OK before I begin, this is NOT meant to be a tune-bashing post, but an effort at humor.
I got to wondering whether I am the only one carousing with bonafide scoundrels when it comes to making fun of tune names. For instance, during gigs (not necessarily sessions) Hurry the Jug becomes Hurry the Drugs, Crested Hens = Crusted Phlegm, Fiddlers Green = Fiddlers Groin, Stool of Repentenance, well don't even bother... Once during a set of jigs, 2 dogs got into a dogfight right in front of us in the living room which all but obliterated the tunes, & that is now our 'dogfight' set. Please keep in mind we still like the tunes, but do you have any entertaining stories as how a tune or set may have become renamed or nicknamed? Apologies if this has already been done. Also I hope this post remains tasteful enough to not be censored by our gracious host.
My Darling A Sheep? This is just one step along the way that every player gets to, eventually. On a related note (but don't let it stop y'all from coming up with your own), check out http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display.php/112.
Oh God, "Last Night's Disaster?" My face literally hurts from laughing so much, wow thank you Zina, what a priceless posting of fictional tune titles. See that's the problem with being a flutist, when ppl are cracking jokes in your direction during a tune, you MUST keep a straight face, or you can't play.
Oh man, those are *still* funny! I'd forgotten about them. The only funny (to us) one we have is The Full of Ship set. It's two Shetland tunes but we can never keep their names straight so that's what we call them.
A friend and I used to have fun "translating" Irish tune names or other Irish titles into English. For instance, Ceol Rince na hEireann (sp?) became Cool Rinse, No Ironing. Alas, niether of us was responsible for that one. Bainis an Phiobaire (sp?) was Banish the Pooh Bear. Two more translations were Oiling the Beans and Temple of Gelatin but I don't remember the Irish titles.
"Waste in the bedding" LOL
Even a *snort* doesn't do it justice. I'm still wiping the tears out of my eyes. Thanks Brad for putting a smile on my face for the rest of the day!
Maybe we’re missing the boat here. In the renaming of tunes, we should perhaps be thinking about the huge sums of cash to be made in product endorsement:
Last Night’s Trojan
Maalox Before Breakfast
More Power To Your MasterCard
The Maid Behind The (Playtex 24-hour) Bra
Then there’s my personal favorite:
The Rocky Road To Honest Joe’s New and Used Cars, Where We’re Selling At Ridiculously Low Prices To Make Room for the 2003 Models
I think it's always worth going back and reading the old threads, but I don't do it often enough. I have to admit, when the threads have cycled back to subjects that we hashed out two or three times previous, my answers tend to get shorter and less complete than the first couple of times I've answered things, and I think that tends to be true across the board for us oldtimers at The Session...and it's amazing the things I've forgotten that we've covered.
And, as I believe someone once wrote, there's nothing quite like taking an old joke out of the past and bringing it back again. My god, you all -- we've had some great times "together"!
In a session a couple of weeks ago in London (The Bird in Hand - see 'Sessions'), banjo player Mick O'Connor was proposing an 'ornithological set' - a set of tunes whose titles all refer to birds of one kind or another (and there is no shortage of such tunes - Jenny's Chickens, The Pigeon on the Gate, Toss the Fearthers....). Not wanting to favour one part of the animal kingdom over another, I suggested an entomological set (it actually turned out that the accordion player in this session, Barbara Hackett, is an entomologist). The range of six-legged tunes to choose form is somewhat more limited than the feathered kind. We managed to come up with the Butterfly, The Fly in the Pint, Dance of the Honeybees - but I then resorted to modifying certain titles. I came up with the following:
The Maid on the Greenfly
When the Cockroach Crows it is Day
Queen of the Mayflies
Where is the Caterpillar?
The Ladybird on the Island (also The Enchanted Ladybird, The
Ladybird's Pantalettes etc.)
The Thrip to Athlone (etc.)
Devanney's Goat Moth
Handy with the Stick Insect
I can already feel the Earth shaking with your groans.
Heh, Miller's Maggot. Change the other one to Greenfly on the Maid and we're entering Forensic territory....ewww. My Darling a Sheep and Haste to the Exit are my faves so far. I guess we've all had nights when Hastening to the Exit seemed like a very good idea...
"The Clumsy Lover" DOES have another title -- "The Awkward F***er" ! Thank you Hammy Hamilton! I used to play in a band who NEVER gave the right names to the tunes. The names would change on a gig by gig basis. The only set I can remember off hand is "Strangle the Pony/ The Cliffs of Nowhere".
