One week ago I went to a local session for the first time. Normally, there aren't any in my area, but every Thursday night in the summer there is one in a nearby park. Last week was great! I'm terribly shy, but everyone was very welcoming and things went well, besides the fact that they mainly played bluegrass. They weren't opposed to playing Irish music when I requested it, though.
Here's the problem: I'm a bit afraid to go back. Sure, they were nice the first time, but what about the second? The session leader did tell me to come back... was he just being kind or did he mean it?
Has anyone else had this problem? Or am I just paranoid? Do I grit my teeth and go despite my fears? I'm not sure I can take another evening in front of the television.
I'm pretty shy as well, and thin-skinned to boot. I have really had to force myself to go out to sessions, and to start tunes occassionally. I've been going to sessions now maybe close to 3 years, and it's just reaching a point where I can really enjoy myself. Sometimes I will tell myself, well, if I use the amount of time I spend at this session, and stay home and practice instead, just think of the new tunes I could learn, etc. This is wrong, because listening to the local tunes at the session, rather than to recordings, is a far better way to learn the music. It's a long term investment, because eventually those tunes find their way to your hands.
If you were invited back, that's great. I can't imagine anyone would extend that kind of invitation without meaning it. It gets easier the longer you do it, and expecially as you get to know folks, etc. It's hard at first, but the rewards are great, so keep getting yourself out there, and put the tele in the closet.
Please keep going, TJ, you have no idea how much it means to have enthusiastic newcomers, especially with a quiet demeanor and an earnest desire to play the music. And if you keep going regularly, guess what - ? You become a regular! And Keith is spot on when he suggests that there’s no better way to really learn the music than by playing with other people. Woodshedding can take you only so far.
And an oddly comforting thought for the self-conscious: you’ll be less worried about what people think of you when you realise how seldom they do.
Go, go, go.
You know you really want to.
There aren't offers like that every day.
We always try to encourage any new musicians at the sessions, because we all started that way too. I remember being so pleased when I first went to our local session about four years ago, and felt I could join in with maybe 25 - 30% of the evening, and it's a lot easier as an accompaniest as well as a melody-line player. No two nights are the same, but I can look back and see how I've improved over the years, actually playing the majority of the tunes now.
Go for it. Seize the moment.
It is now several years since I went to my first Irish Traditional Music session. After it I wasn't sure whether to go back the following week, or not.
Unfortunately I made the wrong decision and went back.
I very quickly became addicted to sessions and they took over my life. To the point that now the rest of my life is dry empty and meaningless and the only real pleasure I get in life is by going out to the session and playing my guts out. there is a website called the session where I frequently lurk and VERY occasionally post, but this merely a substitute for my real passion, playing The Music.
From my initial state of reticence and paranoia, I have now become obsessive and compelled to go out to sessions.
Can I break this habit, and is it in fact something that I should consider as an obsession?
If I were you, I’d catch a fvckin grip and stop whinging. As for paranoia, mania and obsessive compulsion, your’re talking a load of keech. Every normal person in the world gets these feelings from time to time, just that you choose to make some kinda big deal out of it. Just play the goddamm music out at sashes and stop navel gazing, I’ve heard just about enough of it. You’d think I was some kind of agony uncle the way you drone on. The fact is I have a PhD in the wave quantum theory of arrogant behaviourism. So just shut the fvck up and get off my case.
Is there a fekin v in fek, damn, you mean I've been spelling it wrong all this time. Lord, I'm dissolute wit orror. Are ye a real dok. I knows this banja player who broke something or other and needs a good physio, can you do that, can yuh? Wit an attitude and bedside manner like tat you'z sure to get im off iz ass... In duh mentime I be recognizin my spell fur fek, so, it's fvk is it, or is it fvck, or am I jus paranode and manixh and obsequeously complusive?
TJ ~ if it's anything other than strung, run... The Cajuns are more accepting of things without strings than the bluegrass fraternity...
The other broad difference, just in case you may have been slightly confused, is between 'old time' and 'bluegrass'. They do play and sing some things in common, but their way with sessioning is considerably different... But whatever they are about, you've an open invitation...
TJ, I know exactly what you mean. About five years ago, I started going to an out-of-the-way "session" -- I use quotation marks because the format is somewhere between a session and an informal performance -- which features excellent musicians, most all of whom play professionally full or part-time. At the time, I was coming off a period of several years when I hadn't played much music, and thus trying to recapture, if not surpass, my past form.
One of the musicians at my first visit happens to be very gregarious and welcoming, and encouraged me to come up and play with them and, later, said I should come back anytime. As it turned out, this guy wasn't at the session all that often, so when I did come I would play with the other two or three regulars, who while by no means unfriendly were nowhere near as outgoing.
The first several times I went, I have to say part of me was very anxious. I mean, these guys were so damn good -- what the hell was I doing there? What if I really really screwed up?
