Can only be George W on bazooka with Dick Chaney on the fiddle. They might play the "The Cheating Dirty Sparrow" (there is another name but I wanted to keep this apolitical).
I heard George once brought his piano accordian to someone else's session and basically took over, just because he heard rumors that they were going to start using shaky eggs. The original session leader left in disgust. They never did find the shaky eggs; however, George told them they were still better off because the previous leader was bossy, played too many polkas, and was never in tune. The day he arrived, the punters tried to persuade George it wasn't fair to disrupt the session like that, but George said it was a session not a performance and so he wasn't about to take advice from mere punters.
The session still goes on, but no-one really enjoys it because you can't hear any of the other instruments over George's brash accordian playing. The banjo player is quite resentful of the whole thing and grumbles and tries to start tunes that George doesn't know but, you know, you just can't drown out a piano accordian.
The pub owner is trying to organize something so he can replace George with John, another loud player, so people will be at least a bit happier. But John can't seem to decide whether to play the pipes, the fiddle, or the bodhran, and in any case he once said the session is in the wrong pub at the wrong time so he may have trouble in being taken seriously.
Meanwhile, in a pub just across the street, there's a session going with five bodhrans, eight shaky eggs, and a bunch of rainsticks. Some believe George should go and show them the right way to organize a session, but it's a biker bar and George is a bit concerned he'll get cut up over there.
george likes to play The Bird in the Bush, The Dogs Among the Bushes, The Old Bush
clintons repertoire includes The Crack in the Flute, The Five Pound Flute, Jenny Picking COCKles and The Stain on the Frock
Hey Grego, I heard that George isn't actually playing that accordion -- it's really just a remote speaker to Chaney's accordion that he's playing from a hidden room. All George is doing is moving his fingers around.
I've heard that too, Jack, but I'm not sure what to believe. Other people will tell you George comes by it from a strong tradition, but he's not nearly as good a player as his father was. Apparently neither of them has a good understanding of session etiquette, though, and both have been heard randomly and loudly noodling when others were trying to play a slow air.
We'd better all be careful what we say around here. Otherwise, there might be a quantity of precision cruise missiles heading for our local hostelries with the possibility of collaterol damage within the kebab shop next door.
True, the last thing we want is for ITM to get itself on the list of *whispering* terrorist activities! They can already monitor your library activity and tap your phone. Soon they will be monitoring the tunes in your tunebook to make sure they don't have subversive names, like Comb Your Hair and Curl It (Are they talking about The President?), or Granny Hold the Candle While I Shave the Chicken's Lip (That HAS to be a secret code!)
If Chaney, Rummy, Pearl, Bush, and Wolfawitz did start a session -- it would be called the "Session for the New American Century." Their tunes will be the only ones allowed at any session around the world. And any tune source will be taken over and that session leader will be overthrown -- even if no shakey eggs are found. Then they will put their own session leader there -- even if he just plays shakey eggs. The way they will keep sessioneers voting for their session is to tell lies about how shakey egg cutlery players are going to crash their session any moment.
Good idea for this thread, but no tunes would actually be played at a White House session. All they can do is repeat the same short phrases over and over and over...
The report has just been published and it has been confirmed that there were never ever any "Instruments of Mass Destruction" at the Baghdad session, shakey eggs, bodhran, spoons, ocarinas, bongos, ouds, recorders or whatever.
Over my dead body- Dick Cheny will never play UP. He'd outsource them to the mid east and charge a fortune. Probably bid on a Rowsome set and then set them aside.
We're all going to have to buy Halliburton intstruments, speaking of Cheney. Here's the process: You send them a couple million dollars for a bazouki and they send you a post card saying "What couple million dollars? We never got any couple million dollars. You need to get your facts straight."
The CIA got it slightly wrong - the WMD really referred to "Weapons of Mass Distraction" which is a term used commonly in the Middle East to describe bodhráns. The focus should now turn to locating these instruments and neutralising them before they get into the hands of desperate session-wreckers.
I think if you examine the Bush administrations National Session Security Strategy (NSSS) you'll see that both bodhrans and shaky eggs are listed as potential threats. Battalions of military spies using anti bodhran and shaky egg detection devices have been dispatched around the world to preemptively attack and destroy any training camps or manufacturing facilities. What they don't tell you is that they have manufacturing facilities as well as training camps right here on US soil that are training session dictators and shaky egg guerrillas to be installed at sessions in any other country they wish to overthrow. Much of the funding comes from trading shaky eggs and bodhrans for illegal drugs, like cocaine, which is then converted to “craic” and sold at local opposition sessions.