Mick O'Connor metioned the other week, that Bobby Casey like to refer to The Repeal of the Union as The Peel of the Onion.
To those with a rudimentary geographical knowledge of Ireland, an intellectual bent and an Irish accent, The Bucks of Oranmore is also known as The Galway Library. To anyone else, The Box of Oranges does nicely.
Returning to the toilet, I have always found the name Feakle rather distasteful (Sorry, Bernie - I am sure, pronounced properly, it bears no such malodorous connotations) - and it is, without a doubt, the last place in the world to deserve such an unfortunate name.
Ah -- well, since we used to take the bus to Oranmore, of course the Bucks became "the Bus of Oranmore"...
Don't get me started on Feakle. Those of you who have visited the SCTLS CafePress store already have seen the unofficial FHC fan club gear. My favorite are the boxer shorts. It was an incredibly sophomoric evening/morning on the night the unofficial FHC Fan Club sprang into being, but I've never laughed so hard for so long before or since.
There's a fiddler in Phoenix who is notorious for forgetting the names of tunes. His cousin from Ireland taught him to play St. Anne's Reel and told him that it was called
"Mary Hold the Candle Still While I Shave the Chicken's Lips."
I think this is Hungarian folk rather than Celtic.
Someone wanted some music ordering from the shop, a song called "Could I but express in song" and telephoned the order in. After some weeks she returned to the shop, who couldn't find the piece she ordered. Looking down at the order form, she saw "Kodaly - Buttocks Pressing Song".
Even worse, a certain Celtic cathedrals' music list featured a mass by "K. O'Daly". Are they related?
A friend of mine recorded one of the tunes I played at a session because he was unfamiliar with it. He naturally asked me what the name was. I loose half of my brains the instant someone wants me to spit out a name. I shrugged and told him "Fred". Years later We were playing that same tune and a newcomer asked the name. I gave him the correct name. My other friend gives me a look of dismay and says - I thought that was called Fred!?
Well, this is a Welsh one, but it's still Celtic music, so it counts.
The opening line of the Welsh National Anthem is
"Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi"
(I've now fulfilled an aim to get some Welsh onto an ITM site!)
The line is sometimes sung by English persons, either out of ignorance or in a desire to wind up the descendants of some of the aboriginal celts of mainland Britain, as,
"My hen laid a haddock on top of a tree"
the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
OK before I begin, this is NOT meant to be a tune-bashing post, but an effort at humor.
I got to wondering whether I am the only one carousing with bonafide scoundrels when it comes to making fun of tune names. For instance, during gigs (not necessarily sessions) Hurry the Jug becomes Hurry the Drugs, Crested Hens = Crusted Phlegm, Fiddlers Green = Fiddlers Groin, Stool of Repentenance, well don't even bother... Once during a set of jigs, 2 dogs got into a dogfight right in front of us in the living room which all but obliterated the tunes, & that is now our 'dogfight' set. Please keep in mind we still like the tunes, but do you have any entertaining stories as how a tune or set may have become renamed or nicknamed? Apologies if this has already been done. Also I hope this post remains tasteful enough to not be censored by our gracious host.
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by emily_bmore
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
My Darling A Sheep? This is just one step along the way that every player gets to, eventually. On a related note (but don't let it stop y'all from coming up with your own), check out http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display.php/112.
Zina
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by Zina Lee
P.S.
That's a VERY long thread, but the tune titles are down towards the end of it.
zls
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by Zina Lee
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
EMILY, SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE IN THE MEDICAL FIELD
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by whistlegirl in RI
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
LOL yes I am, but the one who coined those particular phrases is a lawyer!
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by emily_bmore
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Oh God, "Last Night's Disaster?" My face literally hurts from laughing so much, wow thank you Zina, what a priceless posting of fictional tune titles. See that's the problem with being a flutist, when ppl are cracking jokes in your direction during a tune, you MUST keep a straight face, or you can't play.
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by emily_bmore
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Shovel the Walk is my all-time favourite. My Darling A Sheep is a classic too. Toss The Fiddles... I'm partial to Boil The Coffee Early too.
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by glauber
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Too funny - thanks for the link Zina.
Let's get a new set going.
Jig of Slurs, Slants, and Stumbles
Cresten Hens - Crusty Chickens
Irish Flosser Woman
The Flop of Pork Toad - you don't want to know
I'll leave it there - If I see more - I'll share our other little pet names or Spoonerism accidents.
