OK gang,
The most common cliches heard *all the time* at sessions:
1. Give us the one you got 10 years for.
2. Give us the one you played at your mother's wedding (followed by self effacing giggles)
3. Will you play us a tune ? Arragh you will (said with a faint trace of an Irish accent).
4. I got this tune from (fill in the famous name of choice)....
Anyways, I'd love to hear what's par for the course at other sessions.
6. That one reminds me of (fill in tune name)....
7. Jaysus, I've been looking for the name of that one for some time. (said after name of tune has been given)
8. You know that one (followed by a lilt)....do that one!
1. Isn't that normally played in Aminor?
2. You asked me what that one was called last week!
3. And the week before!
4. I don't know the names of tunes ...
5. Oh, go on then, I'll have a pint.
6. No, the Normal, not the Extra-Cold!
7. Is that the one we usually do after the one we play before?
8. I didn't know you played jazz
Quinn, the next time you hear one of these, announce that you are going to play "Santo and Johnny's Slide", then play "Sleepwalk" and see if he catches on.
OK, here's one: "Can you play that 'Titanic' song?"
"Is this anybodys seat ? " . . says he . . . "yes" says I . . "cos I need that for the half of my guitar" . . . I will explain in more detail if required . . or is it obvious?
"If its all right with you people do you mind if I sing a tune now, " . . being a nice bunch of sessioneers you all say "yeh go ahead !". Chap reaches in his inside pocket a pulls out 35 sheets of A4 . . . all in a size 6 font . . . writing on both sides . . .
This might be just a flute player thing but I swear to God, if anyone EVER asks me again have I heard / play any Jethro Tull, I will give them a good fong!!!
Cammy. I can't save you having that question in future, but when I was on honeymoon we hired a speedboat and got marooned in the middle of a group of sandbanks during a violent thunderstorm. We couldn't work out where the safest place to be was, but in the end we jumped into the water and sat in it. If you went under you could see the fish and corals lit up as if by a flashbulb. We still don't know what the safest option would have been, but we did survive!
1. To me: "You're gonna have a good voice when you grow up." (I was 41 at the time.)
2. To my female bandmate: "Why don't you get one of those microphones that go on your head so you can come out from behind that stand?"
3. To me, concerning my female bandmate: "Your mother sure is pretty." (She's only 11 years older than me, so I'm sure that made her feel really special.)
(I think the third statement explains the second.)
Why does eveyone call it "Duellin' Banjos"?. There's only one banjo.When the Dillards recorded it in 1962 they called ir "Duellin' Banjo",and it was a duel between the banjo and the mandolin.
That's what the fiddler gets for trying to "just pick up the tune." It always amazes me how in this music it's impossible for some people to just listen sometimes. It's as if they're thinking, "Gee... the sound of me noodling along is adding so much." Yea right.
So many people call the tune "Dueling Banjos" because in 1973 a recording, "'Dueling Banjos', from The Original Soundtrack: Deliverance," was released and that version with *two* banjos and a guitar topped the charts and won a Grammy in the USA.
Slight segue, or call it poetic licence.
Our 5 -string player had the hots for a woman he kept meeting at sessions (also a 5 - string player).
Whistle player: "Does she know you like her?"
Fiddler: "She must have seen him drooling."
Accordionist: "Is that where the term Drooling Banjos comes from?"
Thanks Pat! Habn't laffed so much at one thread that doesn't involve Dow for a while!
A. Is it meant to sound like that?
Buttons/keys etc vs punters
1. What key did you play that in?
2. Are you sure?
3. What the f''nh'l is a mixolydian...Isn't that one o them push-me-pull you things with the buttons? I thought that was anacordjeion you were playin?
4. Well what's da difference btween anacordjeion and ameldodejeion?
5. So what's a constantscramer then?
5.5 Why don't ya get one of them?
6. What do ya mean free reed?
7. Dry tune?
8. Ah conm'n on you're having me on!
9. Doyouknowthewaytosantjose...babadadadadada.....
Bodhrans vs punters
1. Gie us a go!
2. Why not?
3. Ah c'mon, gie us ago!
Fiddles vs punters
1.Is that a stradavarius?"
