Well, nearly a dad and it’s all very exciting….but just wondering
will I manage to get any time to play once a baby comes along.
Of course I probably won’t worry about music or anything else
when it happens, but am interested in how people manage to
practice/get to sessions etc when nearly all their time is taken
up with more important things !
This is what you have to do. Forget about having a life for the moment. Instead use your practice time for more important things. Concentrate on bombarding your new sproglet with trad tunes from the moment it is born. Decide for yourself what your favourite instrument is and simply force it into the kid's hands as soon as it has the strength to grip with its fingers. This constant exposure to tunes is bound to make your kid into a musical genius from an early age. Then you don't even have to go to sessions anymore. Just play tunes with your kid. It just takes a bit of effort and short-term sacrifice on your part. The only problem is that once it learns how to speak, it'll be asking you for musical instruments for presents instead of toys, and that's going to work out expensive, but your efforts will pay off in the long run.
I've never been "blessed" with children (that I know of) but I don't think you should need to give up music altogether.
It will be good fun teaching and encouraging your child to play music in a year or two. Don't force him/her, though. Then in a few years time, your child will be an even better musician than yourself and teach you new tunes. So, there's still lots of music ahead of you, I'm sure.
Except for the "forcing" bit though. I'll rephrase that perhaps. Maybe instead of "forcing" an instrument into the kids hands, you could place it pointedly in the kid's cradle, and look at it like "hint, hint"!
I'd say, music doesn't end once a child comes along, you just have to organise it differently. For our family, music 'IS' one of the "important things"!
Don't panic BegF!
When we had ours we took him, right from day one, to as many sessions as we could, and organised more afternoon sessions than usual, to suit, as well as having loads of musical friends round to the house for evening sessions & musical weekends.
I remember him bouncing across our old slab kitchen floor in one of those wee bouncy chairs, in time to the music of course!
In his teens Kevin did try Trad for a couple of years before tearing into Blues & Rock & finally Jazz.
He's just about to graduate now, BA (Hons), & is now a full time musician, gigging & already teaching Bass a couple of days a week for a local Uni.
By the way, congratulations!
I hope you are planning to be there at the birth?
That's one 'session' you will never forget!
Anyway, of course, let us know how it goes ....twins, triplets whatever!
Hint hint daddy wants you to be as good on the fiddle as the man you can hear on this CD you've been listening to on repeat all night. Stop crying and listen to what you're gonna sound like kiddo!
As for 'forcing' instruments into their hands, I would never ever advocate that!
I'd say it's better to just have music around them all the time, & make it a natural part of your family life & let them just absorb it naturally & so come to it naturally themselves.
Our Kevin was never forced & now he can run rings round us musically!
I'm sure we've all seen youngsters at fleadhs who are clearly being 'forced' to play, with that dead expression in their eyes, clearly just wishing they were somewhere else!
I'm sure you don't want that for your child.
When our fellow was growing up, sure, I hoped that he would come to music, but I wished & wished with all my heart that he would grow up to have a real passion for something in life, anything at all!
I wouldn't have really cared what that was, just so long as he didn't end up being one of those folk who just went through the motions of life, without actually being there!
ok some basics
you will feel like you won the lottery and blew up a mirror factory at the same time, you will feel that you know everything but will also be overwhelmed with the knowledge you know nothing. Dont despair, we all felt like that. You wont want to ever let go. Everyone will offer well meaning advice. Oddly enough people without children and no experience will offer the most. By #3 child the offers to babysit will tail off and anyone who walks within range will have the baby thrust at them to hold. Good luck, sleepless nights and remember enjoy this time as it only comes for a short time.
BegF, you'll be a natural. Babies sleep for 22-23 out of 24 hours to start with, so apart from hanging over the cot admiring the incredible beauty of such a perfect little miracle, there is nothing to stop you playing. In fact babies are not woken up by music, will sleep anywhere and can fit into your life without too much hastle.
Good on you, anyhow. Enjoy the experience.
Before a child is born, it becomes familiar with sounds and voices they here alot, so more than likely the instrument you play the most is the one your child will be more interested in. If it is used to sessions, it will love the sessions as it is used to that kind of music and the excitement of it. Its been proven that slow soothing operatic music slows down an unborn babies heart and relaxes it and fast lively music increases the baby heart beat and excites the baby.
I agree with the other posts that you should introduce a musical instrument the first chance you get to your child. Yes, it will mess about and wreck your head for a few years, maybe even chewing it but it will be worth it in the end.
"sleepless nights" eh Joze? - we never really had much bother with those - we were lucky with our 'one' - well, I tried it once & didn't like it!
"and remember enjoy this time as it only comes for a short time." - you certainly got that right Joze, that time just whizzzzzzzzzzzzed by!
My favourite time was when he was a toddler & got all his words mixed up - BegF, when they start that, follow them round with a pen & paper & you'll get some great 'original' ideas for names for your new tunes!
Well it’s all very exciting, thanks for all the good wishes.
And I’m a bit more encouraged as to the time to play aspect.
I do plan to be there, I hope he/she will like music, especially
diddly, but wasn’t planning on forcing anything, although I’m
making no promises !
In the months after my nephew was born, I was assigned the task of playing him music to keep him quiet. But since I was Uncle, not Dad, I was excused the more 'hands-on' duties.
If you play the harmonica with one of them brace things, you could actually change nappies and play at the same time. Also, you could glue your Moravian nose flute to your face. The problem is, when Baby reaches walking age, and you finally remove it from your face, he/she wouldn't recognise you and would scream with terror.
glasses have that effect too. Never forget this cream curdling strangled scream coming from the bathroom. Miss 4 walked into the bathroom while my father was having a bath..........He had taken his glasses off to have a bath and all she saw was a strange naked man.
It may take you a while. I didn't start playing until I was 12 or 13, but my two favorite people in the world to play with are my best friend and my dad. You can't force a kid into trad music, but you can expose them to it, and they'll probably like it.
But in the short term-yeah, forget about it. My history teacher last year had a new baby, and though he was totally happy throughout the year, he was always running on like 2 hours of sleep.
Being a musician, and, in particular, having musician friends who will seize on 'any excuse for a tune', can be be very useful if your sproglet decides to play the 'Colic Card'. Instead of wasting nights wondering whether to lay in bed guiltily ignoring the terminal-sounding wailing emanating from the kid's cot, or to go and spend the early hours groggily rocking the cradle ever more desperately and violently in the hope that the fruit of your once-proud loins will go to sleep - Why not invite the lads over, fight like with like! Position your chums round the little darling's cot and as the wails reach a crescendo, treat your errant child as you would any other unruly punter, and play ever louder!
Thus you will kill many birds with the one stone.
You'll get your musical fix, You'll fill those sleepless nights with something fun, and you'll be priming your child's subconcious withLad O'Beirne's and Mayor Harrison's Fedora, which must give the infant prodigy a head start in the game of life.
BegF ~ CONGRATULATIONS!!! ~ Be careful though, not about your own child but about the children on site here. There are a lot of opinionated bachelors. You're batting about 50% here, but as usual, it was the bachelors that came on thread first with the opinions ~ as if they could speak from experience... And NO! ~ being an uncle or having siblings is not the same thing...
I've only worked with children, but that includes some real hard asses and some very emotionally disturbed children. Sadly we were not able to have children of our own, but we both work with them. I am never amazed at the magic music and dance can work for children. I also had an interest in that claimed for affliction of 'tone deafness'. What I've read and discovered is that it is just insecurity, often caused from not having music around the house as they grew up, or by having bastards for teachers or parents who knocked any confidence out of them.
Just think of how you'll be able to improve your tone working on all those lovely slow airs and lullabys... What will really light your fuse is when the child then starts to associate the music with your love and your being around, your touch. You'll know it. Yeah, sometimes they might cry, but often for other reasons. But I've seen a child light up and smile when their mother started to sing to them or play a tune, and then relax and fall to sleep... Music is an amazing gift and your children are blessed from the start... But, please, lay off the fast reels for a spell, you can also wind them up with the music too, and who will have to bring them down to earth ~ sadly, still, it tends to be mom... So, reels O.K. a couple or rooms away, but start learning some nice relaxed tunes, or even playing your reels slow ~ just think how much you'll improve your own playing doing that...
That's rubbish advice 'c', god you think you know it all don't you. I have a much better idea. You could get your kid to learn tunes via a reward-punishment setup. None of this associating tunes with your love and stuff like that - that's just sissy. Make the kid associate tunes with sweets and biscuits and other treats. If it doesn't learn tunes then just don't feed it. It'll soon learn to play. Kids aren't stupid you know.
Practice makes perfect eh Mark... Now we know your last name is Pavlov, what next? Do you drool when you play Irish music? Damned that must be messy...
On the horses side of things ~ I have never had a problem taking a horse for a drink... Some of my best friends ~ but enough of the sidebar stuff. The key is not to expect they necessarily take the gift you give them and pursue ITM, they might prefer HR or EL or the B's, or any number of other possible alphabetic combinations... And at some point they may even laugh at their da ~ the bloke with that whatchamacallit playing diddly music... But just know in your heart, that whatever course they take, you gave them music and rhythm that will be with them for the rest of their life, something very much in the category of 'heartbeat'... Sometimes, well, most times, you just have to let them find their own way with it...