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by Mark Cordova
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Oh, I forgot about this thread, which followed the other closely...
http://www.thesession.org/discussions/display.php/136
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by Zina Lee
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Oh man, those are *still* funny! I'd forgotten about them. The only funny (to us) one we have is The Full of Ship set. It's two Shetland tunes but we can never keep their names straight so that's what we call them.
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by soft black stars
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
A friend and I used to have fun "translating" Irish tune names or other Irish titles into English. For instance, Ceol Rince na hEireann (sp?) became Cool Rinse, No Ironing. Alas, niether of us was responsible for that one. Bainis an Phiobaire (sp?) was Banish the Pooh Bear. Two more translations were Oiling the Beans and Temple of Gelatin but I don't remember the Irish titles.
Steve
# Posted on November 14th 2002 by SteveKendall
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
I can't believe "Varnish my foreskin" & "Waste in the Bedding" were glossed over
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by B Rad
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
The "Clumsy Lover" doesn't need any alteration, I guess..
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by Kenn
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
"Waste in the bedding" LOL
Even a *snort* doesn't do it justice. I'm still wiping the tears out of my eyes. Thanks Brad for putting a smile on my face for the rest of the day!
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by Will Harmon
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Maybe we’re missing the boat here. In the renaming of tunes, we should perhaps be thinking about the huge sums of cash to be made in product endorsement:
Last Night’s Trojan
Maalox Before Breakfast
More Power To Your MasterCard
The Maid Behind The (Playtex 24-hour) Bra
Then there’s my personal favorite:
The Rocky Road To Honest Joe’s New and Used Cars, Where We’re Selling At Ridiculously Low Prices To Make Room for the 2003 Models
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by cuchulain54
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
heeheeheehee...Banish the Pooh Bear! Waste in the Bedding! The Maid Behind the Bra! heeheeheehee...
zls
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by Zina Lee
P.S.
I think it's always worth going back and reading the old threads, but I don't do it often enough. I have to admit, when the threads have cycled back to subjects that we hashed out two or three times previous, my answers tend to get shorter and less complete than the first couple of times I've answered things, and I think that tends to be true across the board for us oldtimers at The Session...and it's amazing the things I've forgotten that we've covered.
And, as I believe someone once wrote, there's nothing quite like taking an old joke out of the past and bringing it back again. My god, you all -- we've had some great times "together"!
zls
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by Zina Lee
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
In a session a couple of weeks ago in London (The Bird in Hand - see 'Sessions'), banjo player Mick O'Connor was proposing an 'ornithological set' - a set of tunes whose titles all refer to birds of one kind or another (and there is no shortage of such tunes - Jenny's Chickens, The Pigeon on the Gate, Toss the Fearthers....). Not wanting to favour one part of the animal kingdom over another, I suggested an entomological set (it actually turned out that the accordion player in this session, Barbara Hackett, is an entomologist). The range of six-legged tunes to choose form is somewhat more limited than the feathered kind. We managed to come up with the Butterfly, The Fly in the Pint, Dance of the Honeybees - but I then resorted to modifying certain titles. I came up with the following:
The Maid on the Greenfly
When the Cockroach Crows it is Day
Queen of the Mayflies
Where is the Caterpillar?
The Ladybird on the Island (also The Enchanted Ladybird, The
Ladybird's Pantalettes etc.)
The Thrip to Athlone (etc.)
Devanney's Goat Moth
Handy with the Stick Insect
I can already feel the Earth shaking with your groans.
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Don't forget the Miller's Maggot, although that is a bit anticipatory
Yah our bird set includes Swallowtail Jig, Geese in the Bog, & Lark in the AM, working on Gander in the Pratie Hole.
Our contra band 'Roadkill set' includes Squirrel Heads in Gravy with Nail that Catfish to the Tree. *shrug*
Still laffing here @ Temple of Gelatin
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by emily_bmore
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Heh, Miller's Maggot. Change the other one to Greenfly on the Maid and we're entering Forensic territory....ewww. My Darling a Sheep and Haste to the Exit are my faves so far. I guess we've all had nights when Hastening to the Exit seemed like a very good idea...
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by soft black stars
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
That most wonderfully fun (and controversial it would seem) band K
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by dargs
More tune titles
Oooh, and I've also heard Tommy's Tarbukas passed off as 'Tommy's Testicles' recently...
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by dargs
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
My husband always refers to Si beg Si mor as She Begs For More.