No no no, bannerman... the government will definately have you on their hit list if you suggest such things -- they need the goats to carry out their plans.
George W used be into the old cocaine in his younger days, I'm told. Bill Clinton was a clean living lad who "didn't inhale". You know, these politicians must think we're all really stupid.
White House session
White House session
If George W and friends held an election night session in the White House, who do you think would play what????
George W on Bodhran
John Kerry on bouzouki
Dick Cheney on uillean pipes
John Edwards on piano accordion
maybe, who knows - what do you think?
BTW this is intended to be apolitical!
Nick
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by nick b
Re: White House session
Can only be George W on bazooka with Dick Chaney on the fiddle. They might play the "The Cheating Dirty Sparrow" (there is another name but I wanted to keep this apolitical).
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Cuso
Re: White House session
Donald Rumsfeld on "Instruments of Mass destruction"
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
I know that Bill Clinton liked to blow his horn - or something like that....
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by nick b
Re: White House session
I thought Monica used to blow his flute or whatever.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
Will they be playing any Kerry slides ?
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by murfbox
Re: White House session
Ronald Reagan on bones
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
Hilary Clinton on the fiddle, sorry violin ... I nearly "landed" myself in it.
And not forgetting Tony Bliar on the lyre (did I spell that correctly?).
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by geoffwright
Re: White House session
You didn't spell it correctly.
I think George Bush should be on the lyre--but I believe when he plays it it is spelled "liar."
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by grymater
Re: White House session
I think George Bush and John Kerry would be on duelling banjos...
Along with Bill Clinton blowin' the harMONICA this time round.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Paul Godfray
Re: White House session
I heard George once brought his piano accordian to someone else's session and basically took over, just because he heard rumors that they were going to start using shaky eggs. The original session leader left in disgust. They never did find the shaky eggs; however, George told them they were still better off because the previous leader was bossy, played too many polkas, and was never in tune. The day he arrived, the punters tried to persuade George it wasn't fair to disrupt the session like that, but George said it was a session not a performance and so he wasn't about to take advice from mere punters.
The session still goes on, but no-one really enjoys it because you can't hear any of the other instruments over George's brash accordian playing. The banjo player is quite resentful of the whole thing and grumbles and tries to start tunes that George doesn't know but, you know, you just can't drown out a piano accordian.
The pub owner is trying to organize something so he can replace George with John, another loud player, so people will be at least a bit happier. But John can't seem to decide whether to play the pipes, the fiddle, or the bodhran, and in any case he once said the session is in the wrong pub at the wrong time so he may have trouble in being taken seriously.
Meanwhile, in a pub just across the street, there's a session going with five bodhrans, eight shaky eggs, and a bunch of rainsticks. Some believe George should go and show them the right way to organize a session, but it's a biker bar and George is a bit concerned he'll get cut up over there.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by grego
Re: White House session
Instruments of mass destruction.... now there is a potentially contentious thread
what am i bid for a rolling banjo barrage, scud bodhran launchers, apache attack accordions etc etc
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by nick b
Re: White House session
george likes to play The Bird in the Bush, The Dogs Among the Bushes, The Old Bush
clintons repertoire includes The Crack in the Flute, The Five Pound Flute, Jenny Picking COCKles and The Stain on the Frock
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by anniejryan
Re: White House session
Osama Bin Laden on shaky eggs
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
Osama's favourite tune "The trip to Pakistan" or "You can't catch me".
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
Saddam Insane playing the Hangman's Reel
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Paul Godfray
Re: White House session
Hey Grego, I heard that George isn't actually playing that accordion -- it's really just a remote speaker to Chaney's accordion that he's playing from a hidden room. All George is doing is moving his fingers around.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
I've heard that too, Jack, but I'm not sure what to believe. Other people will tell you George comes by it from a strong tradition, but he's not nearly as good a player as his father was. Apparently neither of them has a good understanding of session etiquette, though, and both have been heard randomly and loudly noodling when others were trying to play a slow air.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by grego
Re: White House session
We'd better all be careful what we say around here. Otherwise, there might be a quantity of precision cruise missiles heading for our local hostelries with the possibility of collaterol damage within the kebab shop next door.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
True, the last thing we want is for ITM to get itself on the list of *whispering* terrorist activities! They can already monitor your library activity and tap your phone. Soon they will be monitoring the tunes in your tunebook to make sure they don't have subversive names, like Comb Your Hair and Curl It (Are they talking about The President?), or Granny Hold the Candle While I Shave the Chicken's Lip (That HAS to be a secret code!)