2. Is it valuable?
3. What is the stuff ya rub up'ndown on the hairs of the bow called ?
3.Where do you live?
Guitarists vd punters
1. Ooooh
2. Where do yu live?
All of this reminds me of a joke I thought up at my own ineptitude at recently seeing what a friend had been doing for years whilst we played which effected intonation but until now I was unable to grasp.
Q: What's the difference btween a violin player and a fiddle player?
A: The same as the difference between fir and an ape.
Q: What's that then?
A: An opposable thumb.
Thats a hard one to play on the banjo
Thats a hard one to play on the flute
Its easier on the box in D
I cant sing it in G so can we do it in F
Where did you get that instrument from
Oh $!*&$ Mc*&£!%$O used to play a lovely version of that tune, but because he is 10 years in heaven his was better.
Can I have your number
PLAY THE SALLY GARDENS ! after just playing it in a set of 3 tunes
How much do you guys charge
Where else do you guys play
This ones in the key of Barry Manilow Bm
Whilst carrying a harp or piano acc- "il bet u wish ud started the mouth organ!" or "would a tin whistle not be easier to carry?"
Other random ones:
"You going to the fleadh?"
"You competing?"
"You ever heard of (INSERT NAME OF WELL-KNOWN MUSICIAN)?", "yes", "theyr really good"
One time, whilst playing at a ceili (ok not a session, but stil) was asked (by a 5-year-old):
"Why do you play that instrument? You're sh*t at it!"
She may hav had a point though, it was piano acc!
Whenever someone sees me staggering down the road with my double bass, someone always shouts "bet you wished you played the piccolo."
If anyone can think of a good comeback for me to use next time I hear it it'd be much appreciated.....the piccolo comment is starting to get to me......
Once again I have come looking for your help... I know Im off topic but still...
I need accommodation for Will Clancy. Ok there is camping in Spanish Point or I could go to Doonbeg, but is there showering facilities? Can't imagine not having a shower for a weekend.
This happened at a church service, not a session, but I'm sure some of you can still relate (especially Millionyears):
The choir director announces a number in the hymnbook. So I open the book, find the song, and it's written in the key of D.
Oh, goody! Here I am rubbing my hands together, all excited, and I pull out my trusty D whistle. About that time, the keyboardist announces that she is going to transpose it to D-flat.
You're right, dafydd, it is Weissberg, and Mandell on guitar,
and they won the Grammy. The soundtrack, however, contained a number of tunes featuring, among others, the combined talents of Weissberg and Marshall Brickman on banjo, so "Dueling Banjos" became the marketing tag.
Hey, Mark, if you keep coming up with this stuff, I'll rupture something laughing and my days of playing anything heavier than a pennywhistle will be over!
My favourite is "You play the fiddle!...Do 'The Devil went down to Georgia'".
Or as I was once asked, "can you play 'The Devil went down to Jamaica'". Genius.
1. Play Danny Boy.
2. (in less traditional environments) play us some Johnny Cash.
3. Play that one tune you played with that other tune back when you learned that one slip jig.
4. I used to know that one.
5. Being a harpist, it's always something about angels at least once.
6. Are you the live entertainment?
7. Is that the Guinness harp?
8. Wait...how does it go?
9. Too much...leave it out.
10. That's nice Celtic music (my personal least favorite)
A rather chilling statement I heard from a grizzled old tough guy once:
"Don't feel bad--look at it this way. You didn't break a guitar string, you gained yourself a nice garotte."
On Mayday in an English west country dock-side pub:
Two track - suit covered lads, earings, lager in hand... adidas clad feet tapping subconciously with one finger lifting from the grip of the golden glass perfectly in time to the on beat of a fine English polka tune.
