My reasons are immaterial, but suffice to say that on Monday just gone, I fell into the Cherwell river, in Oxford, UK. I was trying to cross a bridge by climbing under it, and fell. As I said, my reasons are immaterial.
The point is that while I was in the water, my Chieftain high D whistle must have slipped out of my pocket (not clever, I know). This is a very sad thing, as I was fond of that whistle, ridiculously loud and breath-consuming as it was, and now life just won't be the same without it.
I guess a minor consolation, and minute glimmer of hope, is that the whistle was made of stainless aluminium, and was not tunable, so it was in one piece. The point being, it will stay in working condition on that river-bed for a good few years!
So... the message is: if any of you fall into the Cherwell river (or possibly even the Thames - the Cherwell is one of its tributaries), and you accidentally chance upon a Chieftain non-tunable high D whistle - or you're out fishing, and you accidentally land one - then, chances are, it's mine.
There are some people who make a living by recovering things dropped overboard by the yachting fraternity. It might be worth making inquiries. On the other hand, they are quite rich.
You travelled under, not over, the bridge because it was a slatted footbridge and a pretty undergraduette was approaching, wearing a long skirt and a thong.
You were p***ed at the time.
The whistle did not fall out of your pocket. You let go of it when your hand was stamped on, after you had attempted an act of unprovoked and intimate molestation with it, having a perverted desire to frighten the said young lady out of her wits.
I have encountered many of your sort, wasn't born yesterday.
Expect the learned Judge to condemn you to drinking eighteen pints of Morrells in quick succession - and if it comes back, it has to go down again - not that anyone would know the difference.
Police frogmen will find it next time they're down there looking for a body, and take it in as a suspicious object.
So, give it a month or so and try the cop-shop.
You may be flung in the nick for 90 days with a lot of bewildered foreign people while your house is sent to be unpicked and lost in a nightclub, but if you're not prepared to go through this for a good whistle, you don't deserve to have one!
"Police *frogmen*", Nicholas? The term "frogmen" (meaning divers) went out of use in about 1945. Except by the BBC, who kept on using the term in news bulletins until fairly recently.
I couldn't. I lack the work ethic, my insaner ambitions run in other directions, sound-system spaghetti terminally confuses me, I lack connections (though my dad *did* in fact work for it nearly 70 years ago), and I wish Israel to remain in existence. These would be grave obstacles to my getting a job at the BBC. Plus being 56, of course.
Deep with the latest dead lies the Chieftain High D whistle,
Robed in the long friends (though I really think it's fronds...),
The grains beyond age, the dark veins of her mother,
Secret by the unmourning water
Of the riding Thames.
After the first Chieftain High D whistle, there is no other.
Whistle in the River...
Whistle in the River...
My reasons are immaterial, but suffice to say that on Monday just gone, I fell into the Cherwell river, in Oxford, UK. I was trying to cross a bridge by climbing under it, and fell. As I said, my reasons are immaterial.
The point is that while I was in the water, my Chieftain high D whistle must have slipped out of my pocket (not clever, I know). This is a very sad thing, as I was fond of that whistle, ridiculously loud and breath-consuming as it was, and now life just won't be the same without it.
I guess a minor consolation, and minute glimmer of hope, is that the whistle was made of stainless aluminium, and was not tunable, so it was in one piece. The point being, it will stay in working condition on that river-bed for a good few years!
So... the message is: if any of you fall into the Cherwell river (or possibly even the Thames - the Cherwell is one of its tributaries), and you accidentally chance upon a Chieftain non-tunable high D whistle - or you're out fishing, and you accidentally land one - then, chances are, it's mine.
Thanks!
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by Joe CSS
Re: Whistle in the River...
What will you play if it ever turns up? Give us a Drink of Water? Out on the Ocean? The possibilities are endless.....
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by AlBrown
Re: Whistle in the River...
There are some people who make a living by recovering things dropped overboard by the yachting fraternity. It might be worth making inquiries. On the other hand, they are quite rich.