Dow's da used electro-therapy with him. It's a wonder he can do anything with the permanent shakes he's got. Everything's in 2/4 or 3/4 for with the poor lad and all at the same ghastly incessant tempo...
I had to check, and there might be a possible problem ~ confusion:
BegF
Play guitar. Fluting between Cork and Dublin. Play more in friends kitchen than in pubs.
Mainly fiddle, flute, bodhran and banjo at our weekly sit-in.
"Play guitar." ~ in my mind comes one of those plastic guitars with the crank on the side...
"Fluting between Cork and Dublin." ~ "Flutterin'"? ~ are yez ever home? That's one hell of a stretch... How do you manage that and the necessary wind too?
"Play more in friends kitchens than in pubs." I hope your own kitchen will do for a stretch...and your lovely wife is amenable.
"Mainly fiddle, flute, bodhran, banjo ~ " I now have in vision one of those blokes on the street corner with cymbals strapped to his knees ~ the poor wee bairn...
" ~ and weekly sit-in." ~ I do hope you intend to learn the finer art of diaper changing. You might possibly be doing more standing than sitting in future...
But ~ I still think your offspring are blessed whatever kazoo you choose to play for them... ~ and I hope you learn a few songs too, the voice is a lovely thing, even in frogs and toads...
Mandolin, ahhhhh.... One of my wife's favourites...and mine... If you get a picture of the new arrival on site anywhere let us all know... I've faith in you and know it will go well...
"Tears and screaming" ~ Hell, if you've ever managed to survive a badly out of tune set of pipes a child's noise is child's play... Just try to teach them to do it in key...
Ours is only 6 months old but we both play and so far he has been a happy little onlooker. We are lucky enough to have a bandmate whose wife loves him and takes care of him when we play at their house. His first session (at our house) was when he was one week old.
Our music schedule has changed a little but not as much as I was fearing and I think the result of him being dragged hither and yon is that we now have an adaptable, happy baby. Or else he started out that way and we are slowly ruining him. Hmm...time will tell, I guess.
you'll see the result of my musical cradle-bashing (He's the one with the long hair and bunny ears)
Unfortunately the traditional stuff is taking a while to resurface and he has developed a penchant for singing Louis Prima songs, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time ....
It was Dow and John J who started in at the beginning, both without children themselves, except active and alive within... Ptarm was the first honest to God parent to come on thread here...
You're making assumptions about my marital status, Ceolachan!
However, I only offered much the same advice as most people here that BegF should continue to enjoy his music with his children and wouldn't necessarily stop playing. It would just be a little different. That's all.
One of my biggest regrets in life is that my estranged father, an excellent musician, didn't bother to even keep in touch let alone encourage me to take a musical path. Otherwise, I might have been a much better player today.
So, I'd BegF and every other parent to encourage their children, in this respect.
First of all congratulations, and although I'm not a parent myself, I will go by what my friends say, and they tell me the little one's love noise so much so that that they put on noisy appliances like hoovers to stop their cutie from crying, so I'm thinking that you don't have to worry - you'll just take out your instruments and start playing and the baby will be a very happy baby - you don't need hoovers - and depending on the baby's mood you can play lovely tender Irish lullabies or go into blasting session mode.
However, on more serious note, your baby might indeed respond positively to musical stimuli so you might get more of a chance to play than you think - somehow most children take naturally to music given the chance. I have a hole bunch of neighbours' kids of varying ages who visit us to get the chance to try out my collection of whistles and my two plastic flutes (I won't give my wooden flute to a toddler - too afraid - hahaha... but I let the older ones have a go of course under my careful supervision).
To tell the truth, I always enjoy that time with the little ones... they are amazing... sometimes I can just sit in the garden and play the flute and sometimes the children come all quietly on their tiptoes as not to disturb me and without saying a word they sit down on the grass and just listen to the sound of the flute even though I can't play well... so I'm sure if it's your own child, you'll have many precious moments with him/her... and as the others here say, it will give you a wonderful opportunity to bond. As to sessions, I'm sure if you talk sensitively with your partner that you can come to an arrangement to give her time off to relax while you take care of the baby and in return she will offer you time off to go to a session while she looks after your son/daughter.
What's important is to be sensitive to her because the birth of a child is a joyful but also emotionally vulnerable time for a woman (and of course for a father too), and it will help if you reassure her that she and your child are more precious to you than your music or anything else for that matter which I know goes without saying but women do need this extra bit of reassurance from a man. So if that foundation is solid and she feels safe, then you have much to build on - i'm sure your partner will want you to be happy in the same way you want her to be happy which includes enabling each other to pursue other hobbies and outside activities - with you its music with your partner it might be something else - as long as you encourage and enable each other, you will be able to balance both your needs and the needs of your child; but of course with the arrival of baby change is inevitable - it will turn everything upside down and you will need to compromise but it doesn't have to turn into a painful sacrifice - again it comes down to balancing your needs and the needs of your wife and child.
Oh, dear, I sound like one of those agonising agony aunts - so please, forgive me if anything I have said sounds patronising - I don't mean it like that - I'm just someone who when she starts waffling doesn't know when to stop.
Well, so now putting all my waffling aside - congratulations Beg F - you have so much to look forward too, so don't worry - given time things will fall into place.
Mine have all been with mum backstage every weekend untill they were old enough to toddle, then it was on to the dance-floor.
As soon as they were old enough to provide some rhythm, they were tamborine-ing and shaking in time (better than some who go regularly to sessions) untill they were old enough to take up instruments.
Needless to say, although they had played on stage, I wouldn't let them play in sessions until they had been playing for a few years.
I've just received a wonderful short video from Belgium of my 2-year old Belgian granddaughter and her 2-year old cousin dancing in front of the TV to Daniel Barenboim playing the lively last movement of a Mozart piano concerto.
That's catching 'em young!
This day last week I went to see a fortune teller who told me I am going to have 4 children and there will be twins, which they are in both sides of my family. I kinda laughed it off and myself and two friends of mine did the old wives tale of swinging a wedding ring on a chain over the other persons hand... what did I get TWINS and TWO more children. Freaked out. Now how am I going to play, Ill be a mother of twins!!!!
Ok ok im 20 and still have to find another half, but TWINS!!!
I would say to bring your music into your family life immediately. You might be surprised at the warmth, fun, and closeness it brings.
I have two beautiful goddesschildren, one 5 and one 8.5 months old. They love the fiddle and the ridiculous songs I improvise for them ("Lauren and the rose, Lauren and the sun, Lauren and the daisy, Lauren and the moon" sung to the tune of "Bringing in the Sheaves.") Neither of them can get enough of hearing the fiddle. Nathan (5-year-old) is losing interest in dancing, but he still likes to hear me play, and he sings the songs I have made up for him. (Sunday, he asked me for "a dinosaur song," and I found myself improvising an opera for him.)
BegF, first and foremost, let me add to the congratulations and best wishes on your impending fatherhood.
The fact is, there is just no way to anticipate or predict how your situation will turn out, how much time and effort you'll be able to put toward playing music -- and whether or not your offspring will develop similar interests.
My wife and I are musicians in the folk/traditional vein, and we exposed both our daughters to the music starting when they were in their first months. If we weren't taking them to concerts, festivals and the occasional session, we were playing and singing in our own parlor.
But even as infants, kids are seldom passive recipients of stimuli, as you will undoubtedly find out. Our girls had their own ideas about how they wanted to interact with us, and it didn't always necessarily include having a musical instrument as part of the mix. All well and good to be sitting there playing a jig set, but if your kid is plainly unhappy and wailing away because he/she wants something more than music's charms, well, there's not much point.
As our daughters got older and entered school-age, we continued trying to play as much of "our" music as possible. While they certainly liked some of what they heard, they wanted to have "their" music, stuff that appealed to their particular tastes and inclinations. So, we sought out family-oriented music that wasn't annoying and overly cute, and actually had some appeal to adults -- the likes of Sally Rogers, Rosenshontz and Tom Paxton. And so our own repertoire began to take on such songs, overshadowing the stuff we had played before.
There was so much other stuff going on in our lives, too, having to do with school and community, that we only had so much energy to spend on certain things. Some parents are able to balance all of these demands AND keep on playing their music, but for whatever reason, we didn't, or couldn't. On the one hand, I kind of wish it had been different, but that's just how things were and I'm not about to waste time fretting over roads not taken.
That said, I should add that our instruments weren't necessarily gathering dust for months at a time in the corner. I made a point of trying to get 'em out and run through songs and tunes as often as I could, and when my wife -- who tends to be focused on one or two things at a time -- could find it in herself, she would do so, too. But in truth, music did not occupy the same center as it had in our pre-child lives.
