot..?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by TaoCat
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Ok, offer him a pint, no make it two pints- of cheap whiskey, go back to the bar for chat, then saunter back to YOUR seat, gtag and help him to sit down on the floor where you assure him he'll feel more comfortable.
But why didn't someone throw something at him as he was closing in? What kind of session do you play at, gtag?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Gilbey
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
"Why is your cat staring at me like that?"
"You're sitting in his seat."
Interloper moves, cat takes his usual seat. True story.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by John Galt
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
“a ptarmigan is a funny little bird like a small grey grouse that hangs around in flocks high up on some Scottish mountainsides” Grouse? Did you mention grouse? Now just where did I leave that shotgun?
Scrappy the Godo – somehow your name suits you.
S’funny, cough, splutter, cough, dribble, I seem to have developed a sudden case of something obnoxious.
Sitting on a guys lap may work for girls but I don’t think I’ll be trying it anytime soon.
Gee French high school sounds rough but fair dues you survived nicely Meri-pixie.
And TaoCat – of course he knew it was MY seat. We’re all psychic here but you knew I was going to say that.
Cheap whiskey – that’s an oxymoron in this neck of the woods which brings me back to grouse.
That cat better watch out for the dog. http://loop.smorgasblog.com/archives/2006/01/its_the_little.html
Thanks guys there are some great suggestions so far.
Is there any lurker out there with some suggestions? Common ye lurking lads and ladies I KNOW you’re out there.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
I've actually done this, but, frankly, i wouldn't recommend it, don't know how I got away with it ... I went and stood right over the miscreant ... about an inch away ... and said nothing. He left. Trouble is, I found the adrenaline meant I couldn't play so well afterwards ...
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by ethical blend
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
"offer him a pint, no make it two pints - of cheap whiskey"
Aye, but don't give him any of the 'good Whisky' - i.e. the stuff without the e's [Scotch!]
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
What happened to asking the other players, "Is anyone sitting here?" when you approach an empty seat at a session?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Do not go overboard, Ptar. "Nearly as good a musician as Bliss".
Now, is that nearly right?
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by bodhran bliss
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Ah, there you are Bliss! Well, did you manage to resist the temptation to batter the goat at the weekend?
Aye, we must have a go at 'Duelling Mandolins', next time your up in Tom's, that'll decide who's top dog!
I notice you didn't answer my 'Outrage!!!' question on the video yet, Bliss! .......tsk tsk: http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display/11400
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
'Gilby' tarmageddon? You can keep the 'e', but I like to use the 'y' a lot, and the 'i' too, and the 'b'. As for the 'l' -good luck to you : )
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Gilbey
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
You could stand.
# Posted on October 8th 2006 by Joe CSS
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Tell him to **** off, who does he think he is? I don't care who or what or how good or famous or better or smart or big a wallet or if he drives a BMW or etc etc . . same happened to me a few weeks ago . This bloke reckoned I'd pinched his seat but I new for sure I hadn;t , and then later I heard him play , and he was crap , and not nearly as good as me, so there . . .
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
aagh !
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
So stewpot, what did he say to you to move you off your seat?
Maybe I could use his line.
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by gtag
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
To echo PB, at one of the sessions I play at it's pretty much always over-crowded and there are never enough seats. The fact that the place is packed full of musicians, some playing and some not means that frequently people will vacate a seat with the intent of chatting for a bit and having a pint or two. To me, it's hardly fair that when they return half an hour or 45 minutes later to expect that seat to still be free for them. I'd ask if anyone was sitting there and if they're coming back shortly, and if they aren't I'd take the seat. But at another session I'd be mighty miffed if someone took my seat, it depends what type of session it is.
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by Andy V
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Grouse? Isn't that what gtag is doing?
Not wishing to hijack, but the title is too close:
What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepherd?
The Rolling Stones say "Hey, you, get offa my cloud", and a Scottish shepherd says "Hey, McLeod, get offa my ewe!"
.........sorry, sorry, couldn't help myself
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by oldstrings
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Ptarmigan, I've actually told that haggis as a short left-legged wee beastie story to several gullible Americans over the years, and they fall for it every time. Truly! The key is telling it without a trace of a smile on your face, or they'll know you're taking the p***.
Gtag, how about using the situation as an opportunity to make a new friend? Something like, "hey, thanks for saving my seat for me, I was worried someone was going to steal the chair and it wouldn't be here when I got back. By the way, I'm Gtag, nice to meet you...etc...." I don't know, maybe this is more of an American in-your-face friendly kind of approach that wouldn't fly on the other side of the Atlantic, but I could see it working here. It would have to fit your personality, of course.
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by kennedy
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
This man I know who's a bit like a really angry Taocat and a slightly angry Mr. Bliss told me this one to say. I don’t know what it means, and I don’t care, except that it sounds flash. You walk straight up to him and tell him that this didn’t happen. But you have to be convincing. You wait for the girls to turn to him and say ‘why, what does he mean, Antoine-Pierre ?’ Then you tell him again, a bit more forcefully this time. ‘It didn’t happen… but it IS happening, so stop it right now’.
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by Gilbey
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
Gtag . . just got your comments I didn't shift because he was out of order, I knew he had no right to my seat. It may have turned a bit nasty , luckily it didn't . . lucky for him I mean . .
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
How about get there a little early and make sure you've got a good seat then order a beer,leave it right in front of your seat, drape a jacket over the back and put your instrument case on the chair? foolproof.
# Posted on October 9th 2006 by BE
Re: Hey! Get off my seat!
How about:"Excuse me, you're in my chair". Answer: "I'm sorry, I didn't realise, I'll go find another one" No need for anyone to look silly. It's called basic manners and comunication. Sitting there fuming because someone doesn't have ESP is so pointless and stupid.
# Posted on October 10th 2006 by woops