The famous concert pianist, Artur Rubinstein, was touring in Germany. In one small town, he did not like the way the piano had been tuned, so Rubinstein called the local piano tuner and tried to persuade him to re-tune the piano again. However, the piano tuner refused. He said, "Opporknockity only tunes once."
A famous violinist was touring this country to perform with most of the major symphony orchestras. In one city, the wife of the chairman of the board of directors of the local symphony orchestra was the president of a local Ladies Garden Club. She used her influence with her husband to persuade the violinist to perform a private concert at the monthly meeting of the Garden Club.
After the violinist performed (accompanied by a pianist), the wife of the chairman was talking to the violinist. She asked the violinist if he was married and did he have any children. The violinist said yes he was married and was the father of twins.
When the chairman's wife heard this, she just had to ask him the following question, "In your ethereal, magical world of music-making where you don't worry about or think about or have to pay attention to earthly things such as financial needs or your body while you are producing such heavenly sounds on your instrument, how did you feel when you heard that your wife had given birth to twins?
The violinist replied, "I felt as if I had received two fees for one performance."
The wonderful Scots musician Jimmy Shand was staying in a hotel and at breakfast he asked the waitress for some honey for his last piece of toast, she brought him a very tiny portion which prompted Jimmy to remark " I see ye keep a bee "
Brian McNeill wrote a tune in honour of Sir Jimmy, and called it ' I See Ye Keep a Bee '
Thank you Dave Hanson but I have already read the story behind "I See You Keep A Bee".
I submitted these two jokes because I didn't see them in any of the previous discussions about jokes.
I didn't mean to come across as "rude and snotty", Banjobabe but the story behind "I See Ya Keep A Bee" is in the comments with the tune and I do remember reading the comments because I was intrigued by the title.
If Dave Hanson would like an apology, I will be glad to send him one.
As for the second joke, I first read it when I was a teenager and thought it was funny. Although I am now in my forties and am a respectable married man, I still think it is funny because the President of the Ladies Garden Club still comes across to me as a pompous, overbearing, bore (like too many people at this hospital where I work) who doesn't truly understand music.
I am not going to insist on any maximum or minimum number of jokes but reading through the previous joke threads, I didn't see either one of these so I thought I would post them.
Two more music jokes
Two more music jokes
The famous concert pianist, Artur Rubinstein, was touring in Germany. In one small town, he did not like the way the piano had been tuned, so Rubinstein called the local piano tuner and tried to persuade him to re-tune the piano again. However, the piano tuner refused. He said, "Opporknockity only tunes once."
A famous violinist was touring this country to perform with most of the major symphony orchestras. In one city, the wife of the chairman of the board of directors of the local symphony orchestra was the president of a local Ladies Garden Club. She used her influence with her husband to persuade the violinist to perform a private concert at the monthly meeting of the Garden Club.
After the violinist performed (accompanied by a pianist), the wife of the chairman was talking to the violinist. She asked the violinist if he was married and did he have any children. The violinist said yes he was married and was the father of twins.
When the chairman's wife heard this, she just had to ask him the following question, "In your ethereal, magical world of music-making where you don't worry about or think about or have to pay attention to earthly things such as financial needs or your body while you are producing such heavenly sounds on your instrument, how did you feel when you heard that your wife had given birth to twins?
The violinist replied, "I felt as if I had received two fees for one performance."
# Posted on October 16th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Two more music jokes
The wonderful Scots musician Jimmy Shand was staying in a hotel and at breakfast he asked the waitress for some honey for his last piece of toast, she brought him a very tiny portion which prompted Jimmy to remark " I see ye keep a bee "
Brian McNeill wrote a tune in honour of Sir Jimmy, and called it ' I See Ye Keep a Bee '
# Posted on October 16th 2008 by Dave Hanson
Re: Two more music jokes
Thank you Dave Hanson but I have already read the story behind "I See You Keep A Bee".
I submitted these two jokes because I didn't see them in any of the previous discussions about jokes.
# Posted on October 16th 2008 by fauxcelt
Re: Two more music jokes
Well pardon me for mentioning it.
Dave H
# Posted on October 19th 2008 by Dave Hanson
Re: Two more music jokes
Well Fauxcelt, if you are insisting on a maximum of two jokes here this will be an extremely short thread.
# Posted on October 19th 2008 by John J.
Re: Two more music jokes
Your jokes weren't funny and you were rude and snotty to respond to Dave that way.
# Posted on October 19th 2008 by banjobabe
Re: Two more music jokes
I can't believe fauxcelt meant to be rude and snotty. He always comes across as gentle, as far as I can see ...
# Posted on October 19th 2008 by ethical blend
Re: Two more music jokes
I didn't mean to come across as "rude and snotty", Banjobabe but the story behind "I See Ya Keep A Bee" is in the comments with the tune and I do remember reading the comments because I was intrigued by the title.
If Dave Hanson would like an apology, I will be glad to send him one.
As for the second joke, I first read it when I was a teenager and thought it was funny. Although I am now in my forties and am a respectable married man, I still think it is funny because the President of the Ladies Garden Club still comes across to me as a pompous, overbearing, bore (like too many people at this hospital where I work) who doesn't truly understand music.
I am not going to insist on any maximum or minimum number of jokes but reading through the previous joke threads, I didn't see either one of these so I thought I would post them.
# Posted on October 20th 2008 by fauxcelt