The good news is, when kids get older you have the opportunity to reclaim at least some of what you had. This in fact is what I've been doing the past several years, and in some ways, I'm more active -- and in a lot more areas -- musically than I was before I became a parent. My wife, on the other hand, has found other avenues for her creative energies and interests, so she hasn't really found her way back to the music. But we have enough muscle memory as a duo that we can get out the instruments and, without too much trouble, go through our repertoire.
As for kids "following in one's footsteps": Ours went through a period in late elementary and early middle school where they wanted to focus more on all the popular stuff all their friends and peers were listening to, so our house and car was filled with the sounds of Hanson, Spice Girls, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, ad nauseum (although they still liked going to the folk festival we attended every year).
But when they reached puberty, they began to look beyond the Top 40 detritus, and realized that some of the music Mom and Dad always liked and listened to was pretty good. Mind you, they will always have "their" music, but our orbits do intersect with some regularity, and it's great.
And while neither one of our girls has decided to take up fiddle or flute, they do have music in their lives. Our older one taught herself to play guitar, and she'll sit in her room and happily go through songs by Indigo Girls, Dar Williams, Ani DiFranco -- even Joni Mitchell or Simon & Garfunkel. Our younger one doesn't play an instrument, but she just loves to sing, and that's what she'll do, even if it's just for her own amusement. I couldn't be happier: No, we probably won't have a family band, but the main thing is that my kids derive enjoyment from music on their own terms.
Don't worry too much, you'll still have a musical life after your baby arrives, but there WILL be changes. Mostly, they're good changes.
Nearly all babies like music and there will certainly be times when you'll be sitting up while the little person deals (loudly) with an upset tummy. A little music will help you keep your own sanity AND might help to calm down a colicky baby. (Not that much works!)
One of my fondest memories is of sitting in my office and playing my fiddle when I heard a small noise at the doorway. I looked up and saw Alex, there, quite happy with my playing.
He's got a rather severe disability, a lot like CP but with a different cause, and to make his way from the living room to the office was quite a feat for him! He's been my "favorite audience" ever since, and he's been going to sessions and music festivals with us for several years, now (he's 10). We use music (and musical toys), a lot, as a motivator when we're working with him.
I think there's a lot to what tara-the-fiddler says, Alex is also very adaptable and comfortable in new situations. Probably in large part because we didn't hesitate to take him to all sorts of places; not just musical events, but parks and museums and art galleries and aquariums....
Kids who get out a lot tend to be less fearful of the unknown.
John J ~ alright, you might be Mormon or a Sheikh with multiple wives or a harem for all I know...nice contributions whatever your marital state... Mostly I was doing my usual slag Dow's way, sorry I took you into that... "Bachelor' can be a state of mind, and I've known a good number of women who fit the caste...
With sts's fine contribution and those from others, it is amazing the friend music can be when it begins as a part of your early life, a growing appreciation. You don't have to play an instrument or follow the same genres as your original source, in this case BegF, but the seed is planted and may find root and fruit just in the joy someone gets from listening to their choice of CDs... Lucky kid to have those its family who make it live...how ever rought that might be. Some of the sweetest music I've ever heard in my whole life was 'rough' but from the heart...
my 9 yr old son was a handfull as a baby and the only way I could stop him screaming was to play the mandolin next to his cot and it worked so there maybe time to play your instrument
sometimes kids have a way of doing what you don't want. My daughter will tell you she cut her teeth at the old Eagle Tavern in NYC, Listening to Flying Cloud, Monday night sessions, coming to my gigs etc. She seemed to have a good time, even as a 2-7 year old (til we moved out to the sticks). There were other kids there at times, but she liked adults too. Sometimes she slept in her stroller through it all.
Then at about 6 she wanted to learn fiddle, so I got her this gorgeous little fiddle (Fiddlefamily....it's the one I gave you last year!) but she really didn't take to it. She played flute in school band and had private lessons too, and seemed to be going somewhere with it, and dropped it at 14. She became the brainiac of the family amongst music antd art obsessed parents. Just lost interest.
Now she has a little two year old who was guitar obsessed as soon as she could walk. Her dad is a rock drummer, no interest in drums, but she makes me open up all the guitar cases in turn and strums. I got her a uke and she is actually learning the thumb and index finger picking pretty well, and I am astounded.
I wouldn't force it on them, just make it part of your daily life, some kids will take to it. I think at some point, even school band music lessons should be encouraged, just so they learn the language of music, they may go for it....so I wouldn't force, but would sure urge it heavily.
Having kids will impact your music -- and your whole life. What else is new? I've never had kids of my own, but I've lived long enough to watch many of my friends raise them. They go into it believing it's not going to affect their lives that much, but they always find out different. They'll insist that they'll still come to the sessions... and then they drop off. But it's not because they think having kids is a burden, but rather because it's a joy.
I have a friend whose child wouldn't allow her to play her mandolin since it appeared to compete for attention. The child would crawl into her lap as she was playing to bring the activity to a halt, and then throw a fit if that didn't work. The child eventually became a champion step dancer, but never took up playing an instrument. 2 nights ago I was at a music party at a friends house and playing tunes with some folks that included this child's mother. Her daughter is of college age now and asked if her and two friends could come and listen. They did, and they sat in the other room enjoying the music. When her mother was leading a lovely new tune that only one other person also knew, her daughter decided it was time to leave and came over to announce it to her mom as she was playing and interrupted her. My friend stopped without complaint, got up and said goodbye to her daughter and friends. Who else could get away with that sort of interruption? Only a beloved offspring of course.
This is what I'm always impressed by -- the unconditional love. It's powerful and will be what keeps you home on session nights, makes you go to your child's event rather than a festival you would never miss, and will fulfill you more than the music events you'll be missing ever could. But don't worry... eventually you'll be back.
There are times in ones life as a parent when theresimply doesn't seem to be any time to make and enjoy music - don't worry, these times pass, like the times when you can't get them to sleep, or get enough for yourself.
Does your partner also play or enjoy the music? Then, as said before, just play the stuff to them, take them out to it when you can, parties, session, clubs, festivals - kids can sleep through this, but they also are absorbing it at the same time. There is no guarantee how they will turn out ( never is ), but feed them the good stuff and let them find out what they like.
AND, after what might seem like a very long time to you at the moment, but will actually fly by, they will LEAVE HOME, and you can start all over again.
My daughter loves everything from Alice Cooper to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I reckon she turned out all right, even if she isn't morris dancing or playing the pipes.
PS went to a launch last night for the CD "Taking Note", from Meitheal Cheoil, basically ITM from teenagers in North London - the gig had the air of a school concert, but the music........some of these kids need serious stamping-on, they are too good already !
PS I was lucky in that I always had the band, there were years when I only went out when I was paid, but these are past, and I am revitalised, and I think our partnership is also revitalised, and our social life, because we now get out to more live music, to play and to hear, as well as my having my band gigs.
Oh, and you can hear us briefly on http://www.myspace.com.tanglefootuk
I didn't take up playing ITM until my son was 8, so the really demanding years (time-wise) were without that conflict. Now my son is 11 and reads a lot, so he's pretty independent; my wife does different music, so we are able to give eachother the time we we need, and lead independent musical lives. Some of my (non-musician) married friends are incredulous that I go out to a pub without my wife!
Sadly, my son has stopped playing music (recorder, then flute in school). Years ago I bought him a nifty Martin travel guitar (every kid needs a guitar, right?), but he hasn't yet felt the need to pick it up. I'm hoping, with our examples, that he'll return to playing music on his own.
I do wonder if our lives had as much music in them when he was younger as it does now, what effect that might have had.
So, BegF, I would do what PB's friend has done, and bring the sessions into your house for those early years.
Congratulations! I’m really happy for you, possibly more than you realize. We have a wonderful six month old girl. (And congratulations to you too, tara-the-fiddler!) Having a baby should cut into your music time, but there’s no reason it should cut it off.
As far as having the time to practice (and if you can stomach any more advice), here’s a thought – read this book:
this has been the single most useful book on caring for our child we’ve found. It’s based on what the author calls the EASY principle. Yeah, I tend to hate corny acronymns, too. But it’s really helped us so far. Basically, it’s about recognising natural rhythms in a newborns day, cycling through (E)ating, (A)ctivity and (S)leep. And then there’s (Y)our time – time to recharge and do things you enjoy. It helps her mother and me to know when she cries whether she’s hungry, bored or just tired. It’s not a rigid structure, but it helps put some organization to the chaos. And it works. She’s happy and healthy. Most of the time our daughter goes to bed at 1000pm and sleeps till 730ish. She has a couple one-hour nap times during the day and I can take some time to work on tunes then as well.
I get up early in the morning to practice with a metal meisel mute on my fiddle. I would imagine using the “invisible pick” on the mando should work out similarly – you know, the technique of using the same hand position as you would to hold a pick, but using your index finger nail to pluck the strings. Very quiet. Create a little white noise if possible (I turn on the vent fan in the bathroom which is next to the baby’s room). I can play for an hour or more until I hear her stir. I think my favorite moment of the day is lifting her from her crib and singing to her as I change her diapers.
And of course, I’m married to an angel, so I still get out once a week to play, and maybe a couple more times a month for tunes with a former band mate. I think I’m playing about 75-80% of what I was pre-babe.