Lad 1 - It's alrioght, vis
Lad 2 - Dose paddies really know how to enjoy vemselves, eh?
These are the types of threads I miss on this board! LMAO@ greenwiggle, free reed, haha
punter v fluter, true stories
"What is that?"
"What is it made of?"
"Do they let you through airport security?"
"Yeah I used to play recorder."
"Yeah I used to play clarinet."
"You must have gone to band camp."
"I used to play flute in marching band - awesome!"
"I like your whistle."
"Where do you live?"
Session cliches
Session cliches
OK gang,
The most common cliches heard *all the time* at sessions:
1. Give us the one you got 10 years for.
2. Give us the one you played at your mother's wedding (followed by self effacing giggles)
3. Will you play us a tune ? Arragh you will (said with a faint trace of an Irish accent).
4. I got this tune from (fill in the famous name of choice)....
Anyways, I'd love to hear what's par for the course at other sessions.
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Patkiwi
Re: Session cliches
I have never heard 1 or 2.
How about:
5. Do you know The Fields of Athenry? (at which point, danger alarms should sound)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by AlBrown
Re: Session cliches
Unlikely to hear
"What are you all having, boys?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
6. That one reminds me of (fill in tune name)....
7. Jaysus, I've been looking for the name of that one for some time. (said after name of tune has been given)
8. You know that one (followed by a lilt)....do that one!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by 52Paddy
Re: Session cliches
"Is that a banjo or a ukele you have there?"
Enough to get most mandolin players gritting their teeth!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
9 I've never heard anything like that before
10 Can you sing it in D ..... ......
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by jfother
Re: Session cliches
From the back of the crowd:
Play Rocky Top!
Do you know any John Denver?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Bob himself
Re: Session cliches
"What's the name of your band?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
When I play the harp:
11. Brought my harp to a party....
(Jeez, never heard that one before!)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
Play us your hardest tune!!
Used to try and put people off - my response is usually to play the simplest tune I can think of!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Tarrantella
Re: Session cliches
1. Isn't that normally played in Aminor?
2. You asked me what that one was called last week!
3. And the week before!
4. I don't know the names of tunes ...
5. Oh, go on then, I'll have a pint.
6. No, the Normal, not the Extra-Cold!
7. Is that the one we usually do after the one we play before?
8. I didn't know you played jazz
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
Could you play Riverdance?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Sugarfoot Jack
Re: Session cliches
"Do you guys just make it up as you go along?" - said by a chap who wanted to bring his guitar next time (but fortunately didn't).
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by RichardB
Re: Session cliches
Ater a long set of reels:
"Play that nice one you do"
or
"Play us one we know - in fact, play us one you know"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by quinn
Re: Session cliches
"The Bucks, the Bucks!"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by tradshark
Re: Session cliches
No, it's
"Aaar The Bucks, The Bucks, the Splendid Bucks."
and perhaps
"An absolute cracker of a tune and I pity anyone who thinks otherwise. It's whole essence is the centre of diddley music."
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
"The Horror! The Horror!"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
Quinn, the next time you hear one of these, announce that you are going to play "Santo and Johnny's Slide", then play "Sleepwalk" and see if he catches on.
OK, here's one: "Can you play that 'Titanic' song?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
(after you've played a really wild, fast piece):
"Can you do something fast? You know, lively..."
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
"Is this anybodys seat ? " . . says he . . . "yes" says I . . "cos I need that for the half of my guitar" . . . I will explain in more detail if required . . or is it obvious?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"Do you know any George Formby?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"Do you know Duelling Banjos?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
"I can sing a song" says she . . "but I don't know any of the words" . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"Come on - who's hidden my dulcimer tuning spanner?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
Naw, it's "Do you ken the music from Deliverance?"
They sometimes don't even know that it's called Duelling banjos!"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
I can see Jeremy putting a stop to this . . . its good though in't it
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"I enjoy listening to the pan pipes, on occasion too."
