I did suggest drilling some holes in it and turning it into an occarina, the owner complined that the beads would fall out of it. That would be *such* a shame.
4. Sometimes the guitarist at our session will hold one in his right hand while he plays. It really has a pretty neat sound to it when used at the right time!
Threaten your children with them. Or at least pictures, or actual live session viewings of eggists. Lead them by their tiny innocent hands, into a session (a sh!te one of course, sporting bearers of the dreaded oval objects) and sternly warn them that if they don't do their required 6 hours hammered dulcimer, or 2 Hours Northumbrian/2Hours Uillean/2hours Gaita, or 10 hours fiddle... practice, then tough. That's how they WILL end up.
The very bottom of the session ladder.
My girl, of course, claims she doesn't like the music.
Take the hubcap off, put the egg in, put the hubcap back on. Everytime they move, they'll hear this noise, and every time they stop, it'll stop. (We used to do that with rice in the hubcap, actually.)
Attach it to the radiator of an enemy's car using Limberger cheese as the adhesive. (A friend of mine did this once, sans shakey egg, to enliven someone's camping honeymoon.)
Carry several in your pocket to throw at skateboarders who try to play chicken with you.
Use them to test the capacity of the blender you're thinking of buying.
Hide on, burn one, post one in a public place, and mail one to the California State Department of Furniture and Bedding in Sacramento. The post office will think you're even crazier than the people who read the Principia Discordia and send in their nose prints.
And I am not crazy. The voice of Eris Discordia in my head tells me so. I can't tell you what she just told me to do with a shakey egg though. I don't want a visit from the FBI.
fiddlekit! - is your guitarist holding a shakey egg, or is he using the wonderful "shakey egg plectrum", which is a shakey egg with a plectrum moulded onto one side.
My lady wife bought one about five years ago, but hasn't used it since the first time she tried it.
As for what to do with a shakey egg? Give it to a small child to play with. It entertains the child for a while and the egg gets covered in that sort of sticky goo with bits of rusk in it that small children deposit on all toys, rendering it too unpleasant for anyone ever to use it in a session.
Not many people know this but there is an expression "Shake a leg" which means "Get a move on".
Now, there was this bodhran player who had been going a bit deaf(with the beat) and his playing was a bit sluggish. When the fiddle player suggested that he should "Shake a leg", he thought that he'd said "Shake an *Egg*"
So, this is now why there are so many shakey egg players today. It's all part of the folk process!
Spin on table in middle of session (the egg, not you). Whoever the apex of the egg points to (that's the pointy end for the non technically minded) when said egg stops spinning starts the next tune/buys next round/brings the bodhrani to heel/stands in corner with the 'shakey egg of shame' (#20) hung round their neck.
Unpleasant to the hearers - yes. But to the player there is the pleasing roundness and comforting hand-sized-ness of the egg. This is what must be destroyed with infant goo.
We must take away the "comfort factor" from the shakey egg, so the player does not enjoy handling it.
Note also how bodhradists huddle over and cuddle their instruments, stroking the skin lovingly and rubbing their cheek against it - usually WITH EYES CLOSED.
Surely they've gotta be next up against the wall!
The revolution has started - Rise up my brothers (and sisters) and we will shake of the chains of unwanted percussion!
These pills are different from my usual ones, nurse.
Just to defend the poor shakey egg, I find tamborine players to be even more of an irritation. Shakey egg sounds kind of remind me of the hiss and pop I used to have on my favorite LP records when I was young. Kind of white noise. But a tamborine is just flat out intrusive.
Yes agree, and bongo or large drums!
I don't mean the bodhran, which I do like, but some of those drummers can give you a headache. So yes, shaky eggs are small fry.
I do own a pair of shakey eggs, bought to help some kids I was playing for to get more involved in the music. Is admitting that the first step toward recovery?
Isn't the Spanish slang for testicles huevos, ie, eggs. In that case I also own a pair of shakey eggs. Mint condition, but tried and tested, in working order. One careful owner. Been off-road for a wee while, though...
Shoes? Those smelly aging hippy wrinkly shakey egg beggars only ever wear sandals to go with their kaftans. And not only that, because they are all vegans and vegetarians they fart like thunder. And we're talking wet farts. And because they all smoke dope they're incontinent and the p!ss and diarhea dribbles down onto the athlete's foot infected sandals. I wouldn't knick their footwear (those that have any) if I was paid.
The same applies to all spoonists, bodhranists, guitarists and rhythm bazooky-ists. Especially if they are Northumbrian Antipodeans.
Now hold on there a minute big man!!! If you want to start a fight just say. As a guitarist who is currently forced into wearing sandals on medical grounds I take personal umbridge to that. As the saying goes - OUTSIDE NOW!!!!
Thread each shakey egg onto a knotted piece of string, and use as conkers.
Putting the eggs in the freezer, or soaking in vinegar is said to improve their strength and therefore performance, just as for the horse-chesnuts used in the original form of the game.