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by gam
Re: Whistle in the River...
Over the Waterfall ?
The Bridge of Athlone ?
That Richard Thompson song Dragging the River ?
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by Guernsey Pete
Re: Whistle in the River...
You travelled under, not over, the bridge because it was a slatted footbridge and a pretty undergraduette was approaching, wearing a long skirt and a thong.
You were p***ed at the time.
The whistle did not fall out of your pocket. You let go of it when your hand was stamped on, after you had attempted an act of unprovoked and intimate molestation with it, having a perverted desire to frighten the said young lady out of her wits.
I have encountered many of your sort, wasn't born yesterday.
Expect the learned Judge to condemn you to drinking eighteen pints of Morrells in quick succession - and if it comes back, it has to go down again - not that anyone would know the difference.
Inspector Morse.
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Whistle in the River...
Well, I've heard of a Swanee whistle, but never of a Cherwell whistle ...
... and it might be worth pointing out to all those oiks that the name of that river is pronounced "Charwell" ....
... and also if they go trolling for that whistle in a punt, they had better make sure that they pole it from the "correct" end ...
# Posted on April 17th 2009 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Whistle in the River...
Police frogmen will find it next time they're down there looking for a body, and take it in as a suspicious object.
So, give it a month or so and try the cop-shop.
You may be flung in the nick for 90 days with a lot of bewildered foreign people while your house is sent to be unpicked and lost in a nightclub, but if you're not prepared to go through this for a good whistle, you don't deserve to have one!
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Whistle in the River...
"Police *frogmen*", Nicholas? The term "frogmen" (meaning divers) went out of use in about 1945. Except by the BBC, who kept on using the term in news bulletins until fairly recently.
Do you work for the BBC, by any chance?
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by Mix O'Lydian
Re: Whistle in the River...
@Mix:
I couldn't. I lack the work ethic, my insaner ambitions run in other directions, sound-system spaghetti terminally confuses me, I lack connections (though my dad *did* in fact work for it nearly 70 years ago), and I wish Israel to remain in existence. These would be grave obstacles to my getting a job at the BBC. Plus being 56, of course.
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Whistle in the River...
on the other hand though, probably everyone knew what you meant anywho, and if they didn't then they probably dont understand a whole lot....
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by steve...r
Re: Whistle in the River...
she is with her mother now, in her original state. Don't be greived, besides, if she doesn't come back, it was never meant to be... sniff
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by fedorastain
Re: Whistle in the River...
Were you by chance chasing a white rabbit? The stories on this site get curiouser and curiouser...
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by Reverend
Re: Whistle in the River...
One of my criteria for instantly writing off a song or songwriter is *any* reference to "Alice In Wonderland".
Though Bob Dylan gets away with it, as with most things.
# Posted on April 18th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Whistle in the River...
Deep with the latest dead lies the Chieftain High D whistle,
Robed in the long friends (though I really think it's fronds...),
The grains beyond age, the dark veins of her mother,
Secret by the unmourning water
Of the riding Thames.
After the first Chieftain High D whistle, there is no other.
R.I.P., mine's eighteen whiskys please - Dylan Thomas.
# Posted on April 19th 2009 by nicholas
Re: Whistle in the River...
Dear Joe
I have a trained Pike....need I say more?
Give me a ring...
# Posted on April 20th 2009 by skin&bow
Re: Whistle in the River...
Bring it on, mtodd!
And if that doesn't work, I may just have to call in the Marines...
# Posted on April 20th 2009 by Joe CSS
Re: Whistle in the River...
A rat trained to lure whistles - kind of like the Pied Piper in reverse?
# Posted on April 21st 2009 by Bredna
Re: Whistle in the River...
Joe you always lose stuff!
Dear oh dear mate, first your awesome camera at Towersey and now that fabulous whistle...better do some busking to get some money to buy another.
Btw, give me a text or Facebook message coz you're welcome to come stay in Manchester for a bit...I guess Jeremy is back too? Would be good to meet up
# Posted on April 25th 2009 by D.J.F.