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
"That last tune you just played sounded really good, but it sounds better played in F # " . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"Whoo . . play sumat to cheer me up . . after that last tune I feel like slashing me wrists . . "
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"Have you been playing all the time? I didn't hear you."
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
"Do you often come in here to practice?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by John J.
Re: Session cliches
"If its all right with you people do you mind if I sing a tune now, " . . being a nice bunch of sessioneers you all say "yeh go ahead !". Chap reaches in his inside pocket a pulls out 35 sheets of A4 . . . all in a size 6 font . . . writing on both sides . . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
Correction sing a SONG . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
Someone once asked me "Do you know "The Lonely Postman?" aka The Lonesome Boatman!
Also "Thats a good tune you have been playing for over an hour but do you know any others?"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Kess
Re: Session cliches
The person who said to me "I don't like harps" before singing a 20-verse unaccompanied song. Rude b*stard.
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
Youv'e just finished playing the Kesh jig, and someone from the back of the room blurts out . . . "Are there any words to that " . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"What's the name of your band?"
"Is that a banjo?" (I play the mandolin)
"Play louder!" (I play the mandolin)
"Can you play Duelling Banjos?" (I play the mandolin) - Sorry, it's a duplicate, I know.
"Play The Wild Rover!" (Nay, Never! No more!)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by CreadurMawnOrganig
Re: Session cliches
"Do you know the piano's on my foot" . . . "You hum it son and I'll play it ! " . . . the old ones are the best . . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
"Here's a song I wrote, let's do it in G, and see if you can follow along."
5 bars later: "Oops, that's a little bit out of my range. Let's try it again in C."
(Extra points if three different people do it.)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
"How long did it take you to learn that tune?"
Answer: "40 years"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by ScottC
Re: Session cliches
Jaysus, we played that WAY too fast!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Cammy
Re: Session cliches
This might be just a flute player thing but I swear to God, if anyone EVER asks me again have I heard / play any Jethro Tull, I will give them a good fong!!!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by TheHappyCamper
Re: Session cliches
Can someone give me an A?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Session cliches
"You Speeded Up!"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
"No I didn't, you did! - You always speed up!"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
"No I didn't!"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Ottery
Re: Session cliches
Eh?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by irishfiddler
Re: Session cliches
Mawpu, do you know any Jethro Tull ? . . .
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Justintime
Re: Session cliches
You're sharp!
Anyone seen my spoons?
Anyone got the loan of a penknife? (often heard near where bodhran is being played poorly)
What's the rush, guys?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by lilt
Re: Session cliches
***ducks head to avoid flying beer bottle***
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
"Can someone give me an A?"
A!!!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Bob himself
Re: Session cliches
It's Country Jack and the Tipsy Fish!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Bob himself
Re: Session cliches
hahahaha
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Session cliches
Do you play Irish music because that's your family background?
How do you learn all those tunes?
Will you play that song they had on the Ken Burns thing -- what was that called -- Ashokan something-or-other.
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by cathrynb
Re: Session cliches
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
- Probably the commonest question at our session.
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Cammy
Re: Session cliches
"Go ahead and start playing it and I'll tell you if I know it or not."
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by nofrets
Re: Session cliches
Cammy. I can't save you having that question in future, but when I was on honeymoon we hired a speedboat and got marooned in the middle of a group of sandbanks during a violent thunderstorm. We couldn't work out where the safest place to be was, but in the end we jumped into the water and sat in it. If you went under you could see the fish and corals lit up as if by a flashbulb. We still don't know what the safest option would have been, but we did survive!
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
"Do you know the one that goes..." (insert tuneless humming here)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
Yeah I know that one! How does it go?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Cammy
Re: Session cliches
Said by my son after hearing a long drawn out song: "That was good. I especially like the part at the end when she shut up."
A story told by Liz Carroll: "You people always talk about playing a medly of three or four tunes, then you just play one over and over."
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Jiml
Re: Session cliches
These three came from the same old man:
1. To me: "You're gonna have a good voice when you grow up." (I was 41 at the time.)
2. To my female bandmate: "Why don't you get one of those microphones that go on your head so you can come out from behind that stand?"