But at the end, I always thanked them for letting me sit in, and they would thank me for coming and invite me back. Like you, I wasn't sure at first if they were just being polite, and that maybe I should leave well enough alone.
What kept me coming back were two things: First, the opportunity to play with excellent musicians was/is just too good to pass up. Second, I reckoned I had to just trust their response to me at face value -- if they really _didn't_ want me there, they would find some way of communicating it more effectively.
In fact, when I encountered these musicians at concerts or other settings outside of the session, they seemed genuinely pleased to see and talk to me, and would ask if I'd been out to the session recently and when I was coming again.
So now, five years later, I feel very accepted and truly know that I am welcome at this session. I correspond pretty regularly with the musician who organizes it and consider him a friend, whom I can ask for advice on music-related matters.
In this forum, it's interesting how often we discuss the "second time around"-type situation from a different point of view: i.e., when one of us is trying to find the right way to tell somebody _not_ to come back. I sometimes wonder if this doesn't overheighten our own sensitivity to session-related interactions: Do we look for hidden messages or strain to hear unspoken words, none of which may even be there?
TJ - I hope you weren't offended or put off by my previous posts. The answer I would give if I were to be serious is: deffo go back. Stick at it. The fact that you are a member here and posted the query means you are very interested in playing The Music. So you owe it to yourself to persist. Good luck with it.
Thanks so much for the encouragement-all of you! I did get up the courage to go back and was so glad I did! The ones who were there last week remembered me and made me feel just as welcome as last time, if not even more welcome!
I picked up on the tunes much faster than last time and the others even forced me into a solo position several different times. That was terrifying, but a lot of fun, too! They told me I did a good job and to come back again. A man and his wife even gave me their phone number so that they can give me names of more jams and festivals around the state.
It really is more of a bluegrass jam than a session, I guess. But they aren't opposed to the Irish music when I want to play it, so that's good!
No more second guessing. Even if I don't feel like it next time, I think I'd better go.
Second time around
Second time around
One week ago I went to a local session for the first time. Normally, there aren't any in my area, but every Thursday night in the summer there is one in a nearby park. Last week was great! I'm terribly shy, but everyone was very welcoming and things went well, besides the fact that they mainly played bluegrass. They weren't opposed to playing Irish music when I requested it, though.
Here's the problem: I'm a bit afraid to go back. Sure, they were nice the first time, but what about the second? The session leader did tell me to come back... was he just being kind or did he mean it?
Has anyone else had this problem? Or am I just paranoid? Do I grit my teeth and go despite my fears? I'm not sure I can take another evening in front of the television.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by TJ
Re: Second time around
Yes, you're being paranoid. Go back. Why are you second guessing??
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by O'Lehane
Re: Second time around
TJ,
I'm pretty shy as well, and thin-skinned to boot. I have really had to force myself to go out to sessions, and to start tunes occassionally. I've been going to sessions now maybe close to 3 years, and it's just reaching a point where I can really enjoy myself. Sometimes I will tell myself, well, if I use the amount of time I spend at this session, and stay home and practice instead, just think of the new tunes I could learn, etc. This is wrong, because listening to the local tunes at the session, rather than to recordings, is a far better way to learn the music. It's a long term investment, because eventually those tunes find their way to your hands.
If you were invited back, that's great. I can't imagine anyone would extend that kind of invitation without meaning it. It gets easier the longer you do it, and expecially as you get to know folks, etc. It's hard at first, but the rewards are great, so keep getting yourself out there, and put the tele in the closet.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by Keith Dubinsky
Re: Second time around
Please keep going, TJ, you have no idea how much it means to have enthusiastic newcomers, especially with a quiet demeanor and an earnest desire to play the music. And if you keep going regularly, guess what - ? You become a regular! And Keith is spot on when he suggests that there’s no better way to really learn the music than by playing with other people. Woodshedding can take you only so far.
And an oddly comforting thought for the self-conscious: you’ll be less worried about what people think of you when you realise how seldom they do.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by fidkid
Re: Second time around
Go, go, go.
You know you really want to.
There aren't offers like that every day.
We always try to encourage any new musicians at the sessions, because we all started that way too. I remember being so pleased when I first went to our local session about four years ago, and felt I could join in with maybe 25 - 30% of the evening, and it's a lot easier as an accompaniest as well as a melody-line player. No two nights are the same, but I can look back and see how I've improved over the years, actually playing the majority of the tunes now.
Go for it. Seize the moment.
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Second time around
If it was mostly bluegrass then I'd say it was probably a bluegrass jam you went to, not a session.
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by Dr. Dow
Re: Second time around
I'd be afraid to go back too!
Sorry, only kidding...
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by Dr. Dow
Re: Second time around
Dear Dr. Key,
It is now several years since I went to my first Irish Traditional Music session. After it I wasn't sure whether to go back the following week, or not.