“Wats this got to do with Irish Traditional Music” - I hope that was just a joke, Km7 playing at being a cranky old coot. So much of this music is rooted in a sense of community and what’s more appropriate than a question about how to continue playing music while raising a family? Tradition doesn’t go too far without a few descendents
Our baby loves music. She lights up when I play the fiddle or tinwhistle, with a smile so sweet sometimes I think my head is going to explode! She gets really excited when her mom plays ukulele and sings to her. I must say, however, that the smallpipes produced a large lower lip followed by tears... Can’t figure out if she doesn’t like the instrument, or just doesn’t care to hear The Muckin’ O Geordie’s Byre butchered by her pa.
I still remember a fun evening, many years ago now, when my brother and I sat and sang and played all kinds of quite raucous tunes, drinking wine and having a laugh, it was only when I got up to go to the loo that I noticed the tiny baby niece asleep in the pram in the corner of the room. He had known she was there all along and knew she wouldn't wake. The secret is to start them early listening to the music. Have you ever heard a recording of the noises that the baby hears in the womb? Sounds like a very busy traffic junction with a few road works thrown in for good measure!. Honestly! If they can find that soothing they will soon take to anything you play, especially if its associated with their lovely Dad The sooner you start playing your instrument around them as normal (whether they are asleep or not) the better. They will accept it as the norm and not find it startling or unsettling. All the best Beg F and good luck in your new adventure.
I'm still enjoying these stories, heart warming, even if a certain gremlin is on my case over me calling folks 'bachelors' and congratulating procreation, as if the first were a slag and the second was a horse race won, or maybe better a mandolin contest and someone having taken first place... I like bachelors too, and I do realize it is the wife who deserves the greater appreciation of carrying the load for nine months and bearing the pain of delivery... But you know guys, we don't suffer anywhere near the same amoung, but even a cold becomes pneumonia, and we do suffer and worry so, in moaning if not in truth...
Congrats BegF. It is an exciting time. I know, we're expecting our fourth any day now. You'll hear a lot of stuff about how little time and sleep you'll have, but unless the critter's colicky, you should do fine. And babies really love live music.
Now my oldest daughter (5) desperately wants a tenor banjo. I'm going to have to try to rig one of those uke-banjos to GDAE.
I am laughing so hard @ Dow, I actually drooled on my keyboard. I'm saving my eggs for you, Dubg, you know that. Hey, what's the status with Beeb's sproglet? Still in utero, or has she brought it round with a 1/32 size fiddle yet? I know you will be the quintessential godfather... or, uh, craicfather. Or uh, something. PS congrats BegF!!!
If exposing your kid to music was effective in embedding an interest in a particular genre I'd be fascinated with a different Island and playing tunes with titles like, "Tiny Bubbles" right now.
This thread has now equalled the number of postings re having tune titles in english, but with far less vitriol.
Aaaaaaaah, bless.
"Being a dad can sure drive you mad, man it can drive you crazy
"It's as bad as it looks, you gotta read 'em dumb books
"And you end up despising Walt Disney"
( Loudon Wainwright 3 )
No time to write the whole song out.
A very belated congrats to you BegF.
I think you have more than enough advice here already.
Like a lot of things in life, it is really what you make of it (fatherhood). The trick is finding the balance between doing your thing and the family thing. If they can be one and the same it's easy.
Good luck.
Congratulation BegF. I'll say to you what a neighbour said to my better half and myself, upon hearing of our impending arrival some years ago. That was: " your life is about to change more than you can possibly imagine". Well, he was spot on. Sprogs will impact on your music - there's simply no way of avoiding that - however, that's no reason to stop altogether!
What's wrong with Don Ho and that traditional Hawaiian standard "Tiny Bubbles"? Let's all have a sing song then for the occassion, and we can easily adapt the words, how does the chorus start (this one's for Dow), chorus first ~
Congratulations and celebrations
When I tell everyone that I'm a dad to be
Congratulations and jubilations
I want the world to know I'm worried as can be. ~ etc...
G. Pete - I was at the Meitheal Cheoil album launch the other night. I listened to the CD 1.5 times yesterday, and I'll be listening some more - and stealing some tunes from it.
Did you come upstairs to the little session afterwards? I was the big kid with the beard.
Congratulations!!! on your upcoming fatherhood. I've read most of the postings above, and have to agree with most of the sentiments. My son was born a little over two years ago. Granted, I've never been the caliber of musician as most of the other folks who have already replied, but I do like to play, and try to play as often as I can. Unfortunately, my wife is not musical, so I can't say that music is "fully" integrated into our lives. But she is supportive of my passion, and is absolutely interested giving our son musical opportunities. As such, we've managed to integrate music into our family life reasonably well.
As for my experiences with music and fatherhood, I've had a few...
When my son was still an infant, I would take him to the local dance studio when my friends and I would rehearse playing for upcoming dance performances. No problem. He usually just laid there, in awe of all of the sights and sounds. Occasionally he would crawl a little too far out on the dance floor and get a bit close to some flying feet. No one seemed to mind when I skipped a few bars to drag him back to safety
My friend and I would play weekly at my house, she on fiddle, and me on flute. Nathan would just sleep right through it. He has always fallen asleep to Irish music.
At night, almost every night, I play tunes to him as he goes to sleep. That's about a half-hour to an hour of practice time every time I do it, because even after he falls asleep, I just keep on playing.
By far the most difficult thing was one time when I went to a workshop for a week, and was away from my wife and son. They were supposed to come a day later, but the weather turned lousy, so they stayed home. I was heartsick the whole week. The workshop was wonderful, but I just couldn't get that feeling of emptiness out of my gut.
The most heartwarming anecdote I can think of is... whenever I put Catherine McEvoy, or Matt Malloy, or June McCormack, et al, on the CD player. Nathan runs over, points to the speakers, jumps up and down in blubbering excitement and shouts, "DADDY!"
Do I have to tell you how happy that makes me???
Congratulations and best of luck to you and your family!
Gorgeous little Laragh arrived August 6th in the wee hours of the morning. (I have not pointed out to BegF that this may in fact mean that she'll be a major night owl; he still has to get through the terrible twos and her pre-pubescent stages in one piece.) BegF reports that "this fatherhood thing is fantastic !" Congrats to mother, father, and Laragh herself.
Babies breaking out all over! (She really is a fetching little thing!)
Having kids.
Having kids.
Well, nearly a dad and it’s all very exciting….but just wondering
will I manage to get any time to play once a baby comes along.
Of course I probably won’t worry about music or anything else
when it happens, but am interested in how people manage to
practice/get to sessions etc when nearly all their time is taken
up with more important things !
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
This is what you have to do. Forget about having a life for the moment. Instead use your practice time for more important things. Concentrate on bombarding your new sproglet with trad tunes from the moment it is born. Decide for yourself what your favourite instrument is and simply force it into the kid's hands as soon as it has the strength to grip with its fingers. This constant exposure to tunes is bound to make your kid into a musical genius from an early age. Then you don't even have to go to sessions anymore. Just play tunes with your kid. It just takes a bit of effort and short-term sacrifice on your part. The only problem is that once it learns how to speak, it'll be asking you for musical instruments for presents instead of toys, and that's going to work out expensive, but your efforts will pay off in the long run.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
I've never been "blessed" with children (that I know of) but I don't think you should need to give up music altogether.
It will be good fun teaching and encouraging your child to play music in a year or two. Don't force him/her, though. Then in a few years time, your child will be an even better musician than yourself and teach you new tunes. So, there's still lots of music ahead of you, I'm sure.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Johannes J
Re: Having kids.
Similar thoughts to my own, Mark.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Johannes J
Re: Having kids.
Lads, ye're scaring me.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
Except for the "forcing" bit though. I'll rephrase that perhaps. Maybe instead of "forcing" an instrument into the kids hands, you could place it pointedly in the kid's cradle, and look at it like "hint, hint"!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
I'd say, music doesn't end once a child comes along, you just have to organise it differently. For our family, music 'IS' one of the "important things"!
Don't panic BegF!
When we had ours we took him, right from day one, to as many sessions as we could, and organised more afternoon sessions than usual, to suit, as well as having loads of musical friends round to the house for evening sessions & musical weekends.
I remember him bouncing across our old slab kitchen floor in one of those wee bouncy chairs, in time to the music of course!
In his teens Kevin did try Trad for a couple of years before tearing into Blues & Rock & finally Jazz.
He's just about to graduate now, BA (Hons), & is now a full time musician, gigging & already teaching Bass a couple of days a week for a local Uni.
By the way, congratulations!
I hope you are planning to be there at the birth?
That's one 'session' you will never forget!
Anyway, of course, let us know how it goes ....twins, triplets whatever!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Having kids.
Hint hint daddy wants you to be as good on the fiddle as the man you can hear on this CD you've been listening to on repeat all night. Stop crying and listen to what you're gonna sound like kiddo!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
Thanks otarmigan.
Dow, you really need help.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
"Ptarmigan"
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
As for 'forcing' instruments into their hands, I would never ever advocate that!