3. To me, concerning my female bandmate: "Your mother sure is pretty." (She's only 11 years older than me, so I'm sure that made her feel really special.)
(I think the third statement explains the second.)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
The tmother of all mandolin comments:
Can you play Duelling Banjos on that ukelele?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Bren
Re: Session cliches
"What're you having?" (points at nearly empty pint glass)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Session cliches
"Free Bird!" (although maybe that is just a cliche at American musical events)
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by AlBrown
Re: Session cliches
Why does eveyone call it "Duellin' Banjos"?. There's only one banjo.When the Dillards recorded it in 1962 they called ir "Duellin' Banjo",and it was a duel between the banjo and the mandolin.
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by dafydd
Re: Session cliches
"D"
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by clunk999
Re: Session cliches
Was that B?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by clunk999
Re: Session cliches
No, I'm sure he said D
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by clunk999
Re: Session cliches
What kind of instrument IS that???? (referring to uilleann pipes, of course. I wish I had a dollar every time I heard this one).
Do you play Amazing Grace?
What's the name of the second tune in that set?
Is your family Irish?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by DrSilverSpear
Re: Session cliches
'wanna go out fera pipe'?
# Posted on June 28th 2006 by johnboy
Re: Session cliches
This really happened at our session:
Fiddler: "Fine set there Brian. I couldn't just pick up the tune though.."
Visiting Piper: "I should explain that this very expensive new chanter is actually in B"
Fiddlers all: .......gasp....
Piper: "oh it's easy to join in with me, just transpose"
Fiddlers: ...............(silent expressions of despair)....exeunt to bar
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by millionyears_bc
Are you classically trained?
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by dogmageek
Re: Session cliches
That's what the fiddler gets for trying to "just pick up the tune." It always amazes me how in this music it's impossible for some people to just listen sometimes. It's as if they're thinking, "Gee... the sound of me noodling along is adding so much." Yea right.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Phantom Button
Re: Session cliches
"Why does eveyone call it "Duellin' Banjos"?"
So many people call the tune "Dueling Banjos" because in 1973 a recording, "'Dueling Banjos', from The Original Soundtrack: Deliverance," was released and that version with *two* banjos and a guitar topped the charts and won a Grammy in the USA.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by ʎɹoʇısuɐɹʇ
Re: Session cliches
Slight segue, or call it poetic licence.
Our 5 -string player had the hots for a woman he kept meeting at sessions (also a 5 - string player).
Whistle player: "Does she know you like her?"
Fiddler: "She must have seen him drooling."
Accordionist: "Is that where the term Drooling Banjos comes from?"
OK, sorry, it just seemed......
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by oldstrings
Re: Session cliches
Dogmageek: (if it's me you're asking) no, I'm self taught. I play neither pipes nor fiddle.
There are two points to my tale:
1. Noodling (PB's point) and the fiddlers' ignorance of the pipes
2. The pipers' ignorance of how the fiddle works
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by millionyears_bc
Re: Session cliches
Thanks Pat! Habn't laffed so much at one thread that doesn't involve Dow for a while!
A. Is it meant to sound like that?
Buttons/keys etc vs punters
1. What key did you play that in?
2. Are you sure?
3. What the f''nh'l is a mixolydian...Isn't that one o them push-me-pull you things with the buttons? I thought that was anacordjeion you were playin?
4. Well what's da difference btween anacordjeion and ameldodejeion?
5. So what's a constantscramer then?
5.5 Why don't ya get one of them?
6. What do ya mean free reed?
7. Dry tune?
8. Ah conm'n on you're having me on!
9. Doyouknowthewaytosantjose...babadadadadada.....
Bodhrans vs punters
1. Gie us a go!
2. Why not?
3. Ah c'mon, gie us ago!
Fiddles vs punters
1.Is that a stradavarius?"
