Best trad joke ever (you've probably heard it, but just in case...):
A man walks into a chip shop and says, "I'd like a steak and kiddely pie, please."
Young lady behind the counter says, "Excuse me?"
"I'd like a steak and kiddely pie."
"I'm sorry sir, what did you say?"
"I'D LIKE A STEAK AND KIDDELY PIE!!"
"Do you mean 'steak and kidney' pie?"
"I said kiddely, diddle i?!"
A fellow walking into a pub says: "Do you want to hear my latest accordion joke?" "Now, I play the accordion" says the bartender, a large strapping fellow."That gentleman at the end of the bar, the one who look like a logger, he plays the accordion. And that big gentleman playing darts over there, he plays the accordion. Do you still want to tell your joke?" "No, I don't feel like explaining it three times."
What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test? drool...
An accordion and a trampoline? You are supposed to take off your shoes before jumping on the trampoline.
Why is a fiddler like a terrorist? They both f**k up bowings.
Q: How do you know if there is a bodhran player at your door ?
A: The knocking always speeds up.
Yes, the punch line is magnificent. The instrument of the joke could be changed from accordeon to something else, depending on the audience. I won't mention the obvious choice!
OK. So a bodhran player walks into a pub and says, "Do you want to hear my latest accordion joke?" "Now, I play the accordion" says the bartender, a large strapping fellow."That gentleman at the end of the bar, the one who look like a logger, he plays the accordion. And that big gentleman playing darts over there, he plays the accordion. Do you still want to tell your joke?" "No, I don't feel like having it explained to me four times."
2) I was at the session last night and ended up sitting between two accordeon players. You would'nt reed about it.
3)Paddy the piper placed his pipes on the table last night, and somehow they started moving of their own accord. "Paddy," I said."Look, the pipes, the pipes, they're crawling".
Before the Bush administration leaves, an auto bailout will be passed by the executive branch with the stipulation that the big three motor companies create a new car called, the "Autocrat."
There was a fiddler in Ireland who was sick of hearing Frankie Gavin. Turn on the radio- there was Frankie Gavin. Turn on the television- there was Frankie Gavin.
So one day this fiddler dies and meets St Peter at the Pearly Gates. Perhaps now he can get some relief from hearing Frankie Gavin all the time, but just to make sure, he asks St Peter, "Is Frankie Gavin still among the living?"
"Oh yes, still among the living and doing quite well."
Relieved to hear this, the fiddler now begins to be shown around Heaven by St Peter.
To his astonishment, as they are walking down one street, sure enough the old fiddler can hear the sound of Frankie Gavin's playing coming out of one of the houses.
"I thought you said Frankie Gavin was still among the living!!! But sure enough I can hear him playing in that house!"
"Oh, that's not Frankie Gavin playing" replied St Peter. That's God. He only THINKS he's Frankie Gavin."
Dolly Parton and the Queen of England arrived at the pearly gates on the same day. St. Peter met them and said, "you will both have to prove why you deserve to enter. We can only accept one more to meet today's quota."
Immediately, Dolly lifted her blouse and flashed her breasts.
She replied, "the angels will enjoy looking at this lovely pair everyday that I'm in heaven.
St. Peter looked at the Queen and waited for her response. The Queen opened her purse and pulled out a bottle of Perrier water. Then, she opened it, took a swig, gargled and flushed it down the commode. St. Peter nodded at the Queen with approval and allowed her to enter.
Dolly was shocked and asked St. Peter, "why did you allow the Queen to enter?" St. Peter replied, "a royal flush is always better than a pair!"
Best Trad Joke Ever
Best Trad Joke Ever
Best trad joke ever (you've probably heard it, but just in case...):
A man walks into a chip shop and says, "I'd like a steak and kiddely pie, please."
Young lady behind the counter says, "Excuse me?"
"I'd like a steak and kiddely pie."
"I'm sorry sir, what did you say?"
"I'D LIKE A STEAK AND KIDDELY PIE!!"
"Do you mean 'steak and kidney' pie?"
"I said kiddely, diddle i?!"
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Chrishty
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
this was my exwifes favourate joke........maybe worst joke ever to me
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by bazouki dave
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
I wanted to contribute money to thesession.org but I got my credit card mixed up with my Donor Card.
Cost me an arm and a leg
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Bren
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
ha
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by 52Paddy
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
A fellow walking into a pub says: "Do you want to hear my latest accordion joke?" "Now, I play the accordion" says the bartender, a large strapping fellow."That gentleman at the end of the bar, the one who look like a logger, he plays the accordion. And that big gentleman playing darts over there, he plays the accordion. Do you still want to tell your joke?" "No, I don't feel like explaining it three times."
What did the banjo player get on his IQ (or SAT) test? drool...
An accordion and a trampoline? You are supposed to take off your shoes before jumping on the trampoline.
Why is a fiddler like a terrorist? They both f**k up bowings.