I'd say it's better to just have music around them all the time, & make it a natural part of your family life & let them just absorb it naturally & so come to it naturally themselves.
Our Kevin was never forced & now he can run rings round us musically!
I'm sure we've all seen youngsters at fleadhs who are clearly being 'forced' to play, with that dead expression in their eyes, clearly just wishing they were somewhere else!
I'm sure you don't want that for your child.
When our fellow was growing up, sure, I hoped that he would come to music, but I wished & wished with all my heart that he would grow up to have a real passion for something in life, anything at all!
I wouldn't have really cared what that was, just so long as he didn't end up being one of those folk who just went through the motions of life, without actually being there!
Good Luck!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Having kids.
ok some basics
you will feel like you won the lottery and blew up a mirror factory at the same time, you will feel that you know everything but will also be overwhelmed with the knowledge you know nothing. Dont despair, we all felt like that. You wont want to ever let go. Everyone will offer well meaning advice. Oddly enough people without children and no experience will offer the most. By #3 child the offers to babysit will tail off and anyone who walks within range will have the baby thrust at them to hold. Good luck, sleepless nights and remember enjoy this time as it only comes for a short time.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Joze
Re: Having kids.
BegF, you'll be a natural. Babies sleep for 22-23 out of 24 hours to start with, so apart from hanging over the cot admiring the incredible beauty of such a perfect little miracle, there is nothing to stop you playing. In fact babies are not woken up by music, will sleep anywhere and can fit into your life without too much hastle.
Good on you, anyhow. Enjoy the experience.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Clear Drops
Re: Having kids.
Before a child is born, it becomes familiar with sounds and voices they here alot, so more than likely the instrument you play the most is the one your child will be more interested in. If it is used to sessions, it will love the sessions as it is used to that kind of music and the excitement of it. Its been proven that slow soothing operatic music slows down an unborn babies heart and relaxes it and fast lively music increases the baby heart beat and excites the baby.
I agree with the other posts that you should introduce a musical instrument the first chance you get to your child. Yes, it will mess about and wreck your head for a few years, maybe even chewing it but it will be worth it in the end.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Sarfly
Re: Having kids.
I was joking.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
Sorry, congratulations!!!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Sarfly
Re: Having kids.
"sleepless nights" eh Joze? - we never really had much bother with those - we were lucky with our 'one' - well, I tried it once & didn't like it!
"and remember enjoy this time as it only comes for a short time." - you certainly got that right Joze, that time just whizzzzzzzzzzzzed by!
My favourite time was when he was a toddler & got all his words mixed up - BegF, when they start that, follow them round with a pen & paper & you'll get some great 'original' ideas for names for your new tunes!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Having kids.
So was I (Dow)
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
Well it’s all very exciting, thanks for all the good wishes.
And I’m a bit more encouraged as to the time to play aspect.
I do plan to be there, I hope he/she will like music, especially
diddly, but wasn’t planning on forcing anything, although I’m
making no promises !
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
I think the word your looking for there BegF is encourage!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ptarmigan
Re: Having kids.
In the months after my nephew was born, I was assigned the task of playing him music to keep him quiet. But since I was Uncle, not Dad, I was excused the more 'hands-on' duties.
If you play the harmonica with one of them brace things, you could actually change nappies and play at the same time. Also, you could glue your Moravian nose flute to your face. The problem is, when Baby reaches walking age, and you finally remove it from your face, he/she wouldn't recognise you and would scream with terror.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by granama
Re: Having kids.
glasses have that effect too. Never forget this cream curdling strangled scream coming from the bathroom. Miss 4 walked into the bathroom while my father was having a bath..........He had taken his glasses off to have a bath and all she saw was a strange naked man.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Joze
Re: Having kids.
It may take you a while. I didn't start playing until I was 12 or 13, but my two favorite people in the world to play with are my best friend and my dad. You can't force a kid into trad music, but you can expose them to it, and they'll probably like it.
But in the short term-yeah, forget about it. My history teacher last year had a new baby, and though he was totally happy throughout the year, he was always running on like 2 hours of sleep.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Zazzaliss
Re: Having kids.
Practice your quiet airs and hope to dieties you don't even believe in that they work to put the sproglet to sleep.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Zazzaliss
Re: Having kids.
Being a musician, and, in particular, having musician friends who will seize on 'any excuse for a tune', can be be very useful if your sproglet decides to play the 'Colic Card'. Instead of wasting nights wondering whether to lay in bed guiltily ignoring the terminal-sounding wailing emanating from the kid's cot, or to go and spend the early hours groggily rocking the cradle ever more desperately and violently in the hope that the fruit of your once-proud loins will go to sleep - Why not invite the lads over, fight like with like! Position your chums round the little darling's cot and as the wails reach a crescendo, treat your errant child as you would any other unruly punter, and play ever louder!
Thus you will kill many birds with the one stone.
You'll get your musical fix, You'll fill those sleepless nights with something fun, and you'll be priming your child's subconcious withLad O'Beirne's and Mayor Harrison's Fedora, which must give the infant prodigy a head start in the game of life.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Having kids.
BegF ~ CONGRATULATIONS!!! ~ Be careful though, not about your own child but about the children on site here. There are a lot of opinionated bachelors. You're batting about 50% here, but as usual, it was the bachelors that came on thread first with the opinions ~ as if they could speak from experience... And NO! ~ being an uncle or having siblings is not the same thing...
I've only worked with children, but that includes some real hard asses and some very emotionally disturbed children. Sadly we were not able to have children of our own, but we both work with them. I am never amazed at the magic music and dance can work for children. I also had an interest in that claimed for affliction of 'tone deafness'. What I've read and discovered is that it is just insecurity, often caused from not having music around the house as they grew up, or by having bastards for teachers or parents who knocked any confidence out of them.
Just think of how you'll be able to improve your tone working on all those lovely slow airs and lullabys... What will really light your fuse is when the child then starts to associate the music with your love and your being around, your touch. You'll know it. Yeah, sometimes they might cry, but often for other reasons. But I've seen a child light up and smile when their mother started to sing to them or play a tune, and then relax and fall to sleep... Music is an amazing gift and your children are blessed from the start... But, please, lay off the fast reels for a spell, you can also wind them up with the music too, and who will have to bring them down to earth ~ sadly, still, it tends to be mom... So, reels O.K. a couple or rooms away, but start learning some nice relaxed tunes, or even playing your reels slow ~ just think how much you'll improve your own playing doing that...
Best of luck you lucky sod ~
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
That's rubbish advice 'c', god you think you know it all don't you. I have a much better idea. You could get your kid to learn tunes via a reward-punishment setup. None of this associating tunes with your love and stuff like that - that's just sissy. Make the kid associate tunes with sweets and biscuits and other treats. If it doesn't learn tunes then just don't feed it. It'll soon learn to play. Kids aren't stupid you know.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
aw, wow - congrats BegF!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Q
Re: Having kids.
yes, Dow's plan is fool proof !!!
(Thanks Q)
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
The first 25 years are the worst.
Now what was that homily about horses, water, and drink. ?
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by duffgen
Re: Having kids.
Pavlov's Dog Game:
http://nobelprize.org/educational_games/medicine/pavlov/
Practice makes perfect eh Mark... Now we know your last name is Pavlov, what next? Do you drool when you play Irish music? Damned that must be messy...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
On the horses side of things ~ I have never had a problem taking a horse for a drink... Some of my best friends ~ but enough of the sidebar stuff. The key is not to expect they necessarily take the gift you give them and pursue ITM, they might prefer HR or EL or the B's, or any number of other possible alphabetic combinations... And at some point they may even laugh at their da ~ the bloke with that whatchamacallit playing diddly music... But just know in your heart, that whatever course they take, you gave them music and rhythm that will be with them for the rest of their life, something very much in the category of 'heartbeat'... Sometimes, well, most times, you just have to let them find their own way with it...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Dow's da used electro-therapy with him. It's a wonder he can do anything with the permanent shakes he's got. Everything's in 2/4 or 3/4 for with the poor lad and all at the same ghastly incessant tempo...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
I had to check, and there might be a possible problem ~ confusion:
BegF
Play guitar. Fluting between Cork and Dublin. Play more in friends kitchen than in pubs.
Mainly fiddle, flute, bodhran and banjo at our weekly sit-in.
Tunes in BegF's tunebook: 0
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
What's the problem/confusion ?
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
Gotcha!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Explain.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
I got a diploma
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
Well, the dog did.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Dow
Re: Having kids.
You are very very wise Dow.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
"Play guitar." ~ in my mind comes one of those plastic guitars with the crank on the side...
"Fluting between Cork and Dublin." ~ "Flutterin'"? ~ are yez ever home? That's one hell of a stretch... How do you manage that and the necessary wind too?
"Play more in friends kitchens than in pubs." I hope your own kitchen will do for a stretch...and your lovely wife is amenable.
"Mainly fiddle, flute, bodhran, banjo ~ " I now have in vision one of those blokes on the street corner with cymbals strapped to his knees ~ the poor wee bairn...