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: White House session
If Chaney, Rummy, Pearl, Bush, and Wolfawitz did start a session -- it would be called the "Session for the New American Century." Their tunes will be the only ones allowed at any session around the world. And any tune source will be taken over and that session leader will be overthrown -- even if no shakey eggs are found. Then they will put their own session leader there -- even if he just plays shakey eggs. The way they will keep sessioneers voting for their session is to tell lies about how shakey egg cutlery players are going to crash their session any moment.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
And of course you'd need to sign an oath of allegiance before they let you into the pub, where you would be frisked.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: White House session
Don't look now, but approximately 80% of the non-US human race holds similar opinions.
Seriously. Dubya is the least popular and least respected US president in history, world wide.
So if the CIA is trying to monitor anti-Bush sentiment, they've got their hands FULL.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by s1m0n
Re: White House session
What do you think their plan is for tackling the recession? Think of all those JOBS! Surveillance is a growth industry these days.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: White House session
They're probably out-sourcing those jobs.
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
Good idea for this thread, but no tunes would actually be played at a White House session. All they can do is repeat the same short phrases over and over and over...
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by IC Keith
Re: White House session
Read my lips - no new tunes
I guess they would dig out the ol' warhorses!
Kerry Polka anyone?
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by nick b
Re: White House session
Will Tony be there as a guest player with his guitar?
Trevor
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Trevor Jennings
Re: White House session
The way things are going, perhaps Tony will need to polish up his guitar technique with a view to a day job.
Trevor
# Posted on October 6th 2004 by Trevor Jennings
Re: White House session
The report has just been published and it has been confirmed that there were never ever any "Instruments of Mass Destruction" at the Baghdad session, shakey eggs, bodhran, spoons, ocarinas, bongos, ouds, recorders or whatever.
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
And ould Bill Clinton's still enjoying the craic...
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Ottery
Re: White House session
Right John, but they intended to keep their program to make shaky eggs.
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
I would play hooky.
stv
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by stv culchie
Re: White House session
Over my dead body- Dick Cheny will never play UP. He'd outsource them to the mid east and charge a fortune. Probably bid on a Rowsome set and then set them aside.
JK should play Slieve Luchara (sp???)
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by I_Fel
Re: White House session
We're all going to have to buy Halliburton intstruments, speaking of Cheney. Here's the process: You send them a couple million dollars for a bazouki and they send you a post card saying "What couple million dollars? We never got any couple million dollars. You need to get your facts straight."
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Kerri Brown
Re: White House session
I don't think W would be intelligent enough to play an instrument...he'd probably attempt to play spoons...and fail miserably...
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Crysania
Re: White House session
I think George W must have used "Amazing slowdowner" on his brain
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
The CIA got it slightly wrong - the WMD really referred to "Weapons of Mass Distraction" which is a term used commonly in the Middle East to describe bodhráns. The focus should now turn to locating these instruments and neutralising them before they get into the hands of desperate session-wreckers.
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Bannerman
Re: White House session
I think if you examine the Bush administrations National Session Security Strategy (NSSS) you'll see that both bodhrans and shaky eggs are listed as potential threats. Battalions of military spies using anti bodhran and shaky egg detection devices have been dispatched around the world to preemptively attack and destroy any training camps or manufacturing facilities. What they don't tell you is that they have manufacturing facilities as well as training camps right here on US soil that are training session dictators and shaky egg guerrillas to be installed at sessions in any other country they wish to overthrow. Much of the funding comes from trading shaky eggs and bodhrans for illegal drugs, like cocaine, which is then converted to “craic” and sold at local opposition sessions.
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
Prevention is sometimes better than cure; maybe they should "nip it in the bud" and shoot all the goats before they grow up to be bodhráns!
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Bannerman
Re: White House session
No no no, bannerman... the government will definately have you on their hit list if you suggest such things -- they need the goats to carry out their plans.
# Posted on October 7th 2004 by Phantom Button
Re: White House session
Well who would have thought of there being craic at the white house!
# Posted on October 8th 2004 by nick b
Re: White House session
George W used be into the old cocaine in his younger days, I'm told.
Bill Clinton was a clean living lad who "didn't inhale". You know, these politicians must think we're all really stupid.
# Posted on October 8th 2004 by John J.
Re: White House session
Clearly, craic is far more dangerous - no politician has even owned up to participating in a dangerous craic session
we can but live in hope
# Posted on October 8th 2004 by nick b