# Posted on November 15th 2002 by Andee
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
from the other side of the pond I offer this one
'Westphalia Waltz' has become 'Worst Failure Waltz'
# Posted on November 16th 2002 by frosali
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
"The Clumsy Lover" DOES have another title -- "The Awkward F***er" ! Thank you Hammy Hamilton! I used to play in a band who NEVER gave the right names to the tunes. The names would change on a gig by gig basis. The only set I can remember off hand is "Strangle the Pony/ The Cliffs of Nowhere".
# Posted on November 16th 2002 by LongNote
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
How about "Jenny Cooking Pickles" and "The Nine Points of Buggery"
# Posted on November 16th 2002 by murfbox
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Mick O'Connor metioned the other week, that Bobby Casey like to refer to The Repeal of the Union as The Peel of the Onion.
To those with a rudimentary geographical knowledge of Ireland, an intellectual bent and an Irish accent, The Bucks of Oranmore is also known as The Galway Library. To anyone else, The Box of Oranges does nicely.
Returning to the toilet, I have always found the name Feakle rather distasteful (Sorry, Bernie - I am sure, pronounced properly, it bears no such malodorous connotations) - and it is, without a doubt, the last place in the world to deserve such an unfortunate name.
# Posted on November 16th 2002 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
On the HD side of things here are a couple
Missouri - misery
Whiskey before Breakfast - Spirits in the morning
# Posted on November 17th 2002 by jrathbun
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
The Cliffs of Mohair
Three polkas: The Peat Fire Flame, Maggie in the Wood and Peggy Lettirmore become
Pete, Mag and Peg
The Star of the Flouncy Gown
# Posted on November 17th 2002 by Fiiddle R
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Suprised theres no tune titled, "The Morning Wood"
# Posted on November 17th 2002 by B Rad
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Lannigan's Balls....improper but delightful!
# Posted on November 17th 2002 by smileyTPR
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Ah -- well, since we used to take the bus to Oranmore, of course the Bucks became "the Bus of Oranmore"...
It was an incredibly sophomoric evening/morning on the night the unofficial FHC Fan Club sprang into being, but I've never laughed so hard for so long before or since.
Don't get me started on Feakle. Those of you who have visited the SCTLS CafePress store already have seen the unofficial FHC fan club gear. My favorite are the boxer shorts.
http://www.cafeshops.com/sctls
Zina
# Posted on November 17th 2002 by Zina Lee
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Haven't heard of "The Morning Wood". Is it a hard tune?
-m
# Posted on November 18th 2002 by Trevor Jennings
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
There's a fiddler in Phoenix who is notorious for forgetting the names of tunes. His cousin from Ireland taught him to play St. Anne's Reel and told him that it was called
"Mary Hold the Candle Still While I Shave the Chicken's Lips."
# Posted on November 18th 2002 by whistlemanhimself
Re: Hungarian tune names
I think this is Hungarian folk rather than Celtic.
Someone wanted some music ordering from the shop, a song called "Could I but express in song" and telephoned the order in. After some weeks she returned to the shop, who couldn't find the piece she ordered. Looking down at the order form, she saw "Kodaly - Buttocks Pressing Song".
Even worse, a certain Celtic cathedrals' music list featured a mass by "K. O'Daly". Are they related?
# Posted on November 18th 2002 by geoffwright
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
Not a tune name but I heard of someone who went in a record store wanting some music by the famous harper Carol Anne.
Steve
# Posted on November 19th 2002 by SteveKendall
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes
A friend of mine recorded one of the tunes I played at a session because he was unfamiliar with it. He naturally asked me what the name was. I loose half of my brains the instant someone wants me to spit out a name. I shrugged and told him "Fred". Years later We were playing that same tune and a newcomer asked the name. I gave him the correct name. My other friend gives me a look of dismay and says - I thought that was called Fred!?
Thanks for the laughs all.
# Posted on November 19th 2002 by Mark Cordova
Re: the colourful(?) renaming of tunes (Welsh)
Well, this is a Welsh one, but it's still Celtic music, so it counts.
The opening line of the Welsh National Anthem is
"Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi"
(I've now fulfilled an aim to get some Welsh onto an ITM site!)
The line is sometimes sung by English persons, either out of ignorance or in a desire to wind up the descendants of some of the aboriginal celts of mainland Britain, as,
"My hen laid a haddock on top of a tree"
-m
# Posted on November 19th 2002 by Trevor Jennings