Q: How do you know if there is a bodhran player at your door ?
A: The knocking always speeds up.
Swiped from
http://larkinthemorning.com/article.asp?AI=53&bhcd2=1229113690
and edited slightly…
# Posted on December 12th 2008 by Pat Mustard
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
The one about the three accordionists is a good one!
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Yes, the punch line is magnificent. The instrument of the joke could be changed from accordeon to something else, depending on the audience. I won't mention the obvious choice!
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by Trevor Jennings
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
OK. So a bodhran player walks into a pub and says, "Do you want to hear my latest accordion joke?" "Now, I play the accordion" says the bartender, a large strapping fellow."That gentleman at the end of the bar, the one who look like a logger, he plays the accordion. And that big gentleman playing darts over there, he plays the accordion. Do you still want to tell your joke?" "No, I don't feel like having it explained to me four times."
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by GaryAMartin
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
1)Accordeon players should B/C and not heard
2) I was at the session last night and ended up sitting between two accordeon players. You would'nt reed about it.
3)Paddy the piper placed his pipes on the table last night, and somehow they started moving of their own accord. "Paddy," I said."Look, the pipes, the pipes, they're crawling".
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by Tony O'Rourke
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Accordeon players should Be Cwyet.
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by nicholas
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
What do you call a concertina player without an anus?
Nil Hole.
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by continuo
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
How do you get two bodhrán players to play in unison?
Shoot one of them.
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by continuo
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Why stop at one though?
# Posted on December 13th 2008 by bogman
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Before the Bush administration leaves, an auto bailout will be passed by the executive branch with the stipulation that the big three motor companies create a new car called, the "Autocrat."
# Posted on December 14th 2008 by Leendah
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Be careful with your suggestions, Leendah, they might actually try to do something that stupid.
# Posted on December 15th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
A Banjo player and a Bodhran player fall off a cliff..
The big question is: "Who's gonna hit the bottom first???"
The answer: "Who the hell cares???"
# Posted on December 16th 2008 by thesheep
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
There was a fiddler in Ireland who was sick of hearing Frankie Gavin. Turn on the radio- there was Frankie Gavin. Turn on the television- there was Frankie Gavin.
So one day this fiddler dies and meets St Peter at the Pearly Gates. Perhaps now he can get some relief from hearing Frankie Gavin all the time, but just to make sure, he asks St Peter, "Is Frankie Gavin still among the living?"
"Oh yes, still among the living and doing quite well."
Relieved to hear this, the fiddler now begins to be shown around Heaven by St Peter.
To his astonishment, as they are walking down one street, sure enough the old fiddler can hear the sound of Frankie Gavin's playing coming out of one of the houses.
"I thought you said Frankie Gavin was still among the living!!! But sure enough I can hear him playing in that house!"
"Oh, that's not Frankie Gavin playing" replied St Peter. That's God. He only THINKS he's Frankie Gavin."
# Posted on December 18th 2008 by Richard D Cook
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
How do you stop someone who tells bodhran/accordion jokes from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
# Posted on December 18th 2008 by Conán McDonnell
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
How can you tell if someone can't take a joke?
They play the feckin bodhran
# Posted on December 18th 2008 by llig leahcim
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
How can you tell if someone doesn't get out much?
They tell Frankie Gavin/god jokes.
# Posted on December 18th 2008 by llig leahcim
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
The definition of ' perfect pitch ' hitting the skip with the banjo first time at 25 paces, and smashing an accordion and a bodhran when it lands.
What do you call 3 bodhrans on the bottom of the sea ?
a start.
Dave H
# Posted on December 20th 2008 by Dave Hanson
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Dolly Parton and the Queen of England arrived at the pearly gates on the same day. St. Peter met them and said, "you will both have to prove why you deserve to enter. We can only accept one more to meet today's quota."
Immediately, Dolly lifted her blouse and flashed her breasts.
She replied, "the angels will enjoy looking at this lovely pair everyday that I'm in heaven.
St. Peter looked at the Queen and waited for her response. The Queen opened her purse and pulled out a bottle of Perrier water. Then, she opened it, took a swig, gargled and flushed it down the commode. St. Peter nodded at the Queen with approval and allowed her to enter.
Dolly was shocked and asked St. Peter, "why did you allow the Queen to enter?" St. Peter replied, "a royal flush is always better than a pair!"
# Posted on December 26th 2008 by Leendah
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
How do you break a fiddle player's neck?
Smash the toilet seat down on him when he's having a drink of water.
# Posted on December 26th 2008 by Rudall the time
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
Why did the fiddle player never have any trouble with piles or diarrhea?
Because God made him a perfect @rsehole.
# Posted on December 26th 2008 by Rudall the time
Re: Best Trad Joke Ever
What is a violist?
Someone who can't spell "violinist"...
# Posted on December 26th 2008 by nicholas