As an under-paid under-staffed orchestra teacher I have to be my own percussion section and have actually (gulp) played both shakey-egg and tambourine at the same time. Please don't hate me. I keep leaving the shakey-egg in plain view hoping someone will steal it. No-one, but no-one will. Sigh.
101 uses for a shakey egg
101 uses for a shakey egg
#1
Put in freezer for 1 hour. Instant relief for those troublesome haemorrhoids.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
OK, it's been a bad night.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
2.Boil it in some water, crack it on the table and stamp on it
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by ecidralla
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
someone turn up at your session with them or something? give us the juice
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by ecidralla
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
3
I did suggest drilling some holes in it and turning it into an occarina, the owner complined that the beads would fall out of it. That would be *such* a shame.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
4. Sometimes the guitarist at our session will hold one in his right hand while he plays. It really has a pretty neat sound to it when used at the right time!
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Fiddlekit
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
But is there a right time?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Why Bother?
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
5. Throw it at cars with Bush Cheney '04 stickers.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Why Bother?
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
No, it's better to use tomatoes, or at least egg-shaped peices of lead. Shakey eggs don't do anything but rattle and bounce off.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Zazzaliss
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Threaten your children with them. Or at least pictures, or actual live session viewings of eggists. Lead them by their tiny innocent hands, into a session (a sh!te one of course, sporting bearers of the dreaded oval objects) and sternly warn them that if they don't do their required 6 hours hammered dulcimer, or 2 Hours Northumbrian/2Hours Uillean/2hours Gaita, or 10 hours fiddle... practice, then tough. That's how they WILL end up.
The very bottom of the session ladder.
My girl, of course, claims she doesn't like the music.
Hanging around in the wrong company.
No other possible reason.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Rudall the time
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
#7
"Bend over and I'll show you."
(Clark W. Griswold)
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by _Steph_
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Force the egg into the gas tank of the largest SUV you can find; the noise will drive them crazy!! Or stuff it into the muffler resonator, ibid...
Its been a stressful day....
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by I_Fel
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Take the hubcap off, put the egg in, put the hubcap back on. Everytime they move, they'll hear this noise, and every time they stop, it'll stop. (We used to do that with rice in the hubcap, actually.)
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Attach it to the radiator of an enemy's car using Limberger cheese as the adhesive. (A friend of mine did this once, sans shakey egg, to enliven someone's camping honeymoon.)
Carry several in your pocket to throw at skateboarders who try to play chicken with you.
Use them to test the capacity of the blender you're thinking of buying.
Hide on, burn one, post one in a public place, and mail one to the California State Department of Furniture and Bedding in Sacramento. The post office will think you're even crazier than the people who read the Principia Discordia and send in their nose prints.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by sara g
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Ballast.
And I am not crazy. The voice of Eris Discordia in my head tells me so. I can't tell you what she just told me to do with a shakey egg though. I don't want a visit from the FBI.
KFG
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by KFG
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
What are you fnord doing in a bowling fnord alley at this time fnord of night, KFG? Unplug fnord that radio!
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by sara g
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Now returning those of you who have no idea what we're talking about to your regularly scheduled programming...
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by sara g
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
-Mix with ice cream and fruit in a blender for 'milk shakey'
-What about an earthquake warning device!!
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Donough
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
fiddlekit! - is your guitarist holding a shakey egg, or is he using the wonderful "shakey egg plectrum", which is a shakey egg with a plectrum moulded onto one side.
My lady wife bought one about five years ago, but hasn't used it since the first time she tried it.
As for what to do with a shakey egg? Give it to a small child to play with. It entertains the child for a while and the egg gets covered in that sort of sticky goo with bits of rusk in it that small children deposit on all toys, rendering it too unpleasant for anyone ever to use it in a session.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by showaddydadito
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
But they are already unpleasant for anyone ever to use in a session. Covering them in babie's sticky is an improvement.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Not many people know this but there is an expression "Shake a leg" which means "Get a move on".
Now, there was this bodhran player who had been going a bit deaf(with the beat) and his playing was a bit sluggish. When the fiddle player suggested that he should "Shake a leg", he thought that he'd said "Shake an *Egg*"
So, this is now why there are so many shakey egg players today. It's all part of the folk process!
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Johnny Jay
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
So we'll be hearing complaints now about people shaking legs at sessions....?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Innocent Bystander
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
I remember now ...
#19
The Shakey Egg of Destiny
Spin on table in middle of session (the egg, not you). Whoever the apex of the egg points to (that's the pointy end for the non technically minded) when said egg stops spinning starts the next tune/buys next round/brings the bodhrani to heel/stands in corner with the 'shakey egg of shame' (#20) hung round their neck.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Unpleasant to the hearers - yes. But to the player there is the pleasing roundness and comforting hand-sized-ness of the egg. This is what must be destroyed with infant goo.