Unfortunately I made the wrong decision and went back.
I very quickly became addicted to sessions and they took over my life. To the point that now the rest of my life is dry empty and meaningless and the only real pleasure I get in life is by going out to the session and playing my guts out. there is a website called the session where I frequently lurk and VERY occasionally post, but this merely a substitute for my real passion, playing The Music.
From my initial state of reticence and paranoia, I have now become obsessive and compelled to go out to sessions.
Can I break this habit, and is it in fact something that I should consider as an obsession?
Yours compulsively,
Maniac Lad.
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by Rudall the time
Re: Second time around
Dear Maniac Lad,
If I were you, I’d catch a fvckin grip and stop whinging. As for paranoia, mania and obsessive compulsion, your’re talking a load of keech. Every normal person in the world gets these feelings from time to time, just that you choose to make some kinda big deal out of it. Just play the goddamm music out at sashes and stop navel gazing, I’ve heard just about enough of it. You’d think I was some kind of agony uncle the way you drone on. The fact is I have a PhD in the wave quantum theory of arrogant behaviourism. So just shut the fvck up and get off my case.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. Key.
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by Rudall the time
Re: Second time around
Is there a fekin v in fek, damn, you mean I've been spelling it wrong all this time. Lord, I'm dissolute wit orror. Are ye a real dok. I knows this banja player who broke something or other and needs a good physio, can you do that, can yuh? Wit an attitude and bedside manner like tat you'z sure to get im off iz ass... In duh mentime I be recognizin my spell fur fek, so, it's fvk is it, or is it fvck, or am I jus paranode and manixh and obsequeously complusive?
Dr. Key 's it? You Chinese ur some fin?
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Second time around
TJ ~ if it's anything other than strung, run... The Cajuns are more accepting of things without strings than the bluegrass fraternity...
The other broad difference, just in case you may have been slightly confused, is between 'old time' and 'bluegrass'. They do play and sing some things in common, but their way with sessioning is considerably different... But whatever they are about, you've an open invitation...
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Second time around
TJ, I know exactly what you mean. About five years ago, I started going to an out-of-the-way "session" -- I use quotation marks because the format is somewhere between a session and an informal performance -- which features excellent musicians, most all of whom play professionally full or part-time. At the time, I was coming off a period of several years when I hadn't played much music, and thus trying to recapture, if not surpass, my past form.
One of the musicians at my first visit happens to be very gregarious and welcoming, and encouraged me to come up and play with them and, later, said I should come back anytime. As it turned out, this guy wasn't at the session all that often, so when I did come I would play with the other two or three regulars, who while by no means unfriendly were nowhere near as outgoing.
The first several times I went, I have to say part of me was very anxious. I mean, these guys were so damn good -- what the hell was I doing there? What if I really really screwed up?
But at the end, I always thanked them for letting me sit in, and they would thank me for coming and invite me back. Like you, I wasn't sure at first if they were just being polite, and that maybe I should leave well enough alone.
What kept me coming back were two things: First, the opportunity to play with excellent musicians was/is just too good to pass up. Second, I reckoned I had to just trust their response to me at face value -- if they really _didn't_ want me there, they would find some way of communicating it more effectively.
In fact, when I encountered these musicians at concerts or other settings outside of the session, they seemed genuinely pleased to see and talk to me, and would ask if I'd been out to the session recently and when I was coming again.
So now, five years later, I feel very accepted and truly know that I am welcome at this session. I correspond pretty regularly with the musician who organizes it and consider him a friend, whom I can ask for advice on music-related matters.
In this forum, it's interesting how often we discuss the "second time around"-type situation from a different point of view: i.e., when one of us is trying to find the right way to tell somebody _not_ to come back. I sometimes wonder if this doesn't overheighten our own sensitivity to session-related interactions: Do we look for hidden messages or strain to hear unspoken words, none of which may even be there?
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by sts
Re: Second time around
TJ - I hope you weren't offended or put off by my previous posts. The answer I would give if I were to be serious is: deffo go back. Stick at it. The fact that you are a member here and posted the query means you are very interested in playing The Music. So you owe it to yourself to persist. Good luck with it.
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by Rudall the time
Re: Second time around
Thanks so much for the encouragement-all of you! I did get up the courage to go back and was so glad I did! The ones who were there last week remembered me and made me feel just as welcome as last time, if not even more welcome!
I picked up on the tunes much faster than last time and the others even forced me into a solo position several different times. That was terrifying, but a lot of fun, too! They told me I did a good job and to come back again. A man and his wife even gave me their phone number so that they can give me names of more jams and festivals around the state.
It really is more of a bluegrass jam than a session, I guess. But they aren't opposed to the Irish music when I want to play it, so that's good!
No more second guessing. Even if I don't feel like it next time, I think I'd better go.
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by TJ