" ~ and weekly sit-in." ~ I do hope you intend to learn the finer art of diaper changing. You might possibly be doing more standing than sitting in future...
But ~ I still think your offspring are blessed whatever kazoo you choose to play for them...
~ and I hope you learn a few songs too, the voice is a lovely thing, even in frogs and toads...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
I knew Dow would bite ~ and get the diploma...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Ah yes....I just play guitar and mandolin.
That bio was written a few years ago, maybe I should update it !
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
…and as for the songs, that when I’ll be teaching him/her to
how to buy a round !
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
Mandolin, ahhhhh.... One of my wife's favourites...and mine... If you get a picture of the new arrival on site anywhere let us all know... I've faith in you and know it will go well...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
"Tears and screaming" ~ Hell, if you've ever managed to survive a badly out of tune set of pipes a child's noise is child's play... Just try to teach them to do it in key...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Or have a capo always at hand...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Ours is only 6 months old but we both play and so far he has been a happy little onlooker. We are lucky enough to have a bandmate whose wife loves him and takes care of him when we play at their house. His first session (at our house) was when he was one week old.
Up until about 3 months he loved sitting in his "bouncy seat"- not sure what they're actually called but here's a link as an example. I think you'll have to cut and paste: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/602-4939748-4796649?_encoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B00020T3QA
and from about 5 months and continuing, he has this brilliant exersaucer- http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-2/qid=1152105764/ref=sr_1_2/602-4939748-4796649?%5Fencoding=UTF8&asin=B000BOKAKA Not as portable, sadly, but grand for house sessions.
Our music schedule has changed a little but not as much as I was fearing and I think the result of him being dragged hither and yon is that we now have an adaptable, happy baby. Or else he started out that way and we are slowly ruining him. Hmm...time will tell, I guess.
Anyway- congratulations!!!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by tara~the~fiddler
Re: Having kids.
Opinionated batchelors my arse!
If you go to:
http://www.odysseyoffran.uk.tt/
you'll see the result of my musical cradle-bashing (He's the one with the long hair and bunny ears)
Unfortunately the traditional stuff is taking a while to resurface and he has developed a penchant for singing Louis Prima songs, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time ....
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Having kids.
Commiserations Ottery... At least it gets him out of the house...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
It was Dow and John J who started in at the beginning, both without children themselves, except active and alive within... Ptarm was the first honest to God parent to come on thread here...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
You're making assumptions about my marital status, Ceolachan!
However, I only offered much the same advice as most people here that BegF should continue to enjoy his music with his children and wouldn't necessarily stop playing. It would just be a little different. That's all.
One of my biggest regrets in life is that my estranged father, an excellent musician, didn't bother to even keep in touch let alone encourage me to take a musical path. Otherwise, I might have been a much better player today.
So, I'd BegF and every other parent to encourage their children, in this respect.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Johannes J
Re: Having kids.
Oops, meant to say "I'd *urge* BegF"
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Johannes J
Re: Having kids.
Hi Beg F
,
First of all congratulations
, and although I'm not a parent myself, I will go by what my friends say, and they tell me the little one's love noise so much so that that they put on noisy appliances like hoovers to stop their cutie from crying, so I'm thinking that you don't have to worry - you'll just take out your instruments and start playing and the baby will be a very happy baby - you don't need hoovers - and depending on the baby's mood you can play lovely tender Irish lullabies or go into blasting session mode
.
However, on more serious note, your baby might indeed respond positively to musical stimuli so you might get more of a chance to play than you think - somehow most children take naturally to music given the chance. I have a hole bunch of neighbours' kids of varying ages who visit us to get the chance to try out my collection of whistles and my two plastic flutes (I won't give my wooden flute to a toddler - too afraid - hahaha... but I let the older ones have a go of course under my careful supervision).
To tell the truth, I always enjoy that time with the little ones... they are amazing... sometimes I can just sit in the garden and play the flute and sometimes the children come all quietly on their tiptoes as not to disturb me and without saying a word they sit down on the grass and just listen to the sound of the flute even though I can't play well... so I'm sure if it's your own child, you'll have many precious moments with him/her... and as the others here say, it will give you a wonderful opportunity to bond. As to sessions, I'm sure if you talk sensitively with your partner that you can come to an arrangement to give her time off to relax while you take care of the baby and in return she will offer you time off to go to a session while she looks after your son/daughter.
What's important is to be sensitive to her because the birth of a child is a joyful but also emotionally vulnerable time for a woman (and of course for a father too), and it will help if you reassure her that she and your child are more precious to you than your music or anything else for that matter which I know goes without saying but women do need this extra bit of reassurance from a man. So if that foundation is solid and she feels safe, then you have much to build on - i'm sure your partner will want you to be happy in the same way you want her to be happy which includes enabling each other to pursue other hobbies and outside activities - with you its music with your partner it might be something else - as long as you encourage and enable each other, you will be able to balance both your needs and the needs of your child; but of course with the arrival of baby change is inevitable - it will turn everything upside down and you will need to compromise but it doesn't have to turn into a painful sacrifice - again it comes down to balancing your needs and the needs of your wife and child.
Oh, dear, I sound like one of those agonising agony aunts
- so please, forgive me if anything I have said sounds patronising - I don't mean it like that - I'm just someone who when she starts waffling doesn't know when to stop.
Well, so now putting all my waffling aside - congratulations Beg F - you have so much to look forward too, so don't worry - given time things will fall into place
.
Warm regards,
Vanessa
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by vanessa
Re: Having kids.
Mine have all been with mum backstage every weekend untill they were old enough to toddle, then it was on to the dance-floor.
As soon as they were old enough to provide some rhythm, they were tamborine-ing and shaking in time (better than some who go regularly to sessions) untill they were old enough to take up instruments.
Needless to say, although they had played on stage, I wouldn't let them play in sessions until they had been playing for a few years.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by geoffwright
Re: Having kids.
I've just received a wonderful short video from Belgium of my 2-year old Belgian granddaughter and her 2-year old cousin dancing in front of the TV to Daniel Barenboim playing the lively last movement of a Mozart piano concerto.
That's catching 'em young!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by lazyhound
Re: Having kids.
I shall leave ye all on a short note.
This day last week I went to see a fortune teller who told me I am going to have 4 children and there will be twins, which they are in both sides of my family. I kinda laughed it off and myself and two friends of mine did the old wives tale of swinging a wedding ring on a chain over the other persons hand... what did I get TWINS and TWO more children. Freaked out. Now how am I going to play, Ill be a mother of twins!!!!
Ok ok im 20 and still have to find another half, but TWINS!!!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Sarfly
Re: Having kids.
Wats this got to do with Irish Traditional Music
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by oh
Re: Having kids.
Greetings:
I would say to bring your music into your family life immediately. You might be surprised at the warmth, fun, and closeness it brings.
I have two beautiful goddesschildren, one 5 and one 8.5 months old. They love the fiddle and the ridiculous songs I improvise for them ("Lauren and the rose, Lauren and the sun, Lauren and the daisy, Lauren and the moon" sung to the tune of "Bringing in the Sheaves.") Neither of them can get enough of hearing the fiddle. Nathan (5-year-old) is losing interest in dancing, but he still likes to hear me play, and he sings the songs I have made up for him. (Sunday, he asked me for "a dinosaur song," and I found myself improvising an opera for him.)
My best wishes for the times ahead.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by cathrynb
Re: Having kids.
BegF, first and foremost, let me add to the congratulations and best wishes on your impending fatherhood.
The fact is, there is just no way to anticipate or predict how your situation will turn out, how much time and effort you'll be able to put toward playing music -- and whether or not your offspring will develop similar interests.
My wife and I are musicians in the folk/traditional vein, and we exposed both our daughters to the music starting when they were in their first months. If we weren't taking them to concerts, festivals and the occasional session, we were playing and singing in our own parlor.
But even as infants, kids are seldom passive recipients of stimuli, as you will undoubtedly find out. Our girls had their own ideas about how they wanted to interact with us, and it didn't always necessarily include having a musical instrument as part of the mix. All well and good to be sitting there playing a jig set, but if your kid is plainly unhappy and wailing away because he/she wants something more than music's charms, well, there's not much point.
As our daughters got older and entered school-age, we continued trying to play as much of "our" music as possible. While they certainly liked some of what they heard, they wanted to have "their" music, stuff that appealed to their particular tastes and inclinations. So, we sought out family-oriented music that wasn't annoying and overly cute, and actually had some appeal to adults -- the likes of Sally Rogers, Rosenshontz and Tom Paxton. And so our own repertoire began to take on such songs, overshadowing the stuff we had played before.
There was so much other stuff going on in our lives, too, having to do with school and community, that we only had so much energy to spend on certain things. Some parents are able to balance all of these demands AND keep on playing their music, but for whatever reason, we didn't, or couldn't. On the one hand, I kind of wish it had been different, but that's just how things were and I'm not about to waste time fretting over roads not taken.
That said, I should add that our instruments weren't necessarily gathering dust for months at a time in the corner. I made a point of trying to get 'em out and run through songs and tunes as often as I could, and when my wife -- who tends to be focused on one or two things at a time -- could find it in herself, she would do so, too. But in truth, music did not occupy the same center as it had in our pre-child lives.