We must take away the "comfort factor" from the shakey egg, so the player does not enjoy handling it.
Note also how bodhradists huddle over and cuddle their instruments, stroking the skin lovingly and rubbing their cheek against it - usually WITH EYES CLOSED.
Surely they've gotta be next up against the wall!
The revolution has started - Rise up my brothers (and sisters) and we will shake of the chains of unwanted percussion!
These pills are different from my usual ones, nurse.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by showaddydadito
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
I was thinking of setting up a charity were shaky eggs could be donated to bring comfort to broody but infertile hens.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Just to defend the poor shakey egg, I find tamborine players to be even more of an irritation. Shakey egg sounds kind of remind me of the hiss and pop I used to have on my favorite LP records when I was young. Kind of white noise. But a tamborine is just flat out intrusive.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by AlBrown
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Yes agree, and bongo or large drums!
I don't mean the bodhran, which I do like, but some of those drummers can give you a headache. So yes, shaky eggs are small fry.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Small fried shaky eggs?
Thats #21
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by showaddydadito
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Shaky egg over easy? Well, not on the ear
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Ever tried Shakey egg mayonnaise?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Rudall the time
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
I do own a pair of shakey eggs, bought to help some kids I was playing for to get more involved in the music. Is admitting that the first step toward recovery?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by AlBrown
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
No no no, you're not helping them, you're tempting them with the dark side ...
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Shakey Eggs would make perfect parachutes for their owners.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by BegF
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
You could have a shaky egg and spoon race!
It reminds me of the time when a session player asked a singer for a spoon solo - we wondered whether a spoon solo featured only the one spoon.
And maybe we could start getting someone like Uri Geller to help combat overenthusiastic spoon playing.
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Can you be fancy and get Faberge shaky eggs?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
I want one!
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by showaddydadito
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Would that be gold with inlaid mother of pearl sir?
On a spike, shaky eggs can become maracas, or make a great rattle (infant's rattle, not death rattle)
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Isn't the Spanish slang for testicles huevos, ie, eggs. In that case I also own a pair of shakey eggs. Mint condition, but tried and tested, in working order. One careful owner. Been off-road for a wee while, though...
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Rudall the time
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Do they make a jangly sound when you shake them?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Cath
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
". . .there is an expression "Shake a leg". . ."
I know a guitarist who tapes a pair of shakey eggs to his shoes.
KFG
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by KFG
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Does that make him a Morris Dancer, or just a bit eggcentric?
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by Conway
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Well he ain't no Morris Dancer.
Oh, and . . ."Boooooo! Hisssssssss!"
KFG
# Posted on August 19th 2005 by KFG
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Before you criticize a shaky eggster you should first walk a mile in their shoes.................
...........then you will be a mile away and have their shoes. They'll never catch up then!!
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by No Cause For Alarm
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
LOL --- ohhhh, Alistair, I just KNEW there would be a second half to that...! LOL
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by Zina Lee
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Shoes? Those smelly aging hippy wrinkly shakey egg beggars only ever wear sandals to go with their kaftans. And not only that, because they are all vegans and vegetarians they fart like thunder. And we're talking wet farts. And because they all smoke dope they're incontinent and the p!ss and diarhea dribbles down onto the athlete's foot infected sandals. I wouldn't knick their footwear (those that have any) if I was paid.
The same applies to all spoonists, bodhranists, guitarists and rhythm bazooky-ists. Especially if they are Northumbrian Antipodeans.
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by Rudall the time
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Now hold on there a minute big man!!! If you want to start a fight just say. As a guitarist who is currently forced into wearing sandals on medical grounds I take personal umbridge to that. As the saying goes - OUTSIDE NOW!!!!
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by No Cause For Alarm
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by No Cause For Alarm
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Although you do have a point about the rest of the crew you listed above - particularly those dodgy English folk from down under!!
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by No Cause For Alarm
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Commonly known as convicts around my way!!
# Posted on August 20th 2005 by No Cause For Alarm
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
nowhere near 101 yet... come ON people!
How 'bout:
Replacement tiles on the space shuttle...
or
Paint little palm trees and dancing girls on the side and sell them to unsuspecting tourists in Tijuana as "Macarena Eggs"
I don't even think we're 1/4 of the way to 101
Pete
# Posted on August 23rd 2005 by Reverend
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
Thread each shakey egg onto a knotted piece of string, and use as conkers.
Putting the eggs in the freezer, or soaking in vinegar is said to improve their strength and therefore performance, just as for the horse-chesnuts used in the original form of the game.
# Posted on August 26th 2005 by domhnall.
Re: 101 uses for a shakey egg
As an under-paid under-staffed orchestra teacher I have to be my own percussion section and have actually (gulp) played both shakey-egg and tambourine at the same time. Please don't hate me. I keep leaving the shakey-egg in plain view hoping someone will steal it. No-one, but no-one will. Sigh.
# Posted on August 27th 2005 by dmarie