2. Is it valuable?
3. What is the stuff ya rub up'ndown on the hairs of the bow called ?
3.Where do you live?
Guitarists vd punters
1. Ooooh
2. Where do yu live?
All of this reminds me of a joke I thought up at my own ineptitude at recently seeing what a friend had been doing for years whilst we played which effected intonation but until now I was unable to grasp.
Q: What's the difference btween a violin player and a fiddle player?
A: The same as the difference between fir and an ape.
Q: What's that then?
A: An opposable thumb.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Greenwiggle
Re: Session cliches
Thats a hard one to play on the banjo
Thats a hard one to play on the flute
Its easier on the box in D
I cant sing it in G so can we do it in F
Where did you get that instrument from
Oh $!*&$ Mc*&£!%$O used to play a lovely version of that tune, but because he is 10 years in heaven his was better.
Can I have your number
PLAY THE SALLY GARDENS ! after just playing it in a set of 3 tunes
How much do you guys charge
Where else do you guys play
This ones in the key of Barry Manilow Bm
I could write a book on them
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Ripthecalico
Whilst carrying a harp or piano acc- "il bet u wish ud started the mouth organ!" or "would a tin whistle not be easier to carry?"
Other random ones:
"You going to the fleadh?"
"You competing?"
"You ever heard of (INSERT NAME OF WELL-KNOWN MUSICIAN)?", "yes", "theyr really good"
One time, whilst playing at a ceili (ok not a session, but stil) was asked (by a 5-year-old):
"Why do you play that instrument? You're sh*t at it!"
She may hav had a point though, it was piano acc!
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Rosh
Re: Session cliches
Whenever someone sees me staggering down the road with my double bass, someone always shouts "bet you wished you played the piccolo."
If anyone can think of a good comeback for me to use next time I hear it it'd be much appreciated.....the piccolo comment is starting to get to me......
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Andy V
Re: Session cliches
Yeah but ya can't live under a piccolo.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by zookman2
Re: Session cliches
Probably can't live under a double bass either but at least it'll keep the rain off you.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by zookman2
Re: Session cliches
Best ever I heard in a bar last night. There was too local fellas playing the guitar and bongos, obviously not Irish Trad.
Yank: Can you play Horseslips on the bongos, thats a great 'song' (No dupid, toon)
Bongo Player... Looks strangely at the excited Yank and says, ''you are obviously a golfer''.
"Do your hands ever get tired?"
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Sarfly
Re: Session cliches
Just to add another twist to things, what are the things we wish we had heard or said at a session?
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by AlBrown
Re: Session cliches
I've told it before on this board, but anyway. Heard this at a session once:
Flute player: "Mind if I play a slow air?"
Banjo man: "As long as you're quick".
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by quinn
Re: Session cliches
Once again I have come looking for your help... I know Im off topic but still...
I need accommodation for Will Clancy. Ok there is camping in Spanish Point or I could go to Doonbeg, but is there showering facilities? Can't imagine not having a shower for a weekend.
Ideas anyone?
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Sarfly
Re: Session cliches
Double bass/picolo comeback:
"Bet you wished you played the picolo!"
"I used to, but I stuck it up the last idiot's a&$e!"
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Shrog
Re: Session cliches
This happened at a church service, not a session, but I'm sure some of you can still relate (especially Millionyears):
The choir director announces a number in the hymnbook. So I open the book, find the song, and it's written in the key of D.
Oh, goody! Here I am rubbing my hands together, all excited, and I pull out my trusty D whistle. About that time, the keyboardist announces that she is going to transpose it to D-flat.
Uff! Felt like a face full of cold water! :-p
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
I've just played the Deliverance soundtrack album and it sounds like a duel between the guitar and the banjo,played by Eric Weiss.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by dafydd
Re: Session cliches
Punter: What's the name of that instrument? Is it called a clarsach or something?
Me: No, it's just called a small harp
Punter: A small harp?
Me: Yep, like a big harp, only smaller.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
LOL, Mark!