The good news is, when kids get older you have the opportunity to reclaim at least some of what you had. This in fact is what I've been doing the past several years, and in some ways, I'm more active -- and in a lot more areas -- musically than I was before I became a parent. My wife, on the other hand, has found other avenues for her creative energies and interests, so she hasn't really found her way back to the music. But we have enough muscle memory as a duo that we can get out the instruments and, without too much trouble, go through our repertoire.
As for kids "following in one's footsteps": Ours went through a period in late elementary and early middle school where they wanted to focus more on all the popular stuff all their friends and peers were listening to, so our house and car was filled with the sounds of Hanson, Spice Girls, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, ad nauseum (although they still liked going to the folk festival we attended every year).
But when they reached puberty, they began to look beyond the Top 40 detritus, and realized that some of the music Mom and Dad always liked and listened to was pretty good. Mind you, they will always have "their" music, but our orbits do intersect with some regularity, and it's great.
And while neither one of our girls has decided to take up fiddle or flute, they do have music in their lives. Our older one taught herself to play guitar, and she'll sit in her room and happily go through songs by Indigo Girls, Dar Williams, Ani DiFranco -- even Joni Mitchell or Simon & Garfunkel. Our younger one doesn't play an instrument, but she just loves to sing, and that's what she'll do, even if it's just for her own amusement. I couldn't be happier: No, we probably won't have a family band, but the main thing is that my kids derive enjoyment from music on their own terms.
Best of luck! And sorry for the long-windedness.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by sts
Re: Having kids.
First of all, congrats, BegF.
Don't worry too much, you'll still have a musical life after your baby arrives, but there WILL be changes. Mostly, they're good changes.
Nearly all babies like music and there will certainly be times when you'll be sitting up while the little person deals (loudly) with an upset tummy. A little music will help you keep your own sanity AND might help to calm down a colicky baby. (Not that much works!)
One of my fondest memories is of sitting in my office and playing my fiddle when I heard a small noise at the doorway. I looked up and saw Alex, there, quite happy with my playing.
He's got a rather severe disability, a lot like CP but with a different cause, and to make his way from the living room to the office was quite a feat for him! He's been my "favorite audience" ever since, and he's been going to sessions and music festivals with us for several years, now (he's 10). We use music (and musical toys), a lot, as a motivator when we're working with him.
I think there's a lot to what tara-the-fiddler says, Alex is also very adaptable and comfortable in new situations. Probably in large part because we didn't hesitate to take him to all sorts of places; not just musical events, but parks and museums and art galleries and aquariums....
Kids who get out a lot tend to be less fearful of the unknown.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by KeepFiddlin'
Re: Having kids.
Nice one sts. I enjoyed the read and sentiments.
John J ~ alright, you might be Mormon or a Sheikh with multiple wives or a harem for all I know...nice contributions whatever your marital state... Mostly I was doing my usual slag Dow's way, sorry I took you into that... "Bachelor' can be a state of mind, and I've known a good number of women who fit the caste...
With sts's fine contribution and those from others, it is amazing the friend music can be when it begins as a part of your early life, a growing appreciation. You don't have to play an instrument or follow the same genres as your original source, in this case BegF, but the seed is planted and may find root and fruit just in the joy someone gets from listening to their choice of CDs... Lucky kid to have those its family who make it live...how ever rought that might be. Some of the sweetest music I've ever heard in my whole life was 'rough' but from the heart...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
my 9 yr old son was a handfull as a baby and the only way I could stop him screaming was to play the mandolin next to his cot and it worked so there maybe time to play your instrument
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Ripthecalico
Re: Having kids.
sometimes kids have a way of doing what you don't want. My daughter will tell you she cut her teeth at the old Eagle Tavern in NYC, Listening to Flying Cloud, Monday night sessions, coming to my gigs etc. She seemed to have a good time, even as a 2-7 year old (til we moved out to the sticks). There were other kids there at times, but she liked adults too. Sometimes she slept in her stroller through it all.
Then at about 6 she wanted to learn fiddle, so I got her this gorgeous little fiddle (Fiddlefamily....it's the one I gave you last year!) but she really didn't take to it. She played flute in school band and had private lessons too, and seemed to be going somewhere with it, and dropped it at 14. She became the brainiac of the family amongst music antd art obsessed parents. Just lost interest.
Now she has a little two year old who was guitar obsessed as soon as she could walk. Her dad is a rock drummer, no interest in drums, but she makes me open up all the guitar cases in turn and strums. I got her a uke and she is actually learning the thumb and index finger picking pretty well, and I am astounded.
I wouldn't force it on them, just make it part of your daily life, some kids will take to it. I think at some point, even school band music lessons should be encouraged, just so they learn the language of music, they may go for it....so I wouldn't force, but would sure urge it heavily.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by irisnevins
Re: Having kids.
Having kids will impact your music -- and your whole life. What else is new? I've never had kids of my own, but I've lived long enough to watch many of my friends raise them. They go into it believing it's not going to affect their lives that much, but they always find out different. They'll insist that they'll still come to the sessions... and then they drop off. But it's not because they think having kids is a burden, but rather because it's a joy.
I have a friend whose child wouldn't allow her to play her mandolin since it appeared to compete for attention. The child would crawl into her lap as she was playing to bring the activity to a halt, and then throw a fit if that didn't work. The child eventually became a champion step dancer, but never took up playing an instrument. 2 nights ago I was at a music party at a friends house and playing tunes with some folks that included this child's mother. Her daughter is of college age now and asked if her and two friends could come and listen. They did, and they sat in the other room enjoying the music. When her mother was leading a lovely new tune that only one other person also knew, her daughter decided it was time to leave and came over to announce it to her mom as she was playing and interrupted her. My friend stopped without complaint, got up and said goodbye to her daughter and friends. Who else could get away with that sort of interruption? Only a beloved offspring of course.
This is what I'm always impressed by -- the unconditional love. It's powerful and will be what keeps you home on session nights, makes you go to your child's event rather than a festival you would never miss, and will fulfill you more than the music events you'll be missing ever could. But don't worry... eventually you'll be back.
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Having kids.
There are times in ones life as a parent when theresimply doesn't seem to be any time to make and enjoy music - don't worry, these times pass, like the times when you can't get them to sleep, or get enough for yourself.
Does your partner also play or enjoy the music? Then, as said before, just play the stuff to them, take them out to it when you can, parties, session, clubs, festivals - kids can sleep through this, but they also are absorbing it at the same time. There is no guarantee how they will turn out ( never is ), but feed them the good stuff and let them find out what they like.
AND, after what might seem like a very long time to you at the moment, but will actually fly by, they will LEAVE HOME, and you can start all over again.
My daughter loves everything from Alice Cooper to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. I reckon she turned out all right, even if she isn't morris dancing or playing the pipes.
PS went to a launch last night for the CD "Taking Note", from Meitheal Cheoil, basically ITM from teenagers in North London - the gig had the air of a school concert, but the music........some of these kids need serious stamping-on, they are too good already !
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Having kids.
PS I was lucky in that I always had the band, there were years when I only went out when I was paid, but these are past, and I am revitalised, and I think our partnership is also revitalised, and our social life, because we now get out to more live music, to play and to hear, as well as my having my band gigs.
Oh, and you can hear us briefly on
http://www.myspace.com.tanglefootuk
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Having kids.
Great stories here. You've a silk tongue button and weave words and ideas well...
Going back a few steps to Ripthecalico ~ what were the favourites tune wise? ~ for BegF's sake, since he's also on mandolin...
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Well said PB!
I didn't take up playing ITM until my son was 8, so the really demanding years (time-wise) were without that conflict. Now my son is 11 and reads a lot, so he's pretty independent; my wife does different music, so we are able to give eachother the time we we need, and lead independent musical lives. Some of my (non-musician) married friends are incredulous that I go out to a pub without my wife!
Sadly, my son has stopped playing music (recorder, then flute in school). Years ago I bought him a nifty Martin travel guitar (every kid needs a guitar, right?), but he hasn't yet felt the need to pick it up. I'm hoping, with our examples, that he'll return to playing music on his own.
I do wonder if our lives had as much music in them when he was younger as it does now, what effect that might have had.
So, BegF, I would do what PB's friend has done, and bring the sessions into your house for those early years.
Congratulations!
# Posted on July 5th 2006 by Keith Dubinsky
Re: Having kids.
BegF,
Congratulations! I’m really happy for you, possibly more than you realize. We have a wonderful six month old girl. (And congratulations to you too, tara-the-fiddler!) Having a baby should cut into your music time, but there’s no reason it should cut it off.
As far as having the time to practice (and if you can stomach any more advice), here’s a thought – read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0345440900/102-0142919-8933704?v=glance&n=283155
this has been the single most useful book on caring for our child we’ve found. It’s based on what the author calls the EASY principle. Yeah, I tend to hate corny acronymns, too. But it’s really helped us so far. Basically, it’s about recognising natural rhythms in a newborns day, cycling through (E)ating, (A)ctivity and (S)leep. And then there’s (Y)our time – time to recharge and do things you enjoy. It helps her mother and me to know when she cries whether she’s hungry, bored or just tired. It’s not a rigid structure, but it helps put some organization to the chaos. And it works. She’s happy and healthy. Most of the time our daughter goes to bed at 1000pm and sleeps till 730ish. She has a couple one-hour nap times during the day and I can take some time to work on tunes then as well.
I get up early in the morning to practice with a metal meisel mute on my fiddle. I would imagine using the “invisible pick” on the mando should work out similarly – you know, the technique of using the same hand position as you would to hold a pick, but using your index finger nail to pluck the strings. Very quiet. Create a little white noise if possible (I turn on the vent fan in the bathroom which is next to the baby’s room). I can play for an hour or more until I hear her stir. I think my favorite moment of the day is lifting her from her crib and singing to her as I change her diapers.
And of course, I’m married to an angel, so I still get out once a week to play, and maybe a couple more times a month for tunes with a former band mate. I think I’m playing about 75-80% of what I was pre-babe.
“Wats this got to do with Irish Traditional Music” - I hope that was just a joke, Km7 playing at being a cranky old coot. So much of this music is rooted in a sense of community and what’s more appropriate than a question about how to continue playing music while raising a family? Tradition doesn’t go too far without a few descendents
Our baby loves music. She lights up when I play the fiddle or tinwhistle, with a smile so sweet sometimes I think my head is going to explode! She gets really excited when her mom plays ukulele and sings to her. I must say, however, that the smallpipes produced a large lower lip followed by tears... Can’t figure out if she doesn’t like the instrument, or just doesn’t care to hear The Muckin’ O Geordie’s Byre butchered by her pa.
My but I do run on so. sorry.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by fidkid
Re: Having kids.
I still remember a fun evening, many years ago now, when my brother and I sat and sang and played all kinds of quite raucous tunes, drinking wine and having a laugh, it was only when I got up to go to the loo that I noticed the tiny baby niece asleep in the pram in the corner of the room. He had known she was there all along and knew she wouldn't wake. The secret is to start them early listening to the music. Have you ever heard a recording of the noises that the baby hears in the womb? Sounds like a very busy traffic junction with a few road works thrown in for good measure!. Honestly! If they can find that soothing they will soon take to anything you play, especially if its associated with their lovely Dad The sooner you start playing your instrument around them as normal (whether they are asleep or not) the better. They will accept it as the norm and not find it startling or unsettling. All the best Beg F and good luck in your new adventure.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by flossie
Re: Having kids.
Fidkin's recommended read ~ in case the link ever disappears:
"Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby"
by Tracy Hogg, Melinda Blau
"No event in an adult's life equals both the joy and the terror of becoming a parent for the first time..."
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Ballantine Books; Reprint edition (January 29, 2002)
ISBN: 0345440900
Damn, 466 reviews on Amazon.com, that's a lot...
I'm still enjoying these stories, heart warming, even if a certain gremlin is on my case over me calling folks 'bachelors' and congratulating procreation, as if the first were a slag and the second was a horse race won, or maybe better a mandolin contest and someone having taken first place... I like bachelors too, and I do realize it is the wife who deserves the greater appreciation of carrying the load for nine months and bearing the pain of delivery... But you know guys, we don't suffer anywhere near the same amoung, but even a cold becomes pneumonia, and we do suffer and worry so, in moaning if not in truth...
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
Look, John starts his at sessions young! http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-10/1097535/IrishSession(5).jpg
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by irishfiddler
Re: Having kids.
Congrats BegF. It is an exciting time. I know, we're expecting our fourth any day now. You'll hear a lot of stuff about how little time and sleep you'll have, but unless the critter's colicky, you should do fine. And babies really love live music.
Now my oldest daughter (5) desperately wants a tenor banjo. I'm going to have to try to rig one of those uke-banjos to GDAE.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by TaoCat
Re: Having kids.
I am laughing so hard @ Dow, I actually drooled on my keyboard. I'm saving my eggs for you, Dubg, you know that. Hey, what's the status with Beeb's sproglet? Still in utero, or has she brought it round with a 1/32 size fiddle yet? I know you will be the quintessential godfather... or, uh, craicfather. Or uh, something. PS congrats BegF!!!
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by emily_bmore
Re: Having kids.
If exposing your kid to music was effective in embedding an interest in a particular genre I'd be fascinated with a different Island and playing tunes with titles like, "Tiny Bubbles" right now.
http://www.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drg400/g433/g43356jdmsg.jpg
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by Phantom Button
Being a dad
This thread has now equalled the number of postings re having tune titles in english, but with far less vitriol.
Aaaaaaaah, bless.
"Being a dad can sure drive you mad, man it can drive you crazy
"It's as bad as it looks, you gotta read 'em dumb books
"And you end up despising Walt Disney"
( Loudon Wainwright 3 )
No time to write the whole song out.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Having kids.
A very belated congrats to you BegF.
I think you have more than enough advice here already.
Like a lot of things in life, it is really what you make of it (fatherhood). The trick is finding the balance between doing your thing and the family thing. If they can be one and the same it's easy.
Good luck.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by Donough
Re: Having kids.
Congratulation BegF. I'll say to you what a neighbour said to my better half and myself, upon hearing of our impending arrival some years ago. That was: " your life is about to change more than you can possibly imagine". Well, he was spot on. Sprogs will impact on your music - there's simply no way of avoiding that - however, that's no reason to stop altogether!
Best wishes.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by Ron P
Re: Having kids.
What's wrong with Don Ho and that traditional Hawaiian standard "Tiny Bubbles"? Let's all have a sing song then for the occassion, and we can easily adapt the words, how does the chorus start (this one's for Dow), chorus first ~
Congratulations and celebrations
When I tell everyone that I'm a dad to be
Congratulations and jubilations
I want the world to know I'm worried as can be. ~ etc...
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by ceolachan
Re: Having kids.
G. Pete - I was at the Meitheal Cheoil album launch the other night. I listened to the CD 1.5 times yesterday, and I'll be listening some more - and stealing some tunes from it.
Did you come upstairs to the little session afterwards? I was the big kid with the beard.
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by granama
Re: Having kids.
BegF,
Congratulations!!! on your upcoming fatherhood. I've read most of the postings above, and have to agree with most of the sentiments. My son was born a little over two years ago. Granted, I've never been the caliber of musician as most of the other folks who have already replied, but I do like to play, and try to play as often as I can. Unfortunately, my wife is not musical, so I can't say that music is "fully" integrated into our lives. But she is supportive of my passion, and is absolutely interested giving our son musical opportunities. As such, we've managed to integrate music into our family life reasonably well.
As for my experiences with music and fatherhood, I've had a few...
When my son was still an infant, I would take him to the local dance studio when my friends and I would rehearse playing for upcoming dance performances. No problem. He usually just laid there, in awe of all of the sights and sounds. Occasionally he would crawl a little too far out on the dance floor and get a bit close to some flying feet. No one seemed to mind when I skipped a few bars to drag him back to safety
My friend and I would play weekly at my house, she on fiddle, and me on flute. Nathan would just sleep right through it. He has always fallen asleep to Irish music.
At night, almost every night, I play tunes to him as he goes to sleep. That's about a half-hour to an hour of practice time every time I do it, because even after he falls asleep, I just keep on playing.
By far the most difficult thing was one time when I went to a workshop for a week, and was away from my wife and son. They were supposed to come a day later, but the weather turned lousy, so they stayed home. I was heartsick the whole week. The workshop was wonderful, but I just couldn't get that feeling of emptiness out of my gut.
The most heartwarming anecdote I can think of is... whenever I put Catherine McEvoy, or Matt Malloy, or June McCormack, et al, on the CD player. Nathan runs over, points to the speakers, jumps up and down in blubbering excitement and shouts, "DADDY!"
Do I have to tell you how happy that makes me???
Congratulations and best of luck to you and your family!
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by browndog
Re: Having kids.
Thanks to everyone for taking the time to write – We’ll be fine,
but it’s interesting reading all the different view points and
stories !
# Posted on July 7th 2006 by BegF
Welcome to Laragh!
Gorgeous little Laragh arrived August 6th in the wee hours of the morning. (I have not pointed out to BegF that this may in fact mean that she'll be a major night owl; he still has to get through the terrible twos and her pre-pubescent stages in one piece.) BegF reports that "this fatherhood thing is fantastic !" Congrats to mother, father, and Laragh herself.
Babies breaking out all over! (She really is a fetching little thing!)
# Posted on August 13th 2006 by Zina Lee
Re: Having kids.
Thanks Zina ! Yes she is gorgeous, and I'm only a little biased!
No sessions for me for a while but it's all worth it !
# Posted on August 16th 2006 by BegF
Re: Having kids.
Congrats and best wishes, BegF!
# Posted on August 16th 2006 by AlBrown
Re: Having kids.
A bit late, but congratulations, BegF & family!
# Posted on September 21st 2006 by fidkid