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
You're right, dafydd, it is Weissberg, and Mandell on guitar,
and they won the Grammy. The soundtrack, however, contained a number of tunes featuring, among others, the combined talents of Weissberg and Marshall Brickman on banjo, so "Dueling Banjos" became the marketing tag.
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by ʎɹoʇısuɐɹʇ
Re: Session cliches
Actually a good one I heard once when bringing my harp to a pub session: "The Guinness rep's arrived!"
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
Hey, Mark, if you keep coming up with this stuff, I'll rupture something laughing and my days of playing anything heavier than a pennywhistle will be over!
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Drop_D_Chalupa
Re: Session cliches
That's very kind - but please don't do yourself an injury. All the comments are acquired from years of people asking strange questions!!
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by Mark Harmer
Re: Session cliches
Doublebass/piccolo comeback: A shaggy dog story acquired in the dim forgotten past
Musicians play for king. King enraptured, offers to fill all their instruments with gold. "And there I stood with my piccolo."
Obviously it can be embroidered, but those are the bare bones and the punchline for you to do with what you will. Cheers!
# Posted on June 29th 2006 by KateG
Re: Session cliches
My favourite is "You play the fiddle!...Do 'The Devil went down to Georgia'".
Or as I was once asked, "can you play 'The Devil went down to Jamaica'". Genius.
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by Choonz
Re: Session cliches
"Nice songs, guys. Where're the toilets?"
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by ʎɹoʇısuɐɹʇ
Re: Session cliches
1. Play Danny Boy.
2. (in less traditional environments) play us some Johnny Cash.
3. Play that one tune you played with that other tune back when you learned that one slip jig.
4. I used to know that one.
5. Being a harpist, it's always something about angels at least once.
6. Are you the live entertainment?
7. Is that the Guinness harp?
8. Wait...how does it go?
9. Too much...leave it out.
10. That's nice Celtic music (my personal least favorite)
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by Tipperaryharper
Re: Session cliches
"I NEED A NEW G STRING"
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by Button Box
Re: Session cliches
"how do you know when to stop?"
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by Brown Creeper
Re: Session cliches
A rather chilling statement I heard from a grizzled old tough guy once:
"Don't feel bad--look at it this way. You didn't break a guitar string, you gained yourself a nice garotte."
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by AlBrown
Re: Session cliches
On Mayday in an English west country dock-side pub:
Two track - suit covered lads, earings, lager in hand... adidas clad feet tapping subconciously with one finger lifting from the grip of the golden glass perfectly in time to the on beat of a fine English polka tune.
Lad 1 - It's alrioght, vis
Lad 2 - Dose paddies really know how to enjoy vemselves, eh?
Ahh the irony...
# Posted on June 30th 2006 by An Diulach Mor
Re: Session cliches (all true)
Can you play that tune that goes up at the start?
Do you play requests? Anything will do.
Gizagowontheeaccordionoralpanthee (Barnsley-ite wanting a go).
Anyonyezanyonyer? (Northumbrian fiddler wanting some rosin)
# Posted on July 3rd 2006 by geoffwright
Re: Session cliches
Why do all yer tunes sound the same?
# Posted on July 3rd 2006 by jrathbun
Re: Session cliches
I'm sorry about the tardy uptake, but here goes:
What I hate to hear is "Gimmee your guitar..."
What I'd like to hear is:
"Are you looking for a gig?"
"Here's my phone number, call me."
Take care, Y'all.
# Posted on July 3rd 2006 by tomw
Re: Session cliches
These are the types of threads I miss on this board! LMAO@ greenwiggle, free reed, haha
punter v fluter, true stories
"What is that?"
"What is it made of?"
"Do they let you through airport security?"
"Yeah I used to play recorder."
"Yeah I used to play clarinet."
"You must have gone to band camp."
"I used to play flute in marching band - awesome!"
"I like your whistle."
"Where do you live?"
# Posted on July 6th 2006 by emily_bmore